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 Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:05 am
It took Damian a while to walk home from the bar in his drunken state. He almost got lost twice, but eventually he made it to his front door. Their front door. Checking his watch he realized it was nearly one am. He went over Ever's advice in his head, it was totally good advice right? Rub up on Carter and see what happened. But what if his roommate was asleep? Then he couldn't implement his plan. After a moment of thought the redhead got a determined look on his face. If Carter was asleep then he'd wake him up. He had to figure this out, and his drunk mind was latching onto the idea that was planted in his head.
Unlocking the door he stepped into the apartment and looked around for Carter. It didn't take him long to find the bluenette passed out on the couch, the TV's flickering light playing on his skin. Damian couldn't help but grin, it was kinda cute. Biting his lower lip he thought about his plan, it would work, it'd be just like ripping off a band-aid to see what was underneath. For a moment he paused, what if what was underneath was that he really wasn't attracted to Carter? What would he do then? He'd already asked him out, so he'd have to break up with him and he had a feeling the younger man wouldn't take it well. But there was always the other option, that he was attracted to Carter which would come with it's own challenges, but none of them would be breaking up with anyone which would be good.
Finally settling it in his mind he pulled his shirt off, he had no idea why it just seemed like a good idea, and crept over to the couch stubbing his toe on the coffee table on the way there. He grunted in pain shooting a look at Carter who was still asleep. Attempting to be more careful (which was hard when alcohol was still seeping out of his pores) he managed to climb up on the couch so he was straddling the bluenette. Reaching out he poked him in the chest. "Wake up" His words were followed by another poke to the chest. Simple, but effective.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:34 am
There was no denying it: he was worried. Scared. Exhausted. It was easy enough during the day to focus on the work in front of him, to practice and train on his work as a firefighter. The pay wasn’t all that great, but it at least let him use his hands and body rather than his brain. Already he was pleased with the results he pushed himself to achieve.
But now, at home? He wasn’t sure what to expect. Damian? Him? An item? Could it work? The question kept him up at night, his olive green eyes left staring straight up at the ceiling as his mind turned their situation over and over again. It wasn’t a simple question or thought. He didn’t even know where to begin to even address it.
All he knew was that he wanted to talk to Damian. Not necessarily about themselves. He just wanted to talk. Ten o’clock? No sign of him. Eleven? Nothing. Carter had turned on the television to try and keep himself awake as he waited before ultimately falling asleep on the couch to where Damian had found him when he finally came in.
“Nngh,” Carter groaned as he was poked, one hand slowly rising to rub at his eye. “Did I fall asleep?” His words were mumbled, slurring together before he yawned and sat up. Attempted to sit up, at least. He had moved part of the way before his brain registered that Damian was straddling him, squinting up at him as he noticed his shirtlessness. “Morning.”
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:04 am
Damian knew he had been acting a little distant and odd ever since he asked Carter out, which was the opposite of what usually happened, but he couldn't help it. Sometimes he worried that he made a mistake, asked the other man out too soon. Or even worse, only asked him out because Carter liked him and he didn't want to let him down or hurt his feelings. It was those times that he got intensely quiet and did a lot of thinking. But even with all that thinking he hadn't been able to come up with an answer. He was still confused as all hell, and that had lead him to drinking too much again, even though he had promised Carter he was trying to stop so that he didn't repeat that horrible night he had thrown he smaller man into a wall.
He wasn't thinking about that now though, he wasn't worrying over whether or not the bluenette would be upset when he smelled the alcohol on him. The only thing he could think about was Carter and how he felt underneath him. "You did," He leaned in pressing their foreheads together before his face slid to the side and they were pressed together cheek to cheek. "Mmm, it's not morning yet," He wasn't slurring his words, but they were a bit stilted as if he had to think of every word he wanted to say before he said it.
Remembering his plan his hands lifted until both palms rested against Carter's chest through his shirt. "I went to a gay bar," He had forgotten that he hadn't wanted to tell his boyfriend that. "and I met this guy," Unfortunately for drunk Damian he wasn't thinking about how badly his words were coming out. "And we talked, and I told him I wasn't sure if I was gay or not, and then he gave me this advice." He paused his hands beginning to rub at the other man's chest. "And I think it was really good advice, so I thought I'd try it." At this point the redhead was half whispering, his face turning towards Carter's so his lips were pressed against his jaw, just below his ear. Did the plan involve kissing? Damian wasn't sure, he actually wasn't sure what exactly the plan consisted of past sitting on his roommate. Luckily for him he was good at winging it.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:30 am
A disappointed sigh snaked its way between Carter’s lips as Damian confirmed. He didn’t mean to fall asleep! The fact that he did embarrassed him; another notch on his list of “plans he was unable to complete.” His self-disappointment was shaken off and dropped completely as Damian leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together before sliding off to rest cheek to cheek.
If Carter was tired before, he certainly wasn’t now. His nose twitched. That smell! It couldn’t be -- he stared at Damian as the other’s hands rose up to rest against his shirt. Could he feel how quickly his heart was beating? “You went where?!” Carter gaped, but Damian wasn’t finished yet.
“What? Damian, we don’t have to rush th- what are you doing?” Carter froze as Damian’s lips brushed his cheeks, warming considerably as his face flushed red. “Damian? Knock it off. Are you-” He broke off. Asking him if he was drunk might not be the best move right now. "Sure you know what you're doing?" There. A much safer question, even if it could lead elsewhere.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 10:41 am
Damian could indeed feel the other man's chest pounding against his rib cage, maybe if Carter had been wearing a hoodie over his shirt it would have gone unnoticed, but with just a shirt between the redhead's palm and his chest he couldn't help but notice on a subconscious level. One of his hands pressed his palm flat against Carter's chest right over his heart feeling it beat away as his other hand continued to run up and down his chest. Remember the plan. Remember the plan. Remember the plan. He repeated the words in his head every time his inebriated brain tried to stray to another random thought.
The redhead could hear his boyfriend questioning him, and then he told him to knock it off. Lips twisted into a frown and he pulled his head back looking down at him, his hands suddenly still against his chest. It was a good thing that Carter had changed his question. Drunk Damian was a bit like a powder keg, highly unstable and the wrong question could set him off. Asking if he was drunk was one of the wrong questions. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you looked at it, telling him to knock it off triggered a different emotion.
"Knock it off?" He twisted Carter's shirt under his fingers, looking a bit like a kicked puppy. "I thought you wanted me, that's what you said." Actually, at that exact moment Damian couldn't remember his roommate saying that, but he was sure he did at some point. "I'm trying to figure out if I want you too." He attempted to scoot closer to the bluenette which, since he was already on his lap, just resulted in him rubbing against the smaller man. "I'm sure I wanna figure that out, and I think this is the best way to do it." He nodded as if confirming his words to himself and then lowered his head again, trailing light kisses across Carter's neck. It wasn't really that different from the way he'd kiss a girl, Carter just smelled more masculine and his skin felt warmer under his lips, but he wasn't sure if that was because he was a guy, or because he was Carter and he was probably blushing again.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 10:47 pm
This was creeping up his list of uncomfortable moments. Carter was beginning to understand the concept of a “bad touch” that Saturday morning cartoons used to cover. While this wasn’t quite in the region of that extreme, Damian was making Carter uncomfortable. He shifted uncomfortably beneath Damian, fully aware that the taller man was all but too willing to rub up against him.
“I think there’s other ways to find out,” Carter said pleadingly, turning his face away from Damian. He wasn’t aware of the fact that this motion merely exposed more of his neck to him than before. “Damian,” he pleaded again, “Stop. Please. You’re making me uncomfortable. Can’t we both figure this out some other time?”
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:20 pm
At first when Carter moved under him Damian was encouraged, he had to be doing something right, right? But then the bluenette spoke and the redhead froze, his lips pressed against his skin. It seemed like his plan was descending into crash and burn territory. His knee jerk reaction was to get angry. Apparently Carter didn't want him. His fists were balled up in the other man's shirt and he was about to start yelling, but then the younger man's pleading tone permeated his brain and he exhaled the rage draining from his body. He was such an a**.
Slowly he let go of his roommate and then shifted until he was sitting crosswise on his lap instead of straddling him. He rested his head on the bluenette's shoulder as he curled up against him with a sigh. "I'm sorry, Carter." He felt like an idiot, his plan didn't work at all, instead it had completely backfired. Maybe he should just sleep on the couch tonight, he didn't want to make the other man uncomfortable. Unfortunately it didn't occur to Damian that just sitting on his lap was probably still making him uncomfortable.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 11:45 pm
As Damian’s hands curled into fists, Carter’s own hands gripped the cushions tightly. This wasn’t good. He was doing his best to quell the rising panic as the worst case scenario came to mind only to be replaced by one even worse. All Damian had to do was sit up and bring a fist back before bringing it down again. Carter was at his mercy. Why did he think about pushing him? He should have turned to one side and closed his eyes to let it -- no. That was not a viable option.
He felt Damian move, his shirt loosening as his boyfriend released him. Carter slowly let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding and opened his eyes, unaware that he had closed them in the first place. He didn’t move until Damian curled up against him, and even then he did nothing after the apology.
Carter tried to think of something to say. Failing that, he settled for wiggling his arm out from under Damian, moving until he could embrace him. “We don’t need to rush things,” Carter said softly, “It’s just that...” You still scare me. Why did you drink so much? I wanted to talk to you, but not like this. I want to say it’s okay, but... it’s not. “...Nevermind.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:08 am
If Damian had been able to see into Carter's mind and saw what the other man thought he was capable of he would have been mortified. It probably would have been enough to put him off drinking for good. Unfortunately the redhead wasn't a mind reader.
Damian was quiet after he apologized, unsure of what to do. He had completely screwed things up, in his intoxicated state he wasn't sure just how badly, but he knew it wasn't good. He was starting to consider just getting up and leaving, but then he felt an arm wrap around him. The redhead closed his eyes as Carter spoke, though they quickly opened again as he tried to drop the subject.
Sitting up slightly he looked into Carter's face, searching it. "No, tell me." He put his hand on Carter's chest again, but this time he didn't rub or caress him, he just let his hand sit, feeling the other man's heartbeat under his palm. "We..." He paused trying to find the right words and figure out what he wanted to say without messing it up. "we can't have secrets." He was sure there was more he should add to that sentence but he couldn't quite grasp it.
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:38 am
He didn’t want to. Carter didn’t want to speak up, to potentially wreck what little they had. Their relationship was rocky at best: neither of them knew exactly what they were doing. Even on their best days Carter second-guessed himself, burying his worries and doubts beneath a smile.
Carter enjoyed spending time with Damian. Was that enough to make it work? He wanted it to work. Damian was more than a roommate and teammate. He was...
Carter took a deep breath. If Damian didn’t have him pinned down he would have gotten up, told him that he was tired and he was going to go to bed. Now? He couldn’t move. Carter was stuck, and Damian didn’t look like he would let him up any time soon. “I just,” he began, “I don’t know if I’m talking to you or someone else sometimes. I... I can’t tell. Not when you go out and come back like... this.” Carter closed his eyes. “It sc- worries me.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:58 am
Damian's eyebrows furrowed together as Carter hesitated, was he not going to tell him? He was about to open his mouth and say something when the sound of the other man's voice cut him off. The redhead watched his boyfriend's face as he spoke, his own emotions plain on his face. He went from confused to sad to completely broken. He didn't deserve the bluenette, not the way he was acting.
For a long moment he didn't say anything, but he did get up slowly, taking a step back. "I...I'm gonna go." His fingers ran through his hair and he looked away from Carter. He knew what the other man meant, it was the drinking again coming around to bite him in the a**. He was turning to leave when he paused, turning back towards his best friend. "You deserve more than me. I'm sorry." He turned away again beginning to search for his shirt, he suddenly felt ridiculous without it.
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 1:06 am
“Go?” Carter completely misunderstood. “You just got back! You’re in no shape to even patrol, and it’s, what, late?” Carter shifted to sit upright, watching him. What the hell was going on? Damian was too difficult for Carter to predict when he was drunk. He did his best to keep his gaze on Damian, aware of the fact that the wall Damian threw him into was just behind the redheaded man.
Carter stood up when Damian spoke again, quickly crossing the distance between them to grab his arm. “No.” He tightened his grip on Damian’s arm, “You’re not going out. It’s not-- it’s not like that at all, damnit!”
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 1:23 am
Silver eyes closed a moment as Carter spoke of patrolling, that hadn't even crossed his mind. For a moment he wondered if that made him a bad senshi. He just shook his head, having to pause a moment as the room settled down. He was still drunk so head shaking wasn't a very good idea.
His search for his shirt was halted as the other man grabbed his arm. No? He twisted his head to look back at Carter. He didn't shake his hold off, even though he was sure he could if he really wanted. The bluenette's words had him scowling. "Really? Then what the hell is it like, Carter?! I'm a drunk, that's clear enough," Maybe the alcohol was starting to work it's way out of his blood stream, or maybe he was just having a moment of clarity.
Now he did rip his arm out of Carter's hand turning to face him completely. "You don't deserve a drunkard for a boyfriend, Carter! Especially not me." He pointed at the hole in the wall the other man's body had made. "I threw you into a goddamn wall for ******** sake! Why would you want to be with me after that?"
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 1:34 am
“I don’t know.” Carter let his hands fall to his sides, shaking his head. “I don’t know, okay? But yes, fine, even I’ll admit that you’re drunk. And? You’ve been drunk before.” He crossed his arms then, staring at him and quashing the voice that added, And you threw me into that wall too.
“Why do you drink anyway? I’m not letting you leave tonight. This morning.” He glanced at the door, trying to figure out his chances of blocking Damian’s escape if he continued to leave. “How can you say what I deserve when you don’t even know what I even want?”
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 1:49 am
Some of the fight left Damian when Carter said he didn't know, maybe he didn't really want to be with him, maybe he was just with him out of fear. He was quiet as the bluenette went on, silver eyes trained on his face. Maybe his plan hadn't completely failed, he was beginning to realize how much he didn't want to lose the other man.
His question caught him off guard and he had to think a moment. Why he drank? Usually he drank because he was confused. Getting drunk and losing himself was easier than having to think about the difficult things. It was an escape for him, an extremely unhealthy escape, but an escape nonetheless. He didn't say any of that out loud though, he wasn't ready to talk about it. Luckily Carter threw another question at him.
"Then, please, tell me what you want, Carter, because you're right, I don't know." He still thought Carter deserved someone better than himself, but he wasn't going to argue that point just then.
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