Welcome to Gaia! ::

The first time Vanessa suggested they spend an evening together enjoying movies and popcorn she'd had ulterior motives. With an eager heart and little experience she manufactured a half-baked plot of seduction, and suffered under the heavy weight of Kam's rejection. And then, shamefully, she'd taken advantage of Kam at a time when he was drunk and vulnerable. They did not even kiss that night, but Vanessa was certain that, if Kam had been sober, he would not have behaved…the way that he had.

This was not going to be like that.

Vanessa felt sure that Kam was, at least, a little bit attracted to her. But the temptation wasn't enough. And she was tired of wanting more from him. There was little point in pining after a man that she could not have, when Ricky was only a text message away. And all she had to do if she wanted to see Gehenna was cause a bit of a ruckus in a particular area of the city.

Thinking about them made her smile.

It was an expression that she wore all day, and which stayed with her until the evening, when she started preparing for Kam's visit. She tidied up, ordered a pizza, and set out some drinks. The apartment she shared with Chase was a comfortable size. It did not take long, to clean the space, and the pizza was due to arrive within the hour. Vanessa sat comfortably in front of the television, and waited for the knock at the door. She was pensive, but not upset.

It hurt that he didn't want her, but that was okay. It hurt that he went on dates with other girls, but that was okay.

Kam had been a very good friend to her, in more ways than he would probably ever know, and it was important to Vanessa that he understand how much she appreciated him.

If the tempo of the knock at the door was unusually sober, Vanessa didn't notice. The pizza was not due for another forty minutes, and Chase had his own set of keys. It could have been somebody else standing outside that door—her father, for example, or John Jr. But she knew that it was Kam.

An excited smile made a home for itself on her pretty face.

Vanessa took a moment to check her reflection in the long mirror that hung next to the door. She was dressed appropriately for the evening in a pair of jeans and a flattering white t-shirt, but couldn’t help wondering if the touch of make-up was a bit too much. Tonight wasn’t about impressing Kam, or trying to pressure him into anything that he’d made pretty clear he did not want. Vanessa, however, liked Kam a great deal and couldn’t help wanting to look nice.

Women (and sometimes, men!) wore mascara and eye shadow all of the time.

It didn’t have to mean anything.

Except, if Vanessa was going to be totally honest, it did. … There were just some things she couldn’t resist.

“Hey,” Vanessa’s greeting was warm when, after only a couple of moments, she opened the door. Kam’s expression might have caused her to hesitate, if it was any less friendly. As they were, and as delighted as she always was to see him, Vanessa closed the distance between their bodies without a second thought. She wrapped her arms around Kam; pulling him effectively into a hug. "I'm glad you could make it."

The embrace was supposed to be innocent. Vanessa only meant to say hello.

It surprised Vanessa when Kam returned neither her ‘hello,’ nor her hug. His hand was gentle where it found her shoulder, but the touch was nevertheless unsettling. There could be no mistaking the way he held her in place, or the way that he simply refused to look at her. Even Vanessa, who sometimes missed the most obvious social cues, could tell that something was wrong.

“American Psycho,” she answered him, voice calm, bright eyes flickering from Kam to the little pile of DVDs resting on top of the television. “Zombieland. There are others too.”

But Vanessa did not want to talk about that.

This night wasn’t going to be like the others. She was going to apologize for every time that he’d had to fend her off, and Kam was going to have fun. He was supposed to be feeling appreciated right now, and not gazing out at her from the depths of his hood like some temperamental grim reaper.

She crossed her arms over her chest, fixed him with her golden stare, and wondered if she’d ever found him more attractive.

Kam was brooding. Kam was distant.

And Kam was sexy as hell.

More than that, however, Kam was her friend.

Vanessa swallowed, and had to struggle to keep her voice level, “You’re upset about something.”

She’d never seen him quite like this before. It was somehow both infuriating and fascinating.

“What’s going on?”

Vanessa was not shocked.

Shocked was a gross understatement, and did not suffice to describe the tidal wave of emotions that rocked her system upon Kam’s transformation. He looked so pissed. All of that frustration and confusion wafted off of Gehenna in rays of heat that Vanessa didn’t really understand. They tugged at her heartstrings and were as exciting as they were terrifying.

She suddenly felt sick, and gripped the back of a nearby chair for balance. It felt good to do something with her hands—to know that something was real, when all of this felt like a dream. When she could not actually touch the emotions that racked at her soul.

“Gehenna.”

One word.

Actions were easier, but there was nothing for her to do. She couldn’t know what Kam was thinking, because he had not told her. But Vanessa recalled all of the moments that Vulcan and Gehenna had shared, and then the way that Kam always insisted on keeping her at arms length.

These things did not go well ********,” Vanessa cursed, voice shaking with an emotion that she could not suppress, and left him to go stand in front of the television. Very carefully, almost methodically, she pried open one of the DVD cases. It cooperated, but the disc inside wouldn’t come free, and it snapped in two under the pressure of her trembling hands. Vanessa made a little sound. The pieces fell.

When she spoke, her voice was a whisper, “are you going to make me regret this?”

It had been so long. So long since Vanessa could remember feeling this stupid, or this angry. She should have known. It was impossible, now, not to recognize the similarities between Gehenna and Kam. They were both so arrogant-- both so large, and so strong, and so passionate. In the back of her head Vulcan had always thought that Gehenna looked like Kam, but the magic of Gehenna’s glamour had blinded her to the truth.

Vanessa stood, unmoving, in front of the television; staring down at the shining surfaces of the shattered DVD, listening to his footsteps, waiting for him to say something. She could feel those dark eyes on her, and felt naked under the raw power of his stare. The hair at the back of her neck stood on end. Her heart beat so fast that she thought it would try to get away from her. Surely, Kam could hear it.

If she was going to keep her composure, Vanessa needed to remain still. She needed to focus on something other than him, and the tempestuous nature of the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. Breathing had never been so difficult.

And then Kam didn’t just speak. Kam growled, and even threw something in her home.

“Don’t you ******** dare,” Vanessa whirled on him; answering his fury with a self-righteous passion all her own. She was not shouting. Not yet. But the more she spoke, the louder she got. “Don’t you act like you know what I want.”

“You never ******** asked me, Kam,” her voice shook, and tears of rage pooled at the corners of her eyes. Vanessa was stubborn and refused to let them fall. She stepped closer, lifted her hands to his broad chest, and shoved him. “And you don’t know anything. Because if you did…”

Vanessa took a deep breath, and stared into his dark eyes with her bright ones.

“If you knew anything,” she whispered, and shoved Kam again, with less force than before, “you’d know that I want you, and that I’m not asking you to be anything other than who you are.”

Her cheeks bloomed with colour.

Remembering suddenly that he hadn’t wanted this, Vanessa pulled her hands back from where they’d smoothed over his shirt and averted her gaze. Her chest heaved with the pain of this encounter. She felt unsteady, and wondered if he was about to walk out of her life forever.

It was barely a caress. Still, the soft skin of her cheek glowed darker underneath his cautious fingertips. Vanessa was silent where she stood, and mirrored Kam’s body language by leaning, subtly, into his warmth. She did not move any closer, and could not have pulled away if she’d wanted to. His hand anchored her in place, and made coherent thought impossible.

She looked, when he bid her to look, and searched his eyes.

The tears were gone. In their place burned a soft desire, and a question. Vanessa bit her lip, and struggled to comprehend the things that he was trying to make her understand. Kam had bandaged her hands when she’d burned them. Kam had saved her from tumbling down the side of a mountain. It was he who’d discovered her bleeding and terrified after her encounter with Tanzanite, and he who’d waited by the hospital bed for her to wake up.

Vanessa could not have asked for a better friend.

And there was, as far as she was concerned, no better man.

That was the truth, as she saw it. Vanessa, wishing desperately that this didn’t have to be so difficult, brought the palms of her hands up to his chest once more. Her touch was gentle, and careful. She had promised herself at the beginning of the night that she would not try and pressure Kam, but something new hung in the balance now. She wasn’t prepared to give it up without a fight.

“I wish….” Vanessa’s voice was a murmur. She took a bold step closer, and made a soft sound. Except for their clothes and her hands between their chests, they were separated by nothing but air. “…that you could see yourself through my eyes.”

This was not the shy invitation of an inexperienced girl.

It was the deliberate seduction of a woman who understood how to get what she was after. Vanessa breathed against Kam’s lips, let her eyes flutter closed, and dared him to deny that he wanted her.

Oh, yes.

This was not their first kiss. It was not even their second. Together Vulcan and Gehenna had already explored the fire that burned between their souls. But there was something inexplicably different about this. Kissing Kam, without the protective cloaks of their powered forms, felt both exactly like and very unlike kissing Gehenna.

It was more intimate. Or something.

Vanessa’s heart fluttered. Her knees felt suddenly weak. When she pressed closer to him now it wasn’t about asking for more. It was about holding on. She gasped sweetly, excited because Kam had finally acknowledged the truth of this, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Vanessa had always had a haphazard way of expressing herself. Passionate and reckless, she resorted to the realm of the physical whenever words weren't enough. Inherent in their kiss, and Vanessa’s body language, were all of the things that she might never know how to tell him.

Kam was a very special person in her life, and Vanessa intended to keep it that way. Whatever they were doing might not have been just about sex, but it also definitely wasn’t about cornering him into a relationship, no matter the trepidations Kam might have had.

The lives they led were dangerous. There was no telling when it might all just… be over.

Their friendship was precious, but Vanessa wasn’t worried about losing that.

“Stay here tonight,” she whispered, pulling away briefly for air, and opened her lips to his for a deeper kiss.