Welcome to Gaia! ::

Her head felt so light. Daphne was sprawled on the couch still wearing the same black as midnight outfit that had gone to her mother's funeral. Helen hadn't really given her much time to change in-between the initial evening out of her hair, the hairdresser who had clucked and fussed and nearly been punched, then dinner. All in all Helen had been a perfect friend and a dutiful sister but even that took its toll. After scooping up and packing everything that could be used to harm or maim what was left of Daphne's previous profusion of curls, she'd gotten a hug and locked into her apartment.

Alone.

So with fingers toying idly with her hair, petite figure sprawled on the couch like she lacked the life and energy to move, Daphne Xanis laid in the dark. Not even the tv was on, the only light a single one over the oven that her eyes could fix on. It was as lone, as lonely, as she was. How fitting.

One arm came up over her face at the harsh light though she remained soundless and the arm stayed until the scent brushed past her face. Slowly then, it lowered so that she could look into her beloved prince's shell-shocked eyes. Daphne knew how she looked. The haircut was actually quite decent considering what had been left to work with. The red-rimmed eyes that were shot through with the pink of sobbing and her swollen nose were two different things. The black also made her look thin, something wasted away to nothing, burned by the effort of living until there was nothing left.

"Audrey had that hair. My daddy said that. He looked me in the eyes and said I was pretty like his daughter. Said he missed her as we stood over my mama's grave and he looked me dead in the eye." Daphne's voice was so soft. "Didn't even know who I was. So I didn't want to look like her anymore. She's dead. Audrey. Mama. The baby. Everyone is gone and my papa doesn't have anything left. Because of me." Hands came up to cover her face, push back the tears with fingertips. Tears were useless, messy, the worst possible thing yet they just wouldn't stop leaking from her eyes.

They dropped after a minute and she spoke with a voice devoid of care or emotion. "Did Helen call you or did you turn on the news and hear about the poor lady who jumped off a local office building?"

Why couldn't he just pick her up, hold her, and tell her that everything would be okay? Why did they have to pick over every angle of everything. Why did something have to have a meaning or a reason? Why couldn't it just be? Daphne was tired, so tired of thinking, of having to give a reason for everything she'd done. "I cut them because I'm stupid. I'm stupid and terrible and I just can't do it anymore. I cut them because I wanted to hurt something. I wanted to hurt myself but I'm too much of a coward to do it. Is that what you want to hear?" Damn the tears! They dripped down the sides of her face, past her ears, into the couch, salty trails of weakness that she couldn't stand.

"Tanzanite told me she would start with my mother. I thought it meant she'd scare her. Maybe put her in the hospital to teach me a lesson." The horror of it all was raw and scraping. "She threw her off a building Castor. Thirty stories straight down and the police? They say it was a suicide. Because her life was so awful. It was my fault. She warned me and I...I was too busy trying to save everyone else." Hands fisted, dropped at her sides.

"I am so tired. I don't want to think anymore. I don't want to be anymore. I just want to fade away into the darkness and never wake up because every time I wake up I'm alone."

Her body curled into his like Elzo was the only thing holding back the tide from sweeping her away, arms holding on tight and hands clutching into his shirt as Daphne hid her face against his shoulder. "You're the only one who gets through. They're all new, none of them...they all pity me. Or worship me in some weird way. Zac? He's nice but he wouldn't understand and I couldn't tell him. You're the only one who understands, really understands, without the damn storytime theater." Her hands tightened in his shirt but some of the anger and self-loathing had expunged itself already.

Daphne's now-exposed neck rolled so she looked up into his face, eyes bleary and exhausted with the day. "It was dad. I made this dumb wreath..thing. Every hair ribbon mom had ever put in my hair. I wanted to give them back to her to take with her, she loved that morning thing. Every morning before school mom puts a bow in my hair. Dad...he looks me right in the face." Her voice shook a bit. "He looked like his world had ended and maybe it had. He loved her so much. But he looks me right in the eye and says how I look like his daughter. That must have been why we were friends." Now all of her shook with the grief of it, the reality, the emotion.

"Standing over her grave it hit me. It didn't matter that Tanz killed her forever. They're dead to me. Alive and walking around town I've lost my entire family. I have nothing....none of that left." Daphne corrected herself mid-sentence. "I don't know what happened but all I remember is I didn't want to look like her. If I couldn't have anything of hers I shouldn't look like her." Fingers reached up to touch the ends of her butchered hair.

"That's all I remember. Everything between then and now is a bit of a blur. I'm sorry."

Hands dashed under eyes in those useless circles she'd seen other girls do. Usually it was to preserve your makeup, something, just one of those things that Audrey had done since she was still young enough to cry often. What had happened to the girl who hated to cry? Who saw crying as a weakness and never bothered with it? She cried so much lately yet no matter what anyone did the tears just came and came, never ceasing their flow. Daphne probably could have given all of her knightly powers and still she would be weak to tears.

So softly her lips touched Elzo's cheek, cuddling against him so her arms could slide around to hold on. Hadn't she given up everything, essentially, for this man? It was all so that they could be together because they literally could not live if they were separated by the powers of Chaos. Neither had really wanted to die. Of course Daphne had found a reason other than him to keep living as was her wont -- she relied on no one for her existence if she could help it.

Yet at the core of all of it was the idea that everything from the moment she had agreed to the deal offered her by Sailor Cosmos had happened so that they could be together. The star crossed lovers of more than one life, a poetic tragedy that was never-ending and she had been throwing it away. Well not anymore.

"Can you stay tonight? I...I know we have some stuff to work out yet. I do. I just don't think it'd be good to be alone anymore. I am not entirely sure what I'll do and it's been so long since I really slept." Hands reached over to pull the penguin, the owl, and the panda into his view. "They aren't as good company as you Castor."