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Candace didn't like to admit to messing up, it was something difficult for her to do. She hated being wrong, she would argue until she could convince the other party she was right, and she didn't like admitting when she was unhappy if she could help it. But there was no denying it now.

Candace Pennington you have <******** up.

Caelius denied helping her, in fact he had flat out dismissed the pathetic trainee sitting beside his bed. He was making her clean up her own mess. Fine. She'd clean it up. There were several people she needed to talk to, several people she needed to either make amends with or have some kind of closure with..the top of her list was Jerry. Jerry was the most important one, the one she could not let sit and stew. She needed to get to him fast, but delicately. He had run away from her in fear and she had a feeling if he did that he'd run away. She had to do it as soon as possible. Yes. Candace had opened her door to leave only to spot Jerry stopping three doors down from her to visit Jordan. She gasped quietly and ducked into her room again, closing the door and sinking down to the floor. No way. She couldn't go out there.

It was a few hours before Candace finally worked up the courage to leave her room, walking quietly past every room and out the dorm wing. She had some things to get first. She was quick about it, returning with two cups of coffee and a plate of cookies and making a bee-line for Jerry's room. She stopped at the door and frowned, swallowing hard and balancing the plate against the crook of her arm and her side so she could reach out and knock on Jerry's door.

"Jerry..?" Candace's voice was soft and extremely apologetic. "Are you home? Please...let me in? I need to talk to you." She frowned, her forehead rested against the door. "Please, Jerry."

There was a faint thud of something hitting the ground and Candace blinked. He was in. Okay. Good. But why wasn't he--oh...stupid question. Why would he answer right away? He had no reason to answer at all unless he still cared for her. She truly hoped she did. She wanted him to still care about her, especially after how hard he had tried to get through to her.

Congratulations Candace, you've disappointed yourself and your friends. Snapped Atropos' mocking voice, repeating most of what Caelius had said the day before. Candace winced quietly but tried not to react more than that.

"Jerry, please." She knew he was in there but she refrained from saying it. It would have probably scared him even more. Candace lifted her head away from the door. "I brought coffee. I..uh...I don't know how you like it so I just brought the cream and sugar with me. And I got some cookies, too. Can you believe Mrs. Claus actually exists? Heh. All those years people told me she wasn't real..." Yes, Candace was trying to make small talk through the door. She had never felt so awkward.

The door opened and Candace sighed with relief, looking as humble and apologetic as well...a woman who knew how badly she had <********. up. She didn't take a step forward, she didn't even reach for him, not wanting to startle him and scare him off. It was like a frightened animal you were trying to coax out of hiding, you had to take it slow. Instead she kept both of her hands full to resist the urge to throw the door open and tackle him in a hug and so many kisses. "Hi..."

Just leave him alone. He can do so much better than some selfish, weak, crazy b***h who can't even be satisfied with her own weapon. Candace visibly flinched at that and looked down at her rings, swallowing hard and closing her eyes a moment to hide the slightly glassy quality they had taken on. Atropos was angry. She couldn't blame her. She was trying to make things right again. She didn't want to be the group's weakest link...

"I..I want--er..no. I need to talk to you...may I come in?" She kept her voice soft and even, looking one way down the hall and then the other way up the hall. No one was walking by to see her doing this..she was ashamed that she was standing out here about to grovel for someone's forgiveness. She'd never done this before. She refused to do things like this, but this time it was necessary. "You..what?" Candace was thrown off by that little tidbit of information. "Why not? It's one of my favorite holidays. I always pinned you as one of those hardcore Christmas guys too, heh..." Candace frowned and turned her eyes down to the plate of cookies.

"Please, Jerry. I promise...I...I won't so much as touch your hand unless you say I can. I swear to you." Would that help? Promising not to touch him?

Bubba? Shmendrick? Candace blinked and tilted her head, stepping past Jerry into his room. She looked uncomfortable and awkward, but only because she felt...well...really bad. It was a wonder he even let her in! She was thankful for that and would not be taking it for granted. She frowned, shuffling awkwardly from one foot to the other. This was not a familiar situation to her, she didn't..know what to do what she didn't know what to do. "I think you'd like Christmas. It's really nice...but uh..those sound like Jewish words. Is my little Je--...a..are you Jewish or something, Jerry?" She bit down on her lip a moment before holding out the transportable tray for the coffee, little packets of sugar and small cups of cream she had brought for them both. "Here. One of these is for you...uh..can we sit? My leg kind of hurts." Being hit with a hammer was painful, okay?

Candace's eyes widened a little in surprise. "Oh! Huh. I had no idea. That's neat...what's a schmendrick? Sounds like something from The Last Unicorn." She paused. "Not that I...really..know anything about unicorns or kids movies like that." Candace would just ignore the heat of her cheeks flushing as she cleared her throat and took a seat on the edge of Jerry's bed, setting the plate of cookies beside her before sitting comfortably. She crossed one leg over the other and folded her arms on top of it, nervously rubbing her lips together as she tried to think of what to say.

You ******** up. Atropos growled. Candace sighed with frustration and raised a hand to hide her face in her palm, her shoulders shaking a moment as she released a slow breath to keep calm. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. There're no words for how sorry I am, Atropos. I'm sorry. There was a sharp huff and then silence. Candace's hand moved down to just cover her mouth, looking very much like she was just...lost. What should she do? What should she say? This as hard. Candace Pennington didn't admit she was wrong! She made up bullshit until she could convince the other party she was right!

"I.." Candace sniffed, dropping her hand onto her lap again before pushing up to stand again, burying her hands in her own hair and turning away. Her heart was hammering in her chest so loudly she could hear it in her own head, and she suddenly felt the strong urge to leave so she could vomit. She'd never felt this nervous before. She was so disgusted with herself. Finally she turned back to Jerry after rubbing at her eyes until she felt like she wasn't going to break down crying anymore, clearing her throat. "I...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.." That was a good start, right? "I ******** up. That's all there is to it. I. ********. Up. Caelius..he...he's.." No. This wasn't about Caelius. This wasn't...actually his fault. This was entirely her own doing. He gave her an inch and she'd gone several miles in the wrong direction.

"None of that was supposed to happen. It..it wasn't...supposed to turn out that way and I...oh god Jerry I'm so sorry I never meant for any of that to happen I was just tired of being so weak you felt you had to do something to get yourself nearly killed to protect me a-and I didn't want to be the weakest link an-anymo-ore but I am Caelius is right." Candace whimpered, her hands lifting to cover the lower part of her face. No, damnit! No! Keep it together! She sat down again, hiding her face in her hands in shame.

He sat down beside her and she tensed a moment with worry, not sure what to expect despite it just being Jerry. She turned her head enough to look at him in the corner of her eye, sniffing and wiping away tears with the back of a gloved hand. Was he? She remembered their spar. It'd..it'd actually been fun. Why couldn't all of them have turned out like that? "Jerry, you did really well. Don't say that." She paused as he took her hand and looked down at their hands, giving breathless nervous chuckle as he curled her fingers around his. He asked? What did he ask specifically? Oh..about...

Candace frowned. "No, Jerry. It was my fault. Have you ever held that scythe? It feels...it feels amazing. I think I told you it's almost as good as sex? But...I hurt a lot of people for no good reason. I could have stopped at any time. I-I almost killed Jordan, and I laughed until I realized he wasn't moving. A-and I got bo-b-bored!" She shook a little at that memory. It was like watching a horror movie, not a memory of something she did. She held his hand a little tighter, trying not to cling to him. She'd promised. "Caelius told me I..I'm the weakest link in the group. I think he's right. How could I have been so stupid. Jerry...I'm the girl who got angry when she got less than an A on anything, the class president, the one voted Most Likely to Succeed. I worked so hard to have everything I had before this. I was going to be a lawyer. I..I don't know...what to do now. I've ******** up everything." She slumped, quietly raising his hand without thinking to press her lips against his knuckles. Candace listened as he explained he was also addicted to something, brows furrowed. Sober? What...what was he..?

"Jerry? What are you talking about? It's hard to imagine you addicted to anything other than sunshine, puppies and rainbows." Candace said frankly, finally realizing what she'd done with his hand and blushing as she lowered their hands to the bed again. "Sorry! Sorry...I wasn't thinking.."

Candace smiled, squeezing his hand before he let her go. "Actually, that's something I like about you. You're always so...cheerful, and ridiculously optimistic. And even when I was beating on you, which oh my god I am so sorry for that you have to believe me, you were trying to be positive and reason with me. It would've worked if..you...hadn't tried taking Circe but..." She blinked, tilting her head as he admitted he lost his head too--oh! Oh god. Oh god did she kill him? Was it her?! Her eyes widened and she tried not to freak out, watching as he slumped and continued to talk, complimenting her and calling her amazingly clever. She didn't feel amazingly clever right now.

But then he brought up the whole..groin kicking thing and her eyes widened. Oh s**t. She forgot all about that. Well no, she only kind of forgot about it. Her eyes drifted down to where he meant before turning back up to his face again. "Again, I am really sorry. I swear to you that is not something I ever do...not unless I'm like..being cornered in an alley by some shady assailant or something. Does it still hurt? I..I could kiss it better?" The look on her face was hopefully all the hint he needed that it was a joke. She was attempting to lighten the mood. Though if he said sure then she wouldn't...take it back, but she doubted he would say yes. It was just a joke.

...He couldn't even call Caelius a jerk without feeling bad. Candace laughed softly and leaned back to flop across the bed, closing her eyes and pressing the heels of her hands against her forehead. "I asked for his help. I actually got down on my knees and begged for it...it was humiliating." Her hands dropped away from her face and she turned her head to look at Jerry again, frowning. "Will you help me, Jerry? Please?"

She nodded slowly at his only condition to helping her, feeling so relieved that he was at least willing to help her. "I swear to you I will never do that to you again. O-or any other hunter here. Not even Dr. H, or Caelius. I promise you." Candace hesitantly reached out to cup his cheek, not because she didn't want to touch him oh it was quite the opposite, but because she was worried he didn't want her touching him. "I won't betray your trust again. I..I want nothing to do with that scythe anymore. I don't even want to see it."

What makes you think anyone's going to believe that, cheating whore. Atropos hissed. Whose weapon are you going to pine for next, huh? His? His does pretty good damage. I bet you're gonna want his next. Candace frowned but did her best not to react to the comments. It wasn't true. She didn't want anyone else's weapon, she just wanted hers to forgive her.

"Jerry.." Candace cleared her throat, rubbing her lips together and looking pained by what she was about to say. She reached down and took both of his hands in hers, holding them gently and raising them up close to her face. "I...I need to know. I know you want to help me but...but I..." She took a deep breath. "I still want to..be with you. Like, you know...be...your girlfriend? At least I think that's where we were going with this? Do you still..? I-I do owe you...a date...I'll understand if you don't want to do that anymore." But she had to know now. She didn't want to keep hoping one way or another and then be completely wrong.