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[Q] Hotaru the Nogitsune [READY for crits]

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Kaiki

Distinct Shapeshifter

PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 3:48 pm


AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORM

Name: Hotaru (full name undisclosed)
Nicknames: Ho, Hotty (neither of which she appreciates), Taru
Gender: Female
Age: 15 years

Faction: Demon
Race: Nogitsune (dark fox spirit)

Natural Ability: Foxfire, the ability to produce illusory fire from thin air, typically localized at the tail tips. It just looks cool and intimidating as opposed to actually being harmful to anything.

Personality: Hotaru is quiet and cautious and usually seems distracted or deep in thought. While her personality doesn't always attract a lot of attention, her outward appearance makes her difficult to ignore. She secretly enjoys all the energy being sent her way, but she is still outwardly embarrassed. Beginning to let go some because she no longer needs to concentrate on maintaining human form consciously, her real personality is starting to come out. While generally keeping her facade of a well-behaved girl, her desire to take risks can't always be kept hidden.

This girl is desperate to defend the honor of her clan. Centuries of living as nobility have left them with a reputation of being "soft," and lacking in the essential foxy skills of craftiness and trickery. Unfortunately for Hotaru, she pretty much embodies everywhere her clan has gone wrong.

She's very bookishly smart, and something of a teacher's pet. Working hard in school usually takes precedence over most other things, and she has little appreciation for other kinds of knowledge, like street smarts. As a result, she's rather easy to trick, though she never falls for the same scheme twice. Although it's rather unfoxy of her, she also gets riled quite easily.

Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy? In her particular clan, growing a third tail is a rite of passage wherein young foxes can decide what they want to do in life. Hotaru has chosen to develop her abilities because she has grown incredibly bored with the soft, noble lifestyle. The idea of being able to maintain human form without heavy concentration was also very appealing. Fox form reminds her too much of the monsters she was raised to look down on.

FEAR Ability: Foxfire: Hotaru summons a small ball of "fire" and directs it at an opponent. This typically results in a slight warming sensation that's a bit therapeutic to allies, and a bit confusing to foes.

Physical Description:

(human form)
Eye Colour: Yellow
Hair Colour/Style: Vibrant red, straight, mid-back length
Skin Colour: Very pale, almost white
Clothing Style/Colours: Action-style kimono in the colors and patterns of fire (see reference below) and a large, black furry ruff on the collar. Also has a slit up the side for better mobility and room for her tails
Extra: Three long, luxurious black tails with white tips, eerie eyes with slit pupils similar to a cat, black ears ending in white tips on the top of her head, long claw-like nails and extended fangs
References: Little tektek avatar I've been messing with (please ignore the colors):
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
Good example of unique "action-style kimono" clothing item:
Large image

(fox form)
Eye Color: Yellow
Fur Color: Jet black
Extra: Has three white-tipped tails, and white tipped ears.

(Crits are very much welcomed!)
PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 5:02 pm


Alright, a couple of things here.

As far as natural abilities go, you're going to have to pick one. First year students can only have one natural ability.

Now for personality... there's not really much for me to go off there. XD How would one befriend her? What is her initial impression upon people? How does she react to others flirting with her? Insults? You have a very very very bare bone personality there and it doesn't really give too good of an idea of what she's like.

Also, be aware that playing a more introverted character can be a bit difficult at times, so it would be good to think about how people reach her or vice versa.

Blade Kuroda

Militant Raider


Kaiki

Distinct Shapeshifter

PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 5:16 pm


Blade Kuroda
Alright, a couple of things here.

As far as natural abilities go, you're going to have to pick one. First year students can only have one natural ability.

Now for personality... there's not really much for me to go off there. XD How would one befriend her? What is her initial impression upon people? How does she react to others flirting with her? Insults? You have a very very very bare bone personality there and it doesn't really give too good of an idea of what she's like.

Also, be aware that playing a more introverted character can be a bit difficult at times, so it would be good to think about how people reach her or vice versa.


Hmm, do I have to pick the foxfire as the ability if I want her to be able to summon fire? I'm having trouble leaving shapeshifting behind completely since she's actually a fox in human form. Is it a natural ability to shapeshift if it's a habit?

And yeah, I didn't want to write a novel on personality, but I see what you mean. xD;;
PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 5:17 pm


Yes.

And well... At school, all students are given a humanoid form regardless if they know shapeshifting. This is what the skull pin is all about. When worn, it keeps the student in a humanoid body. Students with shapeshifting can switch forms at will without needing the pin. Those without shapeshifting revert to their true forms upon removing them.

Also, being concise is good but gotta give a little more than that. XD

Blade Kuroda

Militant Raider


Kaiki

Distinct Shapeshifter

PostPosted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 5:37 pm


Ah, you're a dear for explaining all that to me. Thanks, I'll keep all that in mind and make some edits. whee
PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2011 9:42 am


One other thing - as this is a school, I believe it's a requirement for characters to be physically, or at least mentally, school-aged. You have her listed as being 300-odd years old, and describe her as a 'woman' in her personality- when she should really still be a girl!

I think the youngest student in the school is Jove who is...13? 12? Not sure. Oldest I believe should be ~17. Most are around 14-16. This is of course mostly important mentally but I think demons age at the same rate as humans?

Just wanted to point that out!

Ravvlet
Crew

Hygienic Waffles


Kaiki

Distinct Shapeshifter

PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 9:46 am


Ravvlet
One other thing - as this is a school, I believe it's a requirement for characters to be physically, or at least mentally, school-aged. You have her listed as being 300-odd years old, and describe her as a 'woman' in her personality- when she should really still be a girl!

I think the youngest student in the school is Jove who is...13? 12? Not sure. Oldest I believe should be ~17. Most are around 14-16. This is of course mostly important mentally but I think demons age at the same rate as humans?

Just wanted to point that out!
I was thinking mentally 15-ish, though it looks like my wording betrayed me on that one.

Are you positive that that's the rule for aging on demons? Kitsune spirits are said to live for thousands of years, so 300 seemed about the right age. According to the demon info page, Kitsunes count as demons, so I'm not sure if I can use a different age scale... Hmm.

Thanks for the feedback. ^^
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 1:53 pm


For the aging thing, I'd ask Pach and/or Lil since they have the existing Kitsune characters (Tomoko and Remi respectively) in the shop on how they tackled that so there's no conflicting info there.

Blade Kuroda

Militant Raider


Kaiki

Distinct Shapeshifter

PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 6:37 pm


Lil made a good point to me-- There's different Kitsune clans, and it's possible for them to have different lifespans from clan to clan. I'm just not sure if I want to change the age. I like it a lot, and I feel that it corresponds to a particular legend where a kitsune will grow a new tail every hundred years.

Then again, I gotta respect existing shop canon. I've changed it. :3
PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:25 pm


I heard the questing fairy was on the loose, so I don't want this on the third page. xp

Kaiki

Distinct Shapeshifter

Reply
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