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 Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 7:53 pm
You know the feeling of pain
And you hide your tears
You can stand the rain
And you don't tremble at your fears
You've come and gone
Through the third world war
The fight was long
And you're different from before
You're much older
And more mature
You've become bolder
And more secure
You're like a soldier
Fierce and strong
You're like a soldier
Righting the wrong
You touch the inside
Of the heart and soul
You turn the tides
And make one whole
You help wipe away
Those sapphire tears
You live for today
But remember those years
You mend eternal scars
And help me now
You've gotten me far
'Though I'm not sure how
You're like a soldier
Fierce and strong
You're like a soldier
Righting the wrong
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Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 8:46 pm
I like, I'm not entirely sure why though. I like the repetition, I think that adds something to it... and I think the way you wrote it, the wording and such, makes it where a lot more people can and will relate to it. Brava!
Woot! First comment!
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Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 8:53 pm
Illiandra I like, I'm not entirely sure why though. I like the repetition, I think that adds something to it... and I think the way you wrote it, the wording and such, makes it where a lot more people can and will relate to it. Brava!
Woot! First comment!
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 6:29 pm
this is a very well written poem. it seems, like iluvwritin said, easily relatable and it made me ask myself how long it took for you to write it. so in that since it also comes across as very plan and thought out.
congradulations on a very lovely poem. You should have it publish if you havent already done so. (just not poetry.com or anything like that because they just want to fill a book to publish. they dont actually care if you wrote a good poem)
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 9:09 pm
leilycoh this is a very well written poem. it seems, like iluvwritin said, easily relatable and it made me ask myself how long it took for you to write it. so in that since it also comes across as very plan and thought out. congradulations on a very lovely poem. You should have it publish if you havent already done so. (just not poetry.com or anything like that because they just want to fill a book to publish. they dont actually care if you wrote a good poem)
However, I probably wouldn't publish it, I've only actually published two poems, but then again -- you never know!
Thanks for the uberlovelly comment!
~K*J~
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Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 4:26 pm
heart heart heart I like it! heart heart heart
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 8:14 pm
the_weird_1 heart heart heart I like it! heart heart heart Thanks for the comment, but do you want to go a bit further with it? Why did you like it?
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Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:19 pm
Very well done; put it to music. Seriously.
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:32 pm
Shoraku The JKF Fan Very well done; put it to music. Seriously. good idea. i think I will go try putting these words to a chord progression I have been havng trouble with. Back in a minute.
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Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 5:52 pm
well, it worked, but with kinks. It kinda turned into a sad, sorta whistful thing. Is that what you were going for?
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Posted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 7:45 pm
The rhythm is nice, the sporadic rhyme is comforting somehow and though I don't get it (silly me!) I like the style and the execution.
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Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 12:26 pm
Oh wow, that was an excellent poem. I read it over about 3487409857023 times. My favorite line is, Quote: You're like a soldier Righting the wrong it gave me the chills. The rhyme is simple and it's not so clouded with imagery that it's impossible to relate to. Nicely done!
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