xxxxxI should probably be afraid, and I’m probably going to get myself in trouble, but I’ll figure this out. Youma aren’t that scary. I’ve seen worse. But there’s something about the way they get my heart pumping, the way that they’re real beyond my “worse” horror movie characters, that makes me eager to fight more of them. I’m not sure how much of my concern is based on wanting to keep them from hurting others as much as it is about the thrill of fighting and chasing and being in danger.xxxxxSo it turns out that becoming a Sailor has turned me into an adrenaline junkie. Although if I was a horror movie junkie before (which I was) then I guess this is just an evolution of that natural inclination. In any case, I’m loving this. I can’t get enough of patrolling. Trying to balance my old hobbies, my class work and my patrols, but I’m pretty close to graduating from Crystal—took me long enough, I’m already older than most of the students here. That’s because I started late, though. My English parents wanted me to be French when I was little, or something, so I had to back track a year of English, put me behind in school… something or other. It’s been explained to me why I had to start school late, but I’m not sure I believe them, and I don’t remember.
xxxxxWhatever. Now I’m a sailor; Sailor Hercules, Senshi of Shards. Of what’s broken and slivered. It’s a good choice for me: all those bone splinters in horror movies have to pay off sometime, right? Or is it more about shattered mirrors, and I’m my own bad luck? Too bad my attack just causes paper cuts. But I’ll tell you this: paper cuts can hurt like a b***h. And I’m only going to get stronger, right?
xxxxxI should really figure out where the other Sailors are. I don’t really know much about what I’m doing, yet, and I could use the guidance. I could use a friend who knows what this is like.
xxxxxUnrelated note: My sailor form has better clothing and jewellery than I do in my normal life. If I could stay in Henshin all the time, I would sincerely consider it.
xxxxxAlso Pippin is excruciatingly cute. Apparently there are other guardian cats, and I kind of want to meet them; sure, I love gore and blood, but there’s also a soft spot in my heart for fluffy cats. Every day I learn something new about myself.
xxxxx I heard that there can be groups, too; packs of sailors that travel together, fight together. What is that like? I’ve never had a group, I barely even have individual friends, and the ones I have are never around. That’s the price of living a dual life: one half Crystal Academy star student, one half pierced and tattooed Gardner Presley. And now I have three lives. I’m not sure how that will work out, or if I can even maintain them all separately. At least it seems like if I’m in Henshin I can’t be recognized as a civilian, so there’ll be some peace from that other life.
xxxxx I just want to get out of the academy. I heard from my piercer that there may be room for an apprenticeship there. It would be nice to stop hiding who I am. But I don’t know if I can, any more; did I live like this for so long that my “perfect self” is inextricable from my “real self?”
