Her days were getting shorter and shorter, and with them, came an unsettling feeling. She'd had to help the pride hunt, but only went at night when no one would get a good look at her. Jamila was still not ready to come out of the temple for longer than she had to, and she made no social visits. Red eyes were sad when she saw one of her siblings pass, or her nieces and nephews, or her cousins. She missed being apart of something big like that, but she knew her life was meant for the temple. If it wasn't, why would her past have happened the way it did? Clearly the gods had some bigger plan for Jamila. They wouldn't make her suffer for no reason, so surly some good had to come of this horrible situation. That's what she kept telling herself day after day of prayers and hunting, singing and trying to stay invisible in the shadows.Not only did she have more scars than any pride member should, she'd recently lost contact with her best friend, with the one she really wanted to be with. Ezio seemed to have completely disappered from the pride, and nothing she did worked. She tried praying to every god she could think of for a sign that he was alive, and so far, they've all been unanswered. The pink and white female moved through the temple ruins swiftly and silently. She was nearly late for the singing prayers today.
A nightmare came to her of what her uncle Roth had done to her. However, unlike most nightmares she's had, Jamila couldn't seem to pull herself out of it, or even change it into something else. She knew it wasn't a memory, because she was as she is now, in her dream. Her ears pinned back as she joined up with the others and started on the verse they were on. She was singing automatically now, her mind filled with questions and worries.
Why did she feel, in the back of her mind, that she deserved all the unhappiness in her life? She hadn't done anything horrible to anyone. Mato, her father, had told her she had been a very good cub from the start; hardly crying, always staying close to mother. So why did she wander out of the pride when she did? It was like something compeled her to do it. Honestly, she didn't want too, but there was something singing in her blood at the moment, clouding her mind like the mists she saw in her dreams.
Giggling pulled her from her thoughts and she turned her head to spot a couple of cubs not singing with the rest of them. Flicking her tail to get their attention, she gave them a look and the two, wide eyed, straightened up and started singing with everyone else. However, they didn't look toward the font of the temple. They stared at her scared face like all the other cubs she'd seen did. Her ears pinned back as she turned her face front and tried to ignore the feeling of those cubs staring at all of her scars, no doubt making fun of her. Cubs found her scars ugly and asked why she got them. When Jamila didn't answer, the cubs got upset, and when cubs get upset, they yell horrible things at the lion they were questioning.
Somehow, though, Jamila managed to forget about the cubs and focus her thoughts back on the day she left the comforts of the pride. There was something outside of this pride that wanted her. It didn't feel dark, but with everything that's happened to her, she wasn't so sure it wasn't evil. She feared it would draw her into something that would hurt her even more than she had been when her uncle scared her like this. Yet, there was a part of her that wanted to find out what was happening.
Was she evil? If her uncle had turned into that dark creature, and the rest of her family wasn't dark. Could she be a black sheep like he was? Or did she just subconsciously crave more punishment for something she'd possibly done in another life time? Maybe this was her punishment, this mental torment of the unknown.
The obvious solution to this would be to ask someone else to come with her, to figure out what was calling her outside of the pride. If it were evil, however, she couldn't risk someone getting hurt because of her own selfish desires. Jamila knew she shouldn't be focusing this much on a dream, but she couldn't help it.
After the songs were over, Jamila hastily made her way back to her personal room within the temple before someone could spot her and talk with her. It didn't take long for Jamila to learn that when the prayers let up, the lions liked to socilize and talk to the scribes and priests. It made her uncomfortable to see the stares she got and the whispers she could hear. Everyone knew her as the scared female who was only out for her duties. Most called her a cold lioness who's heart couldn't be warmed up, but that was the furthest from the truth. Jamila had a bleeding heart for others. She listened to their prayers and added them to her own. She had her specific duties as a Scribe, but at the same time, Jamila couldn't help but do as much as she could in the temple.
Looking into her room, she saw how empty it was and it pained her. She longed for a companion. No, not just any companion, she wanted Ezio with her. He was the only lion Jamila ever felt comfortable talking to. And yet, she realized she would probably never see him again. Tears filled her eyes as she moved over to her 'bed' and curled up on it. Those tears would fall down her cheeks without shame. Like she did most nights, Jamila would cry for a while before finally opening herself up to sleep. She just hoped she didn't have the same nightmare again.
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