Welcome to Gaia! ::

Zac made a startled sound, rocking his chair hard as he sat back with nearly enough force to give himself whiplash. He hadn’t been expecting company, and to be honest he’d nearly been asleep on his desk, head nearly touching the paper when the first hint of cigarette smoke tickled his nose.

His heart thundered in his chest with a skittishness that lingered after recent events and he had to catch his breath for a moment from the surprise. The look on Ever’s face was not a good one, s**t…s**t he’d never fetched that note from the back of Sabine’s copy of the note book, what if… or maybe it was that they hadn’t really talked after the BMC upset. He was honestly at a bit of a loss for what was likely wrong for once.

He rubbed a palm at his eyes as the headache tried to settle in behind his eyes again. “… uh…” He said trying to kick-start his mind back into action. “Hi!”

Not the most eloquent moment he’d ever had.

Brows knit and eyes narrowed into a well-practiced frown. What the HELL kind of a question was that? Not in the least one he’d expected that was for certain. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He demanded flat out, he was tired as hell, shaken up, and spit out and while he might have normally returned an equally ‘veiled hostility’ answer he just wasn’t in the ‘mood’ for it.

He shifted in the chair and looked Ever over, overtired looking, cranky, nicotine deprived? No, from the smell he doubted that, hangover maybe. “Is this, about the BMC mission?” He said bluntly. What else could it be? After all, he rather doubted his promotion had made it very far just yet, not with it having been done behind closed doors. He’d been wrong before though, and lately he felt he’d been wrong more often then right.

His jaw hung open for a moment, and shut slowly with a small exhale. “…. AH.” He said and glanced away. He gave a heavier sigh and leaned back in his chair still not meeting Ever’s eyes, uncomfortable and uneasy. He glanced up at the smoke detector and stood, taking the chair with him and tried to retrieve the battery before he landed in more trouble with people that he didn’t…care about.

“To be fair, she was upset before she knew it was you I was … liberating. I wasn’t playing KEEPER, she’d have killed us both if I just said…” he stopped and closed his eyes, opened them again and continued working on the smoke detector, trying to be sure he didn’t set off the alarm that it had been tampered with.

“…Alright, fine, playing keeper. I’m sorry that I didn’t, god damnit.” He sighed and got off the chair again with a sigh. What was there that he could even start to say. “Ever…” He started to say, and stopped again. “Ever she’d have been as angry no matter who I bartered for. She put me on trail, do well in my next mission or be ‘punished’. Not telling her I was saving you, was just a stay of… of execution, and it kept us from joining Charonite and Nealite as ornamental figures.”

“Do you hate me for it? Or…are you angry that I didn’t tell you?” He asked uncertain. It was not, probably, a proper tone for a General King; but it was there.

Never had a face run so many emotional gambits in under a minute. It was something between a gawk, a denial, an affirmation and the cumulative ‘uncomfortable silence’ that should have filled the spaces in between as he looked for a good ‘dodge’ from having to answer that one way or another. The face combined with the half executed body language was the answer to a full body ‘sputter’.

“Ever…” he said at last, a sort of exasperated sigh as he sat down and watched wires be pulled. “Ever, I didn’t want you DEAD, I didn’t want anyone dead but I don’t want YOU dead, I don’t want you as a statue, I don’t want to be told to KILL you I don’t want that.” He sighed, exhausted and rested his head against the back of the chair.

“Would you have been less mad if I showed up on your doorstep and said ‘oh by the way’ or would you have been angry that I was bragging?” One question with no right answer met by another. “I was trying to keep from dragging you or anyone else down WITH me.”

It wasn’t a yes, but it wasn’t a ‘no’ either. It was probably the most ‘Zac’ answer he could have given considering his rather bitter views on the subject of ‘Love.’

A frustrated sigh, “Diplomatic and I still feel…walled in.” He looked pained. “I care about you… is that enough to scare you off?” He lashed out, tense as the strings of his violin should have been. But he’d destroyed that, probably a lot of things.

“No I don’t think it will be a problem again, yes, I will be harder on you than ANYONE else which may drive you off on its own, YES I should have told you, NO I didn’t’ think about it and YES, I was trying not to worry you which was PROBABLY arrogant on my part.” He let it all tumble out in a frustrated and not at all diplomatic moment.

From a civilian perspective he wanted, of all things, to pin Ever to a wall, and probably be ridiculous and cry. From Zinkenite’s perspective…he expected loss. He didn’t like loss, he didn’t want loss, he wanted something solid but not quite.

“...We…spoke, to Beryl, but I’ll understand if you want …” Nothing quite came out, it all seemed either too defeatist, or too passive aggressive. “God DAMNIT Ever just speak your mind. I wanted you ******** SAFE is that so god damned BAD?”

“Right…don’t save your life from Psychotic queen…absolutely noted.” He laughed, just a little hysterical and took a breath to calm down. Maybe, just maybe nearly being a Youma got to him more than he wanted to admit.
“Ah…Christ.” He cursed, half towards the cheep wooden back of his chair and half at the world. “If you wanted to report to someone else I’d understand…mostly.” He took a deep breath and rested his chin on the chair back. His eyes met Ever’s nearly black ones and then drifted away again, guilty.

“… Should have told you, I didn’t want to worry you though.” He rolled his head back staring at the celling. “It’s no wonder we’re outnumbered, if she had her way…” He stopped himself again. It was ‘unprofessional’ probably to rant that way.

“…Christ I haven’t even told Lyra yet…Who, who told you? What did they say?” He could at least guess one of the General queen’s, he doubted Beryl would have said anything and left Ever alive to complain about it. “... or maybe I don’t want to know.” He said after a moments thought. Did he know he was very nearly something inhuman?
“I figured she was just going to…” he didn’t finish the thought. How could he make things better? How could he even explain, could he even start to? He stood and moved to sit on the bed beside Ever, like it or not. The most he did after that though was nudge his fingers over Ever’s and hold his hand.
That much at least, he wanted…that much at least what was left, needed.

“No scales, not anymore.” He said firmly and gave a small shudder, though after a moment, with the fingers moving against his he gave a small laugh, glancing away again as he was want to do when he said something that was really only ‘ok’ when he was in civilian clothes, and even then made him nervous.

“Unless you want to double check.” He let his gaze drift back with a dry sort of smile that would have done the BBC proud. Good to know though, good to know that Tanzanite had been willing to ‘be involved’ when Ever had become rather a ‘high risk’ project for him. Maybe the best ones were. Better perhaps than any padlock weighing as a reminder around his neck… more biding but at the same time more ‘comfortable, no matter how nervous it made him, likely made both of them.