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A Pokejinka B/C 

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Tallow || Mawile || APP

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Shiningamisgirl

Ruthless Consumer

PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 8:36 am


User Image

◎Character Name: Tallow
◎Type: Pokemon
◎Species:Mawile
◎Gender: Male
◎Height: 5'8
◎Age: 26
◎Hair Color: Black
◎Eye Color: Lavender
◎Skin Color: Tan or Darker
◎Other: Sexzay!? -shrugs-
Tallow's appearance is up to the artist. I do know that I'd like to see certain things maybe incorporated into his look. Black n Yellow clothing colors?

Sharp teeth (Belt,necklace, hair ribbon, markings, clothing pattern, tattoo?), Pockets or Fanny pack or Satchel, Black neck bandanna! Super bell bottoms. FINGERLESS GLOVES! -fft gloves-

Any kind of body Jewlery, art, etc is acceptable. Mawile may be the deceiver pokemon, but he's still a dude, just not the most macho manry dude.

◎Nature: Hasty
◎Ability: Intimidate
◎Skill Set: Sucker Punch, Payback, Facade, Swagger
◎Song: Hustlin


PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 8:37 am


❂History❂



Tallow spent a majority of his youth in a cave and not just any cave, but 'The Cave' the only passage between one city and the next. The Cave was a tough place to grow up; with so much competition from all the other dark dwelling creatures and so little space to inhabit. Maybe to the humans who wandered through the cave and its tunnel system seemed vast and near endless, but to the inhabitants who spent their lives there; it was not nearly enough.

It was crowded really, and everything was tooth and nail; scraping for food and other resources. Even the humans who traveled through the caves became a resource. The food they dropped and other things they left behind when they made camps or were scared running from the caves were very valuable to the residing pokemon. Dealing with the humans was risky though; even when the reward was great enough to be worth it. There was always the chance of running into the darkness after one and never returning. The humans carried evil pokemon with them that had turned on their kind, and strange devices with which they captured others and took them away; never to be seen again.

Although few except the family's ever complained about the disappearances; the less mouths fight with for food the better. Many other pokemon began to come up with clever little ways to stop short the humans and steal their things. Rock-slides, pitfalls, sudden dead ends, and tunnels that seemed to lead in circles. Real-estate was prime, and clever as Tallow was he was still smaller and weaker then many of the others and often forced to work his tricks at the end of the tunnel. Where most of the travelers who did make it through were already picked clean anyway. Whether the Mawile won out or not it seemed he only ever wound up with scraps...

Until one day a short fat man came his way. The man older then most he'd seen before; dressed like a hiker yet laden with strange looking packs. The fact that the man had made it through at all told Tallow that he was experienced, and the fact that he'd made it through without a scratch told Tallow that he was also 'dangerous'; maybe even a trainer!

As the man passed he caught sight of the little Mawile hiding away in the ceiling, and again following him all the way to the end of the cave. The creature was obviously curious, and yet when the man left the tunnel and moved out into the open air and sunlight the Mawile would not follow. He found it strange being tailed by a pokemon who'd not yet attacked him as the ones in this cave were notorious for. The incident made even stranger by the fact that the mans repellent had run out some time ago. Which meant this one was special, or maybe just a coward, but the man wasn't choosey when it came to picking partners for his sales.

Tallow was wary at first; having known humans to carry such wonderful treats and fun items to play with, but never having known them to be 'tasty' or 'fun' themselves. He watched from back in the safe darkness of his cave; jaw clenched and feeling tense as the man invaded his territory once more; only this time to set up some..thing? The man gingerly sat down on the rocky surface at the exit of the cave and began to unpack his favorite 'shell game'; the traveling con artist and gambling enthusiast occasionally peering back into the cave to see if the Pokemon was watching. Unsure, but feeling lucky enough he began to play the game with himself, and when that brought no results he moved onto cards, and then dice..

Unbeknownst to the man the Mawile was moving closer and closer with each game. Tallow's curiosity winning out when he saw so many fantastic things in the mans pack! Things that shone and flashed and moved; games, toys and cards that the Mawile had never seen before, but knew he wanted to have. Even if it meant leaving the cave. After all he couldn't just allow such a great opportunity to walk out on him! When the man next looked up Tallow was standing there before him with an impish grin and excited gaze. The man returned the smile and a fast friendship was born. They were not simply a trainer and his pokemon, but partners, equals. The man never saw fit to lock Mawile up in one of those silly balls as long as Mawile followed along at his side.

Tallow came across a great many wonders and vast new knowledge when the man brought him into the city; teaching him all he knew about the way's of being a con-artist. Some days they lived like kings, and others they barely lived at all. The days they spent together went on like a roller-coaster, rising, falling, and twisting without ever loosing the excitement they held. Tallow found that he enjoyed the change, and more importantly enjoyed being top dog when the opportunity arose. It was always better to be the one doing the using than to be the one being used; that was what his partner taught him, and as long as they worked together there was no way to loose!

Despite all of Tallow's new gained savvy, and confidence; the little Mawile knew very well that if he were ever alone in this kingdom of human's he'd be crushed by it, at least until he found his next partner..his next mark. One day Tallow's fears came to light and the game he'd been playing for so long beside the man ended. Coming back from a successful day on his favorite strip Tallow caught sight of his partner whispering with a man dressed in black..the exchange of money..a smile Tallow recognized as 'cruel'.

The next thing Tallow knew he was surrounded; chains and a cage were presented and subsequently destroyed by his powerful jaws. A net and an obscenely strong Machoke would prove to be his undoing. Tangled and hurt Tallow cried out to his partner; pleaded with tear filled eyes as he was being loaded into the back of the van. He did not understand what he'd done wrong or why his partner had turned on him; Tallow only knew that he did not want to join those other shadowed faces in the van. The other small huddled figures locked in cages waiting to be sent somewhere..

The man approached the van as the doors were closing, sighing and pocketing his money as they spoke for the last time. "You were never valuable before, not like this, and now that you are I'm afraid our journey together has ended. Don't you worry though little friend of mine. I'm sure someone else out there will find you just as valuable as I did, you'll have lots and lots of new 'friends' in no time..."

Mawile spent the rest of the seemingly endless ride sobbing in his captivity; hot angry tears streaming down his face even as the swaying motion of the vehicle lulled him to sleep. His dreams were dark and hateful; first full of self-pitying images and resentment. How stupid had he been to ever trust anyone; to allow himself to grow weak, complacent, and then the greatest slap to his pride. He'd let himself be used when it was HE who was supposed to be the user!
His dreams shifted again into dark red and pink swirls; the idea of revenge and freedom twisting together with the greater vision of power and wealth. He would be better than the humans, stronger; no longer just a 'partner' or something that could be sold away at greatest convenience, but something more!

The truck lurched to a stop and Tallow's dreams with it. Yet even as the pokemon had slept his maw had worked away at the pitiful ropes; gnawing them to shreds around him. When the doors swung open Tallow made his escape; letting loose a feral scream as he leaped past the astonished men and ran.

"The hell was that! A person? No couldn't have been?!"

The words were background noise as Tallow threw himself into darkness he'd once called home, and slowly made his way back to the city. He didn't understand this new gift that had been given to him, but he knew just how he was going to use it. This beautiful new body would help him make his dreams a reality.

Shiningamisgirl

Ruthless Consumer


Shiningamisgirl

Ruthless Consumer

PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 8:40 am


❂Personality❂


◎Neutral: Intuition -
Tallow doesn't have time to sit, ponder and think things through. He has seconds to make or break a deal; mere moments to hook his prey and reel them in. He also has to know when to let em go, and when dealing with so many different people on a daily basis there's no possible way he can 'figure them all out' logically. So Tallow relies on gut instinct, common sense, and his general intuition to help him make it through his daily activities. His intuition isn't always right, but it isn't always wrong either, and he trusts it better then anything else.

◎Neutral: Curious -
Tallow loves experiencing new situations and going to new places. Especially since he turned human and was given a whole new world of things to explore that he'd never had access to as a pokemon. Things like food, clubs, cars. No more crappy pellets or cast off scraps for him and no more waiting outside for his owner to return. Tallow is only glad that he was able to avoid the whole 'pokeball' and trainer show; that's one situation even he isn't curious about experiencing.

◎Positive: Live Wire -
Energetic, keen, and alert, Tallow is absolutely buzzing most of the time; exuding energy and confidence. He knows how to walk tall, hold his head up high, and give the world the finger if it ever gets in his way. This also means that no matter how tired he gets he will never let it show, and in fact enjoys running himself to the point of exhaustion. In Tallow's mind 'tired = job well done'. The shadows can be three miles deep around his eyes and he'll still go on as though hes just downed a truck of espresso.

◎Neutral: - Competitive
Tallow has a strong desire to succeed; with a bold attitude and the willingness to compete with others when necessary. He wants to be on top in life, and since he knows not everyone can be 'number one' he plans on fighting for it. Tallow doesn't usually mind a little friendly competition from others, but he would still prefer to crush it before it becomes threatening to him.

◎Negative: User -
Tallow is a user and a mooch; its a habit he's had ever since his days in a cave and it's one that's never going to change. Having retained much of his deceptive looks and nature from before he received Musharnas gift. Tallow is very comfortable using other peoples naivety, gullibility, and generally trusting nature against them. Doing this has always served his needs well. Truly Tallow is more than happy to turn other peoples misfortune into his stepping stones towards greatness. It doesn't leave room for a lot of 'true friends' in Tallow's life, but he doesn't trust anyone enough to ever let them get that close. He learned his lesson the first time; a mistake he doesn't plan to repeat.

◎Negative: Impulsive Cheat -
If Tallow can't get what he wants the right way or through honest swindling; then he'll get what he wants the wrong way, and let those who try to stop him be damned. Tallow will beg, borrow, and steal whatever he needs to survive, and when his needs to survive are met he'll take it a step further until he has what he wants. Tallow can be a bit impulsive sometimes, and is terrible at saving up for what he wants. Say he just spent all his hard won cash on his allotted meals for the day, but spies something 'extra' he wants. He'll order it just the same and skip out on the check, because he cant stand to wait until tomorrow or until he has enough money to have it.



❂Strengths & Weaknesses❂


◎Strength:

Multitasking - Tallow is wonderful at multitasking. It's a necessity for him in his line of work; to be able to handle many things at once. Tallow tries to never spend too much time on one task; to finish everything as quickly and efficiently as possible, because for Tallow time is money. The more things he gets done in a day the more money he makes. It also leaves room for Tallow to have some well deserved free time.

Schmoozing - Sweet talk, flattering, seemingly nice gestures and backhanded compliments. These are things that Tallow excels at, and he feels that the right words said with the right tone can pave the way to anywhere you wanna go. Of course money helps too, but to get money you gotta kiss up to someone; even if it's just a tiny amount of kissing up.

Stamina -
Tallow find's that he has more energy as a Gijinka than he ever did as a pokemon, and gets around faster too! Though that may be the added height. Tallow is still a shorty, but he finds there's a big difference between how his body works now and how it did before. Before he never needed nearly as much food as he does now, and was able to get by just fine with his scrounging and whatever hunting provided him. Now he absolutely needs to eat as often as he can or risk running himself into ruin.

◎Weakness:

Hasty - The world moves quick-quick-quick, and Tallow likes to move with it. He has no time to settle down or take things slow. His time is money, and he cannot stand to wait for others. Tallow also is a horrible listener, often cutting people off mid sentence and finishing it for them. He wants to get to the point and hates long drawn out stories. He wants to know the problem or the solution, and not take time being 'taught' anything. Especially since he feels he can figure everything out all by himself; he doesn't need anyone else.

Jaded - Tallow's perceptions on some things are set in stone and unlikely to be changed unless you can give him a damn good example of why they should. Even then it is less than likely that his views will really change. Though Tallow will gladly 'pretend' to change them if it will placate the person trying and get them off his back.

Weak Jaw - With his transformation Tallow lost the ability to 'gnaw' through steel beams like he used to. While Tallow can still take on arbitrary materials with ease he can no longer wreck harder substances.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 9:49 am


I am DONE! -passes out- I blame this on Foster the Peoples new album. Soo good..such a creativity spark -fizzles-

Again any and all crit is greatly appreciated and LUVED.

Shiningamisgirl

Ruthless Consumer


Epine de Rose

PostPosted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 3:48 pm


Shiningamisgirl


I am completely exhausted after my date so I'm going to touch on the immediate issues that I can spot on a first read through. As soon as I've had time to sleep and you've had time to adjust bits and pieces, I'll reread what you have!

BASIC ERRORS
as clever as clever as Tallow was...
Duplication

anyways = anyway
Don't plural something that shouldn't be subjected to it.

The creature obviously curious, and yet when the man left the tunnel and moved out into the open air and sunlight the Mawile would not follow.
Bad grammar, "The creature was obviously curious..."

choosy
"Choosey"

Unbeknown
"Unbeknownst" - Tense.

"You we're never valuable before..."
Were

Energetic, Keenly, and alert
Keen

Especially sine he turned human...
Since

PERSONALITY:
"Live Wire" - Neutral point, not positive. If he's running himself to the brink of exhaustion then he's also leaving himself vulnerable. However, this would be something I would classify as "Neutral-Positive" as it's predominantly positive the way you've explained it.

"Curious" - can you explain how this isn't a neutral point for me? If he's intrigued by anything one would assume he'll pick up anything, which could potentially lead him to dangerous situations.

"User" - How can he abuse other people and their naivity if he was incredibly naive himself? I just need this cleared up before proceeding, are we discussing his shift in personality following his betrayal or during? With this in mind, you need to be careful that his curiosity about all things doesn't contradict with this point as he's naive himself in certain respects.

STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES
Be careful on the "Multi-tasking" part, the way it reads without a second glance might indicate he doesn't put much effort into what he's doing if he doesn't spend much time on it. This isn't considered a strength when regarded in this light as it's likely to come off as problematic to an outside source! Would encourage you to clarify this point or reword it to fit more appropriately.

Also - physical strengths/weaknesses - what are his limitations in a physical capacity?
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 5:29 pm


-rolls up in the fixit mobile- Man my English teacher would eat my soul for this, blah...

WOOO EPINE ON A DATE! Sounds soo fun, I hope it went well for you!

Okay reworked the Strength/Weakness, added some physical traits to that.

Reworded the other things..Did not wish him to come out as Naive at all, but I did want to keep him at least a little curious. Reworked that and made it a 2nd Neutral point.

Fixed the other stuffus.

Shiningamisgirl

Ruthless Consumer


Epine de Rose

PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 2:31 am


Shiningamisgirl
Lol indeed, and it went rather well.

He's reading a lot better now but you still have grammatical errors floating about, some of which I'd already pointed out! I know I might be coming across as incredibly pedantic sometimes but you do need to be careful. Certain words are possessive and lack the apostrophes to indicate this, while other sentences are missing words entirely (which I pointed out previously).

You'll need to reread your history as well as a little bit of your Strengths/Weaknesses e.g. Giginka = Gijinka
PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 2:28 pm


Whoa..and yess..and THANK YOU EPINE YOU WONDERFUL BEING YOU! -dashes in- Alright I'm gonna hunt down the typos and try to fix them up..I already see some of what your talking about..

I even added a few words where they werent needed..yesh..

Ahhh Gijinka with a J not a..fft lulz mai bad! Btw, is it better to call them Gijinkas or Humans? Technically they're like some kinda hybrid thing, but would other humans call them Gijinkas..or...would they even consider themselves human? I cant imagine a Pokemon calling itself a Gijinka until it heard the word from a human, because it would originally think itself turned human maybe.. -shrugs-

Shiningamisgirl

Ruthless Consumer


Shiningamisgirl

Ruthless Consumer

PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 3:49 pm


Okay! Went back through the list of words and sentences you mentioned found a few more of my own. It's weird how unbeknownst comes out as a wrong word in my spell checker -pokes the squiggly red underline- Also it showed choosy as the proper word instead of choosey.. Though the dictionary says it can be spelled either way. Changed em anyways! -glees-

I think everything might be alright now, and feel free to let me know if you see any other inconsistencies. I don't mind you being pedantic, I need to improve on my grammar anyway!
PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:50 am


He sounds like a wonderful guy to rp with~<3

And that is my crit. Q u Q;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Hhymn

Mythical Demigod

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Epine de Rose

PostPosted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:26 pm


Shiningamisgirl
I generally called them "gijinka" but people use their own ways of addressing them as well. Whether it be "hybrid", "poke-human" or any other descriptor, it's entirely up to yourself.

As for the "choosey", perhaps it's an issue of US English vs UK English, in the UK it has an 'e'! *Grins*
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2011 4:09 pm


Oh cool! Extra info is always good to know -luvs shop lore already, fft..so cool- Thank you so much Epine! And thank you too Katsu for the positive fluffehness. LOVE IT ALSO!

Syrs, you'd think since Americans got their English from primarily the UK we'd have all our words spelled similarly.

Or..are is US English more of a Spanglish, Latin, Greek thing now..-shrugs- Spanglish btw, so awesome my spell check recognizes 'that' as a word, hurr!

Shiningamisgirl

Ruthless Consumer


Vitious
Captain

Proxy Hunter

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:44 pm


Stamping for approval and moving to the Approved quest forum.
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