"What should I call you?" he asked, bright eyes trying to search hers. They usually sat in silence, watching the world move around them, watching the wind take a breath and then move what it could within the Outrider territory, but today, he felt, like something needed to be said. That words could be more genuine, that perhaps today, he might be able to help her find a little bit of herself in these woods, to feel a little bit at home. She seemed so far away at times, as if journeying through lands within her mind that only she could see, that only she could fathom. But he wanted to be there too, he wanted the embrace not only of her body, but of her spirit and mind, all she had. But would she take him too, would she open herself up to what he wanted to give, what he wanted to have and felt a need to be with her? He was unsure. Logan didn't quite know.
Dragonsrage looked at him, then away. "I used to have so many names, some, not as kind as you might suspect," she let fall off her tongue. "Many have been cruel, in my life, but I have persevered, but here, I feel, a easiness, a lift in tension, unlike the constance that runs in my leg," that would be a pain that forever lingered, a time she would never forget. Wounds healed, but scars always remained. "Why do you ask me such things, why, here, now? You've seemed to leave the protective wall of your other friends, the other guards and hunters to be here, watch this," she said, motioning with her muzzle over the treetops which they could oversee from the tops of the cliffside. "But why? I am not a duty, not a nuisance," thought she was not naive either. She wanted to know the truth, spoken word. HIdden secrets, doubt, deception, was what led to her past downfall, was what led to the rift in herself and her family.
"Perhaps it is because, I want to know you, want to know everything, want to know what makes you who you are. But," he said stopping, "I feel like that cannot happen with the name that seems to cause you so much despair. Your name in itself draws back to two of the members here, two in one, but you are one, yourself, and only yourself. You need to have your own likeness, even if it is between a select amount of wolves, so you can be individual, so you can be who you are. So you can be different and unlike them, if that is what you want, if that is what you choose to be," he said ear flicking. "I do not mean to pry, but I know, I see, when one calls you by name, that you wince, just slightly, your muscles seem to almost give way to the label, the name placed upon your head. I wonder, and forgive my forward words, if it is even your own, if that was even the name grace upon you at birth, or pressed upon you by actions and duties of others who have forced their oppression, their strength and wants upon you."
"I was pressured, yes, but I had no choice. When you are young, you are vulnerable, and unable to protect yourself, unable to give yourself a chance at life unaltered, pure, but others have other ideas of how to darken it, dampen hopes and dreams, wants and needs," her ears fell back. "LIke Rage, and Ryu, the dragon, even Ano, I have suffered, and by this mark, I am bound to them. I was not born with it upon my fur and flesh, no, it was bore into me, but born into me, if that makes sense. IT is a part of me as I am a part of them, and they me, I cannot take that away, not ever. I wish I could, but you are right, THe namesake given to me, was just that. I had no choice, it was placed upon my head and muzzle by another who seemed it fit. I do not deny my devotion, my loyalty to those I share the mark with, I only wish that I did not share the name."
"You don't have to," Logan said, placing his nose below her chin, he lifted her muzzle, so that her eyes could look into his. He touched the side of his face to hers, and smiled, ears folding back not of sadness, but of affection. "Let yourself have a name that fits who you are: strong, wise, a dreamer-"
"Logan-"
"Beautiful."
She pulled back just slightly, but their fur still touched. Her eyes looked down, and his eyes searched for hers. Why did he have such, a fondness, for her? After who she was, what she had done in the past? He didn't even know the extent of the acts she had committed. She let her jaw tense, eyes wince and close shut, her body shook slightly.
Logan crooned, and brought himself to lay next to her, curl his large form around her own, nestling her into the crook of his side so that she would not only feel the comfort of him surrounding her, but the warmth, and devotion of his heart. "You hide yourself, from possibilities, when there is so much this world, this place, that I, could give you. You are like the Mimeteh, the new moon, dark and mysterious, but lingering in the dark. Still the powerful face of the moon, merely shrouded in a shadow to hide yourself from onlookers who you don't find deserving of know your details, the craters and fissures that make your face, make you who you are," he said gently licking her muzzle. "You are the Miakoda, the power of the moon, able to push and pull the waters of the world, the sea at our shore, and shape the hard, heavy stones that we, ourselves, cannot hope to mark or mar. But here, when you came, to me, you were like Migina, the returning moon, the light in the night that had come to light my way, lost in the darkness that encompassed me, made me feel lost and without meaning, you gave it back to me, and gave me light. You are the Taini Tala, returning moon wolf, and you've returned hope and love in my heart."
She leaned against him, speaking softly, "Why do you say such things?"
"Because they are true," he curled more tightly around her, crooning, letting the rumble of his chest be felt through her body, small trembles and tremors as if the earth itself were speaking beneath them. "You, to me, are my light, my moon."
"Well, to me, you are my Yitis, my friend, and…more, I feel," she said without lifting her head or raising her eyes. She had never felt this way before, and never allowed herself to feel this way. When she had been with the others, owned, in a manner, she was not even allowed to have thoughts mildly relating to this type of thing. But to her, Logan, he was so much more than just a guard, a hunter, a provider for the pack. He was a provider for her heart, her spirit, and kept her mind and body at ease. He made her feel safe, warm, and at ease although when the cold weather came, her leg would pain her, perhaps the warmth of his body next to hers would dull the ache that ran through her body. "You are like Hakana, fire," she spoke, "that has woken the cold spirit within me, woken my heart from slumber, and tension, and weight," she spoke softly, leaning into him, closing her eyes, enjoying the feel of his puffy fur against hers. "You are Etu, the sun, my light, shining upon the day and making it worthwhile. If I am the moon, and you the sun, then we balance one another, as we balance the world. Are spirits are intone, and were meant to find one another, I think."
"I think so too," he spoke, resting his head in the crook of her neck, rubbing his chin back and forth just slightly. "You are my moon.
"And you are my sun."
"And my heart."
"Yes, heart, spirit and being, sun and moon, push and pull, a true balance, we are one."
Logan believed, it was safe to say, that this day they had found new names for one anther. Whether or not they would remain always, or whether they would find new names for one another on different days where new hopes and messages would arise, there was no way to tell. But for now, he enjoyed just feeling at ease, looking over the Outrider territory with his moon, his love, he her sun, as they curled up and became one in the twilight sky as the stars began to litter the sky.
[Word Count 1509]
~Shaoilin Woods Guild Archive #2~
