Well, I've turned 17 recently and gotten my first job, but I still do the things that I've done for 5 to 6 years, which is try and find a relationship online. It's because nobody approaches me irl, everyone is too busy for me. I stay at home laying around playing video games all weekend, feeling sorry for myself because nobody wants to spend time with me like everyone else. People sit in front of me or behind me in class, never right next to me, and nobody will tell me why. I'm not really beautiful (check my profile for a cosplay pic) and I don't really care what you look like as long as your feelings for me would me genuine. I don't have the best family life, either, seeing as my dad is probably cheating on my mean mom who has called me a whore and "someone who's so book-smart but so stupid at everything else." What I DO have are some good qualities.
My qualities:
Kind
Intelligent (for the most part, I've been scatterbrained lately)
Logical
Caring
Sympathetic (but I won't baby someone)
Shy
Friendly and fun (once you get to know me)
Hard-working
Dedicated
How I feel:
Alone
Depressed
Low self-confidence
Not hopeful for the future
Most of the time I'm just "normal" but my normal is more a bad normal than anything.
I feel like I'm asking for a lot because of what I want in someone, and I know I can't get everything I want, but I at least want something for myself for once. I'm kind of complicated when it comes to my emotions, because I've been dating online for about 5 to 6 years and I've gotten my feelings hurt all of those times. They either get bored and stop talking to me, leave without telling me and never come back, lie, cheat, etc. So please don't take it personally when I get upset sometimes thinking that I'm going to be dumped, it's just a natural thought. I don't take medications, nor do I go to therapy, although I would like to when I move out of my parents' house and do things for myself. Seeing as they want to take forever and a day to teach me how to drive, I'm not sure how long that's gonna take. I dunno, I'm just letting my thoughts flow here. I'm trying to make this as simple as clear-cut as possible, not saying that people need stuff like this dumbed down for them. x.x Ehhh...
What I would like in a person:
---> Half-uke, half-seme (I don't want a totally shy person, I want someone who gets me to do exciting things, but I don't want someone who's a total buff person and man-like)
---> Someone who can comfort me when I'm upset, meaning that they have to be there for me a lot. They have to be able to deal with me and my emotions.
---> Someone who will let me vent, and be genuinely concerned with what I'm going through at this point in my life.
---> Someone who loves video games, preferrably fantasy RPGs. For example, my favorites are Final Fantasy X, X-2, XI, and XIV, Bioshock, and Dragon Age. I want to be a GM for Final Fantasy XIV in the future so this is a MUST.
---> Loves going to anime conventions with me. I've gone to my first convention recently and I LOVED it.
---> Obviously, someone who doesn't cheat, lie, leave me alone for long periods of time, but I would like someone who fills me in on their life, too.
---> Someone who's romantic. Uses non-cheesy lines.
So yeah, I'm still looking... Not sure if I'll ever find you, my true love, whoever you are, but I hope to meet you here very soon. I need you in my life as soon as possible so I don't have to feel so alone anymore.
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