It was one thing to watch all of her teammates spar in that tournament. Many of them hadn't even made it to the second round, and the ones that did were not meant to last much longer. The tomboy couldn't help but feel that if she or Parthenope had participated, the outcomes would have been a bit different.

However, winning was not the goal of that little event.

Now, the blonde was in her room, actually using her desk for the intended purpose for once. Towards the edge of the flat surface were two objects that didn't really seem to fit. One was a plastic bottle that had a very dark, almost black colored sand in it. The other was the jagged shard of a mirror. Her mom and her dad rarely came into her room, so in all honesty nobody had really questioned what they were. Yet, Ellie knew they were pieces of her past as Sailor Iris. Aside from the odd assortment of decorations, she had several index cards sprawled out and a black pen laid out on top of one. At times the girl would pick up the pen and fuss with it, playing with it between her fingers, but eventually the pen got put back down as she seemed to struggle with figuring out what was going to be the first thing she'd write. Eventually, a thought seemed to stray to her mind, pushing itself brashly to her ears, demanding to be heard.

"I heard you were out patrolling alone again and you got bamboozled by a captain and shoved off a roof you petulant dipsh*t, that's what I heard."

With a frown, the blonde's brow seemed to droop into a straight line. "...alright... apparently ya wanna be first, baker-chick..." Grasping the pen in her hand, she awkwardly scrawled out the name Eunomia upon the card. It sucked having only one hand to use when writing.

The blue haired girl was essentially an amazon like herself, being about the same height as Ellie. The tomboy wasn't going to claim she knew the other girl too well as an individual. All the tomboy knew was that Evie liked to argue with Ellie.

A lot.

"Seriously, still think you're above the rules? I told you so."

Unfortunately, as that girl's words managed to hit her memory again, Ellie couldn't help but wonder if there was an actual legitimate basis to their arguments. Maybe there was, but maybe there wasn't. Awkwardly, the girl managed to write out her observations from the gladiator tournament and the battle with that swarm of youma.

Eunomia - Needs work on dodging/reaction time, stronger punches than kicks. Building up a better defense is a must. Needs to use her size to her advantage in the future.

With this card complete, she set it to the side and pulled up a new one. At least seven more cards waiting to be filled in, so she slid another card forward. It made sense to work on her teammates who had actually participated in the Gladiator tournament first, since those fights were short enough. Both Metis and Parthenope had done a bit more training with Sailor Iris, so the girl knew how they worked normally. It was these other teammates that she usually did not get to see in action. One girl stood out to her as the one necessary to be written next, merely because she had managed to get past her first round fight.

In all honesty, she would have thought Eunomia would have made it through one round. Yet, it wasn't that blue haired witch. No, it was the purple haired child.

"...do you have so little faith in anyone's abilities but your own that you can't trust me in a fight?" The words Lydia had said to her came back all too easily.

"...maybe I did underestimate 'er..." She had made it to the second round and showed a decent ability to defend herself. Irene still had issues with offensive, and Ellie noticed the obvious problem with the high heel shoes too. It was something she could sympathize with, despite the fact the heels on her own boots were shorter.

With the pen in her hand, she once more set to scrawling out what she had observed. Of course, it left her mind to wander slightly, causing Lydia's criticisms to whisper in her ears again.

"It's not okay, actually. You might be okay with what happened to you- though I doubt it- but I'm not. Do you have any idea how thoughtless that was?"

"I never claimed t'think..." Ellie said in her own defense.

Lydia's response in her ears was fast. "...But not thinking isn't the answer either! Not thinking about the consequences, or the bad guys, or...Or about us. Did you even think about the rest of us that night? Did we even enter your mind?"

Ellie had answered that question before and didn't need to answer it again. Instead, she finished writing what she saw in Irene on a simple card.

Irene - Needs to work on balance/fighting with those heels on. Good at improvising and dodging. Seems flexible. Needs continued work with dodging and work on improving defenses.

Immediately after setting the second card down in a less than neat manner over the first card, she heard a bratty voice repeating an insult from before. "You are so stupid and you think we are stupid but you... you are really stupid." It was a child's insult, which made sense since the insult belonged to the elder of the chibi senshi on the team.

"I guess that means that Egeria is next..."

The child had been paired up with a Super Senshi during the tournament. From what Ellie had observed in the past, the Chibi Senshi were the weakest of the weak. The pairing seemed awkwardly mismatched, but the tomboy had not been against it. If everything were easier for the kids, then they'd never learn.

Even given such an obstacle, the Chibi Senshi had managed to get in a few good hits. She didn't hesitate, nor did she expect anybody to do the fighting for her. The child stood her ground and fought seriously, even when the Super Senshi seemed to belittle her. Ellie hadn't really bothered to learn much about who Lissy was as a person, but even watching a small amount of that spar only seemed to remind her of herself as a kid. Eventually, the pen stopped moving as the blonde's golden eyes glanced over the words she wrote down on the card.

Egeria - Seems able to use her size to her advantage. Has a pretty good headbutt. Needs continued work on defense with slight work on offense as well.

While setting down the one kid's card, the voice of the other kid came to mind, almost complimenting the sentiments Lissy had. "No wonder Lissy is calling you stupid, 'cause you are!" Ellie wasn't about to argue with that assessment. She was stupid, she had known she was stupid for a long time. She was the girl who had to work to keep her grades reasonably average. Hard work was a good substitute for intelligence in the tomboy's opinion.

When had she forgotten that philosophy?

Moving the new card for Hygiea awkwardly under her hand as she attempted to write, she remembered the spar the child had been in at the tournament. She seemed very inexperienced, but the biggest issue was how easily the child got distracted. It made Ellie wonder if she were to try pointing somewhere and shouting "LOOK, AN OBVIOUS DISTRACTION!" if Ridley would turn and look. Under her breath she managed a half chuckle.

As if the child couldn't handle the slight mental insult, her voice seemed to shout in her ears "You made such a big deal with them being your stupid rules and you ended up breaking them!" The spot where the child had attempted to punch seemed to tingle very faintly at remembering those words.

"...I made'em for you guys..." she quietly groaned, though nobody would hear her words. It was so easy for her to see, but it seemed as if nobody else could understand such things. The blonde shook her head slightly as she finished up the last words written on the youngest teammate's card.

Hygiea - Quick reflexes, but easily distracted. Needs continued work on improving her offensive. Needs to use her size to her advantage in the future.

Having finished writing up Hygiea's card, it got set down on the other completed cards. There was a momentary pause as the tomboy then debated over what she'd do next. It felt weird even considering a card for this teammate. It almost felt pointless, but the truth of the matter was that this teammate had participated in the Gladiator Tournament as well. With a large heavy sigh, she wrote out the next name.

********* was strange watching the cat do something for an extended period of time in that other form of hers. She also had seemed generally disinterested in acting aggressive in the fights she had been in. Just watching, it felt like she was watching someone playing rather than fighting. It wasn't surprising. ********* had always seemed like the sort who would rather play than fight. She was almost a polar opposite of Sailor Iris at times.

"I know what you were trying to do. You were trying to prove that you are capable. It's always been that way with you. You need to show the world that Sailor Iris is able to handle herself. It's like when you try to show the world that Ellie Spectre is a bad a**. She can take care of herself and do things for herself. She doesn't ask for help, or is too stubborn to ask for it." The cat had told her this, and the more she thought about it, she couldn't help but realize that it was 100% true.

Part way through writing the card for the cat, the blonde had to pause and ruffle her own hair slightly. "Gaaaaahhhh... why th'hell am I even worryin' about any of this? God damnit brain... stop makin' me remember this sort'a crap!"

Unfortunately, her brain wasn't going to just shut off so easily. Some more words the cat had told her came back to touch her ears for a moment.

"If you feel all of these things... do you think your other teammates might feel some of the same things as you? You know you do not always have to be the one protecting them. You do not always need to be a soloist. A soloist can be a strong act on their own... but put them into the right team of performers, and they can achieve more amazing things than one could ever imagine possible!"

In a tone that seemed on the edge of being swayed, the tomboy asked to the empty room "...but am I really meant t'be somethin' more than a soloist?"

Her memory replied in the voice of the cat. "...It takes a very strong person to realize they need the help of others..."

Pressing her lips together slightly, she finished writing the rest of the cat's card in silence.

*********> - Executes excellent delay tactics building off of what she has available to herself at the time. Quite good at improvising and dodging. Uncertain about her offensive work since she did not seem to be taking the exercise seriously.

That left two more teammates to write about though there were more blank cards still on the desk. Both of these teammates were unable to participate in the Gladiator Tournament. However, both Metis and Parthenope had been on the team before any of the others. As Sailor Iris, she had been able to train with both of them. She decided to work on the card for the girl who had been on the same team as her, longer than any others. ********* had actually found Iris and Metis at the same time while they had been training.

It had been a while since the tomboy had seen the blind girl. However, it was almost like Lil had seen all of this coming down the line. Especially when older words from a lunch time gathering from prior to the accident came to mind.

"You were the first senshi I met. I was grateful for our meeting then, and still am. I would like to say we are friends, even... But you are reckless. I have no doubt in my mind it will come around to hurt you... even more than it already has. And that scares me. I trusted you to help me, when we first met, because I believed that all senshi had a duty to not only fight the youma, but help one another in this crisis. When ********* told us we were a team... call me naive, but it... seemed very fitting to me. I looked up to you, Ellie. Your bold nature, your confidence, your strength. Even before we were asked to cast our votes for who would become the captain... in my mind it was already you. I met you first, then ********* was baffling to Ellie how one girl could have so much faith in her. Even with a full explanation as to the blind girl's thought process, it was difficult for the blonde to understand her perspective.

I'm just a blockhead... how can someone believe in a blockhead?

"You said a leader needs wisdom, I said a leader needs experience - I've often heard the latter brings the former, but then I hear you've broken rules you yourself laid down, and... I must wonder."

"...she should wonder..." the girl uttered as she began to write down her assessments for the blind girl. Lil was just ridiculously nice. Lots of her teammates were in all honesty. Even back then, it seemed as if that blind girl's main concern was if anything happened to Ellie.

"I must look like a fool to you rambling on like this, and I apologize. But goodness, Ellie. Please. Just... think of what it would mean to others if something, God forbid, should happen to you out there."

Lil was probably furious with her, though the blonde hadn't been exposed to the rage yet due to the girl being out of town. Ellie was thankful for such a small blessing. The tomboy picked up the card she had just written out and looked it over.

Metis - Needs continued work on increased offense. Decent with defense on the dodging/reaction time, but needs to be able to take a hit better.

The blonde knew that the blind senshi's card would probably always read this way in some manner. Her blindness would always be an obstacle, no matter how much any of them tried to work around it. If anything, Metis had Ellie's eternal respect just for always trying.

Metis' card was set with the rest and a new blank card was pulled up. That meant the only person left to write about was Parthenope. She had sparred with this teammate (this boy) on a few occasions while he was helping her train to figure out her Rainbow Revenge. He would have been perfectly able to make it to the Gladiator Tournament. In fact, he had been there.

He had also punched somebody before the tournament had even started because they had simply shoved him slightly while waiting to see the match ups. If he hadn't gotten in trouble prior to the tournament, he would have probably whipped through the contest easily. He was a very capable fighter, even as a mere senshi.

If there was someone who would have agreed with how Ellie was doing things, it had to be Waylon. Right?

"You can' let yourself get off easy for things you'd get angry at us for. If it were me wit a broken arm, you'd be yellin' and screamin' too. Jus' remember that we elected you as a leader because we thought you could do it. Don' make me look stupid for stickin' by you all this time..."

No, he had sided with Evie. She paused and scratched her forehead with the bottom of the pen. It sucked. The blonde then settled in to finish writing the card for her only male teammate.

Parthenope - One of the stronger fighters on the team. Excellent work with offense and defense. Stronger kicks than punches, but overall both are strong. Excellent dodging/reaction time, but needs some work on keeping his cool in a fight.

There was a slight pause before she added a final note to the card.

Potential combat trainer.

The team captain set Parthenope's card down and sighed heavily. She did not feel like a captain at the moment. Just like a big d**k. It probably had something to do with all of the criticisms she was remembering. Had she really been that horrible up to this point? Sure, she wasn't going to claim to be the best leader, but it was only now starting to settle in her mind how badly she had messed up. Hell, the cast that was immobilizing her left arm and shoulder was evidence enough.

Gold eyes eventually glanced to her desk again, noting how there were two stray blank cards still out. She easily pulled one of them out and wrote out the name of her missing teammate. Victoria. Ellie had no idea who the hell this girl would be or what she'd be like. However, she'd eventually need a card when she was found. Why not make it now? Since that was all she could write up for the missing teammate, the card got put in the finished pile. Which left one blank card there to sit in front of the tomboy.

The girl closed her eyes for a moment and leaned back against her chair as best as she could manage in that bulky cast of hers. "...god... I'm such a f*ck up..."

At that point, the words of Sailor Castor hit her. "Sometimes we senshi like to think we’re stronger, better than everyone else. We get arrogant, and then we put not just ourselves but everyone who depends on us at risk. Many of us don’t have the experience of having our deaths mere seconds away and surviving." As much as she hated to admit it, that a*****e was right.

"...I'm alive..." Her eyes popped open and turned towards the final card on her desk. "...and I'm gonna make a change..." She pulled the card closer and grabbed the pen. Everything she had done to this point had not worked out for her so far. Now it meant she needed to try something different. With that, she wrote out a card for herself.

Iris - A competent fighter with stronger punches than kicks. Needs work on thinking her actions through. Smack her across the side of the head if she is patrolling by herself or rushing into a fight without any backup.

Perhaps the worst thing about this whole ordeal was the fact somewhere inside, Ellie knew she'd be making copies of these cards for the other teammates to see. Which meant she was definitely giving her teammates permission to abuse her in some sense or another. However, now that the girl had written it down, she knew what her goals were. It was like her annual tradition with her family on New Year's Day. Her goals and resolutions were written down, and now, all Ellie had to do was make it all come true.