Gay Adoption | Page 1 | Extended Discussion | Guild Forums

iMito
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Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 1:57 pm

Probably one of the less controversial issues is the topic of gay adoption.

On one side, Gays are just as capable of raising a child as any other person. A sexual orientation should not limit any person's ability to raise a child and is not a determining factor for adoption. Single parents have always been allowed to adopt, assuming they were in a financial, emotional, mental, and physical safe environment. Gay adoption is no different. Plus, with the numerous amount of orphans that go without parents, they could use as many adoptions as possible. An untraditional family would be much better than a foster home.

On the other side, both parents are needed to create a healthy relationship. Single parents and Gay parents shouldn't be allowed to adopt because it would create an unhealthy lifestyle and promote negative values. Gay adoption would also create room for ridicule in the child's life from peers and other influences.

A helpful insight: http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_pare6.htm

What's your opinion?

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 5:53 pm

Personally I think any child can be ridicule because of their parents. If they're fat, they get made fun of, if they do drugs, drink, or have some eccentric characteristic to them that perhaps the ridiculer's parents doesn't contain. However, all of which can be unforeseen circumstances that can be brought into the marriage life in the future. Such as parents tend to fight more about money issues, which mine do so much of to the point even that affects me. Or even divorces can affect the child because people can make fun of them of the lack of a parent the child has.

It's the fact that the orientation of the parents is foreseen from the start that people freak out. Because everything else comes as life unfolds, but I'm sure that with given a chance like so many parents, a good child can come out of that. Maybe even stronger than most to have to deal with something so controversial its what makes them not fear it, since they grew up with that atmosphere. It's the fear, I believe, that makes the ridiculer criticize.

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AriaStarSong

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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 7:04 pm

I think that gays should be allowed to adopt simply for the reason that any loving home is better than no home.

Yes, kids may make fun of them. But kids will make fun of them for having no parents all the more. If You're going to campaign against abortion, don't eliminate a good source of potential families for all of those babies that you're saving.

Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2006 8:27 pm

gay have the same rights as any body... they shouldn't be looked down on or tunerd down by there sexualitly people are afraind the the children with becoe gay too, but even if they did there would still be children that turn out gay from staraigt families, it make no diffrence how the children are raised.

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Indicrow

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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 1:19 pm

Simply put, homosexuals should be allowed to adopt.

Posted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 6:08 pm

Gay people should not have the right to adopt because obviously every straight person makes a good parent for the sole reason that they are straight. And it's also very apparent that because gay people are gay, any child they raise will be gay, just as any child raised by straight people will turn out to be straight. Gays are inexperienced in dealing with teasing and bullying because they've never experienced any of it, so when their kid comes home crying they won't know how that kid feels or have the faintest notion what to say to make that kid feel better. And it's preferable to shift from unloving home to unloving home and possibly become emotionally scarred when the alternative is a loving couple who can't legally get married in most places.
And that is why gay people cannot adopt children! Fear my unbeatable logic!

[For those of you who took offense or actually believed any of that, please note that sarcasm is better delivered and received when the people experiencing it can hear each other's voices, but may still be used on the Internet if you put a warning up.]

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iMito
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Posted: Wed Mar 08, 2006 9:46 am

infamousredflag's sarcastic excerpt

Gays are inexperienced in dealing with teasing and bullying because they've never experienced any of it, so when their kid comes home crying they won't know how that kid feels or have the faintest notion what to say to make that kid feel better.

What about the fact that being gay or having gay parents naturally isolates the child from society and that it creates additional bullying for that child. Childhood bullying is proven as one of the most traumatizing psychological effects a person can have in their life.

People who are bullied are 60% more likely to carry a gun to school, 70% more likely to get in frequent fights, and 30% more likely to become injured. They are also susceptible to isolation, becoming cynical to authority, sleep disturbances and other psychosomatic symptoms, etc.

In conclusion, why should we suject these kids into a life of being bullied when there is a large increase in risk of bullying under the conditions of same-gender parents?

Sources:

Childhood Bullying: Implications for Physicians

Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2006 12:09 am

infamousredflag

Gay people should not have the right to adopt because obviously every straight person makes a good parent for the sole reason that they are straight. And it's also very apparent that because gay people are gay, any child they raise will be gay, just as any child raised by straight people will turn out to be straight. Gays are inexperienced in dealing with teasing and bullying because they've never experienced any of it, so when their kid comes home crying they won't know how that kid feels or have the faintest notion what to say to make that kid feel better. And it's preferable to shift from unloving home to unloving home and possibly become emotionally scarred when the alternative is a loving couple who can't legally get married in most places.
And that is why gay people cannot adopt children! Fear my unbeatable logic!

[For those of you who took offense or actually believed any of that, please note that sarcasm is better delivered and received when the people experiencing it can hear each other's voices, but may still be used on the Internet if you put a warning up.]

Exactly smile

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Taeryyn
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Posted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 10:25 am

SPMito

What about the fact that being gay or having gay parents naturally isolates the child from society and that it creates additional bullying for that child. Childhood bullying is proven as one of the most traumatizing psychological effects a person can have in their life.

People who are bullied are 60% more likely to carry a gun to school, 70% more likely to get in frequent fights, and 30% more likely to become injured. They are also susceptible to isolation, becoming cynical to authority, sleep disturbances and other psychosomatic symptoms, etc.

In conclusion, why should we suject these kids into a life of being bullied when there is a large increase in risk of bullying under the conditions of same-gender parents?

Sources:

Childhood Bullying: Implications for Physicians

This is all assuming that the child would be bullied. You can't predict whether or not that would happen. It is not a guarantee, especially since society is becoming more and more open-minded. You can't go prohibiting people from adoption based on that kind of speculation. Yes, the child MIGHT be bullied, and maybe the child MIGHT not be able to deal with it, so of course that means that the child will go and shoot up their school.

How logical is that?

If that's the case, we'll have to ban racially-mixed couples from adopting, regardless of their financial and emotional stability, because their child might be bullied. Let's prohibit devoutly religious couples from adopting, because their child might be bullied for their parent's beliefs. Let's prevent vegetarians from adopting, as the child will be ridiculed.

I don't see these assumptions and theoretical situations as good enough reasons to deny every single same-sex couple the right to adoption.

Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:10 pm

I say gay adoption is not harmful to kids, and I have the studies to back me up.

Someone on Usenet

Gay and Lesbian Parenting Studies

This bibliography compiled by Tony Quirke. Thanks, Tony!

---
"The Lesbian Mother," by Bernice Goodman [American Journal of
Orthopsychiatry, Vol. 43 (1983), pp. 283-284]

Kirkpatrick, Martha et al; "Lesbian Mothers and Their Children: A
Comparative Study," 51 American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 545 (1983)

"Homosexual Parents," by Brenda Maddox [Psychology Today, February,
1982, pp.66-69]

Riddle, Dorothy I.; "Relating to Children: Gays as Role Models," 34
Journal of Social Issues, 38-58 (197 cool

"The Avowed Lesbian Mother and Her Right to Child Custody," by Marilyn
Riley [San Diego Law Review, Vol. 12 (1975), p. 799]

Susoeff, Steve; "Assessing Children's Best Interests When a Parent is
Gay or Lesbian: Toward a Rational Custody Standard," 32 UCLA Law
Review
852, 896 (1985)

Gibbs, Elizabeth D.; "Psychosocial Development of Children Raised by
Lesbian Mothers: A Review of Research," 8 Women & Therapy 65 (198 cool

Green, Richard; "The Best Interests of the Child With a Lesbian
Mother," 10 Bulletin of the American Academy of Psychiatry & Law 7
(1982)

Turner, Pauline et al; "Parenting in Gay and Lesbian Families," 1
Journal of Gay & Lesbian Psychotherapy 55, 57 (1990)

Golombok, Susan; "Children in Lesbian and Single-Parent Households:
Psychosexual and Psychiatric Appraisal," 24 Journal of Child
Psychology
& Psychiatry 551 (1983)

Hoeffer, Beverly; "Children's Acquisition of Sex-Role Behavior in
Lesbian-Mother Families," 51 American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 536
(1981)

Green, Richard; "Sexual Identity of 37 Children Raised by Homosexual
or Transsexual Parents," 135 American Journal of Psychiatry 692 (197 cool

Green, Richard; "Lesbian Mothers and Their Children: A Comparison with
Solo Parent Heterosexual Mothers and their Children," 15 Archives of
Sexual Behavior 167 (1986)

Gottman, Julie Schwartz; "Children of Gay and Lesbian Parents," 14
Marriage and Family Review 177 (1989)

Rees, Richard; "A Comparison of Children of Lesbian and Single
Heterosexual Mothers on Three Measures of Socialization," 40
Dissertation Abstracts International 3418-B, 3419-B (1979)

Sterkel, Alisa; "Psychosocial Develpment of Children of Lesbian
Mothers," Gay & Lesbian Parents 75, 81 (Frederick W. Bozett, ed.,
1987)

Mucklow, Bonnie M., & Phelan, Gladys K.; "Lesbian and Traditional
Mothers' Responses to Adult Response to Child Behavior and
Self-Concept," 44 Psychological Report 880 (1979)

Whittlin, William A.; "Homosexuality and Child Custody: A Psychiatric
Viewpoint," 21 Concilation Courts Review 77 (1983)

Herek, Gregory M.; "Myths About Sexual Orientation: A Lawyer's Guide
to Social Science Research," 1 Law & Sexuality: A Review of Lesbian &
Gay Legal Issues 133 (1991)

Cramer, David; "Gay Parents and Their Children: A Review of the
Research and Practical Implications," 64 Journal of Counseling &
Development 504 (1986)

Wismont, Judith M., & Reame, Nancy E.; "The Lesbian Childbearing
Experience: Assessing Developmental Tasks, 21 Journal of Nursing
Scholarship 137 (1989)

Meyer, Cheryl L.; "Legal, Psychological, and Medical Considerations in
Lesbian Parenting," 2 Law & Sexuality: A Review of Lesbian & Gay Legal
Issues 237 (1992)

"In the 'Best Interests of the Child' and the Lesbian Mother: A
Proposal for Legislative Change in New York," 48 Albany Law Review
1021
(1984)

Harris & Turner, "Gay & Lesbian Parents," 12 Journal of Homosexuality
101 (1985-1986)

Kleber, Howell & Tibbits-Kleber, "The Impact of Parental Homosexuality
in Child Custody Cases: A Review of the Literature," 14 Bulletin of
the
American Academy of Psychiatry & Law 81 (1986)

"The Avowed Lesbian Mother and Her Right to Child Custody: A
Constitutional Challenge That Can No Longer Be Denied," 12 San Diego
Law Review 799 (1975)

"Sexual Orientation and the Law" by the Editors of the Harvard Law
Review (Harvard University Press, 1989)

Green, G. Dorsey, & Bozett, Frederick W., "Lesbian Mothers and Gay
Fathers," in Homosexuality: Research Implications for Public Policy,
ed. by Gonsiorek & Weinrich (Sage Publications, 1991)

Lewin, E., "Lesbianism and Motherhood: Implications for Child
Custody," 40 Human Organization 6-14 (1981)

Ricketts, Wendell; "Lesbians and Gay Men as Foster Parents"
(University of Southern Maine, 1992)

You can find many additional citations in this bibliography: "Lesbian
Mothers and Their Children: Annotated Bibliography of Legal and
Psychological Materials," by Donna J. Hitchens and Ann G. Thomas,
editors [San Francisco Lesbian Rights Project]

These studies, reports, and articles all reach the same conclusion:
Children raised by lesbians and gay men do not differ from children
raised by heterosexuals "on measures of popularity, social adjustment,
gender role behavior, gender identity, intelligence, self-concept,
emotional problems, interest in marriage and parenting, locus of
control, moral development, independence, ego functions, object
relations, or self esteem." Additionally, no significant differences
have been observed in regard to "teachers' and parents' evaluations of
emotional and social behavior, fears, sleep disturbances,
hyperactivity, and conduct differences." (Meyer, "Legal,
Psychological,
and Medical Considerations in Lesbian Parenting," 2 Law & Sexuality:
Rev. Lesbian & Gay Legal Issues 239-240 [1992])

The same article goes on to note that a very few differences HAVE been
reported by some researchers: One study found children raised by
heterosexual mothers had a HIGHER rate of psychiatric disorders and
psychiatric referrals than those raised by lesbians. Another study
found that those raised by heterosexuals were more domineering and
more
often engaged in power struggles. Other studies found that children of
lesbian parents showed greater tolerance for diversity and that
daughters of lesbians chose to play with opposite sex partners more
often than daughters of heterosexual mothers.

Citations showing that children of gay parents are no more likely to
grow up gay:

Golombok, Spencer, & Rutter, Children in Lesbian and Single-Parent
Households: Psychosexual and Psychiatric Appraisal, 24, J. Child
Psychology and Psychiatry 551, 568 (1983)

Green, The Best Interests of a Child with a Lesbian Mother, 10 Bull.
Am. Acad. Psychiatry and Law, 7, 13, (1982)

Green, Mandel, Hotveldt, Gray, & Smith, Lesbian Mothers and Their
Children: A Comparison with Solo Parent Heterosexual Mothers and Their
Children, 15 Archives Sexual Behav., 167, 181 (1986)

Kirkpatrick, Smith, and Roy, Lesbian Mothers and their Children: A
Comparative Survey, 51 Am. J. Orthopsychiatry 545, 551 (1981)

Bozett, Children of Gay Fathers, in Gay and Lesbian Parents, F. Bozett
ed. (1987)

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Castilleja

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Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 1:47 pm

If that kid is going from an abusive family into a loving family.... Regardless of anything, go for it.

Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 5:18 pm

Maybe I can shed a little bit of first-hand light on the issue of children being bullied for having gay parents.

My partner, who I live with, has a son who he has half-custody of. His son spends alternating weeks with us and with his mother. He's nine years old. Many of his friends and classmates know about his home situation, and many of them are curious at first because it's a new idea to most of them, but he's never been made fun of or bullied because of it, to the best of our and his teachers' knowledge.

Now, it's possible that this will change as he gets older (because younger children tend to be more all-accepting than, say, teenagers), but so far, we haven't had any problems.

Also, it's worth remembering that most kids end up getting made fun of at some point for something. If their parents aren't gay, it'll because they wear glasses, or braces, or get good marks, or get poor marks, or are too poor, or are too rich, and the list goes on. In school, I was made fun of for being clumsy, being too skinny, and being at the top of my class. Point being, kids make fun of other kids. We can't protect them from getting their feelings hurt all the time, and if it's not one thing, it'll be another thing.

SinfulGuillotine

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Kamirose

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Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 7:20 pm

Whoosh. I posted an article from my school newspaper on here before.

http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=2537793

This girl has lesbian mothers (not adopted, but still), and is not bullied. My other friend has lesbian mothers (he is adopted), and he's never had any trouble about it. And we're teenagers.

Sinful - To your 'younger children are more all-accepting' - That's true, to a point. However, to my experience, it depends on how old. In my area (which is a very accepting community), it's the middle schoolers who are the worst in terms of bigotry, and the high school is the most accepting. In a high school in the area, there are 300 GSA members.

Posted: Sat May 20, 2006 9:43 pm

Kamirose

Whoosh. I posted an article from my school newspaper on here before.

http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=2537793

This girl has lesbian mothers (not adopted, but still), and is not bullied. My other friend has lesbian mothers (he is adopted), and he's never had any trouble about it. And we're teenagers.

Sinful - To your 'younger children are more all-accepting' - That's true, to a point. However, to my experience, it depends on how old. In my area (which is a very accepting community), it's the middle schoolers who are the worst in terms of bigotry, and the high school is the most accepting. In a high school in the area, there are 300 GSA members.

Well, it always depends on the kids and the area, but it's always seemed like kids under the age of, say, ten or so seem to be more willing to accept everything with a smile.

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Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2006 9:15 am

iMito

Probably one of the less controversial issues is the topic of gay adoption.

On one side, Gays are just as capable of raising a child as any other person. A sexual orientation should not limit any person's ability to raise a child and is not a determining factor for adoption. Single parents have always been allowed to adopt, assuming they were in a financial, emotional, mental, and physical safe environment. Gay adoption is no different. Plus, with the numerous amount of orphans that go without parents, they could use as many adoptions as possible. An untraditional family would be much better than a foster home.

On the other side, both parents are needed to create a healthy relationship. Single parents and Gay parents shouldn't be allowed to adopt because it would create an unhealthy lifestyle and promote negative values. Gay adoption would also create room for ridicule in the child's life from peers and other influences.

A helpful insight: http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_pare6.htm

What's your opinion?

All those things you said could happen with a straight couple as well. Who says having gay parents is going to promote a negative lifestyle anyways? Or single parents for that matter? There is no difference between them. Gays should be allowed to adopt if they choose to.

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