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 Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 10:09 pm
UPDATE MARCH 4, 2014
I've revised him. Crit away at his revisions!
Hydrus: ;-; I just want to be left to my tea....
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 10:17 pm
 Name: Drake Ness
Nickname: Dray
Age: 19
Birthday: November 3
Sign: Scorpio
Gemstone: Beryl
Blood Type: A-
Fav. Food: Pot stickers, ramen, and rice
Hated Food: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
School: Destiny City University
Hobbies:
Tea: If it can be brewed in a teapot, Drake as probably tried it or knows how to brew it. He acquired his taste for tea from his mother, who is an advocate of natural caffeine and avoiding coffee like the plague. She started him at a relatively early age drinking tea, and it blossomed into something he does all the time. He always has a portable mug of tea during classes, he has a stove top tea pot that he brews loose leaf and tea bags in, and he will almost force you, in his kind way, to drink the tea you are served.
History: Drake has an odd obsession with history. Not in the sense that he will fawn over dead women or dead buildings. More in the way that will pour for hours over books about history. And relatively specific history too. He only ever reads books on Asian or English History, and usually prefers the Asian over anything else. He'll read everything from bland nonfiction to the historical fiction on the subject. He just really enjoys learning about histories, and learning from them.
World Building: He will spend hours creating worlds. He loves dissecting what makes a particular world run, from the government and belief systems, down to how the peasants move around the world. He spends hours creating maps and document files, and even bound journals full of information, and never does anything with it. His joy is creating the world, not dictating a few people in it. If asked to see about it, Drake will become incredibly animated about the whole thing, one of the few things that gets him -truly- excited, and talk your ear off for hours about his worlds.
Virtues:
Detail Oriented: Drake has an incredible eye for detail. Spending so much time on his maps has led him to be incredibly focused on the little things. He notices things such as pictures crooked, or someone's shirt tag sticking out, or if you've cut off just a half inch of your hair. He's content to sit for hours creating incredibly detailed maps, at the expense of his back and his fingers. He's also content to gently shift a piece of hair around of your eyes and back into place.
People come to him with questions about the assignments, formatting, plans, or simply how he's going to set up his papers because he focuses so fully on the details. If you ever need notes on a lecture, talk to Drake. He will have six pages of well written notes, highlighted and color coded with every bit of information you need.
It's not an obsession. Drake simply understands and appreciates what a small gesture like remembering you like lilies or the color of the sunset can mean. It can, however, mean that Drake seems to never focus on the big picture. He's been criticized by girls that he never "sees them," when he does. He just notices everything and makes notes of it. Not that anyone but Drake ever gets to see these notes, mind you, but they exist. Somewhere.
Gentlemanly: If he bumps into you, or sees your grandmother trying to cross the street in the wrong place, Drake will make sure you're or she is okay. He'll never forget a birthday, always make sure you have a hold of your things. Drake is nothing if not incredibly kind to everyone, be it girl, boy, elderly woman, cat or dog or random person. He's very kind, though very formal with his kindness. His consideration for your well being usually comes out as 'just what is the right thing to do.'
In addition, names do not leave Drake's mouth with some kind of honorific to them. All girls will have Ms. in front of their name, while most boys won't (simply because it gets him odd looks). All of those older than him will be said last name with either Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. On top of that he'll hold open the door for you if your on a date with him. Pull out your chair, pour your tea.
Knowledgeable: Drake may be quiet but there's a wealth of knowledge under his long black hair, just waiting for the moment to be used. If you need a tutor or can't seem to figure how why molecules connect like that, Drake's wealth of knowledge is at your use. He will generally sit with you and explain in simple terms what the concept is, then help you apply it. It just might not be the way the teacher taught you originally.
He's not quite "book smart," but he knows a great deal about a lot of things. Through his enjoyment of history, he can tell you any date from any war, coronation, and change of era on a moment's notice. He can tell you what kind of tea to drink for headaches, aches and pains, to help study, or for energy, as well as where to buy it and the differences between Iron Goddess Ginseng and Cloud Mist Iron Goddess Ginseng. Then, of course, his worlds he knows everything about. More than that, Drake also knows interesting tidbits of information and different ways to solve math equations and deal with science problems, that you won't find taught in a book.
School learning is too constrictive and too broad for Drake (though his grades say otherwise of course), so he spends most of his time when not building worlds and maps finding out every detail about things he's interested in or had questions about. Oh, and if you need a hard copy of what he knows because you can't write fast enough? He's got a closet full of notebooks, as well as typed archived versions, just for this moment.
Flaws:
Closed Off: While Drake is quite the gentleman and rather kind, most people don't get to see it. The young man prefers to keep to himself and his maps and notes. He's a watcher, not an engager. This, coupled with his overly formal way of speaking and interacting with people makes him incredibly stiff. This annoys the hell out of people sometimes. To the point he's had people b***h at him and get violent in an attempt to get him to drop his formal-ness.
It's not that anything has happened to make Drake like this, persay. Maps are just easier to understand. Notes and details don't talk back. The only conflict arises when he has to very carefully erase a detail in his map to move it slightly. It's easier for Drake, where as dealing with people and real things is incredibly hard for him.
Shy: Don't invite Drake to large social gatherings. The young man will glue himself next to the door, not talk to anyone, and look incredibly awkward and out of place. He has a hard time with large groups of people in general, especially in malls or theme parks. He's incredibly shy - though not introverted; Drake does and will interact with people around him - and the larger the group the quieter Drake gets. It's an amazing feat to watch, given he's already soft spoken.
"Letting loose" is hardly a phrase that applies to Drake, nor does he actually know how to do so. Even close family members rarely invite Drake to engagements; he's a wallflower among wallflowers. Most people are held at arms length and he prefers to have friends, not lovers. (Not that he's had anything beyond family affections, mind you.)
In addition, matters of "PDA" or "the bedroom" send Drake redder than a tomato. The topics of sex and intimacy embarrass him greatly and he's easily made fun of for it. This, coupled with his dislike of large groups, made most of middle school and high school rather painful for him.
Critical: Drake may be kind, Drake may be gentlemanly, but all that knowledge in his head has lead him to get impatient with people who can't see what he explains to them after multiple times. He obviously sees it, why can't anyone else? Drake forgets that not everyone is able to see things the way he does, or learns in the same way as he does. A by product of being closed off to others, he can seem distant and detached from how the rest of the world works. Never letting anyone in long enough to see a difference from himself and his family, Drake expects everyone to act and think the same way as he does.
When they don't - be it while being tutored, general conversation about the world, or a discussion about senshi worlds, he will get frustrated and blatantly point out why he thinks your way of thought is wrong. While never in ill taste, in the past some people have assumed it was and got very agitated with him. After seeing he would not change, no matter what they did or said, they dismissed Drake's opinions and labeled him as "a narrow minded bigot" and moved on. It's another unfortunate factor adding to his lack of real friends.
FUN FACTS: Drake hates being teased about his hair. Yes, he knows its long. Yes he knows he looks like a girl with it. No, he's not going to cut it and donate it. His hair is incredibly important to him and he will whack you with the very hard, very metal clasp at the end of his hair if you continue to tease him.
Also, he goes through approximately four bottles of shampoo and conditioner every two months to keep his hair clean and shiny.
Ironically, given his sphere of choice, Drake is deathly afraid of any body of water deeper than a standard bathtub. He does not swim in pools, lakes, rivers, or ponds. Space Cauldron forbid you try to get him anywhere the ocean or on a boat. He can only stand bathtubs because he knows he's entirely too tall and there's too much limb to let him drown. He will occasionally be found in hot tubs, if properly coaxed, but otherwise he will sit near the water but not go in it. He can stand showers because, again, no threat of drowning there.
An unfortunate incident when he was younger involving a kiddy pool, a very stupid child and being shoved under the water almost until he passed out triggered this phobia. He does not talk about it, he does not try to remember it. He simply stays the hell out of the water.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Eyes: Bright blue, like the crayola color Electric Blue
Hair: Black, down to his calves, clasped with a hairtie and a silver band about six inches from the end.
Face: Pale, the barest hints of a smile.
Clothes: Button down t-shirts in dark colors, and black pants. Never not black pants.
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 10:23 pm
Senshi: Hydrus of the Leviathan
Challenge: Don't mess with Nessie.
Fuku Colour:
Main Color: Sea Green
Secondary Color: Black
Fuku: CC mostly! Though I was thinking something cross between Sesshomeru's clothing (without the flulf and armor), the shinigami outfits in Bleach and male senshi,.... however that fits. (Blame him; he picked it.)
so ah, kinda asiany, baggy pants, looseish top, ties, sailor collar, simple shoes (he'd rather go barefoot but I'm more practacle)
INSPRIATIONAL IMAGES: Sesshomaru, Bleach Shinigami. Please, please go nuts and CC it. My design skills have failed me.
Collar -- CC
Bow -- Sash, CC
Bodice -- CC
Sleeves -- Long
Brooch -- CC
Bottoms - Pants
Tiara -- Give him a headband.
Choker -- CC
Shoes -- Simple shoes
Gloves -- Nope
Accessories -- CC
Attacks: (all leviathan are based off the FF XI version of them (simply for simplicity's sake).)
Sailor Scout Attack:
Shallow Sea Monsters! - [ Hydrus summons a small leviathan (5 feet long) out of his palm that slithers across the ground and attaches to his opponent, usually at the ankles. It bites down and wraps around its target. The bite itself does no damage. In doing so, it induces a sense of being surrounded by moving water which can lead to vertigo and set of hydrophobia. The leviathans do not distinguish friend or foe, and can attach themselves to Hydrus if he's not paying attention. These leviathans are incorporeal and will fade on their own.]
Lasts: 20 secs
Uses: 3 times per battle
Super Sailor Scout Attack:
Deep Sea Monsters! - [ Hydrus summons a larger leviathan (5 feet long) out of his palm. It slithers along the ground and comes up under his opponent to chop down on them. Once bitten and wrapped around, it induces a sense of deep water (approx in the middle of a 20ft sphere of water) and being surrounded by moving creatures. This attack can set off vertigo and hydrophobia. The leviathans do not distinguish friend from foe, but Hydrus can't attack himself with it. It is also semi-corporal.]
Lasts: 20 secs (this includes travel time to the opponent)
Uses: 3 times per battle
Eternal Sailor Attack:
Rage of the Leviathan - [ Hydrus presses his hands to the ground or water and summons a much larger leviathan ( 10 feet long). The creature surges through the ground or water, diving in and out of the surface around those of Chaos. This will knock people over, causing minor bruises and scraps and disrupts. The area around Hydrus, up to a 10ft radius, induces feelings of vertigo and being pulled into deep water. ]
Lasts: 30 secs (from start to finish)
Uses: 2 times per battle
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 5:30 pm
Hi, TSC! I can't really comment on his profile yet since it's incomplete, but I'm curious if you could explain how you plan to differentiate Hydrus's sphere from Scylla's, which is The Kraken? They seem (superficially at least) very similar and I'd like to hear what you have planned in that respect.
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Posted: Thu Nov 17, 2011 6:21 pm
Ah! Yes, when I was thinking up senshi ideas came to this, and how I'd distinguish it from Scylla's. Leviathan are, in my mind, sea serpents and not gigantic squids. While both are sea monsters, leviathan are more like ginormous anaconda with flippers, if that makes sense. Hydrus' power will be derived from how you always see sea serpents in art coming up and going chomp on the boat. Kinda like a chain chomp in Mario. Sorry my explanations are sometimes hard to understand. XD
His attacks will go kinda like this:
his first attack will be a small little sea serpent that will slither across the ground and attack people ankles.
His second is an upgrade of this, where the little sea serpent can actually get under the group (only soil, water, and sand) and them come up and bite you as well, and possibly hold you in place for a split second or two. It would be larger but no longer than about 5'.
Last attack, I'm still working on but I was thinking taking inspiration from a Gyrados' Dragon Rage in the Pokemon Anime, except the actual little leviathan would spin in water or mud (or sand, with much trouble in soil) and create a twister and ram into things. Could also be used on land, but not as effective given Leviathan are sea creatures.
There'd be no tenticleness or squeezing unless the poor chump got hit by the little sea serpent too high.
These are rough ideas though. I'm working hard to make it a distinction from Scylla's though, and the senshi of Snakes.
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Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 11:56 pm
Finished! Crit away! biggrin
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Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 1:04 pm
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Posted: Sun Sep 29, 2013 9:23 am
Hey there Cat, sorry about the wait to get to this, got a little busy after I took this one. I appologize for that. Now lets see if we can your boy stamped so you can play him.
Civilian:
His hobbies look fine to me.
Virtues:
His virtues read fine, but with considerate and polite, they just seems like to sides of the same virtue. I feel they should be put together and titled well mannered or Mr. etiquette because when reading both, it seems like this is basically what you are saying with both.
Flaws:
These also read well, but again emotionless and overly formal can again be put together. His overly formalness lends to his appearing emotionless. It seems like he keeps everyone at an arms lenght. Is there more to his formal or emotionlessness? Maybe he's afraid to get close to people? Or maybe he gets anxious and feels if he's not being formal he will insult someone or get to personal.
For Rage, we generally look for flaws to can be applied to everyday life and will be seen in play. If it rarely happens it doesn't really apply because it won't really be seen. I would suggest editing to make it more everyday applicable or possibly choosing another flaw.
Powered:
At current I can't tell that the attacking beast is a sea monster, so much as a large snake or a sandworm. The first to attacks as they are are fine, but there's not really much aspect of the sea or the power and the fear that a sea monster lends. You can definitely play with those aspect as well as have the Leviathan attack. Like if hit by the monster it could cause the effect of feeling like your on ship in a raging storm, while the monster is attack, as like a upgrade for the super attack.
Also since the monster doesn't have to be fully corporeal which would allow it to travel though anything as though it was water, if you'd like.
I love the last attack, but still it seems very sandworm and I think need some sort of sea aspect.
Quote me when your ready for a second look through!
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 10:36 pm
SIX MONTHS LATER
After crazy intense months of school and work and a general lack of writing ability, I've finally revised him. I pretty much redid all of his traits and turned his attacks more sea-like and vertigo inducing.
Hope I'm more on the right path now with him!
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 5:40 pm
Hey Cat
This has taken a long time and I wont make excuses. I will just apologize [I'm sorry] and try to get him stamped a fast a possible. I'm not sure what changed and what didn't because its been a long time since I looked at it, so if I say something different, I really sorry.
Civilian:
Detail oriented lacks the social aspect that is needed in virtues and flaws. It needs show that it is something that makes people like him. It's totally okay that he is detailed oriented, but why, how does that draw people to him and make them like him.
Gentlemanly has some awkward wording that makes it teeter on being a flaw. You have the flip side below in flaws so you should get rid of as much of the negative in the virtue as possible. He's very kind, though most times his kindness almost seems forced or too formal, maybe reworded to even though he is very formal with it. His consideration for your well being usually comes out as 'just what is the right thing to do,' not usually because he means it from the bottom of his heart. if he believe this maybe it is from the bottom of his heart ... , if at occasion he seems rather stiff because of his politeness. This annoys the hell out of people sometimes. To the point he's had people b***h at him and get violent in an attempt to get him to drop his formal-ness. This is a bit to negative for the virtue and isn't really needed. It could be added to his Closed Off flaw though. Remember these you want it to really be something that draws people to him and makes them like him and want to be around him.
As a rule of thumb when doing virtues and flaws, I try to keep them 80:20. No less than 80% positive and no more than 20% negative for virtue and vice versa for flaws.
Knowledgeable looks good. The virtue is in his sharing of the knowledge, people can go to him for all kinds of facts and for help with stuff? Could you emphasize that, if that is the case?
I think for closed off you should take the wallflower.family gathering bit and switch it to shy flaw, because it seems it fits better there, but you should still consider adding the bits from the gentlemanly virtue. Otherwise it looks good!
Shy looks good, just add the bit from closed off.
Hydrophobic can not be a flaw. Phobias are not allowed to be flaws. It can be attributed to a flaw, but cannot be the flaw itself.
Powered:
Basic looks fine to me, does the biting hurt or is it just like you cant really feel it, you just feel the effect of it? I'd suggest 20 secs for the times especially if the bite doesnt hurt.
Super, should have 2-3 upgrades. I'd suggest keeping the size and deliver of the leviathan the same a basic (5ft, slithers across the ground), so that you may keep the sense of deep water, being surrounded by creatures and semi-corporeal. I suggest 3 uses.
Eternal, the leviathan can't be fully corporeal and it can't have a mind of its own. A 15ft sea monster that can attack you seems a bit excessive even for eternal. Might I suggest 10 ft, and the use of an area (like a 10ft radius), for 30 secs, the leviathan(semi corporeal) will attack any member of chaos in that area, diving in and out of the ground to do so, causing minor damage, like knocking someone over, minor bruising. The area could automatically cause the effect without being attack by the leviathan, so their vunerable even if they never get hit by the Leviathan.
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Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 1:56 am
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Posted: Sat May 10, 2014 7:16 am
Hey Cat,
Your boy looks just about good to go. The only thing I have to say is that detached doesn't seem to be the right word for the flaw you have down. Might I suggest changing it to critical. Otherwise he's good to go, once you fix that. Quote me back, and I'll drop a stamp.
Kao
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Posted: Sat May 10, 2014 12:37 pm
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Posted: Sat May 10, 2014 1:16 pm
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