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Homestuck inspired troll related b/c 

Tags: homestuck, troll, breedables, mspa, alternia 

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Elegan Pralia ~ Blue Blood [Accepted!]

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Getsurae

PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:51 pm


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Name: Elegan Pralia

Eleganti- Graceful in latin
Praelia – fighter in latin

Blood colour: User Image 003366

Gender: Female

Symbol: Ѻ

Personality:

Elegan is quiet, and fairly reserved. She usually prefers to be by herself, either playing her guitar, reading books on mythology or practicing her sword or whip play. This doesn't mean that she is anti-social; she just doesn't want to be caught up in other people’s drama. If she had friends, she'd probably go out for karaoke and coffee, but she has a very hard time trusting people. On top of this, she has a hard time making friends as she is usually quite blunt and serious. Elegan is careful when she lets others in, knowing that the chances of betrayal are high. She would be devastated to lose a close friend, so in her mind limiting her exposure to people lessens her chances of getting hurt.

For Ele, her studies are quite important. She believes that being smart and prepared; you can get a jump on a lot of situations. Also by doing her best she can show everyone what true focus can do. Ele believes that many things are lacking in this world, especially loyalty. She is so disappointed when she sees people betray others, especially when the other person never faltered. She always does her best to show her loyalty to whoever has earned it, knowing that is a rare thing in her world.

Once Elegan has formed a bond with someone, she will never break it. She will fight with everything she has to preserve it. The only way a bond could ever be broken is if the other person betrayed her, at which point they’d be very sorry. Once Elegan finds a cause she will not waver from it. She will do whatever it takes to further a goal/plan, including sacrificing herself.

Something that does not bother her is other troll’s blood colors. She thinks it’s ridiculous to judge other by the circumstances they were born into. She thinks that tolls develop who into whom they are as they grow, and that’s who you become friends or enemies with. However, she is very prideful of her own blood. While being born with high purple blood would have been ideal, she does not find her place in life to be upsetting. She does enjoy taking advantage of what her blood offers, as it would be wasteful not to. After all, her social standing could always come in handy when she least expects it.



A positive and a negative for Elegan is that she is a perfectionist. If something is not perfect, and goes wrong because someone else ruined it, she will not hesitate to do something about it. A plan is a plan, and once it is set, there is no changing it. This is about the only time you would see her lose control of her calm, is if a plan has gone so wrong she can no longer fix it. In her eyes, if it is absolutely dire that the plan must be changed, she is the only one that can do it. However, even if it is because on someone she loves, it will still cause her to go into a rage and become cross with that person for a good amount of time.

While she doesn't hold everyone to the same standard of perfection as she holds herself, she believes they should all strive to someday reach her level. She believes if everyone did this, the world would be a better place. This includes being fashionable, for part of perfection is ones appearance. This does not mean you have to be beautiful, but you can always look your best no matter what it is you are doing.

Strengths:

Loyal - Elegan wants to prove that true loyalty will go a long way, and make you closer to that person in the end. She feels like even if it may be hard to keep that bond in extreme times, it must be done to be an example to others. This is more of something she hopes she will be able to do, but Ele won’t know until the occasion actually arises.
She decided long ago that it was best to form these bonds with good people, as they were less likely to betray and abandon. Their goals are also usually pure and true, which is something she tries her best to be.

Elegan will barely ever show any discrepancies in her loyalty to others. For the most part, once someone has reached the point to gain that bond, it does not grow or decrease. They have become her equal, whether it is one person, or a group.

Graceful – Elegan moves in a very smooth, elegant, and fluid manner at all times. This is most noticeable when she is fighting. She was inspired by how her Lusus moved, so she decided to do her best to replicate it. She trains every day, especially with dance. She finds dance is the best way to execute the fluidity necessary to move with perfect grace. This was also why she specializes in the type of weapon that she does. She finds it to be the perfect balance of deadly and elegant.

Smart – While she is naturally very bright, through vigilante studying of her culture and world, Elegan has only sharpened her knowledge. She has pushed herself very hard to always be learning and pushing her intellect. Ele tries her best to make it to any nearby event that would highlight troll culture, whether it’s a festival, play, tournament, or concert. She enjoys studying all subjects, but her favorites are art and history. Her favorite places for learning are by far museums and libraries. It does make her seem nerdy, but she can’t help but love the feeling she gets when she is in one.

Prepared - One thing Ele loves to do is plan. Whether is a dinner party or a battle royal for someone, she is up to any challenge. For Elegan, every detail is considered. Weather patterns, the allotted time a certain task should take, even the angle the wind is blowing. She goes to all lengths to make sure she has every bit of knowledge that could be needed for the current plan. Nothing is taboo to further the plan, and she will use any means necessary to complete her plan. Should someone she cares about get in the way of this she will become incredibly conflicted, and will weigh the pros and cons of the plan. However, if the plan would lead to her being unforgiven by those close to her, she would either completely change the said plan or not go through with it all together. She will not risk losing any bonds for anything. However, if Ele was ever betrayed to the point where she could not forgive the other person, she would turn extremely vengeful and remorseless. If someone gets in her way during her revenge, she will not show mercy to them. This especially goes for people who have been unloyal, as she finds them disgusting and unworthy. If she hurts someone who has done this, she rarely feels guilt from it. The only time she would feel truly guilty is if she later found out that person was completely innocent.

Flaws:

Short tempered– Elegan tries her best to keep this in check, but under certain circumstances it’s nearly impossible. A good example is if someone says something she finds incredibly stupid. She tends to snap at things like that the most. She will lash out with anything between a stern yelling, to a sword to the throat. Once she is in one of those modes, she knows that it is the safest thing for everyone for her to calm down. She will often take a couple deep breaths and recite lines from her favorite literature. However, if she can’t calm down, its best just to leave her be until she naturally lets the anger go.

Remorseless – If Ele hurts someone, she will not feel guilty. That is if they mean nothing to her, and chances are she will be fairly brutal about it. Hurting someone who deserves it is like a sweet justice to her. She will hurt them in any way that she feels will do the most damage. She does not have a favorite method, and will use all of her skills to her advantage. She will only waver from her path of destruction if it is someone she truly cares for, and even then if they were involved they may not be able to escape it. She will only feel guilty if she later learns that the troll she went after was innocent. The amount of guilt itself would depend on what she did, and she would beg for forgiveness from the one she hurt. If she killed them, she would probably be traumatized and would have to find some way to cope.

Blunt – Ele cannot help but be completely blunt and honest when she interacts with others. She was never taught to filter anything, and because of this she sees nothing wrong with it. Occasionally she will clue in when she hurts a loved one, but it’s not very often. It takes her hurting someone a couple of times before she puts a slight filter on herself. It’s not in her nature to hide what she thinks, so it is extremely difficult for her to not speak her mind. She is glad that she only makes these exceptions for those closest to her, as she does not like to harm them.

Distrusting – She has trust issues, and while it isn’t impossible to get to know her it is difficult. She won’t start trusting someone until she becomes comfortable with them, and only then will she open up. She is fairly suspicious of those who seem eager to gain her favor, and tends to get annoyed with them rather quick. After all, she does live in a manipulative society that is filled with unsavory characters. If she gets a good feeling from another troll she is more likely to get to know them faster, but that rarely happens. There is no perfect variable to become her friend, as everyone is different.



Weapon: Rapier Whip Sword [like ivy's from soul calibre, but a rapier not a broad sword]

Appearance: Long wispy hair, possibly a black corset halter top? Black ruffle skirt, patterned tights [either of the ones on the ends], and some variation of these shoes. Her wardrobe is all black, but has a little bit of white and blood color accents.

Horns: this is what they look like, and they rest flat against the top of her head like this

Home: lakeside

Lusus: Snow Leozelle. Elegan is very close to her lusus. It was the beauty and grace of her lusus that inspired her at a very young age to strive to be at least a little bit like her. Well, as much as a troll can be like its caretaker. Ele loves to curl up with her lusus’ long fluffy tail, as she finds it very comforting.
Power: optional. see power section above for more information.
PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:58 pm



i'd love peoples opinion on her blood color out of the three up top, or possibly suggest a new one that might suit her better?

Getsurae


Getsurae

PostPosted: Tue Nov 22, 2011 11:59 pm



and one more just in case
PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:18 am


I like 003366 out of the three.

By the way, small thing, but I think remorseless and guiltless might be too similar to count as two different flaws.

Soldier of Song

Bear


Getsurae

PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:19 am



thanks! I wasn't sure, so i'll find another one =D
PostPosted: Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:31 am


I like 003366~

RawringKiwi

Space Gekko


Inkvore

Dangerous Member

PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 9:42 am


Tell us how she and her Lusus interact, and perhaps how she views being a blue blood. Does she act all high-and-mighty? Does she treat it like its irrelevant? Is she willing to befriend lowbloods? And so on.


I might doodle this girlie when I've got a free moment. She's got an adorable outfit. Speaking of which, she's fashionable? Fashion is stupid.
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 8:21 pm


Ever noticed how impossible guitars are to draw? I have.
xXx

Das guten? :V LOLOLOLOOOoooll eyebrows

Inkvore

Dangerous Member


Getsurae

PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:04 pm


Cypran
Ever noticed how impossible guitars are to draw? I have.
xXx

Das guten? :V LOLOLOLOOOoooll eyebrows




oh wow! thank you~! she would probably play something more electric, but she has no pref XD

i am also working on adding your critique to her profile now!
PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:26 pm


Oh pleazzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeee

Acoustic was hard enough /derp

Inkvore

Dangerous Member


Getsurae

PostPosted: Thu Nov 24, 2011 11:37 pm


Cypran
Oh pleazzzzzzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeee

Acoustic was hard enough /derp




and i just edited in the issues you addressed in your crit^^
PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 8:18 am


CRIT TIME!!!

Ok just taking a few bits from your quest and although she sounds great there are a few plot holes that need to be patched up before she can be accepted!!

[Loyalty vs Not letting people close vs Forming a bond forever] - I think you should tone this bit down slightly. Make it so that she makes friends and is loyal but than once she has been hurt by said person she will be withdrawn/unfriendly until they make up again (unless its an unforgivable act!) but in the end she comes back to them because she is so loyal (Having a little time to herself is not a bad thing, it will give her time to plan the friendship and plan an apology/or plan how to get one!). Having her from the word go to not want to trust other trolls seems to me that she will have a hard time making friends in the first place! Because as you've put; She would never be able to handle losing a close friend, so in her mind limiting her exposure to people lessens her chances of getting hurt. means that she wouldn't want to put herself in that position of possibly losing someone!

Also trolls have a little experience already being 'abandoned' - never knowing their parents, older trolls going to join the army, trolls getting culled!! So she should have a hard skin regarding losing someone already (of course she can still hate it though!!!)


Quite, Reserved and Calm vs Vengeful, Remorseless and Merciless
I think for such a large change to happen to her (calm to mental) needs to have a fairly large catalyst to work. She comes across as a very calculating, thoughtful person and if she plans everything to a tee if someone then spoils something for her I can see her thinking about it first, weighing up the pros and cons off ripping that trolls head off and instead telling that troll where they went wrong/what they did in a calm and composed manner. I cant see her go mental right away!

If you would prefer her to be crazy/crazy like that then fine but a bit more back story/explanation will need to be added. Or if you do want to change it so going mental is the ultimate last resort for her I would love to see what would really tick her off to get that result.

Overall summary

The above was me really nit picking your quest, I think she will make a good addition to the troll community, especially for the future (I can see her making a great commander in the Army!) I will leave it up to you to change a few bits and if no one else comments I will be happy to approve this quest in the near future <3

matisha

Business Vampire


amicableAggressor
Vice Captain

Versatile Vermin

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 4:50 pm


/reading through
i'd like to see you give it a last check through and see if it can be cut down and merged in parts, as you're repeating yourself in a few places such as

"Ele believes that many things are lacking in this world, especially loyalty."
"Elegan feels as though there isn't enough loyalty in the world."


i see a discrepancy between
"The only way a bond could ever be broken is if the other person betrayed her, at which point they’d be very sorry. "
and
"She feels like even if it may be hard to keep that bond in extreme times, it must be done to be an example to others. "

extreme times seems to encompass betrayal by the other party, which is what you also said will cause her to break away from another troll. maybe the second one is an idealistic stance she takes and hopes to be able to follow through with one day, but is tested by her anger issues?

strengths and flaws need to have some flavr text explaining them, see the other applications for example. if possible, you can cut the parts needed out of her personality blurb and put them beside their relative sections. :>
(planning stuff can be put under prepared, etc)

again, with blood colour, what does 'prideful' entail, it seems to go against what was said a sentence before about her not caring about the hemospectrum.
PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 9:06 pm


homina homina, almost there, just need to expand on the shorter stuff. here are some questions to think about, i hope they help you flesh them out a little!

graceful - is this a conscious thing for her? does she practice, or train her body to hold herself this way, or is it merely natural grace. does she get embarrassed or angry if made to look ungraceful? (shoved by another troll, have mud thrown at her, etc) it's interesting how she's physically graceful yet verbally and socially awkward and blunt.

smart - i would reword this to studious, or book-smart. smart usually suggests being naturally bright and quick-witted, while the way you've written it seems she is more of a serious, diligent learner who has taught herself all she knows. also, what in particular is she interested in learning and teaching herself? for culture, does she go to troll operas, plays and concerts to immerse herself fully in it? or does she prefer to stay home and read about it in a book?

anger issues - what exactly does she do when she snaps? does the offending troll get a sharp word, or a slap, or a sharp edge against their neck? does she try any calming techniques, such as counting to ten, and are there any warning signs? i would also reword this as short-tempered, as anger issues is more of a broad term for any destructive behaviour stemming from anger, and can also include self-harm.

remorseless - you had something about her hurting people then feeling guilty after if she realized they didn't deserve it, does that still remain, or does she make up justifications to herself afterwards to put the blame on them? what if she causes someone to be hurt by her actions, or by her speech rather than straight up physical violence?

blunt - if she does realize she's hurt another troll through speech, does she try and avoid that subject or censor herself after? or does she plow right on like 'i dont see why your so sensitive about being completely useless and rather dumb, it's who you are and it's not like you can change it', pushing it farther and make it worse?

distrusting - how does she justify her distrust of other trolls? does she doubt trolls who are overly friendly, and suspect them of trying to manipulate her? if someone pushes to become close to her while she still doesn't trust them, is that one of the ways to trigger her temper? how would she begin to warm to another troll, through time, or maybe they have to prove to her that they care in some large gesture?

WORKIN HARD TO MAKE A AWESOME TROLL >:3
if you can get the stuff i mentioned above to have about as much writing in them as her loyal strength, she should be stamped after this!

amicableAggressor
Vice Captain

Versatile Vermin


Hivestuck
Captain

Alien Datemate

PostPosted: Thu Dec 01, 2011 10:25 pm


well she's looking good! a few more things to work on - oh god what's that coming out of the sky gonk

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