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 Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 5:54 pm
Of all the things Paris would now be undertaking in an effort to be more responsible after dropping out of school to “do the right thing” by taking care of his father, working was on top of the list of Things He Would Rather Not Do. Unfortunately, he didn’t trust his father to manage the long weekday hours, or even a shorter weekend shift, while he was recovering from his recent stint in the hospital, and so Paris took it upon himself to sit amongst all sorts of paints and ink and fancy markers, mat board and canvases and brushes of all sizes, dealing with waspish middle aged women and their various crafts, and obnoxiously pompous art students returning to school and restocking their many supplies.
Considering he and his father rarely got along, Paris thought himself a decent son for being marginally pleasant to his father’s customers.
His first day on the job was going surprisingly well so far. The shop had been blessedly empty and slow. Paris took the opportunity to relax and settle himself in, lounging behind the checkout counter in a dark blue t-shirt knotted at his waist and the rattiest pair of cut off shorts he owned, his booted feet propped up on the counter itself. He’d changed the radio from Classic Rock to 80s, preferring MJ and Madonna to his father’s AC/DC and Kiss.
There was nothing much for him to do but fiddle around on the computer, but after two hours of solitaire he thought his brain might start melting out of his eyes, and so he sat flipping through magazines, aimlessly singing along to Bryan Adams as he read up on the latest in the glamorous lives of celebrities, wishing, just for a moment, that his worries could be replaced with their petty concerns.
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Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 10:37 pm
It was the weekend - the only time Billy was ever in Destiny City now a days. Avoiding all that he'd been avoiding didn't seem to make him feel any better, but he had a system going pertaining to.... certain business regarding energy. And he was furthering his education as well. Not for any real purpose, however. He was taking general ed classes. he couldn't really stand to entertain thoughts of the future. It was....empty.
He hadn't really been inspired to do much art either. However, he'd hoped the art would help him more than the alcohol. He stepped in the to store, looking every bit haunted.
The proud Billy who normally was head held high, eyes sharp and narrowed, posture perfect, and wanting to be seen like a proud peacock, was like a small ghost of himself, doing his best not to be seen. Or, perhaps just not caring. He even has a little sandy scruff on his chin. Instead of his normal button-up shirts, he had a simple t-shirt with some grunge design or another on it, and casual jeans.
He didn't seem to pay any mind to the person at the register as he entered, instead going straight for what he wanted. He didn't have it in him to paint, but he couldn't stand to just sit and take notes during class. In fact, he didn't even bother, since it looked like all his teachers were just going to email their students the powerpoints anyway.... A sketchbook would keep him occupied.
That and a few pencils, a sharpener, and an eraser made everything. He placed his selection on the counter and reached in his back pocket for his wallet, all the while not bothering to look up at the cashier.
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Posted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 11:26 pm
Paris didn't bother to look up when the little bell above the door jingled. If anyone needed anything, all they had to do was ask. It wasn't a large store anyway -- easy enough for one person to run on most days, and as a majority of his father's customers were students, they tended to know where to look already. Apparently, his old man gave good discounts. Paris wouldn't have known his father could be so generous. He was usually such an a** at home.
He dog-eared a page in his magazine when the solitary figure approached the counter, at which point Paris hoisted his feet off to place them back on the ground. He was in the process of standing to assist in checkout when he finally looked up, a forced smile halfway on his face and an obligatory greeting of "did you find everything okay?" about to work its way out of his mouth when he realized just who was standing there.
He jumped up in surprise and nearly stumbled back. His magazine slipped off the counter in surprise, and he ended up knocking his elbow into a container of sharpies, which fell and scattered all along the floor.
"Sweet Jesus ********!" he half squeaked, half shouted in alarm. He spared a quick glance around the store to make sure there really wasn't anyone else present before continuing. "What the hell are you doing here? Please, for the love of everything that's holy, tell me you don't come here often. I can't believe my dad would let you in here. Actually, I can believe it. You're both assholes. You'd probably get along wonderfully. Why'd you have to pick today--"
He cut himself off mid-freak out. As he came to his senses, and as the shock of seeing Billy of all people wandering into his father's shop began to wear off a little, he started to notice that his fling-c**-nemesis did not currently appear to be his usual arrogant self.
"What the hell happened to you?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 12:17 am
At Paris' initial exclamation, those pink eyes looked up and confirmed what his ears told him. Sigh. While it did surprise him to see Paris working at the register (What, street corners too good for him?) he didn't really have it in him to give any reaction. He was sorely lacking spirit these days.
"It's long, personal, and involved. Kinda like my d**k."
Okay, maybe he could muster up one ounce of spirit.
"I thought you'd already know..."
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 10:54 am
First, Paris showed him an unimpressed look as if to say "is that the best you can do?" before it changed to one of disgust and he decided that he deserved better than to hear someone talk to him like that.
Then, he couldn't stop himself from countering. You know, for old time's sake and all.
"Your d**k must not be getting any action of the personal and involved variety if you're walking in here looking like that," he said, glancing from Billy to the items he'd brought to the counter, and then back at Billy. He didn't bother to ring him up yet. He had no idea why. Under normal circumstances he would have tried to rush Billy out of the store as quickly as possible.
Perhaps he was really just that bored.
Then he remembered what had happened the last time he'd been bored in Billy's presence and couldn't believe he'd been that desperate.
"You look dead," Paris observed, chancing another glance over. Normally he'd have avoided looking at him as much as possible, but these weren't exactly normal circumstances. "It's not a good look for you. At all. Not that I particularly care how you look. I saw better before, and I've seen better since."
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:08 am
Dead. His further lack of reaction might as well have proven that. Billy wanted out of here. He didn't want to have to explain his humiliation, heartache, and failure. He didn't want to remember, even though the memory was always there.
"I might as well be," He shifted and let out a long, quiet sigh, looking off to the side.
A long pause.
"You really should talk to Ladon."
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:38 am
Paris's expression changed from curious disgust to suspicion in a matter of seconds.
"Really?" he wondered, not bothering to hide his surprise. His brows arched, moderately intrigued. "That's surprising, coming from you. I was always under the impression that you wished I wouldn't talk to him at all. You know, since I never bothered to lie to him about you."
He knew there'd been a time or two when he'd probably been a bit harsher than necessary, but... well, it'd been hard to think through his anger at the time. At least he felt guilty for it now.
"So it's Ladon then, is it?" he tried, casually leaning against the counter. For a moment he wondered if something was wrong, and then thought that nothing that left Billy looking so miserable could possibly be wrong. Paris assumed he'd just gotten his ego bruised or his pride hurt, which served him right. "Finally saw you for the a*****e you are? Why the long face, then? I'm shocked you haven't prowled after someone else yet. First you use me, then you use Ladon. Who's next?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 2:12 pm
"I pegged you as a bad friend for not talking to him, simply because of me," Billy retorted, a momentary sharpness to his eyes before closing for a long moment.
His relationship with Ladon might have started as him using the boy, but that had swiftly changed. Faster than Billy had thought possible. But then again, finding out your boyfriend was a member of the same 'corrupt' faction as you are kind of puts things in a whole new perspective.
"I never expected to love him. Not like I do," Billy's eyes stared at the counter as he, like-wise, leaned on it - one arm propped and one elbow as he rested his forehead in his palm.
"I suppose it would warm your heart to know he did kick me to the curb." Beat the s**t out of him too, but Paris didn't need to know that. "It was a little over a month ago. I thought things would get better for me if I moved to the next town over, but certain business has me returning every weekend. It just seems to keep reopening the wounds. I make it a point to stay away from him. It...hurts enough as is...."
Why was he admitting that it hurt? That he was even capable of being so deeply wounded!? It...it was oddly therapeutic. More therapeutic than demeaning, like he thought it would be...
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 2:58 pm
He wanted to correct Billy and insist that he wasn't a bad friend and that he did talk to him and if he didn't then it wasn't because of something so petty as despising his boyfriend, but he bit his tongue. Billy might be in the mood to share -- and that disturbed him almost as much as seeing him in his father's store in the first place -- but Paris wasn't in the mood to return the favor. It wasn't any of Billy's business why he'd suddenly felt the need to distance himself from people.
Although, when he thought about his reasons now and realized parts of his life had more or less settled into place since then and therefore the distance was no longer necessary, any argument he could have made would have sounded pretty weak.
He made a face hearing Billy of all people speak the word "love." He was used to hearing things like that from Ladon, but he'd never expected to hear it from Billy's mouth and have it sound so... not bullshit-y.
"What do you know about love? Clearly there was no love if you're not together anymore. Seemed more like dependency to me, at least on his side of things. Don't know about you. You never struck be as the sort to have feelings."
Paris looked him over again. Whether he believed him or not, it was obvious that Billy wasn't his normal self.
"I should be celebrating. I never trusted you, I haven't forgiven you for claiming that I was some big mistake when we both know that wasn't the case at the time, and I never thought you were good enough for him. I still don't. There isn't a doubt in my mind that whatever happened was somehow your fault. But..."
He paused to stare at him, as if by doing so he could figure everything out.
It didn't work.
"You definitely look like you're as devastated as you say you are. It's... sort of funny, really." Yet he couldn't laugh, for some reason. Probably because he looked so pathetic. "Tell me the truth. I think I deserve that much. Why did you go out with him? From the beginning, and then later."
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 4:29 pm
Billy doubted that if Paris knew just how much he had gone through to rescue Ladon, Wolframite, from the BMC that he would have any doubts about anything he felt for Ladon and whether he was good enough for him. However, that wasn't exactly the type of information he could give.
Billy looked at him for a moment, pondering just how to answer his question. Should he even bother giving the boy an answer? He didn't have it in him right now to be obstinate.
"It started with me wanting someone there whenever I wanted them. I never planned on harboring emotion. A little challenge getting there was merely a perk," he shrugged. "As I got to know him I developed a fondness, despite myself, for all those little quirks - how easy he is to fluster, make blush, horrify, and impress," Billy couldn't help but smile a little, "It was empowering. As we got to know one another the barrier between my goal in the beginning and beginning to love was breached - I started to respect him. Respect him for the side of him that no one else gets to see, the great depths of his being..." That was...a safe way to put it.
"Things happened that for his sake, I am not at liberty to discuss. Things that made me realize, fully, what I had come to develop for him emotionally. It was that eye-opening moment that shatters all barriers," There was a look of awe in those bright pink eyes, then... "But perhaps... Perhaps things wouldn't have plummeted so far if I had maintained a little of that old armor. Ladon he...he was having a hard time due to certain things. One moment he'd want me there, and the next? Violently opposed. I got afraid. Afraid of rejection. I'd do what I could to help him and keep him happy cooking, grocery shopping, bringing home random treats. Because I loved him and wanted to stay in his good graces. But fear of losing someone is a horrible thing. It makes one think too much. It eats them from the inside out. I started comparing the me then to the me I was before. I was disgusted at myself for falling so far. At becoming a groveling servant." He spoke the words like venom.
"I wanted to talk to him. To work things out. Explain how I felt, and why but he...he just wasn't hearing it. Things got said that shouldn't have. You know how things can be when you fight. You say things you don't mean.... He kicked me out. I left. The rest...is history..."
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 5:27 pm
Paris made faces all throughout Billy's explanation, ranging from anger (how dare he use Ladon like that?) to moderate understanding (Ladon did have those cute quirks of his) to disbelief (how could either of them claim to know they were in love?) to worry (what was it that Billy wouldn't talk about?) and finally to righteous indignation.
"Please tell me you didn't b***h and moan about having to do a few chores," he said, lifting his arms and folding them over his chest. "Seriously, cooking and shopping are hardly demeaning tasks. I do them all the time, although I guess that doesn't mean much to you since you seem to think I'm trash."
He wasn't. He refused to think he was. Not anymore.
"Personally, I think a little forced domestication would serve you well. Make you more tolerable. Obviously something has, or I'd have thrown you out of here already."
Paris rolled his eyes, and finally began to take up the items Billy intended to purchase, slowly scanning them one by one as he continued to talk. "Look, I'm still pissed off at you, especially since I was right all along and you probably were just using Ladon that time when I walked in on the two of you and I got thrown out for it, but obviously something's happened to you at some point and you've... grown soft... or whatever..."
He made another face as he said it. He wasn't really sure how he felt about this new Billy yet. "You probably don't care what I think, and maybe there's more to it and I don't know what I'm talking about, but I'm going to say it anyway. I think the both of you were going too fast. You were together for only a few months before the 'love' word started getting thrown around. Maybe you weren't professing undying devotion to one another, I don't know, but I can tell you that Ladon was all googly-eyed and it was painful to watch, because I knew something was going to happen and you were going to break his heart. I don't think love happens that fast, and if it does, it ends just as quickly."
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 5:39 pm
"It wasn't chores, it was fear." Strange, Billy thought, that he'd be using an admission of fear to defend himself.
Billy couldn't help but think that if Paris knew the two great catalysts that had helped things along, he wouldn't have that opinion. However, he could never know. And he never would. He'd never know Ladon as well as he might have thought he did. Still...
"Then answer me this," Billy leveled an intense stare at Paris, "Would you be willing to walk straight through the doors of hell to rescue someone you 'think' you love?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 6:16 pm
Paris stared back just as intently. "Are we talking about romantic love or love in general? Not that it would matter. I would do it for someone regardless of whether I loved them or not," he said with certainty. "I would do it for Ladon if I knew he was in trouble. I'm dating someone, and I'd do it for him, too, even though I'm not in love with him. The only reason I'm here talking to you right now is because my old man's practically dying and I'm doing what I can to give him a little more time. I'd go through hell for him, even though he's been an a** to me my whole life. I'd even do it for you, if you really meant so much to Ladon."
He shot Billy a dark, accusing look as he finished ringing him up, placing his items in a bag as he did so. "I'm not as selfish as you seem to think I am, Billy. You're not the only one who's changed. That's your total," he added, motioning to the green numbers alight on the till. "I added the student discount and then another discount Dad usually gives to friends of the family. Be grateful."
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:34 pm
"That's the politically correct answer. However, I'll take it," he said, swiping his debit card and punching in the number. "There are few i would do such for. But I suppose you could guess such, seeing how selfish I am and all. oF course I wouldn't. Not for you. Not for my parents. Not even for myself."
With that, he took the bag with his just purchased items.
"Thanks."
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Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 2:07 pm
"a**," Paris muttered in response, folding his arms back across his chest. He didn't know what he hated most about Billy, the fact that he was a complete douche or the fact that Billy made him feel like a worthless piece of s**t. Probably the latter, at least at the moment, and he hated himself for allowing it.
"You made a fool of me before. I'm never going to get an apology, am I?" he wondered. "Of course, even if you said it, I doubted you'd mean it, so it probably doesn't even matter. It's not worth fighting for."
He glared at him again. Paris couldn't say he was disappointed to see him preparing to leave, though he also couldn't say he'd be against seeing him come in again if he needed anything. As far as he was concerned, Billy deserved a bit of misery in his life, and it was almost encouraging to see him suffer. At least it wasn't always good people who had to deal with rough s**t. Sometimes, jerks and assholes got what was coming to them.
"Maybe I'll tell Ladon I saw you. Maybe I'll tell him you look so sad and depressed without him. But I'm not going to tell him to take you back. That's all on him, and I'm not against telling him I was right about you, either. I've tolerated you, I even gave you his new number when he moved, but you've got a hell of a lot more work to do to prove to me that you deserve him if you ever plan on trying to win him back. Today doesn't change anything," he warned him, "except that I might hate you a little less, because it seems wrong to hate someone so much when they look as depressed as you do."
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