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[Q] Stroud Marinus // Lt. Schorl - ( adore help/critique)

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Edelsteine

PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:03 pm


User ImageName: Stroud Marinus

Nickname: none so far

Age: 27

Birthday: Sept. 3rd

Sign: Virgo

Gemstone: Sapphire, starstone – sardonyx

Blood Type: A+

Fav. Food: Coffee, a pipe

Hated Food: anything not coffee and a pipe

School: N/A part of the workforce

User ImageHobbies:

Antiquary – a student of the past, specifically of antiquities. Her specialty is in furniture and restoration. Stroud has a large warehouse apartment and studio where a lineup of miscellany tables, chairs, bureaus, curios, and picture frames all await sanding, polishing, refinishing, and repair. She finds the work not only rewarding for bringing superior artistry and damaged goods to life again (compared to the plywood and particle board crap everyone buys at box stores), but relaxing. While working, she likes to have her music up at chest-vibrating levels and get into a trance-zone of Zen.

Patron – She’s found her niche, and she’s good at making it make money, but she hasn’t forgotten how hard it was during college and just out of it to make ends meet. Stroud likes to go to gallery openings, fiction jams, open mike nights, dance halls, and even walk late night streets looking for buskers. She collects art, cds, t-shirts, or whatever grabs her attention. She enjoys anything that has been taken to the level of ‘art’, be it basket weaving or screen printing, penny whistle or mime/pantomime. She likes to grab phone numbers, emails, websites and blogs as well, letting her keep up with her favorite artisans. Art alone earns her regard: Se non è vero, è ben trovato ("Even if it is not true, it is well conceived").

If she can be said to have a specific soft spot of patronage, it is for large scale art-installations or sculptures, large paintings…anything where the experience is palpable and completely engrossing. These objects cause a 'flow' of a specific experience, funneling emotions and perceptions, and she enjoys it to the utmost. She picked her warehouse apartment in order to have space for her studio, yes, but also to have space to display any large scale works she buys.


Smoking – It is an art, and she enjoys it that way. But not inside her apartment, with all those precious antiques! She’s had some metal-artisans build her a smoking room out of her porch out some windows of her apartment. It has an air filtration vent like at a store, a humidor for her tobacco, and a set of antique, men’s lounge furniture. She smokes only pipes, or her own hand rolled cigarettes that use pipe tobacco instead of the usual sort. She likes the smell better, and it involves less tar staining on everything one owns.

User ImageVirtues:

Analytical – Stroud is sensitive to her surroundings, body-aware, and concerned with the general vibe of any person, place, or object she finds herself faced with. She wants to know if something is un-Zen, and in reading what is going one around her, how to best re-establish the Zen. Peak efficiency is only possible when balance is achieved.

If she's participating in a street improv, and someone is trying to put on a brave face but is actually terrified, she'd be one of those old stage hands who might pick up on the constant shifts in weight from foot to foot combined with the stretch lines at the corners of their smile that prove it to be fake. In the same situation, she might pick out a steady veteran, pair the two up with some small talk, shore up the weak link and increase the chances of the improv going off without a hitch. By the same token, she's the sort who notices magazines being out of place in a stack, or where on a table top there is still heat from a recently removed coffee mug, and she can put two and two together to figure out that someone is lying to her about not having anyone over. Stroud reads situations to weigh risks - how many cops patrol the area and how well lit is that alley? Alright, probably get caught if we started a graffiti jam. But the three of us are fast, and that dumpster is a good launch over the chain link fence to get into that park. Good to go!

Occam’s Razor – the realm of complication, of filigree and reaching theory is that of art. Outside of art, Stroud lives and breathes by practicality and necessity. That which isn’t necessary is cut away. When problems arise, solve them expediently. The less cluttering her heart and mind, or those of others, the better. She only keeps close friends who prove they have direction in life, she only keeps contacts that can provide her with clients, and she only supports other artists who have vision.
In daily life she doesn’t buy extra unless she’s expecting company, and she frequently goes through her belongings and donates, recycles, or upcycles anything that is no longer needed, worn out, or no longer inspirational for her. Unless there’s a reason, she doesn’t waste energy lying or manipulating others, because she wasn’t put on this earth to be a babysitter. Usually people enjoy her straightforward way of dealing, as it means she’s a voice of reason and objectification. If forced to deal with inefficiency, Stroud avidly looks for solutions to the problem, throwing all her analytical skills to work. Does she need to throw money at the problem? Done. A few well-placed lies? Done. Does she need to just kick someone’s teeth in to frighten the minions into line? Someone better call the dentist, because there’s going to be an accident. Her manner will grow curt, and her flaws will kick in – but the situation WILL be remedied. She won’t split hairs about how it has to happen, legal or illegal. Equilibrium will be restored. She gets jobs done, and that has earned her respect.

Flow – Stroud has followed eastern meditation techniques her whole life. She adores and usually exists in this mental state of single-minded immersion that harnesses a balanced emotional sphere in order to maximize energy, focus, and activity. She adores helping others find this state as well, and hopes to find a friend or friends to merge with in a state of one-consciousness, her own circlemates in life and art.
Flow increases motivation, aligns energy and energizes those who reach it, not just in meditation but in any task where one has achieved this altered mental state. Since she spends a lot of time in this state, Stroud is more free from anxiety or depression than most people in modern society. To be satisfied with life, according to many psychologists, a person needs at least two of three primary things: Autonomy, Complexity, and a Connection between Effort and Reward. Stroud experiences all three regularly, as daily Flow increases her work output of bringing beautiful antiques back to life, of selling product and making enough money to more than live comfortably, and of providing her with new and exciting technique and restoration challenges. She is often a mix of jubilant and relaxed. A healthy individual mentally and spiritually, she is motivated and self-confident. Stroud knows who she is, what she is about, what her boundaries of ability are, and that she can find a way to achieve any goal with enough elbow grease. And most things in life aren't done well alone, so she's often approaching other people to chat them up, learn about their interests and goals and make connections. She's eager to find other driven people with many different skills, whether they are successful financially or not, whatever their field and trade knowledge and experience. 'Rome wasn't built in a day', but with Flow and the right ten people we can build in it a week....and party every night while doing it.


User ImageFlaws:

Libertine – Mama always said if you can’t be an example, be a warning. Stroud does differentiate between ethics and morals. She can be an ethical person, thinking about and understanding the right and wrong as defined by the society that she is living in. But she will follow her own path, right or wrong. Stroud wants to live art, create art, and become art, because she knows when the chips are down – everyone is dead and that is all there is. The point is whether or she lived with a vision, a purpose and left something behind worth staying the ages. When dealing with other rich at lavish openings, or with the metal scene at bars, choices presented aren’t always moral. She likes it that way.
Spoken for? Are they right there to contest it? Oh, they are? Well, they should join in, then. Two drink limit at this club? Time to find a better club.

Abrupt / Obstinate – Because of the Razor, Stroud has little to no grace for anyone or anything that does not prove meaning and efficiency. For example, people who talk more than they need to, whether out of fear of silence or personal pride, or rules with no reason but to cause inconvenience. If it isn’t art, and something is unnecessary, than it should be prevented, removed or destroyed. Similarly, she understands social ‘grace’, but most systems of manners fall under ‘unnecessarily complex’. Stroud will say what she thinks, what she feels, and act on these things, regardless if it will hurt others, or lead to possible injury for her. Others need to be less superficial. If it involves her fist and someone’s face, they are welcome to do the same back. It would make sense. Love openly, hate openly, and take care of it with swift independence. Some people might consider this level of honesty a virtue, but they would be ignoring the fact that Stroud isn’t doing it out of a sense of bettering others and honor. It's because you make her sick. The *only* exception to this bluntness is in lying, if lying/acting proves the more efficient way to manage a situation. But she won't be able to keep it up forever if the problem keeps pushing her buttons.

Grim Judge – Stroud considers her own views enlightened by their simplicity and appreciation of what truly matters. It is a point of ego that she is not likely to relinquish, having spent all her years in pursuing efficiency and perfection of purpose. She considers herself a leader, and those who have no purpose shall be left behind and unmourned. Those who prove ill-suited need refinished as the antiques she so loves to work on. Those who prove crooked of purpose (not in reference to the morals of their purpose, but inconstant/waffling about their purpose) need both broken down and fitted to new mold, or to be discarded. She will not hesitate to perform any of these functions, and others, making herself judge/jury/executioner even if it's stepping on a superior's toes. Most people fall into the category of forgotten and left behind for having no purpose or aims to their lives, woe to those who do not.
If she cannot remedy the situation immediately for some reason, she will not hold a grudge so to say, but will act as soon as she is able. This may lead her into troubles with the law, ‘superiors’, or friends. She will not argue, she will act. If they prevent her, they will be judged. If they can prove superiority, then they can leash her.

User ImagePHYSICAL DESCRIPTION User Image

(obviously staff artists would make a much less fail, more than 2-colour shading Stroud, and can play with the features and make her look awesome)

Eyes: Hazel

Hair: tight ponytail, straight to mid-back. Bleach-white (roots may or may not be showing, but it'd be awesome if they were. Her hair is naturally an dark ashe blonde). Widow’s peak.

Face: a ‘celestial nose’ (smaller, upturned), diamond facial shape

Clothes: hip hugger black jeans, a pre-wornout t-shirt with Magritte's La trahison des images silkscreened on it that mid-drifts (she's tall and lanky and bought it short on purpose). Really rocking awesome belt and belt buckle of some sort. A starburst pattern of microdermals (Look up work by Chris Saint in CA) is shown by the open collar on her chest. Stroud is wirey, but with defined muscles from hauling around furniture, woodworking and metalworking.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:05 pm


The Libertine
Rochester: And yet you do not draw the moral of the incident.
Billy Downs: Which is?
Rochester: That any experiment of interest in life will be carried out at your own expense. Mark it well.


Poooooooossible power-up:
User Image
Negaverse Alias: Lieutenant Schorl
Challenge: The only thing left to decide now is how...you die.

Uniform:
Top – stock tie with brooch, underbust cincher. Waistcoat.
Bottoms – hip-flaired jodhpurs, come to just under knee , hose/kneesocks
Gloveslace cuffs
Belt – no
Shoes – artist choice
Shoulders – artist choice
Accessories – artist choice
Weapon -- a nackered old horse crop, like it came out of some estate auction (then Knout, then a rattan 'dragon' cane)

COLOUR:
User Image

Edelsteine


Edelsteine

PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:10 pm


Lord Byron
He who surpasses or subdues mankind, must look down on the hate of those below.


Why Would She be Recruited?:

Given comrades who have drive and purpose, she's not only a team-player but will honestly enjoy plotting and carrying out nefarious deeds of wonderment. The Negaverse is a whole community of these driven, unified, stunning people with a deadly purpose. No intimidation or threats needed to get her to sign up, be loyal, or work hard...just lay it out.

She's not squeemish about the 'value of life' of any one individual (person, animal or plant), so she requires no duplicity or coddling with missions. She prefers the straight up what-and-why, and she'll gladly do what she can to make it work efficiently and beautifully.

She may have some issues in accepting hierarchy, but that conflict would hopefully generate plot with superiors. Owners of those characters could showcase their badassery and reinforce the structure of the Negaverse.

About Schorl:
Chemistry: NaFe3(Al,Fe)6Si6O18(BO3)3(OH)4, Sodium Iron Aluminum Boro-silicate Hydroxide.
Class: Silicates
Subclass: Cyclosilicates
Group: Tourmalines
Uses: mineral collection specimens, electrical uses and as ornamental stone.

Mindat.org

The early history of the mineral schorl shows that the name "Schorl" was in use prior to the year 1400 (AD) because a village known today as Zschorlau (in Saxony, Germany) was then named "Schorl" (or minor variants of this name). This village had a nearby tin mine where, in addition to cassiterite, a lot of black tourmaline was found. First mentioned by Ulrich Rülein von Calw 1505. The first relatively detailed description of schorl with the name "schürl" and its occurrence (various tin mines in the Saxony Ore Mountains) was written by Johannes Mathesius (1504-1565) in 1562 under the title "Sarepta oder Bergpostill". Up to about 1600, additional names used in the German language were "Schurel", "Schörle", and "Schurl". From the 18th century on, the name "Schörl" was mainly used in the German-speaking area. In English, the names "shorl" and "shirl" were used in the 18th century for schorl. In the 19th century the names "common schorl", "schörl", "schorl" and "iron tourmaline" were used in the Anglo-Saxon area (Ertl, 2006).


User Image


Stroud takes a survey:
1. What is your salad dressing of choice? Balsamic vinegar.
2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? McDonegal’s Pub, the Irish know how to kick back with a crowd of friends.
3. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it? Toast
4. What are your pizza toppings of choice? sun-dried tomatoes
5. What do you like to put on your toast? Condiments
6. How many televisions are in your house? One, it’s a 7” Sentinal model 400, and I’m refinishing it for a collector.
7. What color cell phone do you have? Metallic army green
8. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? 2 wisdom teeth
9. What is the last heavy item you lifted? Antique Oak Bureau Circa 1880, 39" wide by 43" high and 21" deep. b*****d oak.
10. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Oh, yes. Bar fights are like that.
11. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Hell yeah! Then I could have a party every day until then.
12. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Just hot sauce, sure. Some designer hot sauce off one of those giant shelves in import foods stores, no.
13. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? No.
14. Last time you had a run-in with the cops? About a year ago, got a citation. Indecent exposure for topless modeling in a public fountain for a guerrilla art installation.
15. Last person you talked to? William, the clerk at the smoke shop.
16. Last person you hugged? Every person at the gallery hop last week.
17. Favorite Season? Autumn.
18. Holiday? Halloween. Always go drinking with puppeteers, they’ll even make beer cans talk.
19. Day of the week? Wednesday
20. Month? November, cold enough to wear beautiful coats and scarves, but not cold enough to have to close them.
21. First place you went this morning? The diner to grab a cup of coffee.
22. Do you smile often? I'm don’t see myself to know.
23. Do you always answer your phone? No. Phones are a convenience, not an obligation
24. Do you own a digital camera? Yup.
25. Have you ever had a pet fish? Yup, tons. Easily won at carnivals. Keep ‘em in old glass globe tops to light fixtures.
26. Can you do push-ups? yes.....how many??
27. Can you do a chin up? sure
28. Does the future make you more nervous or excited? That depends on the day
29. Ever been in a car wreck? Yeah. Fractured a few things here and there. Don’t let friends drive drunk.
30. Plans tonight? Laundry, then a round about the park. I hear there are some high school garage bands setting up a battle down there tonight.
31. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Nope.
32. Have you ever been given roses? No.
33. Current worry? getting things done in time
34. Current hate right now? oxidation
35. Met someone who changed your life? everyone we meet does that just a little, I hope
36. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Smoking my Peterson Ebony Finish Milverton
37. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? “Move, feet”
PostPosted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 10:11 pm



Edelsteine


A Wandering Esper

Beloved Stargazer

PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 5:08 pm


Heyo my darling - crit for you :>

For Patron - what kind of art is Shroud's favorite ? This seem a little broad and general to me, currently. I feel like it's missing that one thing that really catches her eye. Surely there are things that she like more than others, even if she has a broad like for all art ! Restoration is probably at the top of her list, of course, but what else ? Does she love to admire and perhaps collect artisan jewelry ? Paintings ? What about things like farmer markets ? One could consider homemade cooking an art in itself !

You talk a lot of how zen and meditative she is in her flaws/virtues, and it seems to me like it should be listed as an hobby as well, given that it seems to be such a big part of her life !

I love her smoking hobby, no crit here. XD I can just imagine her kicking back with a pipe like an old-times gentlemen. It really makes her stand out a lot, imo, as does the antiquary. I don't think I've actually seen antiquary on any characters in the game so far, and smoking has never been done this way, as far as I know !

I think her virtues can be expended on a little, especially since her flaws seem to have some more meat on them than the virtues have. Some tangible examples on how ocram's razor applies as a virtue could be nice, imo. I can see how it is a virtue, but how does she apply it to her daily life ? Does it affect her relationships with others positively at all ?

Her flaws look good and very descriptive :>

And the rest looks good to my tiny french brain. Hopefully that helps !
PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2011 12:34 pm


Friendly Crit from your Favorite Poof!

I don't think you need to do much to Stroud's form, it's very well put together - nice and juicy - but one or two things could benefit from a little expansion. :3 I must say that I love the 'questionaire' you have 'her' fill out, and all the information about Stroud in the Negaverse.

Reading over Stroud's virtues gives me a great handle on her generally, but mayhap could use a bit of meat. They tie in beautifully together and with her flaws, but I'd really love to see you go more in-depth with her analytical side, with Occam's Razor. What sort of reaction(s) does being forced into situations that push at the edges of these virtues? How does she function with others in regards to them?

For example, you have her being analytical and wanting to 'fix' anything that she finds 'un-Zen'. Does she do this by bowling over whatever's causing the discrepancy or by using diplomacy (I'm going to go with bowling people the hell over >D)? Does she use her awareness of self in space, in situations, to manipulate things into changing?

And perhaps the most important question: WILL SHE MARRY ME? I mean, who did those fantastical microdermals *___* <3

*rereads the crit* hmm...perhaps I should have titled this "unending praise for a superbly put together form? >_>;;; *wander*

Syrie

Garbage Paladin

14,840 Points
  • Unfortunate Abductee 175
  • Married 100
  • Perfect Attendance 400

Edelsteine

PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:50 pm


Huzzah for some crits. Fleshed out the topside a bit in accordance~
PostPosted: Tue Oct 18, 2011 10:49 am


Added 'stroud stuff' section for laughs. I knew about the place in England and the DA II grey warden, but I never realized there were so many characters with the name Stroud.

Anyone else know any stroud stuff?

Edelsteine


Indubitably

1,600 Points
  • Gender Swap 100
  • Risky Lifestyle 100
  • Hygienic 200
PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 11:26 am


My main issue with this quest is that Flow isn't a strong enough virtue to balance her flaws. It doesn't describe how this effects her behavior around others, only that she desires to have a circle to be as one with. Considering her other flaws, it seems difficult for her to reach out in a 'friendly' manner, unless her companions meet a certain criteria, which makes it hard to read as a virtue. Perhaps you should instead outline how her eastern meditation has made her confident/at peace with her own nature?

Being self-assured of your place in the world is a virtue, which Stroud clearly is, but that's not fully represented in her profile. Also explaining how this helps her interact positively with other characters would help.

I like where Stroud is going, and beyond some profile tightening up, she seems ready.

Feel free to QUOTE ME when you've completed all your changes, and I'll add you to my list to go through again!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 4:40 am


Indubitably
My main issue with this quest is that Flow isn't a strong enough virtue to balance her flaws.

Feel free to QUOTE ME when you've completed all your changes, and I'll add you to my list to go through again!



Thanks for the crit~ emotion_kirakira

Expanded Flow to include some more of the sociological/psychological ramifications, such as basic daily demeanor and motivations to interact with others. Let me know if there's anything still vague or obtuse about the language.

Edelsteine


Indubitably

1,600 Points
  • Gender Swap 100
  • Risky Lifestyle 100
  • Hygienic 200
PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:16 pm


You'll need a confirmation stamp from Mouse, but it looks good.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 8:58 am


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cibarium

Noob

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