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 Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 10:18 pm
The coffee mug warmed Carter’s fingers as he held onto it, his olive green gaze locked onto the faint wisps of steam that rose from it. Damian should be waking up soon, Carter thought as he raised the mug to his lips. He couldn’t stop the smile that came with the thought. Normally Damian was up and out before Carter woke up. Both of them had discovered what a bad idea it was to let Carter drink coffee.
This morning Carter made sure that half of it consisted of chocolate syrup. It helped him feel better immensely, though it did little to quell the nervous knot that was forming in his stomach.
Was it a good idea to ask Damian about drinking when he had a hangover? Carter had already located the aspirin and set it on the table for Damian, unsure if he wanted aspirin or coffee first. What was he going to say to him? Carter took another sip of his drink, waiting for the caffeine and sugar to kick in while he waited.
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 10:59 pm
It was with a groan that Damian rolled over in the bed that he shared with Carter, his eyes beginning to open only to clamp shut again as the morning's sunlight filtered in through the window. <******** my life," He groaned again throwing his arm over his eyes. His head was pounding and he felt like death warmed over. He was most definitely hung over.
After a moment he rolled again his arm stretching out to Carter's side of the bed, his movement pausing as he felt it was empty. What? He pushed himself up, the blanket falling off him exposing his bare chest. "Carter?" His throat was dry, his voice a croak. He winced rubbing his head, he needed coffee, coffee would help the hang over.
He made his way out of the bed, getting to his feet unsteadily. He glanced around the room searching for discarded clothes. For once they had all made their way into the hamper and he had to shuffle over to the dresser. He opened drawers at random, a white tank top being pulled on a pair of jeans being pulled on next.
Once he was dressed he made his way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen the smell of coffee helping to wake him up. Looking around he saw the aspirin first and then Carter. Staring at the bluenette the night before came flooding back to him and he looked away. He was an a**. What he did was completely inappropriate.
Looking away from Carter he picked up the bottle of aspirin shaking two pills into his hand. He clenched his fist around the pills making his way into the kitchen, still not saying anything. He wasn't sure what to say, he just needed coffee, then maybe his head would stop pounding and he'd be able to think. Setting the pills on the counter next to the coffee pot before picking it up and pouring himself a cup. He sipped at the dark liquid not bothering to add cream or sugar. Picking up the aspirin he popped them into his mouth and washed them down with the bitter liquid. The coffee took the edge of his hangover, but his head was still hurting and he knew if he moved too fast he'd be nauseous.
Damian crossed the room sitting at the table across from his boyfriend. Lifting the cup to his lips he took another sip then lowered it to the table, his hands wrapped around the mug. Looking across at Carter his lips tweaked up in the faintest smile, the other man had made him coffee after all. "Hey," He didn't know what else to say so he figured it wouldn't hurt to go with a simple hello.
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 11:33 pm
Movement on the other side of the room drew his gaze from the dark depths of his coffee. Staring into it yielded no answers. He did not say anything as Damian made a bee-line for the aspirin and coffee, giving him only a nod as they made eye contact before drinking again. Damian was up. Now what should he do?
Uncomfortable, Carter took another sip of his coffee and grimaced, recoiling as he put the mug down. Ugh! The chocolate syrup slowly slid down the side, sprinkled with the remaining dregs of coffee. He shook his head and pushed the coffee mug away from him as Damian sat down, rubbing his tongue against the roof of his mouth in a vain attempt to rid himself of the taste.
“Morning,” Carter replied, gesturing to the mugs. “I made you coffee.” He felt silly after he said it. Of course Damian knew he made him coffee -- he had a cup right there in his hands! Restless, Carter stood up and grabbed his mug, refilling it before coming back to the table. He fidgeted in his seat, picking up the spoon to mix the chocolate and coffee together with a nervous clink clink clank of the spoon.
Carter moved the spoon towards the center of his mug, quieting it immediately. The silence stretched between them. Carter shifted again, looking from his coffee mug to Damian back to his coffee mug. “So,” he began, avoiding the issue. “Sleep well?”
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 11:56 pm
"Thanks" Damian didn't say anything about the fact that he obviously already knew he had made coffee. It was a nice gesture and one that the redhead appreciated. Silver eyes watched as Carter moved across the room, taking a moment to really look him over while his back was turned. He still sometimes saw traces of Alorie in him, but more and more he was just seeing Carter as he was. He wasn't quite sure how to feel about that, he was still having a bit of trouble coming to terms with having feelings for his best friend. Except for when he was drunk, then he seemed to lose all inhibitions like most drunk people.
He looked away as Carter turned towards him, staring into the inky blackness of his coffee. The silence stretched out between them, only broken by the clinking of the bluenette's spoon against his cup. The sound was annoying, especially with the headache Damian had, but he didn't snap at the other man. Carter didn't deserve that after what the redhead put him through the night before. Even so he couldn't help but be relieved when the clanking finally stopped.
The sound of the other man's voice drew Damian's eyes away from his coffee and to Carter's face. The awkwardness between them was obvious, but he tried to play it off and act normal. It didn't really work. He cleared his throat before he answered the other man's question. "Uh, yeah, sorta." There had been an awkward moment when he woke up in the middle of the night and realized he was wrapped around Carter like an octopus. There had been a moment of panic before Damian disentangled himself, rolled over and went back to sleep. He took another sip of his coffee before he spoke. "What about you?"
In the back of his mind he wondered if he should bring up last night, would Carter want to talk about it? He wasn't sure, and he didn't want to bring it up in case the other man didn't want to talk about it.
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:26 am
The silence stretched between them as Carter lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug. “Well enough.” He couldn’t think of what else to say or add to that. He did manage to sleep marginally well on the couch before Damian woke him up, and after that he did sleep better in their shared bed. He was completely out when Damian spooned him; he had no idea what had transpired.
Carter lowered his mug and twisted it clockwise then counterclockwise in his hands, thinking. This wasn’t a comfortable sort of silence. The silence was as loud as an elephant in the room, once that Carter was trying very hard to avoid.
So, in usual Carter fashion, he tackled it in a roundabout way. “Hey, Damian?” Carter asked his cup before looking up, “Out of curiosity, where’s your car?”
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:36 am
Damian nodded as his question was answered, "That's good," This had to be the most awkward conversation he had been in. He focused on his coffee again sipping it, he knew he needed to get something to eat at some point so the acrid liquid didn't tear up his stomach too badly, but he could eat later, the thought of food right then had his stomach rolling. He was doing good just to keep the coffee down.
Carter's question jogged his memory and he swore. "Goddamn it, I left the Jeep at the bar." That meant he'd have to go back, he couldn't even ask Carter to do it for him since the other man didn't have a license. He raked his fingers through his hair. On the one hand it was good that he had left his car, it meant that he didn't drive home drunk. On the other hand he had a very long walk ahead of him to get it back.
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:44 am
Food was the last thing on Carter’s mind. Especially given his track record of burning things. If he wanted food, the only way he was going to get it was uncooked until both he and Damian could trust Carter around the stove again. There was always the alternative of cereal, however Carter didn’t know off the top of his head whether or not the milk was still a liquid or quite chunky.
Just thinking about the unknown quality of the milk was enough to put Carter off of trying it. He instead focused on Damian, letting a sigh of relief leave him at the answer. “That’s good. I mean, it’s good that you know where it is and didn’t drive it when -- I mean. That you didn’t try to drive it home. After.”
Carter chased his awkward fragmented sentence with another sip of his chocolate-coffee mix. “Could be worse,” he added unhelpfully, “It could be impounded. Or crashed halfway through the wall.”
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:51 am
"That I didn't drive it home drunk, you mean?" His expression turned ugly, but it wasn't directed at Carter. He was staring into his coffee cup disgusted with himself for having no control, and for thinking that going to a gay bar and getting drunk would help in the first place. He sighed setting his cup on the table before he let go of it so he could cradle his forehead in his hands.
He couldn't help but snort at the bluenette's words, the action making him wince. He was still hung over after all. "If I crashed through a wall I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here, I'd probably be in a hospital," He paused "or dead." He was being morbid, but he couldn't help it. The silence needed to be filled with something and the first thing that came to Damian's mind were snarky remarks.
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:59 am
Carter’s initial reaction was to flinch, even if the words weren’t directed at him. He didn’t answer him; he simply nodded in agreement to Damian’s words. Even considering that possibility sent a chill down his back. He wouldn’t know what to do if Damian was even in an accident.
Unluckily for Carter, it seemed Damian wasn’t against discussing those things. “Well, maybe.” Carter said uncomfortably. “Which is why you didn’t do it. I just... I don’t want to think about it.” He frowned, considering. “Do you... Are you up for talking about it?”
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 1:10 am
Damian sighed his hands falling to the table. "I don't know, Carter. What's there to say?" In reality there was a lot to say. Damian could say he was a drunk, but that he didn't want to be, or that he was sorry for the way he nearly violated his boyfriend. But those were all things that were hard to say, not because he didn't mean them, but because saying them would be admitting that he had a problem.
He stared across the table at Carter, a realization slowly forming in his head. He couldn't keep everything inside anymore. He couldn't keep secrets from his boyfriend. He remembered telling Carter just that the night before. He took a deep breath letting it out shakily. "I'm sorry about last night, I was... inappropriate." The redhead looked away from the other man feeling ashamed about what he did. He still hadn't admitted that he had a drinking problem, but it was a step in the right direction at least.
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 1:23 am
Damian had a good point. What was there to say? Or rather, how was he to say it? He didn’t want to offend Damian or upset him. The problem was that the subject matter had a fairly high chance of doing so. Carter wished he could talk to Alba about this. Alba was like an older sister to him, and not only knew what to say but also how.
Thing is, Alba wasn’t here right now. It was just him and Damian. Carter listened as Damian apologized, slowly nodding in response. “It’s in the past now,” he told him. “It’s just that... When you drink? Not drink period, but drink that much? It makes me... uneasy,” Carter stumbled with his words, wrestling with them. “It’s like you become an entirely different person. I don’t know what to do or how to react when you’re like that.”
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 1:43 am
For a moment he felt relieved as Carter seemed to forgive him, but then he kept talking and Damian closed his eyes as the bluenette's fears were brought up. His words hurt, and they would have hurt even if the two weren't together. The fact was Carter was his best friend and he didn't want to hurt his best friend.
For a long moment he was silent mulling his words over. What would be the right thing to say? 'I promise to stop drinking, it'll never happen again' was the obvious choice, but was it an honest answer? Doing his best to ignore the dull throbbing in his head he thought hard about that. Was he ready to stop drinking? Was he ready to grow up and face things? Before last night he would have said no, but...he remembered the way Carter pleaded with him, basically begged Damian to stop touching him. What he had done was disgusting on so many different levels it made his stomach turn.
Taking a deep breath he looked back towards Carter. "I have a drinking problem." There, he took the first step. "I wasn't ready to face it before, but I think now, if you'll help me, I can." He knew his drinking was a problem that wasn't going to go away overnight. It was going to take work, and he couldn't do it alone. Reaching out he touched the back of Carter's hand his fingertips resting on his skin. "I want to be better, I don't want to make you uneasy or uncomfortable."
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 1:53 am
“Of course I’ll help!” Carter said loudly, nearly knocking over his coffee in his haste to catch Damian’s hand in his own. “That’s what I’m here for. I’ve got your back and --” he cut himself off, a sudden frown crossing his features. “Crap, your head’s still killing you, isn’t it? Sorry.”
Carter squeezed Damian’s hand. “I just... I’m not saying you should stop drinking altogether though it’d be nice, I just... Don’t want you to drink too much to the point where you’re no longer you.”
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 2:04 am
He winced, the sudden jump in volume like a gong in his ear. He tried to ignore the throbbing pain instead focusing on the fact that he was holding Carter's hand, and that Carter was agreeing to help him. When the volume lowered to a normal level the redhead's face relaxed. "Yeah, just a bit, but it's alright." He brought the hangover upon himself, it wasn't Carter's fault that he was drowning his liver in alcohol.
Feeling him squeeze his hand he squeezed back gently. Carter's words had him thinking, he wasn't sure if he had the control to not over drink again. He had a feeling he would be better off at least trying to be completely sober and give up alcohol completely. "I think it might be better if I do stop drinking altogether....I don't think I have enough self-control for any other option." It would suck giving up alcohol, but he'd have Carter in return. Damian was realizing more and more how much he cared about the bluenette. It was a feeling that was growing inside him, and even though it scared him a bit he didn't try to squash it.
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 2:13 am
Carter smiled apologetically at Damian, murmuring an additional “Sorry,” under his breath. He needed to be more careful, and more mindful. Carter couldn’t hide the hopeful look that crossed him when Damian suggested that he stopped drinking altogether, followed by a look of understandable pity. He didn’t want Damian to give up something he liked -- did Damian even like drinking? Carter had tried alcohol himself once, just a sip. The rest of it swiftly went down the sink, the bottle tossed into the apartment complex’s garbage.
“Only if you’re positive about it,” Carter told him. “As much as I’d rather you gave it up completely... I’d rather you be happy than anything else.”
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