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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:05 pm
Name: Brier Adams
Nickname: None.
Age: 17
Birthday: October 27
Sign: Scorpio
Gemstone: Opal
Blood Type: AB
Fav. Food: Chicken soup, manhattan clam chowder. He's likes soups, nice and warm and comforting. Also pot pies are a favorite, the whole comfort home cooking thing.
Hated Food: Anything fancy, if it's got truffle this or truffle that and the plate looks like it should be hanging on some art gallery wall. He isn't in to it, even if you assure him it tasted great.
School: Azure Valley Academy, he is scholarship student.
Hobbies: Shopping - He isn't the type to do clothing shopping. He's rather down home and into the whole comfortable clothing thing, nothing too fancy. A hoodie and a nice shirt under it with jeans and somewhat battered sneakers is good. The shopping comes in when it comes to organic and whole foods. It's not that he watches what he eats for health reasons it's more a matter of not wanting chemicals and stuff on his food. Brier also likes shopping for all natural bath soaps, hair products, and all those good things. Again, the chemicals. He doesn't trust that in the long run they don't cause some damage to hair or skin.
Sports: Not a member of any official team, especially a school one, he likes to play with friends and even people he doesn't know. Should he be walking through the park and see a soccer game going on he will find someone involved who he can ask about joining. This isn't to say he's good at every sport, but he will try and play any sport at least once. This love for sports is the reason behind many a bruise marring his skin. Note: Brier loves soccer, hurling, and oddly enough field hockey.
Music: Expect him to have his iPod on him at all times, aside from when he's asleep. Weather it's in his school bag, a pocket, or clipped to his pants, it is there. More often than not it's also on and blasting tunes into his ears, at a volume that would leave many fearing for his hearing. He's a big fan of music and uses it as a way to wake up and also a way to fill the time, not to mention a way to block out sounds when doing homework or studying. Music is very useful, for so many things including setting the mood or altering your own mood just because you need to be in a different frame of mind to get something done. If his iPod is charging, and he's unable to play it he's got youtube up and is playing all his favorite songs.
Virtues: Outgoing: Brier is outgoing, he's likely never heard of the word shy. He likes to make friends and talk to people, he'll try to make friends with anyone in fact. Once your friends, which he's sure will happen, expect to hear from him at least every other day. He doesn't like to forget friends or not talk to them every day or two in order to find out what's going on in their lives, and tell them what's going on in his life. He will go out of his way to let you know he really cares about you, especially if your down or need something.
Non-Confrontational: Brier, being the friendly sort he is, doesn't like to get in to heavy topics with people. It's not that he doesn't have his own opinion on things, he does, he would just rather avoid a debate or argument because someone doesn't agree or like his opinion. He doesn't want to risk loosing a friend over his opinion, it's not like he's going to try and shove his opinion down someone's throat and change their opinion, but some people simply don't want friends with opinions opposite their own. Brier thinks the worst thing he could do as a friend is not accept them for who they are but knows some people are like that. This being said he will avoid certain topics or try and change topics should they go into a realm he deems unsafe. He doesn't like taking such risks, even if the person bringing up the topic is a trusted friend. This allows him to be the person who anyone can come to, with any problem. While he won't give his opinion on a matter he will dutifully nod and bob his head and agree and comfort you, he doesn't want to risk saying the wrong thing. If you want to call someone a jerk, or anything else, he'll agree and say they of course are just that; he won't elaborate. He'd sort of gained the reputation, amongst his friends and those who know him, as being the person to come to with issues.
There is of course the rare occasion when he can't avoid a topic, such as in school, it's these times that his own opinions come out because it's being asked of him by the teacher. He does try his hardest to avoid being involved in such big discussion in class, though there are the few times he can't. But he does it so he can avoid fight, disputes, or anything with those he calls his friends.
Loyal: Brier is loyal weather it be to a friend, family member, or a cause/belief. Once he's made a friend, met some new family member, or decided he believes in some cause and supports it, it becomes very hard if not down right impossible to shake him. Brier sees things in a black and white manner when it comes to this. If you are close to him, or the cause is close, it will gain his unwavering loyalty and support. He'll see a project through to the end once he'd dedicated himself to it. He'll not leave a friend, no matter what they do to him; which can be quite emotionally painful for him.
Flaws: Time management: Brier isn't good when it comes to managing time. If he tells you he'll be out for ten minutes expect him out a half hour, at least. Somehow time just flies by for him and he simply can't get a hold on it. It's not his fault, it's not like he doesn't pay attention to the time, he has a watch on at all times. So he does try, it's just that he finds things move much faster then expected and perhaps he doesn't look at his watch as much as he should; not to say it doesn't get glanced at. But he glances at it when it feels like it's around the time he needs, only to find he's way off. Thus he's really never on time for anything, including classes. It's this reason he's served more detentions then he can count.
Disorganized: Ever know someone who's room looks like a bomb hit it, or several Brier's room is one of those. Books, CD's, DVD's, clothing, and all other manner of items have become piled, stacked, and stashed all about Brier's room making it hard to find what ones looking for. Sometimes it's very difficult to get at things once they're found, due to them being piled under things or having to reach a distance to get to the item. In some cases this causes an item to be dropped, or crushed by falling items, and break. The other problem is that it can take a while to get to an item, and then get it out from where it's buried. The only up side is Brier does have a general idea of where things are. The mess no matter how many times it's cleaned seems to just...reform in a matter of days. This has caused an issue amongst friends, who find trying to navigate his room a hazard as friends (and family) have tripped, stubbed toes, and otherwise hurt themselves in Brier's room; Brier has also hurt himself though he's a bit reluctant to admit this. It's not just his room but his locker as well, ever have a history text book land on your foot? It hurts, ask Brier or the girl who's locked is right next to his. His backpack isn't as bad as his locker or his room, simply due to the lack of ability to fit a lot of things in it, but it is still a mess of notebooks and school books and pages of ripped out notebook paper with notes - reminders - written on them. Sometimes these reminders, mostly written on scraps or sheets of paper, become lost which has lead to him being late for appointments or missing them entirely. It's also lead to things forgotten, such as messages for various people in his house.
Doormat: Brier is loyal to the point where a friend could ask him to do anything and he'd jump to do it, he might even ask how high as he jumps. The point is, is that he is willing to do anything to keep his friends and not upset them or seem like a bad friend. He doesn't realize that saying 'no' to something's won't make him a bad friend. It's just that he has this idea in his head, likely due to the friend who left him over a difference in opinion, that if he doesn't agree with them, do what they ask, or have an opinion that matches there own at least in part, that he'll lose his friends.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Eyes: The eyes are dark blue, almost a navy color. The size isn't too big but not too small. Hex color: #000080
Hair: Black in color and like this.
Face: Shape face is oval and without freckles. He does have a birth mark under and to the outside of his left eye. His right ear has a small silver hoop in the lobe and an engraved cuff at the top of the same ear. His skin tone is similar to someone from India. (No idea what to call that skin tone.) Example: X
Clothes: School uniform. Normal day to day wear is anything comfortable and somewhat loose.
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:09 pm
Senshi: Sailor Celaeno, DMC senshi of fog.
Challenge: "Don't let the fog fool you. Your demise is clear."
Fuku Colour: Main Color: Black Secondary Color: Slate (blue/gray) Hex color: #6183A6 and Gray. Hex: #C2C2C2 or something similar.
Fuku: I just wanna go with the mist/fog theme and go with the general look for the DMC male senshi. Anything sheer/see through can be in the slate (blue/gray) color or the gray color while anything else solid, that isn't black, can be the other color. Sheer colors maybe decorate with some silver design?
Collar -- Up to the colorist. Bow -- Sash Bodice -- Up to the colorist. Sleeves -- Nope Brooch -- Like a swirl, misty. Done in silver. Bottoms -- Shorts or pants, prefer pants. Tiara -- Up to the colorist, something small though. Choker -- Up to the colorist, something to match the tiara? Shoes -- Boots, with or without a heel. Gloves -- Nope. Accessories -- Surprise me.
Attacks:
Sailor Scout Attack: Celaeno Rolling Fog Bringing a hand to his mouth Sailor Celaeno blows, as if blowing a kiss. A fog rolls out engulfing Celaeno from view of enemies and allies alike. It makes it very hard to attack Celaeno acting as a protection for him. This lasts for 15 seconds. The only way to end the attack sooner is if Celaeno attacks or is attacked. The distance it covers is a four foot radius. Can only be used twice in battle.
Super Sailor Scout Attack: Celaeno Heavy Rolling Fog The same as the first attack but it lasts longer, 25 seconds.Still the only way to end the attack sooner is if Celaeno is attacked. The attack expands to cover a seven foot radius around Sailor Celaeno. It still effects allies and enemies alike. This attack can be used twice in battle.
Eternal Sailor Attack: Celaeno Arrant Fog This time the fog is thicker, wetter. With the fog so heavy with moisture it makes very hard to keep a grip on Celaeno if someone should get a hold of him, as he becomes quite moist and slippery. The big difference in this attack however is that it moves with Celaeno, so he can move in a battle and pull others into the fog. It lasts only 20 seconds and covers a nine foot radius. This attack can be used once in battle. It can be very draining to use.
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:18 pm
Family and family life:
Brier is a child in a family with four children. An older and a younger sibling and a younger brother. His younger sibling being 13 and his older siblings being 19 and 22, his brother is 22 and his sister 19. He lives with both his parents, his mother is a proof reader who works at home whilst his father is a doctor who specializes in pediatrics. The office his parents share in the house is filled with medical books and his mothers work, often which is two or three manuscripts.
Things are fairly normal at home, aside from his elder brother bringing home his friends or his sister having her friends over, or the little brother and his friends running about the house. It's sort of like his room actually...organized chaos. But the love in the family is obvious, lots of smiles, hugs, and laughter.
It's all a normal life, at least as far as Brier is concerned.
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Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:20 pm
Just reminding myself I can't go for a gold slot till January 13th. Won a gold paid alt civ on October 13th with Lizzy.
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Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 9:20 pm
You know, I don't really have anything to add. Everything seems perfectly reasonable.
Challenge thought: "Don't let the fog fool you. Your demise is clear."
I dunno. It's just what I thought of.
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Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2011 9:25 pm
Ohh, I like that challenge. That really was the worst part, considering the sphere. Thank you!
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 12:11 am
How's it going Sleet? IT IS CRIT TIME.
ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE
The Organized...Sort Of virtue reads more like a flaw. While it explains that he is organized, it is written to say that he is disorganized to other people. If other people think that he is disorganized and would look down on him for it, then it should be a flaw. Also, his disorganization can tie in with his Time Management flaw. They don't overlap, but I think you can make the "Organized...Sort Of" virtue and make it a Disorganized flaw to align with his lack of time management skills.
On the other hand, the Avoider flaw doesn't read like much of a flaw. If he is someone who opposes confrontational discussions, this could almost appear to be a virtue. However, if he avoids any and all serious conversations, even when absolutely necessary, then this could be a flaw. In this light, this aspect of him could be elaborated in the Doormat flaw. The Avoider flaw I think can be then changed to a Non-Confrontational virtue, highlighting the positive sides of the trait where the Doormat flaw highlights the negative sides.
ON THE POWERED SIDE
While the Sphere is absolutely fine, and the powers are actually fine...they are too similar to the powers of Princess Ares, Senshi of Smoke! HOWEVER, there is a pretty easy fix.
The powers are fine, just clarify that the center of the fog in all powers is around Celaeno, and that they are all defensive powers for him in that they make him harder to target by cloaking him in the fog!
Overall, I think you have a really solid concept and start! Hope these revisions help, and feel free to quote me when you finish your changes and I will give your quest another read-through!
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 4:24 pm
Silent Spy How's it going Sleet? IT IS CRIT TIME. ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE The Organized...Sort Of virtue reads more like a flaw. While it explains that he is organized, it is written to say that he is disorganized to other people. If other people think that he is disorganized and would look down on him for it, then it should be a flaw. Also, his disorganization can tie in with his Time Management flaw. They don't overlap, but I think you can make the "Organized...Sort Of" virtue and make it a Disorganized flaw to align with his lack of time management skills. On the other hand, the Avoider flaw doesn't read like much of a flaw. If he is someone who opposes confrontational discussions, this could almost appear to be a virtue. However, if he avoids any and all serious conversations, even when absolutely necessary, then this could be a flaw. In this light, this aspect of him could be elaborated in the Doormat flaw. The Avoider flaw I think can be then changed to a Non-Confrontational virtue, highlighting the positive sides of the trait where the Doormat flaw highlights the negative sides. ON THE POWERED SIDE While the Sphere is absolutely fine, and the powers are actually fine...they are too similar to the powers of Princess Ares, Senshi of Smoke! HOWEVER, there is a pretty easy fix. The powers are fine, just clarify that the center of the fog in all powers is around Celaeno, and that they are all defensive powers for him in that they make him harder to target by cloaking him in the fog! Overall, I think you have a really solid concept and start! Hope these revisions help, and feel free to quote me when you finish your changes and I will give your quest another read-through! Ok, think I got it. Let me know. ^_^
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 4:51 pm
CLOSE! Almost there!
ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE
When you swapped the Avoider flaw to become the Non-Confrontational virtue, I think you may have re-worded it in a way that actually makes Non-Confrontational to be a flaw. Its mostly fine, but the last sentence makes it seem like a flaw. I think if you reworded to focus less on how him being Non-Confrontational inhibits him, and more on how it allows for more peaceful relationships then the virtue will be fine!
Likewise, in making the Organized...Sort Of virtue into the Disorganized flaw, it became a bit too virtuous! There is too much highlighting the upsides of his disorganization (that he is able to find things) and not enough highlighting the downsides of his disorganization. As a flaw, the trait should primarily have downsides!
Remember, virtues are something that other characters would think highly of your character or respect your character for. On the other hand, flaws are something that other characters would look down on your character or disrespect them for.
ON THE POWERED SIDE
I think that it'd be okay in the attacks for Celaeno to be able to see through the fog just fine! Perhaps have a clause that if he attacks while the power is active, the fog dissipates (at least in the Scout attack).
For the Eternal attack, as the powers are defensive they shouldn't cause the enemy to have difficulty breathing! It could have other effects of fog, such as dampening or moisturizing those in the fog so that Celaeno is difficult to grab onto or get a hold of! This is more offensive and too similar to the sphere of Smoke! I think that it can also have a wider radius or a longer duration if you would like.
You're almost stamp-ready I believe! Hope these revisions help and once again, feel free to quote me when you've made your changes!
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Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:32 pm
Silent Spy CLOSE! Almost there! ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE When you swapped the Avoider flaw to become the Non-Confrontational virtue, I think you may have re-worded it in a way that actually makes Non-Confrontational to be a flaw. Its mostly fine, but the last sentence makes it seem like a flaw. I think if you reworded to focus less on how him being Non-Confrontational inhibits him, and more on how it allows for more peaceful relationships then the virtue will be fine! Likewise, in making the Organized...Sort Of virtue into the Disorganized flaw, it became a bit too virtuous! There is too much highlighting the upsides of his disorganization (that he is able to find things) and not enough highlighting the downsides of his disorganization. As a flaw, the trait should primarily have downsides! Remember, virtues are something that other characters would think highly of your character or respect your character for. On the other hand, flaws are something that other characters would look down on your character or disrespect them for. ON THE POWERED SIDE I think that it'd be okay in the attacks for Celaeno to be able to see through the fog just fine! Perhaps have a clause that if he attacks while the power is active, the fog dissipates (at least in the Scout attack). For the Eternal attack, as the powers are defensive they shouldn't cause the enemy to have difficulty breathing! It could have other effects of fog, such as dampening or moisturizing those in the fog so that Celaeno is difficult to grab onto or get a hold of! This is more offensive and too similar to the sphere of Smoke! I think that it can also have a wider radius or a longer duration if you would like. You're almost stamp-ready I believe! Hope these revisions help and once again, feel free to quote me when you've made your changes! Ok, let's see if I got it this time. ::crosses fingers::
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:08 am
ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE
Non-Confrontational is still not reading as a virtue! It is less of a flaw than before, but focuses more on why he acts this way rather than how it benefits him. Instead of giving a history on why he is this way, focus more on how being non-confrontational has benefited him and how others view this as a positive trait.
Likewise, Disorganized is still not read as a flaw. If he is able to find everything and knows where everything is, it is not much of a flaw and is too neutral to be a virtue (since he certainly isn't organized). I think it would be more interesting to make him a character who is disorganized and does not know where all of his things are so that this is more clearly and accurately labeled as a flaw.
ON THE POWERED SIDE
Looks good to me, no issues here!
The changes you need to make are relatively minor, so quote me again when ready or if you have any questions! (You may also PM me if you have questions.)
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 9:16 pm
Silent Spy ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE Non-Confrontational is still not reading as a virtue! It is less of a flaw than before, but focuses more on why he acts this way rather than how it benefits him. Instead of giving a history on why he is this way, focus more on how being non-confrontational has benefited him and how others view this as a positive trait. Likewise, Disorganized is still not read as a flaw. If he is able to find everything and knows where everything is, it is not much of a flaw and is too neutral to be a virtue (since he certainly isn't organized). I think it would be more interesting to make him a character who is disorganized and does not know where all of his things are so that this is more clearly and accurately labeled as a flaw. ON THE POWERED SIDE Looks good to me, no issues here! The changes you need to make are relatively minor, so quote me again when ready or if you have any questions! (You may also PM me if you have questions.) Ok, here we go again.
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 9:43 pm
The Disorganized flaw may go better without the sentence "The only upside is Brier does have a general idea where things are." However, it does read to me as a flaw now.
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:52 am
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