Saxgrrrl
what? no poking! *pouts*
*thinks about how to catfight*
Depends on a person. For example while fighting with You I would never use certain adjectives, because I know how touchy You're about them, and though this is not something generally considered cruel it would be so in Your case.
Anything is fine as long as afterwards You can forget it and go for a bee... *remembers about PG13* tea or two with Your oponent.
With Comica absolutely everything (punching, and breaking bones included) is fine as long as You won't drag other people into it - so things like slandering her family or friends would make her seriously mad and hurt - yet it seems they are totally OK for some other people here.
In a Cat fight the basic rule is "You give just a little bit more than what You get" and when You see that oponent stopped feeling comfortable it's time to back off a little.