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 Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:54 am
 Name: Aithne Byrne
Nickname: ew, no thanks
Age: 18
Birthday: December 23rd
Sign: Capricorn
Gemstone: Tanzanite/Turquoise
Blood Type: O -
Fav. Food: a foodie, she likes a lot of different foods, though has a soft sport for fish and chips.
Hated Food: she's not picky, will eat almost anything.
School: Destiny City University
Hobbies:
Archery Archery is her talent and favorite sport. Aithne has been practicing since she was a child. She likes the quiet and concentration involved in the sport and excels at it. Though it's clear she is talented, she doesn't take part in competitions anymore. Aithne took up archery as a child and spent long days training, seeking to be the best. It was her childhood dream to become the best. However, no matter how much talent she had, no matter how much effort she put in, no matter how hard or long she spent practicing, Aithne never won first. At a fairly young age, she learned that even if you practice hard, even if you have talent, there is always someone out there who practices harder, someone who has more talent. All her hard work and all her talent, none of this would never give her the results she wanted because there was always someone better. Hard work doesn't make dreams come true. Resigning herself to this, she quit competitive archery. After all, if she couldn't achieve her dream, there was no meaning for her to continue. Aithne doesn't compete anymore but still shoots when she has time or needs to relieve stress. Nothing like shooting something full of arrows.
Riding She rides in an Eastern Saddle but prefers bareback. Often rides in the mountains outside Destiny City. She has a single horse. This horse, a gray Andalusian named Camulus, is also the one she rides in competitions. Aithne and Camulus have a very strong bond. They are partners in Dressage competitions. She doesn't compete as much anymore, preferring to keep Camulus as her riding horse and companion. Unlike archery, Dressage wasn't ever a dream for her, just a hobby for her to enjoy.
Virtues:
Adaptable - Aithne is able to adapt to new situations and developments. She takes changes with relative ease. She's not afraid of change, rather she accepts that change is inevitable and out of her control. You know the old saying? "If you can't beat them, join them." That's how Aithne views situations. You do what you can and when you can't do anything more, go with the flow.
Quick Wit/Impulse Reactions - She has a snappy mouth and quick mind. She solves problems and puzzles pretty quickly. Aithne likes to make puns and witty jokes. Her quick thinking is probably what allows her to haul a** so fast. It's not that she's super smart, or what not, she's just a quick thinker. Normally a positive trait, under pressure and what she perceives to be a personal attack, Aithne is liable to snap back with the first thing that pops into her mind. Normally an it's an attack or insult. Can't say that does anything for her popularity...
Steadfast - She has a strict set of morals, personal rules, that she sticks to and follows. Though they might be convoluted, (she prioritizes her own safety above everything else), she will not go against these morals. She keeps her promises and honors any pact she makes. Among those pacts is the unspoken vow to help people whom she can help with her Sailor powers. But only in life and death circumstances. And only if she thinks she can win. If they're not in danger of death, then, well, it won't kill them. To those who have earned her trust, she is offers unwavering loyalty and support. To those who do not have Aithne's trust or respect, she offers you nothing.
Independent - She is a strong, independent girl. Aithne does not like relying on anyone and tries not too. She is (or read: likes to believe she is) self-reliant and self-sufficient. She always tries to solve her problems on her own and not get other involved in her troubles, especially strangers. Aithne also prefers to work alone, teamwork brings up a whole set of issues that are too troublesome to work out most of the time. For example, what if she causes someone injury? What if someone causes her injury? Who will take responsibility for that?
Flaws:
Callous - Aithne doesn't like to get involved in things beyond her perceived "duty". If she's the only one in the vicinity that can help, and this is a life or death situation, she'll probably step up. But if there are other people nearby who can and will help, or if the situation isn't dire, she will step away from the danger and let others take care of it. Most of the time if Aithne places herself in danger for someone else, it is actually truly for herself. It's to protect her honor or her pride. She disregards situations where she does not have anything to gain, or loose. Her personal belief is that you have to clean up your own messes.
Impudent - She has a stubborn sense of independence that's tied to her ego. Aithne won't give you more respect than she thinks you deserve. She doesn't like to be chained down with obligations or forced into teams that require loyalty and dedication. Aithne likes to work by herself because she thinks she works better herself. It's not that she dislikes people, it's just she thinks getting involved in partnerships makes you weaker. Especially when teams are unbalanced. Why should she shoulder someone else's weakness? Why should someone shoulder her weakness? Besides, being part of a team means trusting the other members. To trust is to rely on, and to rely on someone is weakness.
Me First - No lies, Aithne is an egotistical person. She prefers the word "realistic", but that's getting into syntactics. She values her hind over everything else. Preserving her ego, pride and general well-being is her top priority. Unless you've extracted an oath or promise from her, she's always liable to turn on you in dangerous situations, especially when things start looking grim. Don't expect her to tough it out with you just because you're both senshi.
Judgmental - She judges people. A lot. All the time. Aithne's probably always forming judgements on people. The first impression really matters a lot to her, she judges people (and books) by their covers. Dreadlocks? Rainbow dreadlocks? Rainbow dreadlocks in pastel? Keep 200m radius please. Aithne is well aware of how other perceive her and her Sailor-self and it doesn't bother her. But when someone close to her, someone who she really trusts, starts to judge her and doubt her actions it is really hurtful.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Eyes: slate-gray
Hair: auburn hair (reference for shade) in a boho braid
Face: derp derp
Body: she's light skinned but not pale or unhealthy, she's had plenty of sunlight. no freckles, beauty marks, scars or anything. has a very regal bearing.
Clothes: my name is mins and I have no fashion sense. lets reference fashion blogs instead outfit 1 [white version] or outfit 2 both with these boots in black and sheer pinstripe stockings like this.
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:55 am
 Senshi: Sailor Crux, the Southern Cross, Senshi of Absolution
Challenge: Repent.
Fuku Colour: Lots of freedom with her design. You can use the references at the bottom if you want, but pretty much lots of artist freedom. o/
Fuku:
Sleeves -- yes
Brooch -- artistic freedom, maybe a stylized high cross/celtic cross?
Bottoms -- shape reference not including the belt/clincher thing. a solid colored skirt with a layer of lace underneath, peaking out + stockings with crosses on both sides
Choker -- cravat
Shoes -- boots, no heels
Gloves -- fingerless gloves?? qq
In her senshi form, Aithne's hair is not in a braid.
inspiration (please don't give her really absurd shoulders though, I will cry emotion_0A0 ) and more inspiration
Attacks:
Note: for her decrease enmity attacks, they effect whoever Aithne views as an enemy. When affected by her attacks, the person will loose the motivation or reason to hurt Aithne. It can effect both Negaverse and Senshi. For both attacks, effect depends on two factors. Distance from Aithne, and strength of character's convictions. Level or strength will of course have an effect on the effectiveness, but what's more important is how strongly an enemy feels about harming her. Someone who is not as motivated might find them wiped entirely of enmity towards her, while someone with strong feelings would only feel a slight decrease. The effect lasts depending on her strength and stamina. The decrease enmity doesn't end immediately but rather slowly ebbs away as she gets farther and farther away.
Sailor Scout Attack: Absolution
Slightly decrease enmity of people she touches that remain within 2m radius. The effect starts to taper once she moves outside the 50m (a distance a normal person can close in 6~8 seconds) radius, fully dissolving after she is 50m away from the target. Assuming no one moves outside a 50m radius, the attack lasts for 15 seconds give or take depending on her stamina.
She can only target a single person with this skill. She can use it three times in a battle, but cannot target the same person twice.
Casting Motion: None. Aithne touches the target with the intent to decrease enmity.
Super Sailor Scout Attack: Divine Absolution
Decrease enmity of all people within a 3m radius. Similar to the other attack, once a person steps outside a 2m radius but is within the 50m radius, the effect starts to taper. Once outside the 50m radius it disappears.
This attack saps her stamina as she maintains it. She can hold the effect for 30 seconds and can only be used once or after a 30 minute interval.
Casting Motion: Aithne touches her senshi brooch with both hands and says "Divine Absolution".
Eternal Sailor Attack: Southern Cross
A cross of bright lightning appears behind her briefly. It sends three waves of lightning energy out within a 10ft radius that has a knock-back effect for enemies within the radius. A barrier forms around her and extends to two allies within a 5ft radius. For 30 seconds, it deflects basic level attacks. However, for an attack by someone above basic levels, half the damage is absorbed by the barrier, and half is transferred to Aithne. While within the barrier's space, she cannot move. People within the area of effect can move out, but cannot return inside if the leave. Only support skills work within the barrier.
Southern Cross costs stamina. After using it Aithne will be out-of breath and a little dizzy/lightheaded. She may use it more than once in secession, but if the second attack is done without at least 10 mins of rest then she'll be breathless and light-headed. Practically on the verge of fainting.
Casting Motion: With her left hand touching her senshi brooch, Aithne reaches out with her right arm towards the sky and calls out "Southern Cross".
Fighting Style Strategic Retreat! Aithne is physically healthy and fit, but she doesn't know much hand-to-hand. Since her first two attacks are passive, Aithne isn't able to deal damage to youma or Negaverse agents and needs either the support of someone else or to just skedaddle. Though her personality isn't conductive to a partnership at all...
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 6:01 am
weapon if senshi's got weapons hers would either be a long bow.
other spheres please don't make me use these emotion_facepalm
duty first two attacks will be the same, but instead of effecting people based on conviction, it will dispel the bonds of duty that bind people.
other
- despite her power and cross motifs, she's not religious.
- of scottish/irish descent as if all of the glaring references dropped all over the place didn't point that out
- is pretty privileged and knows it
- hi here's an fst
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 8:20 am
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 7:12 am
still working on a few things like senshi design and personality, dear word help me but other than that open for crits/comments. I hope this sphere is okay. emotion_0A0
Mostly looking for feedback on powers! There isn't that much personality for you guys to comment on anyways.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 7:52 am
um um i'd need to see more info on the virtues/flaws to be able to comment on them
for the hobbies, why did she feel like they had no meaning? would that relate in some way to a virtue or flaw? (like, does she dislike the negative feelings that competing can bring, or does she not feel the need to show off? or does she not care about what other peoples options are on her skill?)
also umm why do the sports appeal to her? /what aspect of them
aand yeah no senshi don't have weapons. that's for the negaverse (and knights i believe)
--
oop, also looking at her attacks, i get the first two but the third seems to be very disconnected. why would a sphere about forgiveness attack the enemy? (maybe if after the attack, the same animosity feeling was given? like penance then absolution?)
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 8:48 am
Hi Min~
I'd like to suggest that when you have a few seconds to run around and look at already approved profiles to get a feel of how virtues/flaws are normally written. Right now what's written is basically a definition.
Questions that might help you fall along the lines of the following:
(Hypothetically speaking lets say your character is bold.) Well okay why are they bold? What do they do that makes them appear to be this way? Does this help them or does it hinder them? Why?
Also when writing flaws/virtues it's important to consider if this affects their everyday life. If it doesn't then it maynot be the best flaw/virtue to use.
I hope this helps some~
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:02 am
@amicable
Obviously flaws + design are the big WIP areas. I'm mostly looking for feedback on her senshi powers, since there's already a senshi of forgiveness floating around? Don't want to get attached only to be shot down.
Will work in more details about hobbies though! Thanks for feedback.
As for her powers, the first version I had of her Eternal power was just a modified version of the other two. But Vamps told me that its a totally different spell, so I wanted to move away from enmity/passive skills. Thought process was highly based off absolution's religious connotations and partly the fact that Crux is also known as the Southern Cross. Absolution allows you to let go of your sins in return for doing penance. But on the flip side, no one has to grant you absolution even if the Church mostly forgives everyone and they can punish you instead. Like, without absolution you burn in hell/God punishes you blah blah blah. So kind of like, take this pain as penance for your sins kind of thing. Or like, repelling or rejecting past sins so they don't exist anymore? Depends on how you want to look at it I guess.
@LP
LOL, not even sure what I have could count towards definitions. rofl Like I said before, I'm still working on a few things, personality included. Thanks for your feedback though.
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Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2011 3:13 am
Okay, I think I've got almost everything down. Any comments/crits/thoughts would be appreciated!
UPDATES
- personality updated (again)
- added FST
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Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2011 11:14 pm
Updates:
- personality/hobbies updated
- powers edited slightly
- senshi art = get!
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 1:47 pm
This profile is looking really great, and I only have a few notes, mostly on the powered side of things.
CIVILLIAN:
All of her traits and hobbies flow together/are similar, without being the same. That's great, however, we only allow up to four virtues and four flaws for a character, since they define them so deeply. You'll have to eliminate one of her flaws, or find a way to incorporate it into her other traits.
My suggestion would be to do away with Apathetic, as she carries traits of it in her ego, callous, and her judgmental flaws. Someone who puts herself first, without guilt, is bound to be somewhat apathetic about other people's problems.
POWERED:
Her first two attacks, as they stand, last too long. Most battles last 2-3 minutes, particularly in the early stages, and at most, wrap up around 5 minutes. What will help you is to close your eyes and count those seconds out loud, and realize how long it really is! Emotional/Mental attacks are pretty powerful control over another character and can change the tide of battle completely.
Having a scout attack at 2 minutes, and a super at 7 minutes is just too much.
Drop the duration to around 15-20 seconds for her scout attack, since it can also effect up to 3 people upon touch, which is equal to being used 3 times in battle.
For her super, I'd suggest leaving it at 30-45 seconds, since it is now an AoE attack.
When you create a senshi, you have to decide what sort of character will they be. Offensive or Defensive? If her first two attacks are debuffing/defensive, then her eternal attack should not suddenly become violently offensive.
When you create your eternal attack if CAN be a whole new spell, or, should you like, it is permissible to make it a even more upgraded version of their scout and super attack, so that is actually your choice.
Why not make her eternal attack effect herself, rather than her enemies? As in, make it defensive.
She can touch her brooch, and thrust her hand into the air, above herself, making the lightning shoot down to form a sort of penetrable dome around herself [30 seconds, or up to a certain level of damage?] and up to 2 allies standing within a 5-10 foot proximity. Any enemy that attempts to pass through the barrier within the duration of the effect gets hit with a knock back/repulsion effect that is damaging. Perhaps it even 'scorches' them with her fires of absolution?
You would also need to specify if her allies could use their magic though the barrier or not. One would assume that they could only use defensive/support spells, since she reduces enmity as a rule.
It's a way to introduce damage, but still stay in line with her other effects, which are designed to protect her from hostility.
Just some ideas!
Feel free to QUOTE ME when you've completed all your changes, or with questions and I'll add you to my list to go through again!
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:23 pm
The only thing I have to add to Indu's crit is that a more detailed description of the attack effect for normal and Super would be REALLY helpful. In other words, please explain what her targets experience when their enmity is decreased.
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 1:53 am
Thanks so much for the crits! I must have missed the four trait limit, so I'll go fix that.
As for her powered, I have to say a lot of this information is really helpful. I was really worried about her powers/sphere for a long time and I've kind of been sitting on the concept for a long time wondering if this would actually work or not.
> I'll change the time limits, but I'm wondering what's decent? I understand that the attacks are rather long but she uses them to get away. And I'm not sure if you can get away in only 15 seconds. Would 15 seconds be enough time to get outside the 15ft radius? Since this is my first moonshop character, I'm not sure how long battles would last. I don't want her to be screwed over from the start with no martial arts and no offensive attacks. x__x
> I had the most trouble coming up with her last attack and your suggestion sounds really great! I'll change that. YOUR MY SAVIORRRRR---
> Also as far as enmity goes, it's defined as The state or feeling of being actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.. So just decreasing that...? Like whatever it is that drives people to want to hurt her would be dulled down.
Thanks for the crits! I'll fix these up and then quote. ;v;
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 4:24 am
ICly, battles typically last 2-3 minutes, especially at lower levels, which is realistic in relation to real life combat, so your original attacks would last the entire battle. Anything above the 3-5 minute mark is usually because someone can't escape, and they're going to be killed, or else they're extremely evenly matched and/or are sparring.
Her attacks, to me, didn't seem designed to help her escape, if I missed the part about her fleeing, I apologize. I was envisioning her more as a support player, who would instead neutralize the field in her immediate area. I'm not exactly sure how a AoE attack [the radius around he] would work to help her escape, no matter how long it lasted, since the second they get outside of 15 feet, they're just going to start chasing her again, and to be frank, 15 feet is traversed in very, very short time.
If you need an idea, go outside and sprint for 15 seconds, down the block, and see how far you get.
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Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:17 am
Minsuil > Also as far as enmity goes, it's defined as The state or feeling of being actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.. So just decreasing that...? Like whatever it is that drives people to want to hurt her would be dulled down. How does it feel to have your hostility reduced by her attack (what emotion generally replaces the feeling of enmity)? Do the targets lose perception of who their enemies are, or can they still perceive friend vs. foe and just lose the motivation to attack? Are targets rendered completely incapable of fighting because of the effects of Crux' magic, or can they still muster up the motivation to throw a punch? This is what I meant when I asked for more information. Other players need enough to be able to interpret what their character starts doing when under the influence of Crux's attack. Otherwise you will end up with a huge variety of interpretations -- some players will end up overexaggerating how it affects their characters' ability to fight, and others will downplay it. You might have Crux fight a Negaverser who gets hit by her attack and ends up acting overtly friendly towards nearby senshi... and then later on she might use her spell on a Dark Mirror Senshi who feels slightly less hostile, but not enough to stop him from punching Crux in the jaw. Senshi attacks need to be consistent in how powerful the are and what they do, so this would be a bit problematic.
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