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Well, see, I could not, for the life of me, figure out where to put this. And I figured since my story has romance in it eventually, lol, why not put it here? Lol *cough* So yeah. This is the first chapter from a book I wrote my Sophomore to Junior year in High school. I am currently typing and editing it to make it a little better. If you guys like it and want me to, I'll post the second chapter, cuz it introduces my other main character. (Personally, I like the second chapter better, except it's kinda longer than this one. sweatdrop )
The story is a little disheartening, methinks. When most of my friends read it they always go, "Awwwww! That's so sad! D:" So yeah. Um, don't tell me it's sad. I realize that. xD I'm mostly curious on what you guys think of my writing style and story introduction and all that jazz~
So...ta da, here it is:

Chapter One
Life sucked. That’s just how it was. There was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t help it. She couldn’t change it. She had no one who could save her, and ever since she was six years old, she made it look like she wanted to keep it that way.

But in reality, she was barely crawling her way through existence—clinging to the hope of a future, and terrified of the hopelessness of her past. The only thing she could do was live, but this life was worse than death.

Trina Wright stood frozen in the window, eyes wide, mouth hanging loosely open. Horror clouded every corner of her skull as she stared down at the once-vacant driveway—now occupied by a battered red pickup truck.

She heard the front door slam, and all sanity jolted back into her like a bolt of lightning.

Trina shoved all her homework and pencils into her yellow book-bag and pulled the strap over her shoulder. Frantic, she ran across the room for the closet, praying Damon wouldn’t find her there. She could hear him downstairs, throwing another one of his fits.

He’s drunk again, she thought as she slid the closet door open.
Then she stopped and whirled for the window again. She could make it. If she was quiet enough, she could get out of the house.

She took one step forward and the boards under the deep blue carpet creaked loudly.

All the crashing, banging, and yelling downstairs stopped abruptly, and the house went eerily silent.

Trina exhaled heavily and pulled her foot back.

The floor creaked again.

Loud, heavy footsteps pounded up the stairs, and Trina instinctively stumbled back into the closet. She fumbled for the sliding door and pulled it shut, just as Damon came storming down the narrow hallway and into her room.

“Trina!” her brother thundered. “I know you’re up here, girl! You’re ignoring me again!” He swore loudly and she could hear him tossing things over. Sounded like her desk. Damon swore again.

Trina pressed her back against the wall so she was concealed by the clothes hanging in front of her. She reached into her book-bag and clenched a pair of scissors. She didn’t know what on earth she would do with them. She didn’t want to know. She just squeezed the scissors tight, praying Damon wouldn’t open the closet.

After about a minute, her desperate hopes were crushed.
The closet door was violently yanked open and Trina caught sight of her brother through the clothes.

He was twenty-seven years old and built like a bull. He usually shaved his head often, so he might as well have been bald. He had hard brown eyes, and matching rich brown skin. Broad shoulders, large hands, stern face. He looked like he was born to be in a gang. But he was usually depressed, quiet. He didn’t speak very much, unless he was drunk.

Like this very moment.

Trina watched him scan the shelf above her, then the clothes ahead, then the clean floor below with Trina’s shoes perfectly aligned against the wall.

Damon snarled through gritted teeth and slammed the closet shut.

Trina flinched as she heard the wood snap.

“I get it,” she heard her brother growl. “You want me to think I’m losing it.” He paused for a moment, and Trina knew he was listening. Listening for her. “I’ll kill you Trina!” he suddenly boomed.

Trina flinched again.

“I’m sick of you! If I see your face again, I swear to God I’ll kill you!”

She clasped her hand over her mouth to keep from making any small noise as she heard Damon kick something over, then walk heavily out of the room.

She waited a whole ten minutes before finally thinking of moving. There wasn’t a sound downstairs now, and Trina wondered if her brother might be asleep.

She swallowed hard, reached forward, and pulled the door to open it.

It didn’t budge.

She used both her hands to pull with all her might, but was only rewarded with a crack of wood.

She glanced up where the door moved on those little plastic wheels—like she knew how the stupid thing worked. It seemed to be jammed, maybe broken. She tried the other sliding door on the left.

That one was stuck as well.

“Crap,” she muttered under her breath. For a spilt-second, she thought she would be trapped here all night. But there was always a way out.

Trina hesitated at first, fearing what her brother might do to her. But she couldn’t stay here. She couldn’t stay locked in her own closet for the rest of the week.

She slammed the heel of her foot into the white-painted wood, and the door shook from the force, but it didn’t break. Trina grunted and kicked the door again. She heard the wood crack and snap, and the door bent forward a bit, but it still did not break. Frustrated, she kicked it once more, and the door nearly broke in half. It collapsed to the floor and Trina stumbled forward as it went. It landed with a bang, and a loud crash followed when she tumbled on top of it.

She sat there, clutching her yellow book-bag and clenching her eyes shut. She gritted her teeth, expecting Damon to come thundering up the stairs again.

But he didn’t.

Trina opened one eye, then the other. She looked around, breathing hard.

The house was silent once again.

If she knew anything at all, she would leave this God-forsaken place. At least for one night to let her brother cool down. She couldn’t show her face to him while he was still conscious. He obviously wasn’t sober, but he still had a mind.

Trina stood quietly and stepped over to her window. She pulled it open and stuck her head out. Far below, she could see the fallen screen lying on the grass in the backyard. Trina never bothered to put it back, because she knew she would need to climb out of the window again at some point.

Trina took a deep breath, glanced behind her at her destroyed room, looked back, and then stepped onto the windowsill. “God, make me soar,” she whispered under her breath. Then she leaped from the window with her book-bag under her arm.

For a moment, with the wind in her face and the setting sun shining in her eyes, she felt like she really was soaring. Until gravity began to pull her down to the sidewalk on the other side of the fence.

Trina gasped when she saw what was coming.

Her two feet slammed into the tall, wooden fence, causing her to stumble forward, headfirst. She landed on her left shoulder, and the side of her head hit the cement. Her body followed with a thud.

She groaned and stood, straightening her book-bag and dusting off her faded, denim jeans.

It was Friday evening. Trina couldn’t stay at school—tomorrow night was Winter Formal, and they would be getting the place cleaned up and ready. She had no other family in the entire state, except Damon, of course. So there was no one she could stay with.

Trina stared off across the street to the grassy park in the center of the neighborhood. Behind it, the sky glowed orange with distant, pink clouds stretched out like strands of cotton candy. The houses around grew dark—becoming mere silhouettes in the diminishing light.

She had to find somewhere to stay. Hanging out on her street at night wasn’t exactly a smart thing to do.

Trina glanced behind her, then stared back at the park.

It wasn’t the best place for a sleepover, but then again, neither was home. And she really didn’t have any other option.

She took a deep breath and quickly walked down the sidewalk and across the street. She stepped up onto the curb and made her way through the recently mowed grass to the playground.

A dark-haired kid on a skateboard travelled down the sidewalk, glanced her way, then continued for a set of one-story houses on the other side of the park. Other than him, there wasn’t a single person in sight.

Trina lowered her head as she walked, hoping some other lone bystander on an evening stroll wouldn’t see her by chance. She ducked into the big, yellow tube slide and sat down. She lightly swung her feet, dragging the toes of her white tennis shoes in the soft bark.

Someday, she would move away from here. She’d get a good job that paid well and live in a large, white house on a hill somewhere. She’d buy a dog. A big one—like a Golden Retriever. She wouldn’t get married—you can’t trust anyone. Especially someone who says he loves you. But there was a small chance she might adopt a daughter. Get her into homeschooling so she wouldn’t have to deal with the horrors of public school. Then maybe, just maybe, she would be happy.

Trina yawned and leaned back on her book-bag as if it were a pillow.
She had to get out of this. Everything was all wrong. Life felt like death. Death felt like life. Home was a place she feared. And no place felt safe. The world was her enemy.

Tears ran down her cheeks.

And there was no one who understood her.

[/end]

Well, see, this is just the first chapter of the novel. So all those memories and flashbacks and explanations of why she's so afraid and stuff--that happens later. Like, in the third chapter. The first chapter kind of opens up in the middle of things(en media res, I think it's called)--so the reader isn't necessarily supposed to know EXACTLY what's going on in every aspect of her life. Especially since there's a lot deeper things going on that is gradually revealed to my second character. (He's introduced in the second chapter.) This story has a few odd twists at the end, (I love twists) so I couldn't give a whole background story on her life. (Or the other character's life).
And the way my stories always seem to work, is they start off tragic, but they end happily. Well....not "happily". More like, bittersweet. (I cannot stand bubbly or crappy endings. They annoy the hell out of me...) So yes, it is rather emo starting out, but that's kind of the point. Eh, the second chapter, I think, is a lot worse. (More emo, I mean)
But see, there's a point to it. Like, an underlying theme. Ever heard Hero by Superchick? Eh, anyway, point is, I couldn't summarize their lives and let you know exactly what's going on in just the first chapter, because there's a lot more than just her being upset.
And the part about her jumping out the window--thank you. I've often wondered that myself, but I wasn't sure what I should do. I mention later in one of my chapters that it sort of gives her long-term effects, and she has trouble with her legs, but the immediate effects, I wasn't sure about. Because she does this often, and she might be used to the pain at this point? I wasn't sure.
And the part about him being bald...eh, redundancy? That's the problem, right? I'll fix that. Lol.

Hm, yush, I guess it can be annoying to some. Most of my point was....you know those weird kids in school that no one wants to hang out with? A lot of kids, I've noticed, that don't have any friends, are usually the overly emotional ones @.@ Idk. Maybe I'll try toning it down a bit.
And...I will do that. Disorientation will work, and it shouldn't be too hard to just stick in there. :3

It does seem a tad cliche but I like it. It makes me want to keep reading to find ouot what her brother does to her and this second character of yours, I suppose it's a guy and they fall for each other, but something else you might add in the beginning is why she lives with her brother. I understand that more information is coming later on but sometimes you feed the reader more so they keep going. It is quite the story as well. I do like it.

Right!