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Alright so this will not be much of a rant. It's more of a "this is what I'm thinking about" post.

Alright so in the past.........I'd say in the past 3 weeks, I have changed drastically. I've changed more now than I have in my life time. But that's not what I'm here to discuss.

So I've noticed that my change into a person, a person that is now religious, has caused some people to....question things. Like they question why I am becoming this way and why I waited so long. Now to top it all off, they find it necessary to make sarcastic and rude comments that I take offense too. The find it necessary to pretty much mock me because of the way I am becoming.

For an example:
I was with some friends. It was when I was first changing, so it was a new thing for them. Well they were talking about this picture of a rather attractive celeb and asked my opinion. Well I glanced at it because I knew that if I looked long enough I would lust about the picture. I'm a guy and it's a reaction that I am all to familiar with. Well I told them this and one of the friends, whom I consider a sister, decided to make the following comment.
"What is wrong with you? Why change now after 18 years? I don't understand and I think you overreacted." Now this got to me. She mocked me because I'm bettering myself. She said that she was joking but it was sarcastic and you don't joke like that.

Another example:
I came home today and was talking with my mom. I told her that I know what I want to do in the next year or two with my journey. I want to take what I learn and disciple someone. Pretty much teach them what I know and do like Bible Study. I also want to do summer projects. Where you go somewhere and help people and teach them about God. Like a missionary trip. Now this is where it gets good, and by good I mean turns to complete and utter crap.
She said why do you want to do that? So I gave her my answer. Then she turns around and says, "Sometimes I wonder if you are doing all of this for attention. To make new friends and belong with people. To socialize. To get attention and put on a front like you did 2 years ago."

Recap on what happened two years ago:
I have manic depression. I was given medicine to treat it. It made me high. I liked the feeling. So I would lie and say it didn't work and made up fake problems to get new pills. Since the old ones didn't work and I liked the feeling of being high, I did this trick, and I regret it. There's more to it but it shall not be mentioned. Just stuff for attention.

Ok now back to the thing with my mom. This made me made because she is using what I did 2 years ago to make judgements now and to fuel her ideas. Yeah I know that it is expected, but she said that the past is the past and since I changed she will not bring it up anymore. What I'm doing IS a big change in a small period of time, but what she said was wrong. Why would I go through all of this for no reason. I truly love and accept Jesus, I believe in what I'm becoming, and it's the new me. So I figured that my mom would support me and what not, but apparently that is wrong. Even my step dad thinks this.

So to move on everyone that I know is surprised about me becoming a Christian, and it hasn't sunk in yet. They never would've thought it would happen.

So the point of this "rant" is to get my thoughts out there. It's pretty said that I can't change without someone doubting me. That they act like it's wrong that I'm doing this (not all of them are like that). That some things it's a front. I find it pathetic that people make sarcastic and mocking comments about it and can't even apologize when I point it out. And if they do respond to what I mention, they make it out to seem like it's not as bad as what it really is and that it wasn't serious. It's complete bs that people can't accept change when it's presented to them.

You can post your comments about this, but I know what I have and will do. I know what to think and how to act. But your comments are appreciated smile .

Yes I am 3nodding
Why do you ask?

Because I felt as if you had a comment about it.

That kind of caught my attention. I'm not saying what you are doing isn't for the good of yourself, but it does sound like you are expecting people to just agree with your way of things. I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong, who are we to say what's right? I'm just saying if you use such phrases and absolutes, people won't like that and they may mock you for it. Other than that pretty much the same as Heliko, these people are basically dealing with a different you now so it's going to take them time to believe you and adjust to how you are now.

Thanks. smile I guess I was kind of expecting everything to just sink in and be smooth. But apparently I'm wrong since it's obvious that it didn't. We'll see how it turns out.

Ugh, sometimes change catches people off guard. It took my friends awhile to get used to it when I started being more open with my religion... If that's the right way to phrase it. But eventually they figured out I'm the same air-headed, open minded girl I've always been. Its hard... but giving them time to adjust might help, I'm sure they will get used to it in time~ 3nodding

Cool beans~ Its good to hear that 3nodding