As always nicely done. What I think would be cool would be to write a second stanza and write something optimistic, kinda to contrast what this says. Because it somehow feels unfinished, like you've led you reader on and theirs no conclusion or something to that effect...
Illiandra
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iluvwritin
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Posted: Sat Feb 18, 2006 8:21 am
Illiandra
As always nicely done. What I think would be cool would be to write a second stanza and write something optimistic, kinda to contrast what this says. Because it somehow feels unfinished, like you've led you reader on and theirs no conclusion or something to that effect...
Hmm... now that I reread it, you are absolutely correct! I wish I would have thought of that though when I had written it, because I think i've mentioned this before, but I absolutely suck at going back and fixing poems lol... And besides I really felt this at the time that I wrote this, so I didn't really have the bright-side on my mind lol... well thankies for another great comment! and even though I probably won't add anymore to this one, i'll make sure that i completely finish my next pieces!
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