Welcome to Gaia! ::

I'm a freshman at my university, and recently I've found a fun place to hang out called the Intersection. It's pretty much a lounge for LGBT people and allies, and it also houses the campus's office of LGBT affairs.

There are a ton of cool people that I've met there, including transgender and genderqueer people. Before coming to this college, I've never been introduced to someone of the "T" in LGBT. I'm completely new to a ton of gender concepts that are being thrown around.

Anyway, I've been researching, and I wanted some clarification; for example, if a man identifies as male is he considered cisgendered? And by that same logic, if a woman identifies as a male are they genderqueer? What exactly is the difference between genderqueer and transgender? As a gay man who identifies as male, should I consider myself cisgendered?

I know this all depends on a lot of tedious labeling, but I just want to make sure that I know what I'm talking about and that I don't offend anyone.

Midianni's answers were good- but I wanted to add on to them.
Yes- so, one thing you might come across are the acronyms AFAB and AMAB, which stand for Assigned Female At Birth and Assigned Male At Birth.

You'll also see people talk about their sex v. their gender.
So someone who is AMAB- and considers themselves to be a man is going to be cisgendered.
Someone who is AFAB but identifies as a man isn't going to be cis.


So for the sake of acronym length, a lot of times different genders are lumped under the T for LGBT.

The only explanation that ever made any sense to me was that the T as it's applied to the whole group that gets labeled that way is that people are transitioning from their assignment and all the stuff that goes with that to their true self. I don't know if I like that term, but I do know it's the least offensive explanation I've heard.

I'm 3rd Gendered- I hate being called genderqueer. When our brains take in information like words, they also take in subtle things that get fused with those sounds, and I think labeling my gender as "queer" does a lot to make it so I'm treated as "different" in a bad way.

"Reclaiming" words never worked for me- and I think as a society they don't work either, but that's a personal opinion.

There's no "one way" to talk about the T in LGBT- everyone has their own opinions and the best thing any of us can do is to respect people's wishes as long as it isn't harmful.

Only you can answer that one. wink

My ex was genderfluid and gay- I have met some gay men who include in their identity as men a feeling of being "femininely receptive". It's hard to explain- because it's so personal to them, but I'll do my best.

They feel spiritually that even though they're men, they have a kind of metaphysical vag and womb, but their gender identity never changes from being a man- unlike my ex who would feel they were a woman sometimes and a man sometimes.

When in doubt, respectfully ask. 3nodding

Another key idea is the difference between Gender Identity and Gender Expression. My Gender Identity as someone who is 3rd has a lot to do with how I feel and think about myself- but my gender expression matches my assignment at birth because it isn't physically possible for me to match my idea sex and it isn't safe for me to always express my gender openly- usually people will be dismissive of my gender identity as it just being a "quirk".

Genderqueer is the gender based version of sezuallity's queer. Most people who use queer are being vague, with the intent of being vague. It is mostly to not restrict themselves to one way or the other. A genderqueer person is more likely to be fluid in gender, or does not want to be identified with either side or type.