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Mind-boggling Abomination
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 Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:50 pm
So, there I was, taking a nap, when an elf fell from the ceiling. They normally burst into my house, but when they fall from the ceiling I know that they're here for something important. He threw a letter at me and left the same way he came in. I opened the letter and noticed that it was written in grape faygo. It said:
Dear Miss Bloodfire,
I regret to inform you that all sweets have vanished from Gaia. This can only be the work of the vile Zero Omega. Please get them back.
Hugs and Kisses, Steve.
I wondered who this "Steve" was, but I decided that it didn't matter. I needed to get the sweets back!
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Cognitohazard rolled 2 20-sided dice:
8, 6
Total: 14 (2-40)
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 4:06 pm
ROLL 1 FOR 12/6
I equipped the HEARTSBANE BLADE and the NECRONOMICON and set out. After a while I came across a ZERO BOT ARMY. They looked suspicious, so I decided to cast a spell on them.
Riyoushi used DEMONIC SPELL!
It did nothing but turn the ZERO BOT ARMY hot pink! You really need to learn to read demon, Riyoushi.
ZERO BOT ARMY
AC - 10
HP - 40
Special status: Pink
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Mind-boggling Abomination
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Cognitohazard rolled 2 20-sided dice:
12, 19
Total: 31 (2-40)
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Mind-boggling Abomination
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 4:17 pm
ROLL 2 FOR 12/6
Riyoushi is OUT OF ROLLS for today!
... That's too bad, really. I like dinner rolls. Oh wait, it's not that kind of roll? Okay. Sorry.
There's too many ZERO BOTS for me to use the HEARTSBANE BLADE, so I try a summoning spell. I think of a demon that hates pink...
Riyoushi summoned EBONY DARK'NESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY.
The gothic vampire witch rose out of a demonic portal and set her blue eyes on the ZERO BOTS. Her gaze turned into a glare as she saw the preppiest color ever: pink! "Y R THESE ****ING ROBOS PINK?" she screeched in a voice that reminded me slightly of Amy Lee and Gerard Way, if Gerard was a girl and they were both screeching. "R DEY ****ING PREPZ?"
I nodded in reply. "Hey, Ebony! I think you should totally hurt them. Because they're preps and not kawaii." I hoped that was good enough for her. If I couldn't control ENOBY - I mean, EBONY - then I was screwed.
She smiled in a depressed way. "Ok dat sounds like a ****ing good idea." She turned and pointed a GUN at them. It had a bunch of red lace on it. Before I could think "Ugh, how tacky," a bajillion bullets flew out of the gun and hit the ZERO BOT ARMY. The GUN disappeared and EBONY turned to me. "Hay *****, dat was so ****ing fun! Wanna go 2 a MCR consert wif me an Drako?" she asked in a way I would expect Alruna to ask.
"Uhh, no thanks. You see, I'm on a mission, and I can't waste any time going to see MCR." To be honest, being in EBONY'S presence was starting to make my brain hurt.
EBONY smiled at me. "Well, bi (geddit because bi guys r hot) *****." She hopped into the portal and was gone.
ZERO BOT ARMY
AC - 10
HP - 21
Special status: Pink and they are also PREPZ.
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Cognitohazard rolled 2 20-sided dice:
11, 16
Total: 27 (2-40)
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:59 am
ROLL 1 FOR 7/12
Well, that last spell went well, so I'll try again.
Riyoushi used a DEMONIC SPELL!
The spell was a success!
ZERO BOT ARMY
AC - 10
HP - 5
Special status: Pink and they are also PREPZ.
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Mind-boggling Abomination
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Mind-boggling Abomination
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:23 pm
ROLL 2 FOR 7/12
Riyoushi is OUT OF ROLLS for today!
Suddenly I'm struck by a random bout of stupidity! I summon a demon...
Riyoushi summoned GIANT EVIL WEATHER FORECAST SYMBOLS!
Elevator music plays as GIANT EVIL WEATHER FORECAST SYMBOLS rise from the demonic portal in the ground. They take positions over the ZERO BOT ARMY and cast down WEATHER OF DOOM. They float back into the ground as the elevator music ends.
ZERO BOT ARMY
AC - 10
HP - -7
Special status: Pink, preppy, and dead.
A man walks up to me wearing a Santa hat. He is also holding grape faygo. "Hello, Riyoushi. I am Steve. I see that you are doing well, and would like to give you this gift." He gives me the faygo and leaves.
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:25 pm
What the hell. I forgot to use the dice thingy! ROLL 2 IS HERE INSTEAD. RIYOUSHI IS AN IDIOT.
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Mind-boggling Abomination
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Cognitohazard rolled 2 20-sided dice:
12, 7
Total: 19 (2-40)
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Mind-boggling Abomination
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 3:26 pm
Riyoushi Bloodfire What the hell. I forgot to use the dice thingy! ROLL 2 IS HERE INSTEAD. RIYOUSHI IS AN IDIOT. Well, apparently I'm really stupid.
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Cognitohazard rolled 2 20-sided dice:
18, 9
Total: 27 (2-40)
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:22 pm
Okay, so here's a quick recap of the past few days: I went back home and got my GIFT FROM A GOD - Hades' scepter. I also changed my outfit. I went back outside and trekked, finding no enemies...
ROLL 1 FOR 12/12
Wow, no enemies for five days? I can't believe my luck - hey, are those... zombies?
Oh, what the hell, I'll attack them.
Riyoushi used a SUMMONING SPELL!
A bunch of KILLER BUNNIES come out of a portal and hop, hop, hop towards the zombies and do KILLER BUNNY STUFF. Well, more like BUNNY stuff and less KILLER.
Crap.
ZERO ZOMBIE ARMY
AC - 13
HP: 51
Special Stats: None
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Mind-boggling Abomination
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Cognitohazard rolled 2 20-sided dice:
4, 4
Total: 8 (2-40)
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Mind-boggling Abomination
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 4:35 pm
ROLL 2 DOE 12/12
Riyoushi is OUT OF ROLLS FOR TODAY!
... Did ya see I wrote "doe" instead of "for"? If you did, that means you're paying close attention.
Riyoushi used a SUMMONING SPELL!
A portal opens, and a STRANGE WHISTLING NOISE is heard. A car drives out of it and is making said STRANGE WHISTLING NOISE. A man steps out of it, smiles, and shouts "WHOO WHOOOOO!" The ZOMBIES are not amused and eat the man.
I pause. Today's just not my day. However, I can probably use the WHISTLING CAR to my advantage...
ZERO ZOMBIE ARMY
AC - 13
HP - 51
Special Stats - Well-Fed
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