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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 10:11 pm
Update! Slot in Ende's Sept customs gotten~
ToC:
1. Intro 2. Alexandra Gramme 3. Andronicus Cyrrhestes Page of Uranus 4. Infos! 5. Extra Stuff
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 10:20 pm
Have a Headshot!Thank you Roma for the headshot! <3 Name: Alexandra Gramme Nicknames: Aly, Alex Age: 18 Birthday: January 3 Sign: Capricorn Blood Type: AB Fav. Food: Pasta, cookies, her momma’s Cola pot roast, Greek gyros and pita bread Hated Food: Nuts, most Oriental and Asian food, spicy things
School: Sovereign Heights
Hobbies:
Dance - For thirteen years of her life, she's danced ballet. Its an intricate part of her life, and she can't sit in a room with music playing without choreography playing in her head. She loves dancing, and hates people who think its 'easy' or a girly sport. It isn't. Its taken her all thirteen years of her dancing training to get as good as she is now, and she still isn't principle dancer material. She has class four days a week, with rehearsals three of those days. Dance is a real time sink for her, but she loves it.
She originally got into dance half out of her own want, and half out of her mother wanting to learn balance; she had a habit of leaving skin on almost every surface because she'd trip over her own feet (one could argue she still does). Around the age when other girls were getting into soccer, swimming and basketball, Alex fell in love with preforming. Her sole reason to continue taking class is because at the very end, she gets to preform on a stage.
She creates dances in her spare time, though they tend to be hodgepodgey to what goes well with the music. There are times when she strikes gold with her choreography and her created piece is very good.
Alex is most practiced at classical ballet, though she enjoyes lyrical dance much more. She has training in jazz, jazz-hip hop, character, and tap styles of dance, and has dabbled in modern and contemporary dance. Contemporary confuses her most of the time (it tends to be VERY out there) and classical bores her after a while (there are only so many times you can dance the Waltz of the Flowers from the Nutcracker before you can do it in your sleep).
Writing - Writing is one of the best ways for her to let loose steam and let her mind calm. She writes drabbles, one shots, and novels, none of which are actually finished yet. She got into writing after reading so much and reading a LOT of fanfiction online. She tested her fingers at it, and went through a number failed, unfinished attempts before she got to a point where she actually liked her writing. What was the kicker, though, was her fifth grade teacher who let her write about Pokemon for a magazine assignment. She fell in love with the art that was writing after this moment. The fanfiction just helped it along.
She tends to write fantasy stories, usually with the underlying theme of a dragon of some sorts in it. She's just a little obsessed with the large flying lizards.
She roleplays, too, like its going out of style.
Video Games - If there's one thing she loves more than dance and writing, it's video games. She plays mainly RPGs, but you can get her to play Halo if she with the right people. Kingdom Hearts, Zelda, Final Fantasy, Pokemon, Fable; you name it, she's probably either played it, heard of it, or hasnt' gotten to play it yet.
Her current time sink is World of Warcraft. She doesn't PvP. She thinks the concept of running around scared shitless because someone can come up your backside and run you through with an axe is not the way to go. Alex mostly plays hunters, and solos a lot of her quests, or have level 80 friends follow her around and help her through dungeons and said quests.
She usually plays video games after dance and school work are finished, but there are times, especially with WoW being on her laptop, that the pull is too great, and she's playing when she should be doing math homework, and plays until 3 in the morning. Most of her console games get played on the weekends and Fridays, due to having not enough time during the rest of the week.
Gemstone: Garnet
Virtues:
Confident About Her Abilities: Alex has a lot of confidence in her work and school. She always believes that she can do something, and do it well. If she finds she can't, she'll just try again, confident she'll fine a new way to go about the project or assignment. In combination with being so gun ho about things, she jumps into her work and works on it right away. This does come off as arrogance sometimes, and her confidence can get away from her if she doesn't keep it in check.
Gun-ho About Things: In being sure of herself and her abilities, Alex gets incredibly excited these days about projects, or challenges, or new rehearsals, etc. She gives her all in them, putting her heart and soul into just about everything she does. Usually her enthusiasm dies off after a time (usually for studying its after an hour or so) but during her bursts of energy nothing can really stop her. She throws her entire focus into a project and will not rest until its done (or her mother forces her to sleep). With people she tends to sometimes barrel over them, and get annoyed if people dawdle with projects or assignments. She wants things done, and done right away, mostly so she doesn't have to scramble at the end, and mostly just to get it done. If she's interested in outings with friends, she's usually really upbeat and the one to run ahead into the bookstore or the game store (not so much shoes, but you never know). She'd totally camp out for tickets for a concert too, or go to the midnight release of movies and video games.
Optimistic: If you look at her, you don't see much of a frown or unhappiness in her face. She smiles, she always is cheering people on and being happy for them. She doesn't like seeing people depressed so she tries to cheer them up however she can. She never once expects the same in return, and is okay with it. When going into tests and assignments she always has a positive outlook on the situation. You might see her fret a little if its a subject she has some difficulty with, or see her going over her notes countless times, but you won't see her lose her cool and break down over a bad test. At times her smiles can seem forced and plastered on her face, but this usually is only temporary.
Flaws:
Bullheaded: While Alex encourages everything to try new things if something doesn't work, she will "run the horse into the ground, and keep running it," in a sense. She's highly stubborn, and doesn't like outside feedback on what she should or shouldn't do. Obviously her way will work, it just needs more time. This ends up leading to many rage filled rants about projects and assignments that get more rage filled because she's wasting time raging. She backs down very rarely, but will do it; especially if it means she could lose a friend over it. Alex does have a tendency to totally negate other people's reasons for things. Most of the time she'd listen to it, and just not usually do what they say. Only in rare circumstances (like jumping off a bridge or something that makes her feel uncomfortable) will she truly ignore what they say.
Hotheaded: In the absence of just taking everything and not lashing out, and become depressed because of it, Alex acts out with anger. She's not as volatile as they come, but her fuse is short. She will not hesitate to snap at you if you are annoying her, and will fight back if you pick a fight with her. She doesn't reacted towards adult until they've gone out of ear shot, but Alex doesn't keep a good lock on her emotions, and never has. Just now, instead of crying, she glares and raises her voice, kicking furniture in the process. She's never physically hit someone, but she has gotten into a number of verbal fights with others before. Alex does tend to let her mouth get away from her and she on numerous occasions say things that either don't make sense, or only make some sense. She has horrible comebacks (and knows it) but still tries to fight back regardless.
Socially Paranoid Alex does as much as she can to make sure she matters in a group, that she's important, that people like her. Her greatest fear is being completely and totally ignored, and being alone. She worries constantly about whether people talk behind her back about her, or if they like her, or are just putting on a face. This has grown into paranoia over the years, and she really can get worked up over it. She frets about it and tries to be as nice to everyone as possible, even if they don't want it. Her natural tendancy for her emotions to get the better of her hinders this, however, and she's lost people she wished she didn't because she reacted badly and yelled in anger.
This manifests itself in Alex doing everything in her power to make friends. Which usually means she'll hang around you, trying to get in on the group, or making some comment that is for the conversation but no one really cares about. She either actually makes friends, or gets ignored the whole time, while they barely tolerate her presence. She highly values her friends, but doesn't trust them until far into the friendship. Group events are the worst, when she can see people whispering to each other. She automatically assumes they're talking about her, even if all they're doing is asking each other what they had for lunch. She has not gone into therapy for this, mainly because she doesn't realize just how paranoid she is. She thinks this is the normal course of action.
Physical Description: Hair - Dark purple with black ends, hanging down to her waist now and usually pulled into a high pony tail or one at the nap of her neck. Eyes - Green blue, small Face - Ovalish shaped face, thin looking, small nose, average sized ears Body - Whip thin, dancer toned (not muscular, but it is there) Fashion - At home - Pants, pants, pants! Alex will lounge around her house in anything, so long as it includes pants. She likes graphic tees, character tees, even comic book tees. Pretty much, if you can dress her up like a boy, then she's a happy girl. At ballet class - Black leotard, pink tights, and black dance shorts make up her dance clothes. With friends - She'll usually wear pants, even in the summer, with a t-shirt and her trusty, but falling apart, skater shoes. She doesn't skate, but loves those shoes regardless. At school - While she loves the school uniform, she begrudgingly only wears the skirt because she couldn't get her mom to by her the guy shorts. She does wear shorts on underneath it, however.
It isn't that she doesn't like skirts, its that she can't sit in them well. Even with ballet, at least there was something covering underneath the skirts, instead of just her underwear. Alex doesn't have a lot in the bust either, so she can't pull off busty or low cut shirts. She'd rather look like a guy than a girl who is trying too hard to be sexy.
Family: Mother: Teresa Gramme - A loving woman who Alex inherited most of her features from. She and her mother are very close, and share a more pleasant relationship than most other mother/daughter pairings. She's very happy that Alex has finally gotten over her depression and has a new outlook on life.
Father: James Gramme - A workaholic man who has never really been around. He leaves before Alex is awake, and comes home around the time she's supposed to be in bed. Even when he is home, he's either bitching and moaning about work, or working, or sleeping.
Cat: Max "Lazy a**" Gramme - The family cat. The Grammes got him when Alex was thirteen as her pet. He has since changed owners to Teresa. He's one of the laziest cats, the loudest, and the scaridest known to man. He used to be terrified of Alex, but he is slowly warming up to her; it seems even he can sense she's leaving for college soon.
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 10:47 pm
Knight Title: Andronicus Page Challenge: Can you handle the gale? Uniform: Ezio meets Jasmine meets nomad with a heavy leaning towards Ezio meets nomad. Top -- A sports bra-esk top with a cropped cloak, with hood, over it. Only goes down to her bust line and is held with one clasp at her throat, with the symbol on it. Bottoms -- Tight, light brown pants Gloves -- N/A Belt -- Cord belt, tied over her right hip Shoes -- Simple ballet flats Shoulders -- At Page none, but I'd like for her to get a set of leather shoulder plates by Knight stage. Accessories -- Goggles, like... Syaoran's, either around her neck or on the top of her head, kinda like a headband Weapon -- An ornate staff with a weather vein ontop. First stage: Simple pole with an unmoving weather vein (that points N/E/S/W) with the Uranus symbol in the middle. Second and Third: Up to descression, and becomes much more intricate. Squire and Knight stages the weather vein spins when she is channeling her magic. Colors: The Darker blue here. and white. Along with accent colors as needed. Magic:Page: Nada. Squire: Change of Winds Channeled for thirty seconds. Andronicus can change the direction of the wind in a small (5 yard) radius around herself, and use this sudden change of wind to disrupt enemy attacks or knock them off balance. Can be used in short bursts, up until thirty seconds of magic 'time' is used. The change of wind is like a 30 mph gust of wind. This is done by swinging her staff in the direction she'd like the wind to change to, going from and upright position in a horizontal line with the top of the staff pointing in the direction she wants. She then must hold the staff in that direction to channel the magic. Knight: Change of Gales Channeled for one minute. Andronicus changed the wind direction again, however this time with the force of a gale, able to knock people of their feet and knock loose debre off of tables, roofs, trees, etc. Can be used in short bursts, up until forty five seconds total of magic 'time' is used. Usable up to fifteen feet in the direction she casts its (usually forward). The gale is at 40 mph. This is done like her squire magic.
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 11:00 pm
Info on Place: Will come when I have one.
Why The Changes: I can't play self depressing characters anymore. From the time I started the original Terpsichore quest until now, the central core to Alex has done a 180 almost. She's feisty, fiery, and bullheaded as all get out now, and not so depressed. I also figured, with her history to my Lt. Jarosite, that after the whole break up, Alex would have changed signifacantly, to try to block out all thoughts of Merric as possible.
Her name; I will refer to her as Ayrrin or Rin most of time, because that is now what she knows herself as. Teachers will still call her Alex, and she will, to some degree, give out that name as well, but the soonest she can, she's changing her name. I want it to be a plot device though, instead of cheating and changing it now. Lol neeeverrrmind. Not to fond of the name Ayrrin anymore.
As for Terpsichore, I didn't feel like playing her in two different places. And this idea for a "gauntlet-spear" (which is of my own creation, actually) doesn't warrent itself to a senshi of Dance.
And Knights are awesome, just saying.
Why a Knight: It'll freak her out. And she wears enough little ballet skirts during class and rehearsal thank you very much. And Alex just doesn't like the concept of the senshi. She thinks they're entirely too unorganized and too numerous. The knights are small right now; she has less of a chance of being left out in the cold, I think.
Also. Weaponry. And I have one evil character right now. I don't need two.
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 11:19 pm
Name Ideas:
Sylph Chasma * will ask about this one
Andronicus Cyrrhestes [x]
Chemmis - Isle of Chemmis
Delos - floating island
Al Sirat (or Bridge of Jehennam) - bridge to paradise in Islamic/Muslim tradition. Only the good can pass swiftly over it; also makes me think of Al Bhed and what her to have an awesome set of goggles.
Alfhiem/ Elphame - Norse is love
Vindblain
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 1:57 pm
Hi scowl! Sylph would be an awesome name for a Knight, but since the chasm is on Ariel that would probably make her an Ariel knight instead. It could be possible that there's a Sylph chasm on Uranus as well though! I would maybe ask the gms their opinions about it if you're super in love with the name. (Why wouldn't you be XD) But I figured I'd offer you some other options too! (trying to find wind/air related things for you) "The most remarkable monument representing the winds is the octagonal tower of Andronicus Cyrrhestes at Athens. Each of the eight sides of the monument represents one of the eight principal winds in a flying attitude. A moveable Triton in the centre of the cupola pointed with his staff to the wind blowing at the time." -- it's a bit of a mouthful but you could probably shorten it to Cyrrhestes. (or Crryhus, or Andronicus. there's a link here!) The Isle of Chemmis- Chemmis was described by Pomponius Mela as a floating island in Egypt. This island had sacred groves and a temple of Apollo, and it floated wherever the wind blew it. Delos was also a floating island, but was anchored to the ocean after Leto gave birth there? And there's CloudCuckooland ... which... sort of works? If you want to go a kinda silly sky route. "The Birds,[1] a play by Aristophanes in which Tereus helps Pisthetairos (which can be translated as "Mr. Trusting") and Euelpides ("Mr. Hopeful") erect a perfect city in the clouds, to be named Cloud Cuckoo Land (Νεφελοκοκκυγία or Nephelokokkygia) " Al Sirat (or Bridge of Jehennam): bridge to paradise in Islamic/Muslim tradition. Only the good can pass swiftly over it. Or Alfhiem/ Elphame (it's norse, but it's neat?) and also "It is said that another heaven is to the southward and upward of this one, and it is called Andlang [Andlangr 'Endlong'] but the third heaven is yet above that, and it is called Vídbláin [Vídbláinn 'Wide-blue'] or Vindbláin (Vindbláinn 'Wind-blue') and in that heaven we think this abode is. But we believe that none but Light-Elves inhabit these mansions now." Vindblain might be fun? That's all I got. Uranus is a hard one to figure out places for. Good luck to you!
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:05 pm
Oh wow! Thanks Zipped! That is an awesome list right there!
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 3:25 pm
Hi Scowling! Here for a crit! I really enjoy that you’re questing for a Uranus knight!
Let’s just jump straight in.
The first thing I noticed is that you bounce back and forth between calling Rin by both Rin and Alex. Just for consistency I would stick with one or the other, if she prefers to go by Rin I’d go with that in the profile. You can always make a note in Nicknames that only her family or teachers call her Alex, if you like. : )
On to real things!
Hobbies: Overall are good! No issues here!
Virtues:
With Sure of Herself: It’s a good trait! Though as is it’s an internal trait, how is it noticeable by others? I.E. does her confident attitude help keep her from getting ‘down’ about what someone else might say/think or her? Is there a limit to her confidence?
Gung-Ho is fine! I wouldn’t mind hearing a little bit more about it though. Does she throw herself into a task/project completely until it’s done? What about with people? Would she be as enthusiastic about doing things with her friends (leading the charge in a shopping adventure, being excited about a concert she might camp out for tickets? Relentless in winning over a new friend?)
Optimistic is good!
Flaws:
Bullheaded: What if she disagrees with someone on something, would she be stubborn enjoy to refuse to see someone else’s reason?
Other flaws seem all good to me! Nothing to add here.
On the Powered!
I’m not sure on your weapon progression. Real weapons (swords/whips/spears/axes) are generally frowned upon for a knight. If the same concept works for a Nega, it’s not that suitable for a knight, whose weapons are more like objects/relics than really combative (passive items like armor, staffs and shields however can work). I don’t think a gauntlet-spear is really appropriate for a knight. A general loose rule to follow is that if in includes a sharp pointy bit, it's probably not going to work for a knight. A gauntlet is fine! It’s the spear part that’s off.
You could go leather gauntlet -> stronger/larger or fancier leather gauntlet with some armored bits -> metal gauntlet. Usually page/lt. weapons boarder on the side of useless and jokey items (examples: my own quests starts with a paper fan and a toy kaleidoscope). I think a leather gauntlet is fine, though it a little more practical than most so you might want minimize how much it advances as the captain stage. Or you could start with a more regular glove, leather bracer or cuff. Again, you don’t actually need to fix the page weapon, but it’s something to think about.
I think sticking with only a gauntlet will still work with the magic you have. If having a more ‘offensive’ weapon is something you’d really like, you might want to consider working towards some type of magical staff, or maybe a plain lasso. Personally I consider a lasso more or a binding object than a real weapon, so it could work though it is probably a better fit for a Saturn knight. If you have trouble coming up with a weapon that works for the faction and what you want to do, feel free to ask me and I’ll get my thinking cap on!
((As a side note, Bifrost's progressions is rings -> metal gloves -> metal bracers, right? A gauntlet is fairly similar, so I don't know if you really want to do something that is similar to a the weapon progression of a character you already have. Just something to consider and take into account when you revise your weapon choice/progression.))
On the magic. In general it seems fine. For the squire part. Does this disrupt ALL magic, like shields/area of effects, the target’s own attacks/magic and outside magic? That seems a little strong for a squire, even with the short time frame. It makes sense for me if it prevents the target from attacking because they might be tumbling/swirling around a lot. I’m not sure about preventing all outside magic. If the magic vortex wind kinda looks a bit like a cyclone/swirly air, knocking back weapons (or having weapons get caught up in the gale) seems fair enough! Allowing for other outside magic to take effect would probably allow for more interesting/ diverse battles.
Instead of writing ‘for roughly 15 seconds’ it should be ‘up to 15 seconds’.
For the Knight magic: How is the target determined? Why does the gale throw other people out of the way instead of throwing them up in the air like the desired target? That seems odd to me, but if you can explain how/why reasonably it could work.
Alternatively, you could add in the disrupting magic effects in now so that the gale is like an impenetrable tube of wind that protects allies from harm/ prevents an enemy from moving about/attacking.
Knight magic and weapons can be really tricky sometimes, so I hope you don't feel discouraged at all! In general I think what you have is a good start, it just needs a bit of modification!
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Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 11:39 pm
Mkay! I did some thinking about her design and thought it would be better if she used a staff? But have the gauntlet just as an armor piece and not part of the weapon itself. I hadn't considered that (as in some of her iterations it actually is her weapon), but I think that could work better? I just get this vision of AC standing guard with a staff in front of her. Or whacking someone in the head with it when they're being ridiculous. xD
So pole -> Ornatey pole - > very ornate staff?
I was also thinking, as her Wonder is a tower of winds, that her magic could revolve around wind direction instead of tornadoey things. So like. She could 'change' the wind direction in an area to knock people off balance? I will admit, Knight magic is kinda hard for me to grasp.
---
As for her civi side, I will totally do that with her name, since I'm going to use Rin more than Alex.
you can tell that she's got a confidence, because she'll mostly just brush off bad comments with a shrug. There is a limitation (and usually comes into play if someone drives a very low blow at her, or someone flat out tells her she's not up to par with anything), and you can see her facial expressions falter when that happens. She also tends to, want to book out of there very quickly.
She does! With people she tends to sometimes... barrel over them? And get annoyed if people dawdle with it. She wants things done, and done right away. If she's interested, she's usually really upbeat and the one to run ahead into the bookstore or the game store (not so much shoes, but you never know). She'd totally camp out for tickets.
Rin does have a tendency to totally negate other people's reasons for things. Most of the time she'd listen to it, and just not usually do what they say. Only in rare circumstances (like jumping off a bridge or something that makes her feel uncomfortable) will she truly ignore what they say.
-goes to add this in-
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 3:41 pm
In terms of personality, the fixes look good. I don’t think I thought about it much before, but now going over it again, Sure of herself clashes a bit with Afraid of being alone. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up on it previously. It’s this sentence “She worries constantly about whether people talk behind her back about her, or if they like her, or are just putting on a face” . That doesn’t sound like someone who is as sure of herself/confident as Rin seems in the virtue. Rather than focus on her worries of what other people think of her, I would go with something more about how Rin might be clingy or socially needy/ dependent. That being alone makes her uncomfortable, so maybe Rin is constantly inviting herself along to things, hanging around, i.e. imposing herself on others even when unwanted because that's better than being alone. (How does being alone make her feel?) OR you'd need to explain in that trait how she can be both confident in herself but also worrisome in how other people feel about her. I understand the reason is because she's afraid to be alone, and that she has a need for people to like her because of that, but I don't quite see how these two trait line up just yet.
With powered stuff!
Knight weapons and magic can be difficult, for sure. With magic, Knights tend to have more defensive or ‘buff’s type magic. Things that will effect people, like AoE type magic is good, so are buffs that increase or decrease an ally/enemies abilities or ‘stats’, and shield magic are generally the most popular and easiest to work with.
Changing the direction of wind, or harnessing it in order to knock things back/ keep them away seems reasonable! You could make a sort of wind tunnel effect, with everything in one direction for a certain distance feels a strong wind that blows them back to outside of that area. Or maybe a wind wall (somewhat like a shield) that blows away people/things that are too close to her/ make it hard to move closer. These are just really quickie ideas, so tinker around with whatever comes to mind for you and we’ll see what works when you have it up.
With the weapon, a staff will work perfectly fine!
You can do a plain pole if you like, that’ll do just fine! Though you’ll want to think about how it looks or will progress so that it is unique to your knight (ex: Hesperis also has a staff, but hers is blue and will become very tron/technical looking). Yours could have a directional compass type of etching on it, to represent wind directions or something.
or
I would highly recommend picking an object that might be a bit more unique for the page stage than a totally plain pole/staff though (and relate-able to your character!) Like you could do some kind of dance prop (a dance-cane, a rhythmic dance ribbon/baton thing, a wind-mill on a stick, etc.). That way when it grows elements of its previous form can show up in later stages (i.e a dancer’s ribbon/baton might grow into a staff with ribbony décor).
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 7:48 am
This is just a teeny side note, but I think you should shorten the Knight name to just Andronicus or Cyrrhestes. Andronicus Cyrrhestes is a bit too long, and would be difficult to cert. XD
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Posted: Sat Dec 24, 2011 9:25 pm
It can actually work. ^^; -points to herself- I am very confident and very sure of what I do, but I still fear what people think of me and if they talk behind my back. I don't want her to look clingy. She's not clingy so much as paranoid about it. I'll think on it though!
--
I thought about it for a while and I think a staff with a spiny top kinda like a weathervien on top, since her wonder is a tower of the winds, and her magic would align with it. :3
Thank you for your patience. I -suck- at buff style magic. :3
--
@Mouse: AH! I hadn't thought of that! Andronicus it is!
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Posted: Sun Sep 09, 2012 9:14 pm
In prep for posting her for marking, I've added to her traits a bit and put her name back to the way it was.
I think the Afraid to Be Alone trait now actually shows she's paranoid about it it and not clingy.
Hokies!
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Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2012 8:13 pm
Congratulations on your character slot! There are a few changes that need to be made before this is stamp-ready:
ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE ---
"Sure of Herself" and "Afraid of Being Left Alone" seem to be very opposite. That she is very self-confident but constantly paranoid about what people think of her is contradictory. Virtues and flaws are traits that others would attribute to your character - they need to be observable, and those two traits don't feel like they can be observable and attributed to on the same person.
However, if you re-emphasize her confidence to be about her ability, her work ethic, her interest, etc. rather than to "herself" (implying herself as a whole person) then that may work better. In this way, it would emphasize that she is confident in her ability but socially paranoid - sort of like a confident professional life a**-kicker and a personal life mess. As long as both sides are observable, that should be okay - if that is what you are looking for.
ON THE POWERED SIDE ---
Looks good mostly, but give some more details about the weapon abilities such as how its cast, clearer strength of the winds, and the radius or range for Knight level ability.
When you have finished with your revisions, feel free to quote me so I may take a look!
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 2:53 am
Thanks for the help with her civi side. I actually was going for what you were mentioning and I believe changed it accordingly, and changed the names of the traits to reflect that. As for her Knight side, I've added wind speeds, how she casts and channels it, and a range for the Knight ability. If anything else needs to be changed, please let me know!
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