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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 8:35 pm
_____________________________________________________________ Those tears from your eyes, Threaten my heart to break, What is it that I've done to you? What is it of mine that you want to take?
You spin me around, I hit my back against the wall, Your sweet breath hovers over my lips, Why is it for you, that I want to fall?
All this quick hesitation confuses me, All the sounds vibrate along with our ragged breathing, The lightning strikes for your blue hues to burn into my memory, Keeping my tears from painfully dripping.
The sound of hearing you heart breaking, The sight of seeing you fall bleeding, The feel of wiping your tears away, The more I beg to stay everyday, The lies you whisper in my ears, To save my lonesome life from decaying, The lies I'm forced to tell you, Because the enemy wants to see your life ending.
I cry to return home, to the one who holds me tightly, Though I don't want to leave, for you're the one holding me tighter, I don't understand why you speak your hatred to me, But you protect me as if I can make the moon in your dreams brighter.
The abyss of this darkness, Leading to your nightmares, Falling endlessly through the nothingness, Beliving that no one really cares.
In my reality, I truely don't want to leave you, For the one I thought I fell in love with before, You showed me more than a perfect love, You brought me to realize that there's alot more. _____________________________________________________________
I know I haven't posted anything in awhile, though I decided to share this one with everyone to see if it's a good poem. I was inspired by a fanfiction of Fullmoon Wo Sagashite to write this. The site is fanfiction(dot)net and the story is called 'Fifteen Minutes' under the Fullmoon Wo Sagashite section for anime/manga fanfictions. It was a really good story told by the writer named 'somebody new' on that site. (Yeah they have their usernames as well just like Gaia.. duh lol). They really changed the whole story and made it their own and it really was amazing, ecspecially when I started tearing up too. (If you can write a story and make me cry, it's pretty amazing!)
Please comment on my poem and tell me what you think smile I hope you guys like it! Thanks!! smile mrgreen
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Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2012 11:17 am
Hey there smile Your poem is amazing. Your writing is so honest and sharp and raw that it paints a picture in my mind of the two people. You rhyme well, but I would love to see what pours out of you in a less structured form - or even what you can do in a more structured form like a sonnet. Great writing smile
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