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 Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 10:57 am
 Lavan hadn't seen Raphael in a few weeks. He thought back on the day they had met. All the clocks, the sketch of the Saturn inspired one, and the sandwiches. His cheeks flushed, warming his fur as he thought of the kind fox.
Clearing his throat, he continued down the street to Raphael's shop. It had become customary for Lavan to linger about there now, always over Raphael's shoulder, watching and asking numerous questions. But recently, things had been different for Lavan. He had felt more distant from the world with its ever changing beauty. The bonds he had once had to his roommates had slipped, both of them had found love, and yet here Lavan was, completely alone.
He had curled up on his bed for weeks, thinking about everything he had come to regret in life. He had begun to dwell on his differences, and his lack of understanding and comprehension. Agonized over his cold, and lonesome feelings. Yet when he felt alone, all he wanted was to be alone. But today, Raphael was on his mind, and today, he'd go see him.
He'd be damned if he'd cancel on him...again.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:11 am
 Raphael was bent over the counter working intently on a watch. It was just a simple repair job, a suck gear, but it was something to do to keep his mind off the quiet that had settled over the shop. Used to be Lavan was always around asking questions and filling the slow hours of the day, but for some reason that had stopped over the last fee weeks.
Raphael had wondered if he'd done something wrong and offended the other male. He'd written letters, then threw them away in frustration. Nothing he seemed to write said the right things. Over the last few days he'd accepted the possibility that Lavan had simply moved on to other persuits. The thought hurt, he'd thought he'd finally found a close friend of his own, maybe someone he could finally...dare he think it...fall for...
He shook his head and idly looked down at a small box hiding under the counter. He frowned and brushed a piece of dust off the lid and then turned back to his work.
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:41 pm
Lavan walked up to the door, pressing his nose against it like he always did, peering into the shop before going on. He looked at Raphael's body, slightly tense from being bent over and laboring away on something. "Been awhile huh?" he said, trying not to be formal about it. Before, he was always formal, always polite and always asking for forgiveness when doing something silly, but his nerves had calmed down, and he was trying, as hard as he could, to seem...normal.
"The weather's quite hot outside today, do you agree?" His attempt at being casual already failing as his formality came right back like a wave, crashing into the mountain rocks.
"It's good to see you again," His eyes softened as he spoke those small words. A small smile ghosted across his lips, his shoulders shrugging as he fought himself about those words.
Those five, little words.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 6:37 pm
Raphael looked up as soon as he heard the door chime. He opened his mouth to give his customary greeting but stopped as soon as he saw who it was. He felt his heart skip a beat as the familiar form came through the door and weaved its way through the standing clocks and tables of mechanical knick-knacks.
He broke into a cold sweat and resisted the urge to spring over the counter and hug his missing friend. "Aye, hotter then Hölle," he said trying to chuckle, but it dying on his lips. He looked into those blue eyes and swallowed hard. "It is wonderful to see you again." he said slowly. "I..." he quickly wondered what to say that wouldn't sound awkward. He finally gave up and just said what came to mind. "I missed you...I was worried about you."
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 7:44 am
Lavan felt his paws get sweaty as he listened to the other. He had been worried? The alien noodle pressed his ears against his head; a small, broken smile willing itself to show with all its might upon his face, yet his eyes were sad. He couldn't just, say what he wanted. He shuffled on his paws, his wings pressing hard against his body as his tail curled around one of his back legs.
"I'm sorry. I can't...just sit still. I got scared of getting close, so I left." He wondered if it sounded like a profession of love, or if it sounded just as it was. He would always feel this way, about everything. Lavan could not stay still. As much as he loved to interact with the life on this planet, he would forever never allow himself the opportunity to be part of this world. He was his own kind within a kind, and he knew his place quite well. "I'm afraid that once I have someone I can rely on and actually trust, I'm afraid something will go wrong, or I'll end up doing something uncustomary to anger you. I'm terrible at Earthling interaction."
It had been a long time since he had told Raphael of his journey from the dusts of Saturn's rings to this planet. He could never tell for sure if Raphael had really believed him or not, but at this point, if anything, he knew the other knew there was something extremely different about him, and it wasn't something Lavan could just fix, no matter how much he tried.
He coughed awkwardly, the rings that floated around his legs stumbling just for a second because of the harsh jolt in his body, but they continued their slow orbits, turning every so patiently, like the very rings he was born from.
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 8:38 am
Raphael listened quietly then gave the other male a bit of a sad smile. "You don't have to be afraid with me. I don't think there's anything you could do that would upset me. I have so few friends, that I truly enjoy your company in whatever manner you wish to give it to me."
He fidgeted for a moment. "I understand the need to move around, I myself have felt the bite of wanderlust myself." he tried to chuckle but stop after a moment. He nervously fingered the box under the counter wondering if he should give it to the other male.
"Lavan...I..." he picked up the box and slowly came around the counter. "Here!" he said offering the box to him. "Its...I just want you to know that no matter what you always have somewhere you can come home too..." he finally finished and felt a blush coming up under his pink fur.
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:28 pm
Lavan's gaze melted as he looked down at the box. It was a bit dusty... He looked up to Raphael, but he couldn't say anything. There was a lump in his throat, and it hurt to even try to think. He shuffled on his feet, going over to the chair he always sat in as Raphael worked.
He hovered a paw over the small box, feeling like this was so much more than it was. He couldn't seem to open it though. He set the box on the table, and looked at Raphael. He tried to think of something...anything to say, yet nothing would arise in his mind. He offered a small smile, before turning and opening up the box to see the watch. It was perfectly crafted and shimmered just like the colors of Saturn. Lavan felt the sting of tears that threatened to fall from his eyes.
His throat closed up and his tongue swelled. He offered a strained smile to his friend before lunging at him and pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry! I shouldn't be an idiot! I'm just so afraid of losing anything and everything that I've come to know here." He buried his face in the other's shoulder, sobbing like a child. He felt foolish.
He needed composure. This was a display he'd rather leave untouched. He pulled back, wiping the tears away. "I'm sorry...that wasn't exactly something I wish to have done..." He turned for the door, but hesitated, his eyes going to the watch. He couldn't leave. As embarrassed as he was, and with his wings tingling; itching to leave, he just couldn't bring himself to do as such. He hung his head, feeling foolish and utterly alone.
"I'm sorry I'm an imbecile."
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:44 pm
Raphael watched Lavan hesitate and then finally open the box. The next thing caught him by surprised though as he felt the other male's arms wrap around him and hot tears on his shoulder. He slowly put his arms around the Lavan his wings flicking outward to semi-shelter them. He felt his own throat close slightly and something tug faintly at his heart.
He'd never seen Lavan so emotional before and it meant more to Raphael than he could possibly say. He never wanted to let Lavan go but he did and stood there for a moment probably looking overly foolish. His heart nearly broke though as he listened and the half-breed turned for the door the box still on the table.
Raphael swallowed hard the final words hanging on the air between them. Raphael considered then slowly came forward one paw taking one of Lavan's in his own the other sliding up and caressing his face and pushing the soft hair out of his eyes. "No...you're not. I promise I am not much better at expressing how I feel to others. I had no desire to upset you with a gift, I just thought that..." he shook his head. "I feel very close to you...I want...I..." he trailed off not daring to voice his thoughts allowed in sudden fear of rejection. "I don't want to lose you forever." he finally said very quietly reaching over and picking up the watch and attaching it to the other's collar. "It suits you very well." he said running a paw tip over the engraved symbol on the cover.
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:59 pm
Lavan leaned into the other male's paw. Fresh tears slide from his azure eyes as he slowly gazed through thick eyelashes at Raphael's eyes. There was, and always had been, something so inviting in those eyes. It was almost like staring into the universe itself, and knowing that despite its vast corners and its terrors and destruction, every small particle was in place just so one could survive exactly where they were.
"Raphael...you didn't upset me..." he spoke through a rough, uneven voice. "I've never been so happy..." He didn't want to move, he didn't want Raphael to let go, but he knew if he lingered there, an unspoken truth would be told, and Lavan didn't know how it would be received.
He cleared his throat, trying to suppress a whine and doing a very good job at it, as Raphael pulled away to focus on the watch at hand. Lavan looked down, turning his head both ways as he marveled at the watch. "It's beautiful....I do love it."
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 1:10 pm
Raphael smiled. "I'm glad. I made it with both your celestial parent and you in mind. You're both very fine models." he chuckled slightly before looking back into the other's eyes. They were beautiful eyes. Like looking down into a deep lake. You could get lost in those eyes and on more than one occasion Raphael had found himself guilty of such.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I am relieved you're happy. I want to make you happy if I can. I know that...it may not be possible, you are so very..." he stopped for a moment the word sitting on the end of his tongue threatening to slip out. "beautiful." it came out like a whisper and seemed to hang in the air. "And I am so..." He looked down at his old worn smock and paws a little dirty from the days work. "Myself." he finished. He wanted to say more, how men and women must fall all over themselves to him. Raphael swallowed his heart in his throat.
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 7:02 pm
Lavan blinked as his mind relayed what was previously spoken. Myself? So...myself? Lavan smiled warmly, looking at the watch before moving closer to Raphael. He gathered up some bravery, a trait a bit uncommon in Lavan, and pressed his nose against the other's. "But I like that, "myself." He pulled away, a blush coming to his face as he smiled softly.
"I was distancing myself from you...because I didn't think you'd want me..." Lavan admitted, his feet starting to tingle as he fought the urge to leave. This was wrong, wasn't it? He didn't belong here... He was alien, more foreign than the German fox before him. This wouldn't work. How could it work? Yet he remained put, his eyes threatening to tear up once again. He pressed his wings against his body, another way to keep him from fleeing.
He chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes going back to the watch on his neck. He didn't know what to do or say. He felt wrong, and yet he knew this was a happiness he could share with someone. Was it wrong of him to want this? Would something go wrong and he end up not getting it? He felt sick as a rush of anxiety raced into his lungs, his heart and his nerves, slamming the breath from his body and setting his nerves aflame.
He moved away from Raphael, going over to the chair in the corner and curling up in it. "I don't know...if this is right..."
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 7:13 pm
Not want him? Raphael was baffled by such a concept. Although he was slowly figuring out just how much he wanted the other male. He'd been attracted to others before, but nothing like this. He frowned and wanted to comfort the other male but he wasn't sure how well it would go over, so he stayed put and watched him move about.
He watched him curl up in the chair. Raphael took a few steps closer and hesitantly reached out a paw. "If what is right?" he asked. "Have.." he hesitated. Was that the right question? He went with it anyway. "Have you never been...attracted to anyone before?" he held his breath hoping it was the right question. He thought he was right, but he couldn't be sure. And what would he do with the answer? That was a whole new can of worms!
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 7:20 pm
Lavan looked up, blinking innocently at the question. He tried to think back on everyone and anyone he had ever met. There were so many he had come into contact with, but he had never stayed with any of them as long as he had Raphael, well, his roommates, he had, but they were different. They had their own lives, and they only came to the house to sleep really. Mostly, they all kept to themselves as it was.
"N-no..." he answered truthfully, his voice as soft as the bristling trees in the wind. "Just you...." He looked away, feeling shame arise in his body, pushing back at his heart, making it submit to its rock hard grasp. He closed his eyes, trying to hide the tears that were welling up.
"Is this not normal? Have I messed up again?"
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 7:29 pm
Raphael's eyes softened as he watched Lavan. "No...no you haven't messed up. It's...completely normal that eventually..." he sighed and trailed off. He never realized how complicated it was to explain emotions.
He tried to quiet his inner turmoil, but it was hard. He wanted to comfort Lavan so much...to make all this unhappiness go away. He bit is lip and moved closer, gently tilting Lavan's head towards his. "No...its not unnatural to..." he hesitated. "Fall in Love..." he slowly leaned down and gently kissed the other male. His eyes fluttered closed, and at least for him, all his inner turmoil faded away.
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Lady Argentum Draconis Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 7:45 pm
Lavan hadn't had enough books to read on this situation. He was absolutely sure of it. He was so immersed in culture, how could he have possibly had any time for romance and wooing books, and yet without any of their help, here he was, kissing the other male, and not holding back. A small gasp of surprise befell from his lips as he parted them, searching with his tongue for the other. It was second nature, and that's what frightened him.
But what chilled him to the core, was that he only craved the other more.
He broke the kiss, his eyes glazed over with a mixture of passion, lust, insecurity and adoration...and fear. He looked away, licking his lips, still tasting the other. "I'm sorry...if that was wrong too..." He pressed his ears against his head, his eyes closing as he tried to shake that feeling from his mind. "It felt...right to me..."
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