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 Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:22 pm
At first she didn't think much of Harmony's disappearing act. She was very familiar with her daughter's need to test the limits of what she could get away with and what she couldn't. Anything to make her mother cringe in fear, horror, or abject disgust. Her previous attempts included a temporary tattoo, wearing a bald cap, and staying out all night just so Kyndall could find an empty bed the next morning. No matter what she did, though, she always popped up and proclaimed her joke a success to laugh at her mother's nativity.
This was not a prank.
She was skipping school, an uncommon occurrence to be sure but it happened. It wasn't until her boss called asking why Harmony wasn't at work that Kyndall knew something was severely wrong. She was occasionally irresponsible but she never skipped work. She actually enjoyed her job. By then she'd been gone just over twenty four hours and when Kyndall found Harmony's phone at home she called the police. They took statements, pictures of Harmony and asked her all sorts of questions. Kyndall endured it with a promise they could call her cell phone day or night if they needed anything to help find Harmony.
By the time she left the police station she was numb. She tried to be patient but as days passed her desperation and fears grew. She was almost certain by day five that her child was dead and she'd never see her again. By day seven she didn't know what to believe as the police told her Harm's picture was now circulating nationwide but there was nothing more they could do to actively search for her.
On the drive home she found herself unwilling to go to own house and instead turned down the road toward Tony's. It was late but it was also a long shot he was home. She'd been trying him off and on and found him unreachable by cell and mostly out of the library. All she same she didn't know who else to turn to when she needed to show some emotion. Her family was gone and now the only person she had left was missing and though they didn't say so - presumed dead.
She walked toward his front door and rang the bell unsure of what she'd say if by some miracle he did open the door. She was torn up inside and literally shaking with the fear of what had happened to her little girl. A million ideas were tearing through her head and each was more horrific than the last.
"Please, Tony." she whispered, hugging herself. "I need you."
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Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:19 pm
Tony had been very busy, and hadn't actually been at home much either. He was off in space, taking care of injured civilians and trying to figure out just what had happened. He offered his service to the Zodiacs and would not fail them, if he could do anything to help it.
He was not going to take it easy, either.
He had just been stopping back home to pick up a few more supplies, ready to tell Nate that he was still going to be away a while. fortunately, Nathan wasn't at home when he arrived. This surprised Tony, and didn't. He was expecting either a house full of punk kids partying, or a house completely devoid of anything of value and a note saying Nate had finally run off with all his stuff.
Neither seemed to be the case. Nate was probably just out causing his usual trouble. Or, more likely, doing something Senshi related. But Tony didn't know that.
When he heard the doorbell, he moved to answer it, surprised.
"Nathan, did you forget your..." he stopped after pulling the door open, looking at Kyndall in surprise. "Oh! Miss Kyndall! What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost. Come in, please. You're shaking..." He feared she had been attacked by a youma, but it wouldn't take much to put him on the right track as far as why she was there.
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Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 2:43 pm
She stepped just inside the doorway, far enough to let the door close. Her eyes were wider than usual, if that were possible, and she was still trembling with the fear of what she was going through - being in a waking nightmare.
"I've just been with the police." she explained. "They've told me there's nothing left for them to do anymore but wait."
Not that that was a telling statement but she collapsed against him, burying her face in his shoulder to heave a big sigh. She clung to him, one human being to another and started to sob. It was too much to take, too far for her wounded heart to go. It was no secret to him by now that she had a daughter and that their relationship was something like his own with Nathan. There was plenty of resentment there.
Still, she loved her daughter and tried to do her best for Harmony. This did include being away often when she was young. She held onto him, needing someone to tolerate her behavior if not understand it. She wasn't an emotional person and he'd know that by now. But, literally, she had no idea what to do with herself anymore.
"Harmony's missing, Tony. For the past week she's been gone. I've looked everywhere. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. It's like a vital piece of me's missing and I can't take what I'm seeing in my head. The police won't do anymore for her and I'm so afraid she's..."
She couldn't form the word dead. Dead was definitive. Dead was an ugly, hateful word. She’d have none of it. She couldn’t for her sanity’s sake. Instead she went back to sobbing against him, clinging to him as if he were a raft in stormy seas. She felt foolish turning to him in this crisis. They were friends but their friendship was new at best and hadn’t come close to a trial like this yet.
But, as was her first thought, he was the only one she could think of.
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Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 10:25 am
"Police? Wait, what's happened?"
He guided her into the room and sat her down on the sofa. Once she was seated he extricated himself from her grip only long enough to move to the kitchen and get her some water, or something. He was not used to these sorts of situations, not really having anything but alcohol to offer as a way to settle her nerves, and he didn't want to do that. He returned with the cup, putting it down on the table in front of her.
He sat with her now, putting his arm around her shoulders.
"Kyndall..."
This was about Harmony. Camelot had seen her in space, and she was trapped there with the other civilians. Kyndall's daughter, he had learned. She was badly wounded, but the magic of Virgo's infirmary had her healing very well. That was a relief, at least, but not enough of one. And not one he could tell poor Kyndall about.
This was difficult.
"I'm sure she's fine," he offered feebly, "she's not... she's not dead. I know she's not. have you been watching the news? Something strange has happened. And when strange things like this happen, there are always stranger explanations. This is Destiny City. I know that's not a comfort, but I know she is not gone. Not forever."
How did he know that? For all any of them knew, the civilians could never come home. But they had to figure that out, and for now all he could do was offer whatever comfort he could. He let her cling to him, being a rock for her when she needed it.
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Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 1:59 pm
"How do you know, Tony?"
She had been watching the news. Tons of people vanished overnight and had not been heard from all week, the same as her daughter. There were tears staining her eyes and sliding down her cheeks. These things were common in Destiny City, sure, but that didn't make it any easier to bear. Especially considering very few of them ever came back.
"You have a son." She couldn't recall his name. "What if it were him?"
She paused and closed her eyes. She wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone. She felt bad enough without adding guilt to the mix. There was plenty to feel guilty about anyway. Not being there for Harmony enough. Not encouraging her in her own desires instead of trying to get her to fulfill her own wasted dreams.
"I'm sorry. That was cruel. I'm glad your son is safe right now."
She clung to him, crying her eyes out and showing the first glimpse of real human emotion to anyone in the past three years. The last time she'd really cried was one night when she was up late thinking of Syndall. She didn't think of her family much but the locket with Syndall's picture was always around her neck. Even now when she was pressed against Tony and crying her eyes out.
"I know I'm not the greatest mother but you never expect this could happen to your children. You never think about it until something like this does happen. I'm lost, Tony. She's the only family I have left."
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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:20 am
Tony took a breath, looking a little winded by her questions. He shook his head slowly.
"I just know. These strange happenings... they've happened before. Did I tell you I was once in a coma? For a month or more, it's hard to remember now. But it wasn't what it seemed. And I woke up. I have faith that whatever Harmony is doing right now, she'll return home."
He looked down. He had only vaguely thought about what he would do if he were in her shoes, if Nate had been suddenly taken from him. Though they didn't get along, Tony would be a complete wreck with worry.
"No, it's not cruel. I understand your point. If Nathan was in danger, or if he were gone and I didn't know where, I would be as upset as you are." He let her cling to him and cry, not doing anything to stop her or make her feel like this was a bad thing to do. She needed the release, that much was clear. He did hate seeing her suffer, though, and wished he could tell her more.
But he couldn't.
"Don't think that. I'm certain you're a more amazing mother than you're giving yourself credit for. Just seeing you now... I just wish I could do more to help you, I really do. I just have faith in you. And in her. If she loves you even a fraction as much as you do her, she'll come back to you. I know she will."
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Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2011 3:43 pm
She seemed to calm after a while, the tears drying up almost completely. Or perhaps simply wrung dry from her eyes. She was all but lying against him now, wiping her eyes dry and trying to come back to some semblance of control. It was hard, practically impossible, but she finally managed. She had her arms around him like she was holding on to a giant teddy bear or something similar. This sort of person to person contact was also something she hadn’t managed in a long time and was happy to be able to do now.
What was better was that he let her and didn’t seem put off by it.
“When she was younger I used to read the Beatrix Potter books to her. Her favorite was the Apply Dapply’s Nursery Rhymes. Even when she was too old for them she loved me to read them. She could say them along with me by heart. Neither of us really needed to open the book.”
She shook her head against his body, having leaned it conveniently against his chest. Her legs were brought up and her knees were pressed against her chest. She held onto them with one arm and onto him with the other. She frowned, turning things over in her head.
“I doubt she really remembers the days when she was young. What it was like. I was barely an adult when I had her, Tony. It’s a miracle I survived at all after my sister’s suicide and my parent’s death. She was the only thing I lived for and she hates me for never being there for her. How could I? I went to school by correspondence. I worked two jobs. And then by the time I had a normal life she was busy with her friends, creating a life of her own.”
She sighed, closing her eyes and feeling a bit more regret. She’d made the only choices she could in the time she had. She was only eighteen and barely that when Harmony was born. The only thing she could do was make sure her daughter was taken care of by working herself to the bone. Harmony didn’t understand that. It was easier to be tragic if she made herself the victim.
“I hope she knows how much I love her, Tony. I hope she knows how worried I am and how I would give anything to be able to be there with her right now. I can’t believe she’s dead. I can’t.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 7:01 pm
Tony sat with her on the sofa and gently rubbed her arm, trying to soothe her fears and her crying, but not indicating that she had to stop if she didn't want to. He was there for comfort, to offer her a safe place and an ear to use as she willed, so she might help herself cope better with her loss.
In whatever definition that word could take on. Even Tony didn't know that, though he did know that the woman was not daughterless. Not yet, and not ever if they were lucky.
It just further hardened his resolve to get those civilians home.
"Beatrix Potter?" He smiled at the the thought. It must have been nice, he found himself thinking, and with a surprising hint of jealousy, raising a daughter from childhood into adulthood. He had never known his son before he was seventeen years old. And by that time he had been a complete lost cause, so to speak. Rude, bitter, jaded and vicious, Nathan Darrow was nothing like his father. And certainly didn't want to be his friend, or even, as far as Tony could tell despite his efforts, his son.
He heard teenage years were the hardest, but he imagined they were easier still if they weren't the only years he had.
"It's impossible," he said, shaking his head, "trying to raise a child and trying to support yourself. You had to make what sacrifices you could, and I know she must understand how painful it was for you to not be with her more. She'll come to acknowledge it one day, I know it. Have faith, in whatever you need to, but don't give up on her yet."
He meant that in different ways.
"You managed to see her grow up, to give her a life she doesn't realize she owes to you. She loves you, I'm sure of it, Kyndall, just as much as you love her. Kids must express themselves in their own ways, but that doesn't mean she loves you any less for it. Anger is one thing, but the bond between a parent and their child is endless. If I could, I would bring her back from where ever she's gone for you."
And that was a secret promise.
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 8:26 pm
"Of course you understand that, Tony. You're an adult and you know full well what it takes to change your life entirely once you're forced to take a good long look at where it's heading."
She didn't know the specifics of his life, of course, or the things that defined his course. She didn't know about his past or why he didn't meet Nathan until the boy was nearly grown. She didn't need to. She imagined everyone had that point in their lives where they had to decide if where they were heading was truly where they wanted to be or whether this course warranted a change. For her it had been Harmony.
Knowing there was a child coming, even an unwanted one, gave her something to cling to when she literally had nothing left. No family, no direction in life, and no real will to live. She lived for Harmony and busted her a** to make a life for Harm like the one she had when she was a child: comfortable, always supported, and loved. Above everything Kyndall wanted her daughter to know she was loved. She seemed to get it when she was younger but when she turned into a teenager everything changed. It was like she transformed one night in her sleep into someone else entirely.
But this wasn't something she could explain to Tony even if she had the words to try.
"I wish you could, Tony. I really wish you could. I miss her so much my heart feels empty."
Which was likely the reason why she'd been sitting cuddled into her crushes' arms for the last half an hour and she hadn't even thought twice about it. She was content to sit on that couch with him and let him comfort her for as long as he could. She could certainly do with the company. She didn't really want to be alone now or anytime in the foreseeable future though she could only ask him for now.
"I don't expect you to tell me everything will be alright. I don't expect you to feel obligated to me at all. This means more to me than you'll ever know, Tony. Thank you for being here for me right now."
She sat up and turned when she said that, very much sincere. Her violet eyes met his and she looked into them, searching but not for anything specific. He still had his arms around her and she had hers around him, hands balled on the fabric of his shirt.
"I mean it. With all my heart, thank you."
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:01 am
Tony nodded his head thoughtfully. He knew that very well indeed. He had changed his whole life, after a point, because he simply had not been able to keep up the reckless way he had been conducting himself. It was not only dangerous to himself, but to everyone around him.
He wasn't too guarded in his history, though, and if she asked him he would likely share the details that went in to creating the librarian and knight he was today. Maybe not the knight part, though.
Unless it was a metaphor.
He looked at her as she thanked him, wishing he could do so much more than offer her words he knew would make her feel better, despite the fact that he was almost lying. Lying by omission, lying through hope. He didn't know which was worse, but he did both in an instant and he felt the guilt of it almost as immediately.
He knew Harmony was alive, but couldn't tell her. He knew she was also stuck in space. But was it really a terrible thing not to want to ruin Kyndall's whole view of the world by trying to explain this war between senshi and negas, the existence of space and home planets, past lives and youma? He was fighting for normal. He was fighting for life. The very last thing he wanted to do was take a civilian's life and turn it upside down of his own selfish choice, and force them to bear more weight on their shoulders, more fear and confusion, then they could ever know in their day to day.
He couldn't do it.
"You're welcome," he said softly. "I just wish there was more I could do."
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Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 3:46 pm
"Stay with me tonight."
Under different circumstances that might have sounded like an invitation of another sort. Right now, however, it was spoken in a broken tone to someone she was beginning to trust more and more. She wasn't asking for his sake, of course, but for her own. She didn't want to be alone with the doubts and the fear she had inside of her. She felt warm and safe with him after days of feeling cold and uncertain. Just with his arms around her she'd stopped shaking for the first time in hours and that cold knot in her stomach was less noticeable.
"I mean...I don't want to be alone."
Oh, sure, it would look horrible to anyone outside of the apartment in that moment. God knows what his girlfriend would say if she knew but she wasn't asking with them in mind. She was asking for herself and innocently. She shivered once and sighed, unsure of how he'd react.Then she decided to confide in him the one thing she'd been keeping to herself, puzzling about for a few days.
"I was out wandering the other night in the park on the south side of town. I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going. I met someone there. He said the reason the people disappeared and why the weird things happen around here has something to do with what he called terrorists in mini skirts. You know, those girls they do news stories and articles on sometimes when something really bizarre happens. Do you think they're really to blame. I always wondered who they are and why they're here but I never stopped to think..."
She trailed off as she decided she'd suddenly gone mad.
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Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:16 am
Tony looked surprised by her request, and his face went a little pale. He looked at her in wonder, thinking that he had to let her continue or he would leap to a thousand different conclusions and none of them were particularly free of nerve wracking awkwardness.
He cleared his throat.
"I... I see," he said, keeping his voice even. He understood now what she meant: she wanted him to keep her company. He wouldn't do that. Smiling softly, he nodded his head and gave her a reassuring squeeze of his hand over hers. She was dealing with the terrible burden of not knowing if her child was safe, or even alive.
He could easily keep her company, and help to keep her mind off it.
As she spoke, his eyebrows furrowed.
"They were lying," he said quietly, "they aren't terrorists. My life has been saved more than once by a 'terrorist in a mini skirt'. there are more things going on then you... know. And I... I am not the man to tell you about them, I only know what I've experienced. But they are good people, and there are bad ones too. They're not all the same, the people you meet out there, and they're not fighting for the same thing. I've lived here for long enough to have learned that."
He sighed, wanting to tell her more. But he would only be able to do that as Camelot.
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Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 5:03 pm
She squeezed his hand and leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling comfortable. The tension gone, he agreed to her request without any of the awkwardness that might have been caused. When he spoke against her theory she shook her head, wondering at it for a minute or two before she replied.
"How do you know, Tony? What if they're only using you? I mean...I've never seen these girls when I've been in trouble. And if they are so good why aren't they saving my little girl?"
She pulled away from him, bristling at the thought. She wasn't exactly being rational right now. This was her daughter they were discussing and not some random citizen. She had no idea about his life as a knight so any words he had on the subject were suspect. After all, the new stories were never in favor of these girls and the boy in the park seemed convincing (or maybe she was simply vulnerable and angry and needed someone to blame). How could he now say that they're not the source of her problem?
"And what have you been doing that you needed your life saved by them?"
She had no clue just how close to danger she got on a daily basis or how close she'd been talking to the Negaverse Lieutenant. She viewed him as someone who cared, not someone spreading poison and more than anything she needed someone to blame right now, someone who she could hate because she was hurting. She needed it.
"If they're not to blame, Tony, who is? Tell me who can I blame! I just want to hurt something and keep hurting it until they feel as broken and helpless as I do!"
Her violet eyes filled with tears again and she was gripping the fabric of his couch so tightly her knuckles were white. She wasn't thinking clearly right now, that much was obvious. A few tears slipped down her cheeks again. God she was tired of crying! She wanted to be able to do something to fight back. She wanted to be able to go out and find the problem, have someone to face down. But she couldn't. All she had was Tony's couch, his soothing voice, and a very broken heart.
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Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 10:30 pm
Tony watched her, his expression sad but understanding. It was impossible for the normal civilian to really understand the world they were living in. Even he didn't understand it, and he was far from normal any more. Still, sometimes, he felt just as helpless as he had before he had become Camelot. Just in different situations.
Like right now.
He shook his head, choosing his words carefully.
"I can't explain everything. I don't know everything. I just know that when I am in trouble, they come to save my life. I know there are not just one type of... terrorist, if that's what you want to call them, out there. There are more, and some fight for the wrong reasons. Some want to hurt you, yes, and they'll do what they have to in order to defeat the ones that get the worst PR. The girls in the skirts, though there are more than that. They... they're good, most of them."
He took a breath, shaking his head and pondering things a bit more.
"For a long time now I've had a problem with ah... being a magnet for monsters. For the unexplained. I know it's impossible to believe unless you see it, but you live here. You've seen the news. The people who swear they were attacked by a monster. The sightings and the unexplained. I don't want you to have to suffer the same things I went through to learn about it all, but I don't want to have to be the one to tell you. Please don't make me. Just know that there is more happening here then you know."
He looked at her very seriously.
"But there are people who will protect you. Who are fighting to protect your daughter. Believe in them, and me, and Harmony." He put his arm around her again, tugging her to him so she might be comforted. He thought about offering her a glass of water, but didn't want to upset her by insinuating he was worried about her becoming dehydrated.
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 1:24 pm
She collapsed against him, crying her eyes out for the second time in such a short while. She'd never cried this much in her entire life. Not when Syndall died, though she cried plenty then, and not when her parents died. She'd had too much to do after that and hadn't had time to feel their loss. She carried it with her but never allowed it to surface. Was this how they felt losing Syn? Was it her fault for not protecting her sister? She shook away those fears. Too many other things had precedence. Right now was not the time to break.
She slowly grew quiet again, turning his words over in her mind, sifting through them and trying to make sense of them all. True she didn't know the man very well but also true he was not the world's best liar. For that matter, he danced around the truth poorly. He might be telling her the truth but he also seemed to be begging her not to look any deeper, not to press the issue. She couldn't obey those wishes. This was her daughter.
"I don't believe you, Tony. I think you're keeping something from me. You know exactly what's going on. Why won't you tell me?"
Oh, God, had she gone mad? He was here to comfort her and she was accusing him of lying to her? But she couldn't take it back now. She was too convinced she was right. He was keeping things from her and as much as she wanted to respect his wishes she couldn't. He didn't want to be the one to tell her but she had to know. She had to know what he knew and she needed to closure of finally figuring out what felt like it was in the edge of her grasp for weeks.
"Please. Don't keep things from me. I need to know. How can I believe in you when you won't trust me enough to tell me what you know?"
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