Age: 21
Birthday: November 17th
Sign: Scorpio
Gemstone: Citrine
Blood Type: A+
Fav. Food: Sushi, French toast, croissants.
Hated Food: Hot dogs, lasagna, chili
Current Occupation: Part time barista, fulltime roustabout.
Hobbies:
Music – Music is the language of the soul, but Mal enjoys many of its less metaphysical applications. Music is for rocking out in the shower, music is for drowning out the sound of her roommate ******** her boyfriend across the hall, music is for sharing, music is for speeding down a highway, windows rolled down, imagining how the scene would look if her life was a movie. While Mal stays comfortably in the rock spectrum, where her own burgeoning bass skills are best utilized, she’s not opposed to dabbling in any band that can get her body moving, so long as too many people haven’t heard of them.
Social Networking – As part of the Facebook generation, Mal feels the need to broadcast her every waking moment to a vast, uncaring internet. Her every thought and action is detailed across her dutifully updated Twitter, blog, Tumblr, and Myspace (because girl loves her vintage). While she thrills at every new follower and friend request, Mal knows a cool sense of detachment is required to attain even a little internet fame, and will be the first to tell you how lame social networking is. The only reason she so actively participates is because all the clever things she has to say were starting to look sad when she was pasting them up on Post-It notes around her room.
Getting High – Mal had typed up an intelligent, articulate argument about the benefits of smoking weed, but she couldn’t remember where she saved it after she got distracted by looking up theme songs for 90’s cartoons on YouTube. Holy s**t, do you guys remember Mummies Alive? Neither does she.
Virtues:
Confident – As a kid, Mal found herself a faithful student to the teachings of Topanga Lawrence, learning the importance of being comfortable in one’s own weird skin through a number of very special episodes. Even though later those teachings were geared more towards lowering your expectations to follow your schlubby Jewish love interest to college, she opted to forego those lessons and concentrate more on being a mature young woman who never compromises her personal quirks just to gain someone else’s approval. She is who she is, and she’s not in the habit of making excuses for herself. She instead allows other people to perceive her as they may, only concerning herself with doing what makes her happy.
Easy Going – Mal attributes her lackadaisical nature to another childhood influence – her parents having taken her to see The Big Lebowski at a very impressionable age. While some may question the decision to bring a seven-year-old to see any movie featuring Tara Reid, Mal’s parents would argue that the babysitter was busy with her niece’s Quinceañera and that it was the follow-up to Fargo, so what would you have them do? While Mal barely understood anything that wasn’t screamed by John Goodman, she was struck by The Dude’s laid back approach to life and was from that day forth dedicated to growing up to be Jeff Bridges. That having failed to pan out, she’s instead focused on living in a constant state of being totally mellow. She is not one to make fusses or stress out, adopting a strict policy of going with the flow and allowing the good times to consequently roll.
Romantic – While Mal does prefer her suitors to be of a chocolate-buying, gentlemanly persuasion, she is a romantic in a much broader sense. She is a dreamer, a free-spirit, someone who adores grand gestures whether she’s making them or receiving them. She believes everyone is capable of living up to their full potential and that each new day is rife with possibilities. Such a wide eyed wall flower dangerously walks the line between refreshing and grating, but Mal always makes sure to stay on the tolerable side, stopping short of strewing flower petals in her wake and instead simply believing that the world is an amazing, surprising, worthwhile place to live in.
Flaws:
Sarcastic – Mal’s sense of humor may not to be everyone’s liking – or anyone’s liking, for that matter. Not being one to openly confront people, she has a habit of disguising her unsavory opinions as jokes made with thinly-veiled sincerity, usually so she can play them off when anyone tries to call her out on being kind of a b***h. But even when she isn’t making fun of people to their faces, Mal has a tendency to boil everything she has to say down to a witty retort in what some doctors have deemed to be a "serious case of the Junos." Some may say that her sense of sarcasm is a defense mechanism that allows her to emotionally distance herself from people, but Mal would express surprise to those people at there being a degree granting Psychology program up their own asses.
Flaky – Mal is unreliable, possibly because her dog never told her that sitting around all day and getting high makes her a shitty friend. Without the guiding words of an anti-drug ad in the guise of a talking animal, she’s grown accustomed to letting down the people around her. While she often expresses enthusiasm when making plans to hang out, agreeing to do a friend a favor, or being depended upon in any capacity, more often than not that enthusiasm is lost somewhere amongst half a package of Oreos and a Doctor Who Netflix marathon. She’s been known to come through on occasions, but those moments of reliability seem to have more to do with the alignment of the planets than any active effort on her part.
Elitist – As someone who believes in everyone’s full potential, Mal is offended by things that fall short of her ideals. Terrible art is just as grave a crime against humanity as actual crime. After all, what’s Jersey Shore but an assault on the collective intelligence of society? While she would never outright put someone down for, say, enjoying the comic stylings of Dane Cook or gleaning pleasure from Eat, Pray, Love in a capacity other than completely ironic, she would talk down to them, gently treating them like the poor, uneducated troglodyte that they are. Some may not think a twenty-one-year-old white girl is the best person to serve as gatekeeper of all that is culturally beneficial, but Mal firmly believes her multiple readings of Catcher in the Rye makes her the most qualified candidate for the job.
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Black pixie cut, the sort of bed hair people spend forty minutes on in the morning.
Face: Unremarkable, but that doesn’t stop her from posting a thousand pictures of it on Facebook.
Clothes: Shirts and skirts from ModCloth.
