Bondagesecks
I used the word like because i don't use the word "love". I really don't want to get too far with the details with people i hardly know on the internet.
Ah ok, that's fine. Thank you for clarifying it further. Though I'd like to think that saying "love" instead of "like" isn't a huge detail.
What I meant to say in one of my earlier posts is, if you're thinking of having sex, there's still a bunch of things you need to consider
BEFORE having sex. If you're old enough to be sleeping with someone, then you're old enough to deal with any potential risks and consequences, regardless of your age. They include:
- Both of you getting tested for STD's and STI's, especially if neither one of you is a virgin.
- Talking to your partner about what you two will do if you have an unplanned pregnancy. This includes deciding whether or not to get an abortion, to keep the child, or give it up for adoption. Other things which need to be included in the talk are things like finances (for an abortion, or keeping the child), education (keeping the child), getting a job with what education you'd have (keeping the child), and levels of family support.
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Do your research. Research the different methods of birth control, and which one is best for you. Find out what the side-effects are, what risks come with them, etc. Find out how much it's going to cost, and how much doctor's visits are going to cost. Know where to go if you need to get the morning-after pill. Know what its risks and side-effects are. Know where to go to get condoms. Educate yourself about abortion and the different types of adoptions, in case you ever need that information. And so on and so on.
- Birth control - which method is best for you, how you're going to get it, and how you're going to pay for it. Will it be covered by your parents' insurance? Will your partner help pay for it? What method will you use besides condoms? (You can still get pregnant even with 2 methods, but 2 methods instead of just 1 decreases the odds)
- Considerng the impact sex will/could have on your relationship. What if things turn awkward after you sleep together? What if he just wanted to be in a relationship with you so he could have sex with you? What if he doesn't like you as much as you thought he did? What if you don't like him as much as you thought you did?
- Most doctors will require that you see a gynocologist and get a pap smear, breast exam and pelvic exam (a physical) before they will write you a prescription for birth control methods such as the Pill, the Patch, and Depo. So then some things to consider for this issue are booking the appointment, paying for it if necessary (I don't know how healthcare works in your area, sorry). If you're over a certain age (again, I don't know what the rules are in your area), then you can ask that they not tell your parents.
- Which brings us to the next issue: Whether or not to tell your parents. I would really recommend doing it, because I've been keeping it from my parents for over 2 years, and it's been pretty hard. Well, while I was living at home it was pretty hard. To sneak around behind one's parents also puts a certain amount of strain on a relationship, because it can be hard work to keep such a big secret from one's parents.
Pros of telling:
- They can help pay for your birth control.
- They might be impressed that you're being so responsible.
- They might be glad that you were honest with them and told them.
- They might be supportive.
Cons of telling:
- They might flip out.
- They might "ban" you from seeing your partner, until you're the age of a legal adult (18?).
~
There's more of course, but those are some of the main issues. You're 17, so that's old enough to be taking responsibility of yourself and your body if you're going to be sexually active. Talk to your partner, so he starts playing an active role in these issues too.
Also, keep some things in mind. If your parents might freak out and take you being sexually active poorly, then maybe it'd be better to wait until you don't live at home. If you or your boyfriend can't afford PROPER birth control, then maybe it'd be better to wait until you could. If you can't afford to get an abortion or raise a child at this point in your life, maybe it'd be better to wait. A lot of people will also tell you that if you have to sneak around the house to have sex behind your parents' backs, you should hold off from having sex and wait until you both have enough time and privacy to be intimate, without having to worry about other people finding out.
Be mature, and be responsible, or don't have sex at all. A lot of teenagers, even older ones, aren't ready to deal with this sort of responsibility at their age. So just because you were asked to have sex, or just because other people are having sex, doesn't mean you have to too.
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