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 Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 12:26 am
So I was joking around with my roommate while we were in Walmart. We passed by some KY Jelly (Lololol), and he was like "Did you need some?" So I responded, "Do I get to use it on you?" (I don't remember EXACTLY what I said...but it was along those lines.) He said no, and I jokingly asked why he wouldn't want to, and he said "Because I'm not gay." and somehow, he wound up saying "I choose not to be gay."
WHAT THE F**K!? I knew he was against gay marriage, but seriously? You think I CHOSE to be gay?
We joke around like that all the time. That's the second time he's made an attack on my orientation this year, and I called him out on it the second time, and he just said "I don't want to get into this right now." My thoughts: "b***h, you started it."
Anyway. What should I do? I decided to room with him, knowing that he was against gay marriage, but he was never a malicious person, so I never thought he'd make comments like this.
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 2:08 am
Waiiit...
He chose not to be gay?
So he has the feeling and thoughts, but is choosing to pretend he's not gay? confused
sounds like he has issues
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 2:12 am
kittycross Waiiit... He chose not to be gay? So he has the feeling and thoughts, but is choosing to pretend he's not gay? confused sounds like he has issues To be honest, I think he was just saying ignorant s**t like he normally does. He probably knew that would get under my skin. Whatever.
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 6:00 am
Saying that he chose not to be gay was not an attack. It was ignorant, uninformed, and insensitive, but you really can't rightly call that an attack.
Honestly, though, if things like that are a big deal, then you really shouldn't have decided to room with him. Being against gay marriage was a pretty big tip off. That sort of openly bigoted thinking should have offended you much more than what he likely thought was more of a self-directed statement.
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 8:21 am
Saying you choose not to be gay is like me saying I chose to like mayonaise. JFTR, I hate mayonaise. A part of who I am is that I hate mayonaise. However, if I forced myself to like mayonaise, then I wouldn't be the chick I am. I'd be lying to myself and others around me. You can't make yourself like mayonaise, you just hate it, love it, or could go with or without it. Just like how you can't make yourself be straight, you're just either straight, gay, or, like myself, somewhere in between. There is no forcing yourself. Lots of people in this world are going to force you to do things, so why let yourself be one of them? Honestly, I think your roommate is such a homophobe because he is a closeted homosexual/bisexual/pansexual. It's a common case among closet-dwellers to pretend to be homophobic. They think "Hey, if I pretend to hate gays, no one will suspect a thing, right?" Just let him know stuff like that hurts you and I think you should be fine. If this bullcrap continues, I suggest you move out.
By the way, I apoligize if my mayonaise analogy seemed rather dumb. sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 9:18 am
Sunshine Peach-Heart Saying you choose not to be gay is like me saying I chose to like mayonaise. JFTR, I hate mayonaise. A part of who I am is that I hate mayonaise. However, if I forced myself to like mayonaise, then I wouldn't be the chick I am. I'd be lying to myself and others around me. You can't make yourself like mayonaise, you just hate it, love it, or could go with or without it. Just like how you can't make yourself be straight, you're just either straight, gay, or, like myself, somewhere in between. There is no forcing yourself. Lots of people in this world are going to force you to do things, so why let yourself be one of them? Honestly, I think your roommate is such a homophobe because he is a closeted homosexual/bisexual/pansexual. It's a common case among closet-dwellers to pretend to be homophobic. They think "Hey, if I pretend to hate gays, no one will suspect a thing, right?" Just let him know stuff like that hurts you and I think you should be fine. If this bullcrap continues, I suggest you move out. By the way, I apoligize if my mayonaise analogy seemed rather dumb. sweatdrop Lol, there was nothing wrong with that analogy. biggrin Now, if you had said that being blind is who a person is, and if they feel like they should gouge their eyes out so they can enjoy the world of no ocular vision, then I might have to disagree that you provided a decent analogy xD I'mnotcreepy
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 8:25 pm
So he was originally gay, but then he got over that. You know, I used to be Korean, but now I'm not.
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Posted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 8:33 pm
DoctorButler So he was originally gay, but then he got over that. You know, I used to be Korean, but now I'm not. lol yeah its not like you can just truthfully say, hm i decided that for some reason i don't like guys now.
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Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 12:47 am
Matasoga Saying that he chose not to be gay was not an attack. It was ignorant, uninformed, and insensitive, but you really can't rightly call that an attack. Honestly, though, if things like that are a big deal, then you really shouldn't have decided to room with him. Being against gay marriage was a pretty big tip off. That sort of openly bigoted thinking should have offended you much more than what he likely thought was more of a self-directed statement. As cliche as it sounds, I didn't know he was against gay marriage until it was too late. I noticed it after we already registered for the dorm. It would have been $500 just to get out of that.
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Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 2:21 am
chose. Chose! CHOSE!
Does he think that we chose to be gay?!
Nobody chose their orientation. Some may choose not to act on it, but that usually leads to depression through self denial.
It's one thing to be against gay marriage, but to say something like that. It's....
Sorry, I seemed to have lost my cool when I first read this. I'd like to have conversations with people like him and logically explain why things like that are very insensitive.
but, if he's not being insensitive and just hates gays, I'd get a new roommate.
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