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 Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:17 pm
 Think about it? Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen My first experience of this was when I was 12. Something happened with my uncle. I'm not sure what exactly but he used this threat on me when for something I can't recall. I remember being so terrified when I first heard this and I was willing to do whatever he said. I know better now. Not only was this not true but this was wrong. This is just one example of spiritual abuse. What are some other examples of spiritual abuse? What can we do to curb spiritual abuse we encounter in our life? Do you feel like we have a right to speak up when encounter spiritual abuse being inflicted on others?
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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:38 pm
That is an interesting side-by-side comparison of what child abuse is. I've thought about what people in "cults" would do to their followers. A "cult" may have followers avoid or abstain from friend and familial ties.
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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:42 pm
John Calvin That is an interesting side-by-side comparison of what child abuse is. I've thought about what people in "cults" would do to their followers. A "cult" may have followers avoid or abstain from friend and familial ties. Yeah those are some good examples too. Your posting in a guild? I thought you didn't like guilds.
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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:45 pm
rmcdra John Calvin That is an interesting side-by-side comparison of what child abuse is. I've thought about what people in "cults" would do to their followers. A "cult" may have followers avoid or abstain from friend and familial ties. Yeah those are some good examples too. Your posting in a guild? I thought you didn't like guilds. Well, this is the only guild I've decided I would be a part of. And besides, I was invited to this guild a long time ago. 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:49 pm
John Calvin rmcdra John Calvin That is an interesting side-by-side comparison of what child abuse is. I've thought about what people in "cults" would do to their followers. A "cult" may have followers avoid or abstain from friend and familial ties. Yeah those are some good examples too. Your posting in a guild? I thought you didn't like guilds. Well, this is the only guild I've decided I would be a part of. And besides, I was invited to this guild a long time ago. 3nodding Well it's a pleasant surprise to see you and welcome to our guild.
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:15 am
Well.....
Not allowed to eat dinner for years because I wouldn't pray thanks.
My father that demanded spiritual conformity was raping one of my sisters all the while. When he tried it on me, I called the cops and he went to jail for 5 years. But then I was even more of a heathen. They thought because I was ungodly that somehow I brought it upon him. They often told me the only reason they didn't kill me was because it was a sin and they were better than that... unlike me. My sister was thankful, but she was the only one who didn't condemn me for it. Then there's consistently being told how God hates unbelievers and the only place I had to look forward to was hell. Then I get supicions about the family pastor molesting a girl... yeah... even just for saying anything about it seeming supicious, I was pretty much beaten for suggesting it. And yes, I was locked in an attic for 7 days. But when I got out I talked to the girl, and admitted to me he was molesting her. And that he told her God would punish her if she told anyone. I reassured her God wouldn't punish her, and that the only one that would get punished was me, so it was going to be okay. She wasn't much fond of that idea either, but I convinced her to come with me to see the polic about it. And I actually had to be put in protective custody for bit. Yeah, that was fun. I would like to think it's a good thing I don't hate God for all this.
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 4:37 am
when i was 11 my sex ed teacher told me i was going to hell because i liked girls. mind you this was in public school. i went out of my way to stop believing in god because of her and for the next few years was ashamed of my sexuality pretended pretended to be straight. i never told anyone about her because i felt too ashamed of myself and didnt want others to think i was going to hell.
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:41 am
I'm honestly at a loss of words. I'll admit that I was not prepared when I read this thread what was going to come forth but it's good that this is coming out. I hope that this is cathartic for you and that someone reading this will be inspired to stand up to abuse when they see it and that others don't suffer like you guys have. And Shanna66, I hated that feeling. My mom never threatened me with hell but told me that I was somehow unnatural or deviant for having any sexual feelings. I know it doesn't compare on any level but I'm familiar with being made ashamed of sexual feelings. Excluding obvious exceptions, who you are sexually attracted to is not a crime and it doesn't make you unnatural. It's normal and healthy to have sexual attractions, to guys, girls, or both. I read from one of your posts about the no dinner thing but that's all so horrible. Zen Marie Balthazar you did a great thing for your sister and that girl. You are a hero. It's very sad that those you grew up with didn't recognize it. You not only helped those girls but others that could have become their victims. I know you know you did the right thing, but I just want to say it again, you did the right thing. I hope others will follow your example and speak up when problems arise. I hope and pray that other Christians could be more like you. And I mean that in all seriousness.
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Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2011 7:33 pm
Matthew 7:1-3
1Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged,
and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye
and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? In both of your example, it is sad to see how people have fallen and are so quick to point fingers or place blame. God, made each and every one of use unique. Zen, you are both wise and brave, to see and to speak up, when see a wrong. Even if it would put her in the bad light of her church. In truth I wish I was more like you... you did right. 1 Corinthians 5:12-13
12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.” A church is supposed to strengthen, empower, and "arm" their members, against the acts of Satan in the world. It is a shame, when he uses our own tools against us. Shanna, just remember Moses may have came down the mountain with the laws and wrath of God. But, Jesus came down to forgive and show God's all consuming love.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 6:05 am
i thank you both for the kind words. ive come to accept myself and let god back into my life. its not his fault that some people like to judge. and my orientation is something that only god can judge me for, no one else has the right to tell me where i will go when i die
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 2:30 pm
I don't see a problem if someone is deeply concerned about something about you and offers some advice and then just drop it depending on what it may be. But in the end everything you do or say is between you and God as long as it doesn't hurt someone else. Between you and God. smile
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 3:59 pm
Prince Darialan Love I don't see a problem if someone is deeply concerned about something about you and offers some advice and then just drop it depending on what it may be. But in the end everything you do or say is between you and God as long as it doesn't hurt someone else. Between you and God. smile No one here I don't think is saying that giving advice is bad. What we are talking about is abuse of spirituality and abuse of one's spiritual authority. When a person in an authority position misuses their privilege to do wrongs and/or to prey on people's insecurities this is wrong and people should speak about it. Zen and Shanna's examples illustrate this perfectly.
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 8:46 pm
Just reading that made me want to go and kick your family's and that pastor's asses Zen.... I know it isn't very nice of me, but that straight up pisses me off! scream
The horrible thing is, I knew a girl in a situation similar to your sister's, and it took a long time to get anyone to do anything about it... she didn't have any siblings... it was just her and her mom and step-dad... so it actually took her breaking down at a sleep-over one night when she panicked at my friend's dad stepping into the room to tell us light's out...
After everything was out in the open, she wasn't allowed to go to her house, so she went to stay with her grand-mother, who pulled the "Hell" card out and threw it at her... because it is the fault of the woman for tempting men; and if she had been a good Christian it wouldn't have happened because God would have protected her; and she had brought disgrace to the whole family...
She tried to commit suicide at one point, and it got her removed from the whole situation, and things did get better for her after that, but I don't think she will ever find it within herself to turn to God for anything...
@Shanna- I think homosexuality is just the next stage in evolution making a visual manifestation... so, from that perspective, people can't reasonably call what God has set in motion through nature sin... you can adopt this theory if you like. xp
As for me, my 2 most memorable personal cases of spiritual abuse happened in front of whole congregations of church-goers, and I think I have explained them elsewhere in the guild...
The short of it...One I was the subject of an attempted exorcism, and the other, I was the subject lesson used to make the rest of an audience fall into line...
I stood up for myself in both of those cases, but it earned me a reputation that I am both proud of, yet wished I never had...
... and the earliest case of spiritual abuse I suffered... I was 7 and it was my first year at Christian Summer camp... Chapel was lasting late it was already dark out, so it had to be at least 9pm...The speaker called all of the kids in my age group to the front and had all of the older kids stand and watch as he yelled at us like a demented drill Sargent on crack about how it was our fault that Jesus died. We were bad people, and we would get worse as we got older if we didn't ask Jesus into our hearts. That night, at the alter at Summer camp, was the only place we could ever be truly saved because that was the night we were being called, and if we refused to heed that call, we were being rebellious to God. Rebellion was a sin punishable by death in the Bible, and according to him, was the same as blasphemy, the 'unforgivable' sin...
I was actually starting to nod off when the man got to me. He started yelling in my face because I wasn't crying yet. I started yelling "Your WRONG!" in his face, and bawling because this big adult man started yelling louder, spittle flying, nostrils flaring, saying that if I continued I would be going to Hell...
I was blessed that at this camp, the teenagers were also there, and so my big brother (8 years older) was in the ranks of the older kids... He came to my rescue, and as I felt him lifting me off of the alter, and heard him cuss the preacher with the most foul language I had ever heard to that date, I
remember thinking that he was the most Godly presence in that whole room that night...
He kept me with him after that, and he called our parents who in turn rallied the other parents of the church, and after six hours of sitting in the cafeteria with the older youth from our church, and a couple of kids my age who happened to have older sibs there to keep them from going back with the counselors. Our pastor, youth pastor, and some parents arrived to gather all of us... I think I ate enough pop-rocks while waiting that night to satisfy me forever on that treat. xp
...but recounting that, I guess I had three memorable instances in front of whole congregations.... rolleyes
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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 11:21 pm
Am I like the only one that didn't suffer from spiritual abuse? Or if I did, it never fazed me. My father, before I was born, was a preacher. To this day he can still recite any verse in the Bible. He left do to the church looks down on divorces... But side track... even he never used this kind of abuse against us. I guess it was because, I was five or six when God found me and saved me. Since then I memorized one verse. Anytime I had trouble, I would just remember it, smile and forgive the person that caused the issue, then walk away. It was only if someone messed with my family or friends, that I didn't easily forgive. In fact, my first and only fight in school was over that. Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. I don't know, if it is that I am blind to those actions and words. But, I don't encounter them much, if any at all. Sorry, I don't have any interesting stories to share.
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