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 Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:19 pm
Words.
Izaya knew the power of words better than the average person; or so he liked to think. He'd used them against others almost all his life. Even if he didn't know things, he had this way of persuading people to believe he did while at the same time getting the answer out of them so he could confirm the belief he'd instilled.
He liked to say things that made others believe he could read their minds when, in reality, it was their belief in his abilities that pressured them into thinking exactly what he told them to. In short, though he had his parkour and switchblade skills, the informant's favorite and most formidable weapons were his words.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me~
The child's rhyme played in his mind as the grunt stared up at the ceiling over his small bed in the infirmary. His left arm was in a cast due to a severe comminuted fracture caused from when he fell on it from the catwalk during the last mission. His right leg had also been fractured from the same fall, and though only of the simple spiral variety, also required a cast. His bones were broken, but that wasn't what had the slender man in agony.
His mouth was a thin line and his crimson eyes bored unseeingly into the white wall above. A female's faint voice drifted to the forefront of his consciousness, as if a memory from a dream.
"...Because you're my friend."
Izaya closed his eyes. Broken bones were nothing compared to emotional pain. Being forced to care was a type of suffering he would not stand for. Aila's last words had been the most dangerous threat of all to the grunt, and since the agent had faded in his arms, he had worried that it would have meant the end of him.
But, no; that couldn't be. Words couldn't hurt him. Not him. They were his weapons, after all. Just words. There was no power in them unless one gave them power, and he was not about to succumb to the weakness called affection. Affection brought grief, and that was something Izaya had no prior experience with. He refused to deal with it.
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:28 pm
Asch had calmly and rationally asked a nurse where Grunt Izaya Orihara was staying. That nurse had no way of knowing Asch's intent, and told him the room number. While the agent's rage had been somewhat subdued by his commander's words, it still boiled beneath the surface like a dragon lying in wait. A part of him wanted to kill Nakura, for Asch had convinced himself that he was the cause of his partner's death.
Striding down the hallway as quickly as one could in his ill state, Asch soon reached Nakura's room. He didn't even bother knocking. He had no respect for this lowly lifeform. The agent simply barged in and closed the door quickly behind him.
Standing there in his informal clothes, green eyes boring into the prone form of the grunt, Asch made one demand.
"What did you do to her?" Spoken in a seething tone, his eyes accusing and his demeanor clearly indicating he wanted answers and now.
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:32 pm
Nakura's eyes flickered to the door as the red-haired teen barged in. He could hardly move, but somehow he still managed to force the corners of his mouth up into a painful smile.
"Asch-san! Hello. How kind of you to pay me a visit!" When he spoke, his voice cracked a little like he hadn't used it for a while. An unusual thing for the usually talkative grunt. His smile didn't waver even as Asch asked his question. The underlying tone did not go unnoticed, but was not acknowledged.
"Eh? I'm not sure what you're talking about," he replied innocently. "Do I look like I could have done anything to anyone?"
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:38 pm
Asch's own voice was rough and hoarse from being ill, but that didn't matter to him. And neither did the fact that Izaya was in traction. He didn't care anymore, for Izaya's words made him twitch. He should have expected such an answer, considering this idiot's behavior at the party.
Quickly striding across the room, Asch reached out to take a fist fill of the collar of Izaya's hospital gown. Bending over, he also pulled Izaya halfway out of bed to stare angrily into the man's eyes.
"You know what the hell I'm talking about you b*****d! ANSWER ME! What did you do to Aila?!"
Asch's self control was quickly slipping.
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:47 pm
The incapacitated informant had quickly realized that Asch had not been in the best of states or moods when he had entered the room. Aside from his hoarse voice, the man's usually well-maintained, flowing locks were disheveled and he was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. That alone was a point of interest, as Izaya had always taken Asch to be an agent of strict, uniform attire. It seemed he'd had a rough time of his own while the assigned Rockets had been away.
Weary eyes widened as the red head approached him more quickly than Nakura could process. Before he knew what was happening, the thin cloth he wore was bunched around his neck, threatening to suffocate him. He winced at the movement of his broken limbs, banishing his smile. An angry emerald gaze was locked with his own as he was forced to look into the eyes of Aila's former partner.
He coughed, trying to get back his breath and recompose himself. He could deal with physical pain. Just as long as he didn't have to deal with the emotional kind. Nakura looked back at Asch through half-lidded eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:53 pm
"She's dead because of YOU!" Asch shouted, quickly losing any semblance of rationality as Izaya claimed ignorance. The fist that wasn't holding Izaya practically nose to nose with him, was clenched and trembling at his side.
"I was told she died protecting you. But that's a load of crap! You did something to her! Why would she want to die to save someone like you?!"
It wasn't true, it wasn't true, it wasn't! Izaya allowed her to die! It was his fault and Asch knew it! And he would never forgive him for it!
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 11:59 pm
The older man's attention fell upon the clenched and trembling fist at Asch's side as he listened. He began to smile again as he heard the adolescent speak, realizing what a chaotic mentality Asch must have been in. He laughed a couple of times in response.
"Why indeed...?" he murmured softly. "Are you just upset because you weren't there to save her? Was it because you had feelings for her? Or because you're frustrated that you can't understand why she did what she did?"
His eyes flickered back to Asch's. "Because of course that would mean you didn't understand her. Is that too hard a pill for you to swallow? I thought you were a big boy."
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:11 am
Asch has told Izaya at the party that there was nothing between him and Aila, but now.. after all this.. he was starting to realize how mistaken he had been. She had meant more to him than he had realized, and now it was all spewing out in grief, regret, and anger.
Why was he upset? How about all of the above.
Izaya had barely finished his last sentence when that trembling fist of Asch's suddenly came around and collided forcefully with Izaya's face.
"SHUT UP!" he screamed, wanting little more than to just kill the grunt on the spot. His grip tightened on the man's collar. He could easily do it, too.
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:20 am
With a painful jerk, the grunt's head snapped back at the impact of Asch's fist with his face. He let out a quiet, involuntary yelp as he accidentally bit his tongue, tasting blood. No...this was good. This was physical pain. He could take this. It reminded him what it was to be alive. He choked up another laugh aimed at the ceiling, not bothering to lift his head.
"Look at you..." he whispered almost voicelessly, using up whatever meager air he continued to circulate. "So torn up over an event...you didn't even have control over..." He dared another grin. "Just like a child...you want to shut out what you don't want to hear...make it go away..."
The pressure on his throat increased, nearly closing off his entire passage way. He considered struggling, but there wasn't much point. He knew he deserved the pain Asch was dealing him just as much as Asch deserved to hear the words Izaya was telling him. "If you kill me," he gasped, "What do you think she would have died for...?"
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:28 am
Again Asch's fist connected with Izaya's jaw. The guy just didn't know when to shut up, he was practically asking for this! ... And maybe he was.
However... Izaya's words seemed to strike a cord, and he paused, his grip slackening on his collar a bit.
"She didn't die for you. She couldn't have. If you know so much then tell me what happened!" ... Because he wasn't there. Asch had let her down.
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:44 am
Nakura wondered when Asch would realize he was using him. Maybe he already knew and he just didn't care. He was still obviously allowing himself to succumb to Nakura's words, causing them to affect his emotions. Did Asch want to drown in his anger, hurt, pain, and sorrow? Hadn't he had enough of that in his life, if his reaction to Natalia has been any indication?
"I never said I knew anything," the man continued to gasp, his vision starting to blur. There wasn't enough oxygen getting to his brain. "Maybe she didn't die for me. Maybe she just died...in vain. ...Just one less human in the world." he murmured. "...What does one life matter...?"
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:53 am
"You were there," Asch stated plainly. "I want to know what happened."
Izaya's next words disgusted him, and he realized that he was probably just wasting his time. Even if he did know what happened, it looked as if he wasn't going to tell Asch. It was like his situation back at the party, except reversed.
Letting go of Izaya, he let the grunt drop back on the bed, and turned away to head for the door. He paused though once he reached it.
"... It mattered to me. ... She mattered to me."
To think that Aila died trying to save someone like this. A worthless human being who couldn't even appreciate the girl that had given all to save him. It was sick. Asch realized that as much as he wanted to... he couldn't kill him. If Aila really did intend to save Izaya, which he seemed to hint at earlier or was just trying to save his a**, then he would undo her final wishes.
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 1:11 am
"...Was I?" he muttered absently, sounding dazed. Whether it was an act or he really was out of it was hard to tell. "...Can't quite recall..." A large bruise was beginning to form around the area Asch had punched, and the blood from Izaya's tongue was starting to trickle out the corner of his mouth.
The informant had known from the moment that the redhead denied what he'd been told that Asch would not listen to reason. No matter what Izaya said, if Asch refused to believe another source first, why would he have believed the informant? It wasn't hard to see that the teen had absolutely no trust in him in the first place. He was just there to vent, it seemed, or else wasting both their time.
"If you choose to deny it after hearing what happened from someone else, why would you feel any different after hearing it from me?" Izaya asked quietly when he was released from Asch's grip. "Admit it. You just wanted to come here to take out your anger on someone. You don't know who to blame. But that's because there isn't anyone."
Except Aila. It was her fault. She just wasn't around anymore for Izaya to make her regret it. It wasn't fair. Not for anyone.
"..." Nakura whimpered faintly as he tried to readjust himself on the bed. When Asch paused at the door and spoke, the grunt sighed in response. "You'll get over her. You'll push her away and out of mind for hurting you. Just like with Natalia. Isn't that right?"
There was nothing mocking in his tone this time. In fact, it was almost scornful. If Asch turned around now to look at Izaya, he would see the black-haired man glaring at him quite intensely. "Don't tell me she mattered to you, Asch," he retorted in a strangely calm voice, seasoned with a hint of hurt. "If she was alive and here right now, you would never have come to that conclusion."
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 1:24 am
Asch turned and met Izaya's glare with his own. He wouldn't admit that Izaya's words had struck a nerve. Because he was right. On some accounts anyway. He'd never gotten over Natalia, and the suggestion that he had was unjust. He knew nothing, but saying so wouldn't do any good and would only revert to this going in circles.
"Don't be so damn sure of yourself," Asch said venomously. "What's your excuse? You were just using her, were you not?" He knew only as much about Izaya and Aila's interactions at Aila told him. Which wasn't much. But then... Izaya didn't really know much about Asch either.
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 1:32 am
"What reason do I have to not be sure of myself until you tell me otherwise?" the man asked, tenderly lying back against his pillows once more, grimacing every now and then. "I don't need an excuse. Yes, I used her. In fact, I told her I would use her and she said she was fine with it. She knew I have no emotional attachments to individuals. My love is for the entire human race."
All his prior pokes and prods and pushing of Asch's buttons had only been based on assumptions Izaya had of the teen. So far, though, he seemed to have assumed rather accurately, especially for someone who he could hardly get to speak to him at all. He really wanted to know more about Aila's partner and what drove him, but the red-head still refused to talk. Thus, he only had actions, expressions, and minimal dialogue to go on.
"...If you actually came here to talk, you should."
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