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 Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 12:34 am
Lois and Clark, high school sweethearts, were driving down the lone country road en route to holiday with Clark's parents. Lois was nervous, having waited a long time to be introduced to her boyfriend's parents.
The couple were listening to music as they relaxed during the drive, when the car started making strange rattling noise.
"Oh no." Clark muttered. "Not here."
"What is it?" Lois asked. "What's wrong?"
Smoke started to drift up from underneath the hood and Clark swore, well swore as well as an adult Boy Scout (as Lois often called him) could. Clark answered, "I don't know. I knew we should have had the engine checked before we left!"
The car made one final rattling noise before it finally stopped alongside the road. Clark and Lois stepped out of the car and looked around.
There was only the one house within sight. Old and decrepit. It didn't look like anyone could possibly be living there, but they had to try. They started walking toward it...
Miss Walters, or Momma, as her boy liked to call her, watched the two young ones approach from far down the road.
"Weasley little brats." She muttered. She was hungry, as were her loving family. She hated kids, all kids, save for her own. She cast a glance over her shoulder at her oldest boy, her pride and joy.
He stepped from the dusty shadows, wearing a leather mask.
Momma smiled, "We must prepare a proper welcome, Raphael."
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 8:52 am
*Raphael adjusted his mask and examined it in a mirror. It was designed to look much like the face of a pig, but stitched from the skins "donated" by previous "guests" to the family feasts.*
*Raphael wasn't a bright boy. Indeed, he was a virtual mute. Oh, not literally. He grunted and wheezed, and Momma always seemed to understand him. Sometimes his siblings could comprehend what he was "talking" about, but no outsiders. Of course, it didn't matter, because they USUALLY didn't stay long anyway. Momma promised that one day, he'd be able to keep the right one as a pet, sure. And they DID need some grandbabies, right? But still. They needed food more.*
*Raph didn't ponder these things, though. All he thought about was doing what Momma told him. He hefted his chainsaw, and grunted his assent, ready to follow her a-huntin'.*
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 1:06 pm
::Lois rubbed hands together in pleasure and had to hold back an evil laugh. Her plan worked perfectly! Now she would expose Clark Kent for Superman once and for all!
Lois, intrepid college reporter, had long suspected her boyfriend was Superman but she could never catch him at it. Then, through her contacts, she heard about rumors of a murder house with a family full of cannibals. It sounded ridiculous but it had give Lois an idea.
She would plan the route to Smallville to go past the murder house. In the last town before the house, Lois would sabotage the car. With luck, the engine would give out near the house. Then, one of two things would happen. Either the stories would be false and Lois could write a nice little story about it or...the stories would be true and Clark would have to reveal his secret to her.
AND IT WORKED EVEN BETTER THAN SHE COULD IMAGINE!::
Hurry up, Clark, we have to reach that house!
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 4:02 pm
Momma kept low in the bushes. She could hear the car and the high pitched annoying whine of a female.
"Momma is the only girl around these parts." She huffed.
She adjusted her apron and hair. She knew she wasn't as pretty as she had been even if the boys always told her different. She was the most harmless looking one.
"I'm gonna go up and say hello. If they make a break for it hunt them down." Jen gave a big grin and patted her boy's head. "Stay quiet for now my precious."
Momma knew that this was their turf. All around the area for miles was her family. Her cousins, sons, brothers and uncles. Anywhere they went for help would lead them back to her house. She was going to have some nice stew she was sure of that.
She stepped out on the road seeing the car come to a complete stop. She gave a glance back to her Raph to make sure he was staying put and he was busy watching the new people with interest.
'That boy, he sure does wanna girlfriend, don't he?' She sighed and put on her best Southern Hospitality face.
"Well Hi there. You kids need some help thar?"
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Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2011 7:21 pm
::Clark escorted Lois up the front walk towards the smiling woman. She looked harmless enough but Clark's superhearing let him in on what the woman told her son. This 'family' was dangerous.
Oh, Lois, Clark thought to himself. So beautiful, so transparent. As soon as she had chosen the 'scenic route' to Smallville, Clark had known something was up. It didn't take much research for him to turn up the 'murder house in the middle of nowhere.' Urban legends swirled around the place. At first Clark had thought Lois planned to write a story about the place and planned the route home so she get a look and a photograph of it.
But he saw her sabotage the sparkplugs with his x-ray vision at the last Gas and Go they were at. They had done this dance a hundred times. Lois was putting them in danger so she could find out if he was Superman.
This one may be a little trickier but Clark thought he could bag these killers AND teach Lois a lesson all at once.::
Hello, ma'am. We sure could use a phone if you have one. Our car broke down.
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 7:15 am
*Raph nodded and laughed like a big baby as Momma gave him his orders, then he hunkered down in the bushes and watched with rapty curiousity while Momma went to deal with the strangers. Being the massive guy he was, one wouldn't THINK he could be so stealthy, and yet . . . . he was practically an inbred, hillbilly ninja.*
*He fingered the trigger to his chainsaw, but didn't jerk the start-up rope. No, no, there was no sense in alerting anyone to anything. 'Course, if he knew that this man already KNEW he was there, he'd spring out, orders or no. No sense in staying hid from a man you can't hide from is there?*
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Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:21 pm
"Darlin' my phone is up in my house and just a little bit of a bad connection." Jen sighed. She eyed up the man, he seemed strong. Although no-one had been able to beat her strength as of yet. All her young had such wondrous gifts from the hills.
"My Bruce could come by and take y'all to his garage. He's my cousin y'know and a mechanic." Jen smiled. 'He also really loved her pie, guess she were making pie tonight instead of stew.'
She didn't like the way this guy was looking at the bushes. Jen frowned, maybe her so called ninja of a son had messed up.
"Now, little lady, will ya be wanting to freshin' up will y'all wait." Jen said to the girl. "My room is probably the cleanest in my house. My boys sure do seem like a wrecking crew, I'm gone rush off my feet all day."
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 7:54 am
Ahhh, good old Uncle Bruce. Well, that what the kids called him, not knowing the actual familial roadmap, and not caring even if they did. They just knew he was a lot of fun to be around.*
*Raph sometimes felt just a tiny bit jealous of Bruce, because . . . Raph was strong, sure. But he couldn't hold a candle to his uncle, damn it.*
*After a moment, Raph shifted his attention from four-eyes to the pretty lady escorting him. She was real easy on the eyes. Maybe, just maybe tjhey could keep this one. But the man loooked a little scrawny, so it might not do well to get his hopes up.*
*Just the same, Lois had his undivided attention.*
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 6:30 pm
"This here is a little mining town, we don' git many folks coming by here, certainly not High school kids." Jen said getting into her most hospitable way. "Ah wonder is it Spring Break you kids are on?"
She didn't really trust why these people had come. They never really got visitors it had always been hard work to try and tempt people up into the hills with diversions, or Bruce driving them up in his break-down van. It was strange that they had just driven into the hills with the nuclear contamination warning signs. Either that or one of her boys had been playing pranks again and taking them all down and repositioning signs. Ah, her kids were so great, not like these nosy looking strangers.
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 7:10 pm
"Freshen up? That sounds great"
::Lois flashed her most brilliant smile, thinking to herself that "freshening up" would be an excellent excuse to be nosey explore the house without interruption or without Clark messing up things by tripping or knocking something over.::
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 7:16 pm
::Clark smiled easily.::
Just on the way home to introduce Lois here to my parents, ma'am. And we're actually college freshman. We're high school sweethearts.
Thank you for your hospitality. If the repairs to the car take long enough, maybe Lois can whip you up a batch of her famous muffins as a thank you. Lois's cooking is unforgettable.
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 4:49 pm
Jen frowned... they wanted to use her kitchen? That was her domain...no one used momma's kitchen... not even her daughter-in-laws, not that they ever lived long enough to try.
"I'm sorry, no one uses my kitchen but me... my boys know my rules." Jen said as nicely as she could. "Well, let's get you up to the house. You just happened to stop right on my road, just follow this dirt track up and we'll see my humble little abode."
Jen pointed to the looming dark house that was tatty but looked well maintained. She was glad that the main house didn't have any of her boy's sculptures, they were all in the attic and there were much worse things in the cellar.
"College kids huh? I swear you kids look so young these days I kin ne'er tell. Not that we get many new folks aroun' here."
A small green kid came running down the hill with a knife and Jen stepped in front of him yelling. "What d'I tell ye about running wit' sharp objects..."
"But Momma I wus gonna help."
"Hush now what nonsense, I'll skelp yer lugs for coming here with a knife, ye can help by going up and warn the boys to tidy up, some company is coming to use the phone and freshening up."
"Not eat?"
"No Son, not for a while, supper might not be till evening." Jen turned round. "Littl' whipper snapper, could have had someone's eye out. I do declare I am constantly on watch with these boys....all they think about is food." She tried to laugh it off. She slipped the knife into her apron and carried on leading the way up the road. She gave a quick glance to the bushes and hoped her Eldest understood what was going on.
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 8:02 pm
*Raph had a general idea of what the story was. He knew that these here strangers weren't going to be needing their car any more. So, he waited until they were out of earshot before he started to move that somewhere that it could be properly disposed of when they had more time. Uncle Bruce could part it out, or just smash the darned thing. The important thing was that Lois and Clark not have it to get away in.*
*After that was done, he followed back to the house, but didn't come inside just yet. Momma was bein' nice to these two. That meant she musta thought they had to be killed in some sneakier way than just a good chainsawin', and Raph . . . he wasn't too good at subtlety. So . . . he just watched and waited for the time when he was needed. But damned if he didn't wanna kill ol' Four-Eyes!*
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 5:45 am
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