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 Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 7:32 am
  Richmon: *noses about, knowing Akahi will be near by* Akahi: Richmon! -Trots over to him timidly- Richmon: Ears pirk up instantly as He heard Akihi's voice and he turned to greet her. "Hello, Akahi." Akahi: Hello! How are you? -Reaches over to bump his nose with her own- Richmon didnt flinch or feel awkward with contact from Akahi any more. In fact he even smiled a little as she did so. "I am a little tired, though doing quite well. How are you? Everything is all right, isnt it?" Richmon asked in reference to her timidly approaching. "Everything is well. I haven't seen you in so long." She knew part of it was that she was just out of touch with the world lately, but it worried her that maybe he hadn't missed her that much. Or at all. "Why are you tired?" "I am sorry about that," Richmon said, his eyes actually reflecting the remose he felt for not coming to visit in so long. "I... needed time to come to terms what I was feeling." He lightened up a bit though as he continued on. "I came accross a young stallion riecently, though it was compleetly by accident. He was..." Richmon scrunched up his nose and furrowed his brow at the though. "Mutilated beyond belief. The ones that attacked him intended for him to die. I was able to heal him enough to save his life, but I couldnt heal him compleetly - It seems that in this form I'm not as strong as I once was." Richmon dropped his head slightly. Akahi smiled softly and shook her head. "There is no need to be sorry, it isn't anyone's fault." Blinking at him curiously as he told his small tale she cocked her head to the side in concern as her ears twitched in even more worry. "Will he be okay? What on in the lands could do such a thing?" She asked it, but she probably knew. Kalona or Skinwalkers. Thinking about it made her shoulders shake in a moment of fear. She would never get over her aversions to monsters, but she was getting better at recognizing the real thing. "It was a Kalona and a skinwalker, the grandmother and cousin of the stallion. I honestly dont know if he will be okay thoug, it will take quite a bit to heal him. He was... Lost, not only injured. He believed was evil, truely and deeply, he had been trained by and trained with those that attacked him; but he seemed to be hesitant about his life, almost as if after his injuries he was questioning everything he had done and was doubting his lifestyle. I talked to him a while, trying to shed light on his soul and help him, push him towards a better life. I think he helped me though more that I helped him." Richmon paused and nodded. "He had been alive before he had been attacked, but he hadnt lived a single day in his life. We concluded that one's life was like a pool of water, and if it doesnt touch other pools, or if the soquili never impacts or interacts with another soquili, the life becomes stagnant and dries up into nothing. The more a soquili impacts others though and interacts with them, even if only for a brief moment, the fuller the pool gets and the greater the life becomes. As mortals, we live through others." Richmon lowered his head and sighed. He furrowed his brow and shifted his footing as if contemplating how to put what he had learned that day. Finally heraised his head once more to look Akahi in the eyes. "I realized that not only he had been given a second chance at living... but I had too." The story of what had happened to the stallion he'd met confirmed her suspicions but as he continued it went from a judging frown to a genuine smile. This was one of the few times she'd seen him open up about learning to live as a mortal, and though she still had very little idea of what that actually meant, it was warming to see that he was coming to terms with who he was. What that meant; and most importantly, what that meant about living and being with other soquili. Stepping closer she draped her head over his neck as best she could. "That, of all things, is the best way of putting to words what life is. I'm so happy for you Richmon." Her Richmon... Though again she wasn't quite sure what that meant, she just knew it to be right. Richmon watched as Akahi's facial expression changed, and though the frown worried him slightly, the smile confused him more so. His confusion was soon put to rest though as Akahi rested her head over his neck; the only time he had had contact like that before was when he had done so to her the night he had lost his temper. It was a comforting gesture that was shared among friends, or a caring gesture between those that were considdered family... or an affectionate one from mates. Richmon honestly could not discern which of the three reasons was Akahi's for doing such and action. Typically he would compleetly exclude the final reason, but he didnt think the gesture was comfort, he didnt think he was family... That left only the third reason despite them not being mates. Perhaps there was another reason he had not come up with yet? He kept any comments or questions to himself on the matter; he had also come to learn that some curiosities were better left untill a more appropriate time. He stretched out a wing and wrapped it around Akahi lightly. "Before then I had never realized just how little I had lived in this world. It's quite frightening just how long one can go without ever knowing."
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Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 9:00 am
"Indeed it is, Richmon." Akahi said it as she pulled back, but not enough to be uncovered from his wing. Looking over his face she watched as he usually did her. He seemed puzzled but content, and she chalked it up to him not realizing how complicated life could be until now. "You've had a relatively short time to figure it out, and it looks like you're learning swiftly. Did you know it took me meeting you to finally understand what living is about?" Richmon nodded, there was wisdom in Akahi's words. "Though it seems as if you learned quite a while before I did. It is quite strange, relying on more than just one's self in order to live, though it is not as odd as I had origonally anticipated." He paused and lowered his gaze for a moment. "But it requires trust and honesty, something I know can not be given freely to just anyone." He was confused by this, though he tried not to show it. She knew him better than that-- The puzzlement crossed his face briefly before he schooled it away, but she didn't know what to say to him. Honesty had never really been an issue for her. Or rather- Whom to be honest with had never been an issue. "You know me, I don't think I've ever thought about watching who I'm honest with. Trust on the other hand..." Trust would always be something she'd have a problem with. As it was she was still troubled over that last stallion she'd truly trusted and the fact that since their children had been born he'd vanished from her life. "Trust seems to be a key deciding facter in so many lives. Trust the wrong person and you may get hurt; dont trust the right person and you may hurt them. One can not live without trusting another, but one may figurativly die if they trust another. There is no safe route with i it seems - an extremely complex aspect of mortality." Richmon paused and watched Akahi; he knew he had interrupted but her trailing off had not been due to his interruption. "Are you all right, Akahi?" Richmon asked, curious as to what may have caused her to have become silent. "No no, I'm okay. I was just thinking. Trust is exactly like you said- It's so fickle." Her ears twitcihng in thought she looked down at her hooves. "But I can trust you, right?" She knew that was such a silly question. Not because she didn't trust him, but because how could one ever be sure that the answer they got would -in itself- be the truth. Richmon paused at the query and contemplated it for a moment. He looked Akahi over, searching her for any indication as to whether or not there was a correct answer - no indication could be found. Instead he senced a bit of hopefulness and worry. He touched his nose to her cheek as she looked to the ground, yet another sign of comfort, he so wished that he could ease her mind and make her happy, but knew his answer may very well not. "In all honesty, Akahi, I do not know for certain whether or not you can trust me. I can not promise that I will never Lie to you. I can not promise I will never do something deciptive to you. I can not promise I will never hurt you." He dropped his head a little and looked to the ground. "I've already hurt you once after all. I dont know what I will do; I do not yet know nor can I controle the feelings I am discovering. But..." He paused once more, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. "I do promise that I will never intentually hurt you, and that I will do all I can to ensure that you have the very best that life can offer, to ensure that you are well, safe, and happy." Akahi's chest swelled and dropped several times as he spoke, but she knew the conclusion she would come to in her heart the more he told her his fears and the promise he made. The blue mare knew without any doubt that she'd put all of her trust into him anyway. The lingering feeling on her cheek from where he nose had just pressed against it said it all- He was her very best friend, and friends trusted each other. Always. Looking up she was surprised that tears weren't rolling down her cheeks. Instead she gave him the brightest, girliest smile, she'd given anyone. "You're the greatest friend and stallion I've ever met, Richmon. That promise isn't just a promise to me, I feel," she paused. "I feel it's a promise to the both of us. Friends for always, come what may." Richmon looked up at akahi to see her hapiness and eagerness, but he couldnt help but feel as though his promise was just not enough. "I... I can not promise that I will always be your friend though... What if..." He paused once more, raising his head and laying his ears flat. His over analyzing mind had yet again gotten the best of him. "What if, in time, the best for you is to not be friends with me?" Akahi looked at Richmon and shook her head. He had to know that would never be the case, right? Sure, she couldn't promise that either, but she knew that right then and there that would never be a choice she'd make lightly. If at all. She was old enough to know her own mind once it was made. "Richmon, I can promise you that I would never do that. The only way that choice could be made was if you were to be the one making it." Reaching over she returned his gesture of comfort on his cheek. "You had better learn now, sir, that the concequences of you making a decision like that for me would be dire as I would not take it pleasantly. At all." "Even if it were to meen that you would be well, safe, and happy?" Richmon asked. "You would posibly put yourself in harms way and make yourself unhappy just to stay friends with me?" It was a doubble edged sword to tell the truth - if something were to happen where she would be happier without him she would still be sad because he was gone. He was so confused. Akahi couldn't help but chuckle. "I've put myself through worst in the name of --" Of what, Akahi, she asked herself. "Friendship. Nothing could pull me from your side if it meant I got to also talk to you and share your burdens. That's what a true friend is." Richmon was not the only one confused. Richmon looked to Akahi, not associating her experiance with Tempest to the term Friendship. "What could posibly be worse than continuiously hurting someone you are friends with because there is no other choice, because no matter what you do you will still hurt them, or be worse than being the recipiante of such actions?" Knowing. To Akahi knowing and feeling helpless would always be worse. Always. Or even not knowing. Why did relationships have to be so difficult. "If you knew that I was facing danger or hardship and had cut you out of my life for your safety. That feeling of helplessness... You're right Richmon, there is nothing worse then hurting a friend," she didn't want to get angry that he wasn't seeing her point. Or rather, that he was but didn't realize she was saying the same thing. "Cutting someone from your life for their safety doesn't actually save them from anything. It places your judgement call over the value they place in your friendship." Ears flattening as she tried to think of what she wanted to say, she closed her eyes intently. "It hurts worse then any physical pain in the world to be walked away from and abandoned without knowing why-- Simply because the person you'd given all of your heart and love to felt you would be safest that way." Never again would she do that. Her ears and eyes lifting to look at Richmon, there was fire in the blue pools of her eyes. "I will not go through that again, My Judge." Richmon furrowed his brow, even more confused than before. "So itis best to know that danger will befall your friend and let them decide whether or not to stay by your side through the danger than to keep them from ever facing it?" He paused once again, tilting his head slightly towards akahi as he attempted to understand her last statement before her resolution that she would never go through the abandoment again. He paused for quite a long time, the wheels in his mind turning furiously as he attempted to not draw the wrong conclusion. Simple, honest, questioning was the only thing to come to mind - he could not know what the mare was truly meaning after all, her words were confusing to him, or better yet, the posibilities of underlying meenings and connections were to great of importance to simply assume and guess about. "Akahi? When you speek of abandoment, of placing one's heart and love in a soquili and them simply dissappearing, are you speaking of your previous mate? Or are you saying that you are doing so with me?" "I mean that my previous mate put me thought it once, and I won't let you do it to me again." There. She said it. Well, she sort of said it. She had already placed a lot of her self and trust in Richmon that she felt like it was too late to say anything else. Honesty was the best policy right?
It would have been if she'd known she was going to say that to begin with. It would have been great if she'd realized she even felt that way before hand. As it was it surprised her more than she assumed it would even surprise him, and it showed itself on her face in the way her cheeks turned a deep magenta and her ears pressed themselves against her skull. It was an answer that Richmon had not expected. Though she had not flat out said that she had placed her heart and love in him her implication was clear. She had believed that she loved her previous mate, she had trusted him fully, cared for him beyond what words could describe, had been happy with her mate and had desired a family with him. Then he had made a deal with a demon and had left her alone with the 'disfiggured' foals she blamed herself for. Her hurt had grown, and as it had done so so did her anger and hate, creating the embodyment of 'Wrath'. Richmon's intentions had never been to get the mare beneath his wing to love him, or even like him for that matter. He had simply wished to rid her ofher anger and hate, to give her a fresh slate on which to write the story of her life. He had simply wanted to stay by her side and ensure that she was safe and well, that she was happy as she healed from being broken mentally. Though at the same time, when he had taken on the burden of healing the mare before him and shairing the weight of her troubbles he hadbeen cold as stone and as equally unfeeling. As he had come to know what worry, fear, sadness, and anger were he hadnt realized that not only his emotions were being stirred and affected by their relationship, but that hers were as well. But... Despite Richmon knowing of these emotions and despite having come into contact with many different combinations of them all, he could not addiquately say that he knew what the emotion of love was. He could not recipricate the feelings that the mare before him had. He worried that the mare before him placed too much trust and faith in him, and that in the end he would never be able to return the feelings that she had stated she had. Of course he could mimic actions, but from what he had been told and had seen of coupples there was more of a connection that simple physical actions. "Akahi..." Richmon said, a moroseful expression coming to his glowing yellow eyes as he attempted to retain his composure. "All I want is your happiness. All that I want is for you to feel safe and protected always. If it meens that I must never leave then I never will... But..." It hurt for him to continue, for some reason it physically hurt to talk. "But you spoke of love and of mates... You have placed everything in me that you placed in your previous mate I believe. But... I dont know what either is." Akahi could see it in his face- and it cut like a knife. She let him say his piece, each word causing more anxiety and leading up to the ultimate 'but I don't feel the same'. Instead he simply told her he didn't think he could because he didn't know what it was. Without saying a word she stepped forward and placed her nose against his, not a kiss. Just a gesture. With that gesture she willed all of the happiness and laughter he brought into her life to be understood by him. "When you want to share your life with someone, when that's all you want in order to bring them happiness and have your own happiness..." She swallowed. She'd no idea that it had caused him pain to talk to her, and he had no idea that it was causing her pain now. An aching in her chest. "I don't know if that's love either. I didn't have this with Tempest. Maybe I did at first, but not for long, we spent too much time running from his family. I don't think anyone really knows what either of those things is, but isn't it enough to just want to be together? Be around each other and watch the other grow and enjoy being around them even more because of that growth?"
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Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 9:07 am
Richmon didnt budge as akahi pressed her nose to his, instead he closed his eyes at her touch. Akahi never finished her statement. Could it be that love was a feeling that could not be described or pinpointed? It seemed evident, but Richmon was fearfull. He moved even closer, pressing his forehead to hers, their noses still touching. "All I want is your happiness, to see you smile, to hear you laugh, to know that you are always safe and well. I want you to have everything in your life that you have always wanted, and I would do anything in my power to make it so..." He took a deep breath as he begain to tremble, his eyes still s**t as his brow furrowed almost in a pleeding manner. It felt as though a stone had been dropped into his stomach, as though some invisible demon was gripping his throat and making it to where he could not speak. Tears began to form through shut lids as Richmon fought to continue talking, even if the forced words where only a whisper now. "I am affraid... I am afraid Akahi. I am afraid I will hurt you." Akahi pressed against his forehead equally and though she wanted to kiss away all of his tears she knew they were neccessary. He always seemed so much older when she'd first met him, but the more she'd watched him seem grow and change and adapt the more he seemed like just a child at times. Richmon was still so new to feelings and life that it broke her heart. Fluttering her eyelashes against his, she smiled sadly. "The truth is, I'm afraid too. I'm afraid that you'll hurt me but mostly I'm afraid that I'll hurt you. I'm terrified that I'll let you down or dissapoint you. That I won't be what you want." Still she didn't cry, as far as she could tell she'd gotten all of that out the first time she realized she cared about him so much. Sighing warm breath against his nose, she nudged against him. "Maybe that's how I know that I'm in love with you- The terror of losing something I find to be so precious but at the same time I would do anything to make you laugh. I would do anything you told me to so long as it meant you'd be smiling at me." Richmon was compleetly lost now. Nothing was logical, nothing could be explained. He almost gasped in a deep breath as Akahi nudged him, the first full breath he had taken since he had started saying hs wants. They were both afraid, both clueless, both lost as tothe true feeling of love it seemed. "There is nothing ou could ever do to dissappoint me or let me down, you can not hurt me, and I will never leave you." All knowledge, contemplating, hesitation and reserve went out the window as Richmon pressed forward even more, rolling his forehead from hers and resting his neck over hers. He wrapped both wings around her tightly, pulling her closer. "So..." he started with a slight chuckle as, for the first time, he simply acted and didnt think at all. "What now? Where do we go from here?" Closing her eyes she leaned into him as much as she could, just to feel his warmth. She wanted to tell him that she knew he'd never hurt him, as much as she was afraid that he would or she would hurt him. She wanted to tell him that reciprocated his promise ten fold, but all she could do was laugh. Breathing in and out on his shoulder, she just laughed until her face hurt. "I don't know, Richmon, but I don't care as long as it's with you." Richmon chuckled; it was so good to hear Akahi laugh. Though he had never fully grasped the concept of happiness he could only describe the feeling that he felt now as such. "I've heard others say before that love and being in love is one of life's greatest journeys. Perhaps that is exactly what it is? An unknown adventure shared by two, each day just as mysterious as the first. I've never made that association, but it seems to fit." Richmon buerried his face in Akahi's mane one last time before withdrawing just enough to look her in the face. "I do suppose, however, that this meens I'll have to find a place that I may call home somewhere near by. I wont be able to wander as I have these past few years." "Why not?" She bumped his shoulder with his nose in a playful fashion with laughter in her eyes. "You've been wandering for as long as I've known you and we've still gotten to this point. All it means is that I'll have to follow, and I should. It's been a long time since I've just let the wind take me somewhere without being afraid of where it will lead me." "But what of your friends? What of your home? What shall become of them in your absence?" His question was simply concern, though he was genuinly curious as to how traveling may affect the relations Akahi had built. "They're building lives and relationships of their own right now," mainly she thought of Indah and smiled warmly. "The best thing about the few friends I have is that I know they will always be my friends and will celebrate that I've found someone that makes me feel like I'm home no matter what part of the lands I'm in." The same way she was happy for them. "Then they will not mind if I stole you away." Richmon said with a smile, a statement, not a question. "Okay then, though I am not sure as how the journy will go by ground. What say you to setting out in whatever way the wind blows us in the morning? It'll alow us time to rest up for the adventure ahead?" Akahi looked up and realized it was starting to get late. Brushing her lips and face against his cheek, she nodded. It was a nice night and they weren't in the worst place to just settle down right there and then. Buckling her knees under her she layed down at his feet and looked up at him. "That sounds good." She really couldn't think of anything better, and it made her feel like a foal all over again. Richmon layed down as well right next to Akahi, though due to never having laid next to anyone before he knew not the proximity that was alowed. He left some space between them, though it was only a few inches of room. He stretched out a wing, draping it over Akahi like a blanket to keep her from getting cold in the night. He touched his nose to hers gently before whispering with a smile, "Good night 'Wrath', and may you be visited by sweet dreams." Akahi watched out of the side of her eyes as he lay down, and as soon as that wing was settled scooted herself right next to him. It didn't occur to her as much that maybe he didn't feel comfortable being that close to her, so as soon as she was there her head was on his shoulder and her eyes were closed. Smiling sleepily, she whispered back to him, "Good night, My Judge. Sleep well."
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