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Name: Emry Farwood

Nickname: None

Age: 19

Birthday: April 24

Sign: Aries

Gemstone: Diamond

Blood Type: O

Fav. Food: He has a tendency to really like foods that fall in the fermented/rotten category (bleu cheese, kimchee, natto...) and prefers foods that are humane and environmentally-friendly. (He'll eat meat, but he wants the animals to be properly cared for).

Hated Food: Soda pop

School: DCU (enrolled in the art program)

Hobbies:

Environmentalist: Emry cares about the environment. As a time-consuming hobby, this usually manifests as a passion for nature walks and volunteering to clean parks and wildlife reserves. He has involved himself in one or two protests, but prefers hands-on involvement and avoid the human element unless he can maintain a mask of anonymity....in which case, he is prone to full-blown eco-terrorism. This passion may, in time, sprout new hobbies like cooking and gardening (in order to be more eco-friendly). He hasn't really thought about that yet, though.

Printmaking: This is Emry's preferred art and what his focus will soon be at DCU (once he gets his core classes out of the way). He's passably good at most traditional 2D art, but doesn't enjoy it as much as printmaking. He wants to make a career of it, someday, but hasn't decided how. He hasn't learned all methods, yet, but he is most fond of block printing because it reminds him of medieval illustration prints. He thinks those are pretty cool. Emry's favorite subjects are from nature; often botanical motifs and landscapes, occasionally including animals.

Antiques Enthusiast: Emry thinks of antiques as relics of the past generations, each piece telling a story about the era. As a result, he has developed a minor, satellite interest in history. Currently, the only real concession Emry has toward this hobby is his part-time job at an antiques shop near his dorm. It is also helping him pay for school - barely. He works from open to close on Thursdays (when he has no classes scheduled), and 3:00-7:00 PM on Mondays and Fridays. Sometimes he'll pick up some extra hours if he has the time. When the shop is slow (which, to his pleasure, it often is), he'll take time to study what history he can on the merchandise (typically manufacturer and usage information since, unsurprisingly, very little is available in the way of information about previous owners).

Virtues:

Unflappable: Emry rarely lets a chaotic situation derail him and is very difficult to distract. If he sets his mind to a task, it will get done. Insults rarely get a rise out of him. Flirtations rarely string him along.

Observant: Emry tends to notice things which others would often ignore. Details in nature tend to find their way into his art. If someone misplaces something where he has had the opportunity to see it, he is likely to know where the object is. If he knows the person well enough, he might even be able to state the most likely places the object could be found. He is also more likely to pick up on something off in a person's demeanor, but he won't know why unless he has sufficient information.

Self-Sufficient: Emry's parents were a highly distracted couple, unable to offer much time for their children. Due to this, Emry has learned to take care of himself. He demands very little for himself and feels very little need to ask for concessions from others. If he needs something done, he will find a way to do it himself. Since he lives much of his life this way, he is passably proficient in fulfilling his basic needs. He is also a useful resource when others need to learn basic things like cooking, laundry and cleaning.

Pro-Active: Emry wants to make the world a better place and actually believes he can be a part of that. He may try to convince you that you can too. Cleaning the environment, stopping abuse, tearing down corrupt governments....it all needs to begin with someone and Emry is willing to be that someone. If your needs fall under Emry's sense of higher-purpose, you can bet he will volunteer to help you out.


Flaws:

Emotionally Cold: Emry does not express emotion well, if at all. He is indifferent to praise and criticism. Even surprise barely registers. This (and the fact that his neutral expression is quite reminiscent of a scowl) has caused some to believe he does not approve or does not care about others. He can rarely hold on to relationships because friends or lovers do not feel he is emotionally invested in the relationship. Additionally, Emry has absolutely no sense of humor. He does not make jokes and does not really find witty retorts have a place in any meaningful exchange of words. In the case of people who do use witty retorts, he actually does disapprove.

Withdrawn: Emry finds the emotional landscape of social interaction to be an utterly alien territory and prefers to avoid it. While he may let a person or two into his life and can remain fairly comfortable in emotionally neutral, one-on-one interactions, large gatherings are not his thing and leave him feeling quite out of his element unless he has a specific background role (something easy to ignore, like a cook at a wedding banquet).

Idealist: Emry has a very solid concept of how he feels the world should be and tends to forget human limitations. He tends to hold people to high standards and expects his actions to have profound effects in the future. He tends toward an ends-justify-the means philosophy which has fueled his dalliances in eco-terrorism. This has the potential to cause him to butt heads with authority.

Blunt: Emry doesn't enjoy spending time dancing around a subject with mindless chit-chat. Social niceties and witty retorts distract from the subject at hand. He prefers to get right to the point. It is not unlike him to ask a question or make a statement without realizing how offensive or embarrassing it might be...or without caring.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Scarlet (like magnolia seeds)

Hair: White (Check image on the right for style reference)

Face: A disapproving expression. Always. Narrow or disinterested eyes.

Clothes: Emry prefers long sleeves, mock turtle necks and ribbed fabric. Preferably all three in the same garment. His preferred colors are black, white, gray and poppy red. He often wears some sort of cargo pants tucked into a pair of boots, but has been known to wear pants with fewer pockets on occasion. When dressing up, Emry tends toward waistcoats and colorful dress shirts.

(Below is mostly idea dumping)

Ideas:
-Sailor Celemorrow: As a corrupted parallel, Sailor Celemorrow exhibits corruptions of the symbolism of the magnolia. Instead of Perfection, he is a Perfectionist: he is overly critical and disapproving. No one is good enough for Sailor Celemorrow. Instead of Love of Nature, he is Misanthropic: he hates humanity for the way it treats nature and itself. Instead of Nobility and Magnificence, he is an Elitist: only nature and the senshi are worth saving. Even then, only the senshi who properly care for the nature around them. Instead of Perseverance, he is Stubborn. When fulfilling his duties, he will act more as an eco-terrorist, specifically targeting polluters, poachers and the like. He would tend to favor nature-friendly senshi as potential future corruptees and would likely try to kill Sailor Atë (for example) on sight.
-Much of this is currently outdated or needs rewording. Since this is not necessary for the shop, it's the lowest priority and may never be reworded. Still, it's a good look at what I'm trying to do with DMS Sailor Celemorrow.

I'm trying to make Sailor Celemorrow's attacks offensive. This is more to fit with Emry's character (who is a preexisting OC). If the attacks are too similar to existing senshi attacks as described, I'm willing to think up new ones, but I'd like to keep them offensive as much as possible.

Why Celemorrow?
Because I like how it sounds! Really! I don't like the idea of using the name of a mythical figure for a sphere as specific as magnolias and Celemorrow fit the feeling I want for the character: a sort of doleful baroque. Also, there are a freakin' ton of asteroids that would make awesome senshi.

Why Magnolias?
Mostly because Emry is a preexisting OC that I am trying to fit into the Moonshop and magnolias are his thing. Well, magnolias and guns, but that's where the eternal attack comes in.

Magnolia Symbolism: According to Buzzle, magnolias symbolize (among other things) nobility, perseverance, magnificence and love of nature. White magnolias also symbolize purity and perfection.

Hi! I don't have time to do a full crit right at this moment (I'll come back to do that later <3) but right off, his age isn't going to fly. Senshi can be awakened at 21 at the absolute latest, I am fairly sure! So you will need to scale that down =( I'm sorry!

I threw up a few quick fixes for the age. He's 19 and an art student now. I need to flesh out his hobbies, flaws and virtues, still. I have his personality all thought out, I just don't know how to articulate it properly.

Hello Verithe!

I’m happy to see more and more quests for DMS. I think your sphere is really interesting (especially a flower-related sphere for a male! Don’t see too much of that! So yay!)

In general Emry has good bones. But that’s more or less all that’s there. The majority of your traits are short, with 3-4 sentences. They could all stand to use a little bit of beefing up. I usually find it helpful to thinking of ‘How/What/Why/When’ traits works. How does a trait show up, how does it make Emry act towards others, why would he react a certain way, when does that happen? I find it can be really helpful to include a few example of how a trait might play out in a social situations. Thinking about these things and adding a few lines to address them will likely help your chances in contests.

Hobbies:

Enviromentalist: You don’t really need to include what Celemorrow would do with his power in the hobbies here. The hobby should be applicable to all his forms, but mostly his civilian identity. So rather than say he would abuse his powers by attacking polluters and such, it would probably be better to make that a general statement about Emry. You mention that he’s done a few protests, but he could be doing more than that in his civilian life. I like the part about his volunteer work for cleaning up parks! Maybe he’s avid about recycling, is part of an environmental awareness club at school (including some protests, or less then legal attempts to free the bunnies from the science lab at school).

Printmaking: Is there a reason why he likes that medium? Does he have a preferred subject matter? Is his art only for him/grades, or does he make an attempt to sell it at craft/art fairs?

Instead of having a Hobby called Part-time Job, you can rename the hobby to Antiques Enthusiast/ Collector or something like that. Including the fact he has a part-time job, explain WHY he likes old things. What does he like about them? What’s his collection like, is there a particular era he looks for things from? This are just examples of the kind of information that would be good to know!

Virtues:

All your traits could stand some beefing up, as I’ve already said. If something does bother Emry, how does he deal with it? Does he just shrug it off and give cool comebacks? Using situations and examples could help you here.

Friend to the Animals… Is not really an ideal trait. The best traits are ones that apply to diverse situations and people. This can still be true about Emry. I would explore other positive traits he might have that would be more evident in rps. He’s already tenacious. So we know that he’s a man who sticks to his plans, doesn’t let things distract him so easily from achieving his goals. Since he’s an art person, he could have a Creative, Observant, or Hands-On (works well with his hands, learns best in direct applied situations like projects/labs instead of just taking notes). If he has a soft spot for animals, is there anything else he might have a soft spot for?

Flaws:
Perfectionist: So, Emry is never quite satisfied with things, yes? It’s a very strong flaw that highly evokes his misanthropic nature. Which is fine. But I would like to hear more about how Emry might vocalize or show his displeasure with something? Is he critical about other’s work, as much as his own? Does he take forever to work on projects or homework because it’s just never quite good enough? How does he react to his own short comings?

As with the other flaws, they're fine, but using a few examples would be helpful!

On the powered side:

Black is necessary for DMS, but only for their bodice, so no matter what, black will be in the fuku. Having white or ivory as main color for collar/pants shouldn’t be too much of an issue really. Typically dark/corrupted senshi have darker colors, but I don’t see a reason you can’t have a white collar.

Attack wise, I think you’re fine. There’s nothing really wrong with them. To be honest, you could probably do more with the eternal attack. Think of the eternal attack as being the strongest, highest form the sphere can achieve. Shooting some seeds is pretty similar to other senshi’s starter /super attacks (examples: Pomona shoots peppers at people, my own character Chibi Ixion throws coals for his starter attack).

I’m not sure what exactly you could do, but don’t be afraid to try something badass (but something offensive/defensive like the previous attacks could work. Or perhaps something related to a magnolia’s symbolism or the properties of the plant. I have heard that magnolia bark has a strong aroma and is popular in some medicines. Just keep in mind that when you have offensive or defensive powers for your beginning stages, your eternal powers should ideally also be offensive or defensive). I always find mythology or homeopathic herbal remedies/ aromatherapy guides helpful in coming up with powers.

The attack is fine really, so you don’t need to change it at all and you can always submit a revision down the line if you come up with a different eternal after you get your character.

I hope all this is helpful to you! When you've completed your revisions, please do resubmit him for another crit and hopefully stamping!

Progress Report (mostly for me, though this may be helpful for anyone willing to help me along):

I pretty much overhauled the Flaws section to better reflect his schizoid tendencies. A few bits feel redundant or have redundant wording. I need to fix that.

I'm working on a similar overhaul for Virtues, but I have hit a wall for the night. I don't really like where I'm going with Observant.

I think I'm done with Hobbies. I may need to tweak/add some things when I review what I've written later.

I...am probably going to leave his Eternal attack as is (for now). Ranged Offense/Crowd Control is most fitting for Emry/Sailor Celemorrow's character and I tried to walk the offense/defense line with his first two attacks. I would like for the attacks to have a "nature's wrath" feel (as a bit of a perversion of the "Love of Nature" and "Purity" symbolism of the magnolia). I would love to add more offensive power to the Eternal attack, but I'm uncertain how possible this is within the confines of the sphere and I'm comfortable with the attacks as they are written, so long as they are acceptable as per the rules.

I made a few tweaks. I'm having trouble fleshing out Emry's virtues. I think I have everything else how I want it now.

Hi Verithe! Interesting Quest you have here~

I wanted to mention a few things that I noticed while being nosey, that maybe minor (and you're free to dismiss if you feel the need since I'm not staff).

Since he's 19 I don't believe you have to mention he's in school if you don't want to since you placed non-specified art school. Destiny has a few school lists but I don't think you 100% have to follow those. Does he have a job outside of going to an art school?

However, and I'm not sure with DMC but I believe the max age for a Character to be a senshi is 18 (they don't have to awaken right then, they could be awakened later). I know I had this discussion ages ago before the DMC existed so things might have changed (thus don't quote me) but just in case keep in mind you might have to pop him down a year.
I believe Sailor Aster has a similar attack in which she uses sunflower seeds to pelt the enemy with.

However, Gale-force speed maybe a little muchness at the base level, even for a DMC. To me that would be like saying a F1 Tornado does the same amount of damage an F5 does.

I could see going a high rate of speed - sort of like base ball pitch speeds. Specially with the amount of damage you describe happening. Because if this was gale force wind speed you'd very likely make mince meat out of the target.

Also, Unflappable to me reads.... a little flat.

Something to think about with the flaws and virtues is how these would help/hinder him? And You kind of go that way with the Observant trait and you do seem to do it well with the Flaws (and flaws are often easier to word from my experience.) You also seem to cover in some of them how they effect him on a daily basis.

Something I sometimes find helpful if I'm having trouble is nosing through threads that are in the accepted forum and have crits on them. Often times these crits lead to wonderful questions that totally help the profile. 3nodding If you're still playing while waiting for a mod to poke in and comment.