Takatifu'moja:Shoshan had been an almost constant companion to Tifu ever since the bird had danced her way into the trio's lives, but today Tifu was alone. Suli was probably off hunting somewhere, Shan was hunkered in a nearby tree, still afraid and sad for her friend, and she'd momentarily lost track of Maji. Not that it matter, at that very moment the only think Tifu really wanted was to be left alone as she shivered.
It wasn't cold out. No, the weather wasn't what caused the lioness' distress. She had forgotten herself and while taking some time to relax and play around with her bird, she'd reached out with a paw and went to ruffle Shan's feathers.
Only when her paw touched the bird, she'd been sucked into a vision. Of Shan flying with her brother as a young bird, dancing in the air around one another. An eagle attacked, but they got home unscathed, sharing a relieved laugh with one another. It was a happy memory, one Tifu wasn't entirely used to Seeing, but it was a vision nonetheless. A reminder of why she should touch other creatures.
She had pulled back as if Shan had snapped at her. The bird had been confused, but obeyed when Tifu yelled at her to leave her alone.
She sat alone, shoulders hunched, her tail tucked close as she tried to forget everything that she had ever Seen. Sadness, pain, pleasure, fear, relief. Some good, some bad, but all unwanted. Most of what she Saw was in the past or the present. What if she someday she Saw the future? She didn't want to, ever, but she had no control over this. Even the flower tucked over her ear seemed to wilt with her worries.
She shouldn't worry, she should just be happy, or at least pretend to be, like normal. If she didn't, she was afraid it would upset Maji or Suli. Well... probably not Suli, what did he care if she was upset? But Maji would certainly be conserned and she didn't want to upset the older male, not when he was so kind.
Maji:Maji had slipped off to spend some time down by the river bed. It was a thinner river that cut its way through the savanah, too thin and far too shallow to provide any kind of refuge for alligators but just deep and wide enough to provide a decent place for fish to live and breed. While not a terrible hunter, he was more comfortable wading through water, trapping fish, and eating the sweet, delicate meat.
He'd had his fill and spent a few more hours sunning himself in contentment. It was never filling, but it was enough to keep him from hunger. Everything in moderation.
As the day wore on, Maji gathered himself up, dusted out his mane and silvery coat, and loped back to where he'd left the youngsters to rest. Every few days they would take a few suns to rest their weary paws, ever looking for a new place to call theirs.
Silent as a shadow, he padded up behind Tifu as she sat alone, her posture downtrodden and defeated, her ears hanging low, and her shoulders hulked up.
"Do I need to remove some teeth from a certain whirlwind's mouth?"
Takatifu'moja:
Tifu jumped at the sound of another's voice, whipping around and scooting away just a bit. When she saw it was Maji, she lost her surprised look but still kept her distance. She looked away as she sorted out his question in her mind.
"Suli? No, he didn't do anything. Why?" The question was stupid, she knew it. Maji was looking out for her and he was much to perceptive. He'd caught her at a low-point and his first assumption was that it was somehow Suli's doing. Which... in part it kind of was, inadvertantly.
She wasn't really sure who to blame for the state she was in. Certianly not Shan or Suli, it wasn't their faults. Hers, likely, because she couldn't keep herself from doing things that upset her. And fate the most, or whatever force in the world made some creatures just see what was in front of their noses and others to see even more.
Maji:
"Most of the time when you get that look about you, it's because Suli was careless with how he was talking to you." He took a few more steps forward and took a seat in the grass a safe distance away. For the moment, it seemed Tifu wanted her space and he simply wasn't the type to crowd into someone's comfort zone if he was uninvited.
"But if it's not him, then what seems to be the problem?"
Takatifu'moja:
Maji knew she was a seer, but she couldn't recall ever explaining to him how she Saw things. Suli might have, but then she didn't think he was one to "gossip". And Shan hadn't known at all until today.
"It bothers me, how I See things. Sometimes I forget what I can do, and then I'm reminded. And with that reminder comes every single vision. And all the feelings connected with them are like my own," she explained, raising a paw to look at it with a frown. She set it back down with a small shudder.
"You and Suli are the only ones I've ever helped with it. Most other times it just brings pain. And I hate that." She hated reminding a goddess of the cubs she abandoned, the fear she had felt in her friend when the eagle swooped down, the pain in Seeing Maji beaten, the pleasure and thoughtlessness from her father. They weren't pleasant memories to have, and they weren't even hers to begin with. But most of all she hated the idea of her own future. How could she ever have a normal life? She could hunt, but it scared her. Going into a vision just as she pounced a preybeast? She could get a hoof in the wrong place, or gored. What if she wanted a family? She couldn't even imagine being comfortable enough to snuggle with another creature let alone think about working towards having cubs.
Would she even be able to hug, to cuddle, to groom her babies if she had them?
Maji:
It wasn't an easy problem, and so it wasn't given an easy answer. Maji shifted himself down to the ground and settled his paws easily ahead of him. He wasn't yet an elder but he was fading from his prime and more and more he was taking to laying himself down whenever the oppertunity presented itself. What energy he had was reserved for feeding himself and his friends.
"Things are as they are for a reason. We have very little control over that reason. I was given the gift of knowlege of a pride long gone, a pride that I tried to restore only to have their claws digging into my back the moment I came into my adult mane. For you- it's visions. Things you don't wish to see..."
He shrugged a shoulder. "We are all near-sighted by nature. We see a problem and nothing else. It blinds us... but as time passes, we are granted a rare gift- the ability to look back and see what good came of all the obsticles and trials in our lives. I imagine your burden is meant for something larger. You've only to find it."
Takatifu'moja:
Tifu sighed, shaking her head.
"Maji, the only good things that's come of it are you and Suli. And even then, it had driven me away from my father to do so. He took me in when he didn't have to, after he had lost everything that had meant anything to him," she said, running a paw over her mane. Life had been so good for them. It had its ups and downs like any life, nightmares and laughter. But nothing had separated them.
"When I found out he was the rogue my mother had... That it had just been... meaningless to him... Whenever I looked at him I could see it in my head all over again. No daughter should have to know that kind of thing." She'd never really told anyone about that. Not in so many words. All of her friends knew she had left her father, but not exactly why. She wondered if her actions made her a horrible daughter.
"I can't see any long-term purpose besides making me miserable and paranoid."
Maji:
"You are not yet at the end of your journey." He reminded her gently, his eyes serious. "You are still young yet, and while there has been little good so far, you still have a very long way ahead of you. Unless you can claim to see the future as well, you do not know what good your hardships will produce."
He flicked his tail and looked ahead. "If there's one advantage to growing old, it's that you can look back on your life and understand things a little more. You've been a companion to me, so I would not say that I am 'all' that has come out of it. In the short time we've known eachother, you have brought things out of Kisulisuli that I thought had died when we were exiled."
Takatifu'moja:
Tifu sighed as she listened to him. He was right and she knew it, but it still felt so hopeless right then. And he had to make it worse by bringing up Suli. She felt a pang hit her heart at that, wondering just what it was he thought she had coaxed out of the surly male. She wasn't stupid, she understood that she cared, deeply, for Suli, but what could she ever hope for. Even if one forgot about the fact that she could have visions with any physical contact with him, they were just two very different souls.
"Like what? With what he's told me, his past would have been enough to crush other individuals."
Maji:
"Like a smile." He looked over, regarding her seriously. "Like trust in a female again. Like there might be something better out there somewhere... a place for the three of us. Like someone he can confide in when he's frusterated."
He shifted his weight slightly, getting some of the pressure off of his shoulder. "You see... Kisulisuli's mother was my sworn sister. Together, she and I began bringing lions and lost souls together to re-form a broken pride in which I was the sole survivor. The gods blessed me with the knowlege and wisdom of my ancestors. Kisuli's father was my cousin... and when he turned against is, it not only devistated Kisuli, it drove his mother into the wild.... many of his sisters vanished along with her. The pride was torn in two, his family scattered to the four winds. He felt abandoned by his mother, betrayed by his sisters, and he was exiled by a lioness who claimed to be my sister- his distant cousin. When we walked from the lands, his heart became as a stone."
Takatifu'moja:
Tifu's gaze dropped, unable to look at Maji as he explained how his friend was. She knew most of that about Suli, his family broken just like hers was. The only difference was that she had been so young and hopeful. It wasn't until she was near-grown that the realization of what had really happened hit her.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm just an annoyance. I can't help trying to be optimistic, I just do. Because I know if I'm not being positive, I get like this and I really don't like it when I'm like this. I don't want to have to worry or be upset or anything like that. To him... I feel like I'm just a stupid little cub who he just can't seem to convince she's wrong, Even when he cracks that smile of his..." She trailed off there, shrugging. She knew she had it bad for Suli. She missed him when he was gone, she did her best to try and talk to him, she even had to fight the urge to want to move closer to him. But she knew she couldn't, she thought he disliked her attitude and saw her as a burden.
