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 Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:56 am
xxxxxxxxx ♥ KALINA DENISOVA
xxxxxxxxxxxSemi-Custom Quest KALINA DENISOVA ║ MOONLIGHT ROMANCE ║ HEART ║ UMBRELLA SWORD
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 11:54 am
xxxxxxxxx♥ YOUNG GIRL
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxAbout Kalina Denisova xxxName: Kalina Denisova
xxxColor: #881C97, Moonlight Romance
xxxAge: 15
xxxNationality: Russian
xxxHome/Financial Status: Lower Middle Class, in a small 2 bedroom house.
xxxSchool: Quail Continued High School
xxxPersonality:
Dreamer - Kalina can often be caught gazing at the sky, daydreaming about her future and the day her own princess charming would sweep her off her feet. Often, she gets so caught up in fantasy she forgets to pay attention to her reality. She often comes across as a sort of airhead for this.
Optimistic - Despite all the troubles Kali's faced in her life, she has always held an optimistic view of the world. She may be physically abused at home, but her father still provides for her, and her sister is kind and caring! There's nothing to be sad about in this world of romance and trueness.
Fearful - Well, at least partially. While Kalina loves meeting people and making friends, she still finds herself flinching away if someone tries to touch her, and getting nervous around loud people. A friend pulling her hand up for a high five makes her screw her eyes shut and panic a bit. She always tries to laugh it off when her friends show concern about her behavior, assuring them she was just joking!
Forgetful - Her dreaming sets her up for this trait. She can get so caught up in fantasies she'll forget to do important things, like her homework or to stop by the grocery store. To remember, she ties ribbons to her wrist with messages inside. (i,e, 'stop by the store today!' 'math hw pg 67')
Dependent - Kalina thrives on the companionship of others, and when she forms a close attachment to someone she comes to need them. She has been working with counselors to try to fix her co-dependency issues, however.
Devoted - Lastly, Kalina is a devoted girl. She likes to make people smile, and if she's given a duty, she gives it her all to fulfill it. It is in this manner she takes care of her troubled ten-year old sister for the most part, and even has taken the shopping duties upon herself, Conversely, this is the same thing that had her clinging to abusive romantic relationships when she was in middle school, along with how she formed dependency on those girls.
She finds joy in her hobbies, which including reading the most sappiest love stories ever, and cooking, a skill she developed as she was the one mostly feeding her younger sister and father as a girl (though admittedly she didn't get particularly good until she was around eleven and mostly just made sandwiches and macaroni&cheese).
She also has a fondness for sewing, and she enjoys modifying her clothing to include more (cheap) lace and ribbons. She makes dolls for her sister, and on the occasion her father is sober, she'll fix his clothing for him too. She gets most of her clothing from second-hand shops like the Salvation Army, or from her dead mother's closet, re-sewing them to fit her and her sister's much thinner and smaller forms.
Her hobbies are rather domestic, something that has made her take after her mother Irina greatly, as she was a homemaker and housewife.
xxxAppearance: Kalina is a thin weak girl, 5'3, 89 lbs and very pale of skin. Her eyes are a vibrant purple, and her hair is long and brown, and usually worn tied up on each side with ribbons, in a "drill" style. She dresses very girly, outfits usually consisting of a pretty blouse and a flared skirt, coupled with dark thigh-highs and flats. She also wears ribbons on her wrist, usually.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxRefs: PolyvoreHair ref
xxxHistory: Her family life was peaceful and content until her mother died at age 5, when her younger sister was born. Her father, who had been a loving man, sank into a deep depression and slowly turned abusive toward his young daughters, alternating between hitting them and ignoring them completely in his drunken stupors.
A young Kali became protective of her baby sister, and did her best to take care of her when her father was too incapacitated to do it himself, and protect her from him when he got angry. Kalina never allowed Sofiya to be hurt by her father, using her own body to shield her if she had to. As she got older, she taught herself to cook from the TV, and cooked meals for herself and Sofiya, and made sure her father still ate, even if it would result in her getting hurt.
Kali turned to her romantic novels as a form of escapism, dreaming of the day her own loving princess would save her. She began to fantasize about it constantly, and she dreamed of the day she and her sister could live without their father's abuse.
When she turned twelve, she clung to other girls, hoping for affection, and in return only received more abusive relationships, where she was mentally and sexually abused by older girls. She was in three different ones before she managed to pry herself out of the vicious cycle when she enrolled herself in Quail. She was able to get counseling and finally terminate the abusive relationship on her own.
xxxFamily:
Mother (Deceased) - Irina Denisova
A kind but strict woman, Irina was a voluptuous Russian woman with a rich accent, who loved her daughter very much, and worked as a homemaker. She died in childbirth at the age of 30.
Father - Dmitry Denisov
A once loving man, the death of his wife drove him to drink. His alcoholism made him violent and oft negligent toward his young children, who he blamed for Irina's untimely death. Though most of his days are now spent job hopping and locking himself away in his room, he has managed to keep the family out of bankruptcy and starvation. When he is not drunk, he is actually a caring and good father. Unfortunately, he has trouble coping with his own abusive behaviors and the loss of his wife so he still often drinks. He is 42.
Sister -Sofiya Denisova
Kalina's very shy and withdrawn younger sister, Sofiya looks up to Kali as a mother figure. The two share a bedroom, and all of their secrets. The two sisters are very close, and she is the only person Kalina allows to touch her at the moment. Sofiya is 10 years old.
Kalina has conflicted feelings about her father. She loves him, and knows deep down somewhere he's still the same Papa that held her hand and sung her silly Russian songs about mice and old women and clumsy bears, the same Papa even now that loved her Mama like she was the sun and would be so happy he'd start dancing when she walked in. But this "new" Papa is cold and doesn't sing or dance, and he hurts her and gets angry, and he tries to hurt Sofiya, and it's so infrequent he seems to remember he's their Papa and that he should love them too. She feels like this means she shouldn't love him, but she still does.
She has an unusually close relationship with her sister due to the circumstances. She is fiercely protective of her, and has taken on the role of a mother for her. Kalina picks her up from school and gets her ready in the morning, and she washes her hair and sings her to sleep at night. Sofiya was the one to quietly ask Kalina if her girlfriends were hurting her too, prompting Kalina to seek help for her cycle of bad relationships.
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:02 pm
xxxxxxxxx♥ PUELLA MAGI
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxAfter The Contract xxxLanguage: Russian
xxxDesires: For true love, for comforting arms, for passion.
xxxEmblem: Heart <3
xxxWeapon: Umbrella Sword
When she uses the umbrella sword, she pulls out the blade and hooks the 'umbrella' portion to her arm, to use as shielding. She can then attack freely with the sword part.
xxxType of Magic: Heavily emotion based, in accordance to her wish, and mostly used for defensive/support, though it's not without combative uses. Kalina's wish for passion will give her a magical boost when she's near her partner, and a slight control over other people's emotions (sucking away other people's/witches desire to hate a bit, boosting an ally's emotional strength so they could help Kalina and her partner better, etc). I would like maybe if she could also use her power occasionally to super-burst someone's emotions, and send someone (or herself) into a blind rage of passion (to live, to fight, to love, etc) for a short period of time, like a beserker mode.
Working on this~
xxxOutfit: Something like this. Very feminine, with hearts in the outfit. Lace and ribbons, a short skirt, leggings, etc.
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:28 pm
xxxxxxxxx ♥ RESERVED
xxxxxxxxxxxJust in case! <3
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Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 8:23 am
xxxxxxxxx ♥ Open for crits!
xxxxxxxxxxxI'll try to offer crit in return! <3
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Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:41 am
Here's your crit! <3
Personality: I would really take these bullet points and convert them into paragraph form- the format just feels more complete to read in my personal experience, plus it's easier to see how the traits interact. However, starting with bullet points is really good to get your thoughts organized regarding a character! As for Kalina herself, I would ask yourself what makes her stand out as a character and what would make people want to roleplay with her. Are you conveying her clearly? What in her traits and hobbies makes her stand out from the other girls? Right now she seems to be a pretty straightforward nice girl in tragic circumstances, so knowing more little details about her and her life could really help her stand out! Also, as an aside, how did she find out about her sexuality? I ask because when I was a kid I was really into love stories and romance and stuff, and finding out that I wasn't heterosexual later on in life was a thought that really weirded me out since I did read so many fairytales and such, a genre that's pretty much overrun with guy gets the girl prince/princess scenarios. Has she always known about her sexuality, or did she discover it at a certain point in her life?
History: I really enjoy that Kalina is lower middle class, I haven't seen too many quests like that so far. However, from a contest point of view, the history of a mother who died in childbirth and a father being driven to drink is a pretty standard fare tragedy story, considering that Kalina already plays on a lot of standard tragic heroine tropes in her personality. I like that you portray her father as an actually kind and caring man in a bad situation, so what has he done to combat the alcoholism? Is he aware there's a problem? Was this problem present before his wife died? How did he cope with it then if it was? What are his and his wife's relationships with their daughters? How did they raise them and were they always lower middle class? Hasn't anyone noticed Kalina's situation if he's actually beating on her and her sister, and if they have, why haven't Kalina and her sister been taken out of his custody? Teufel Town isn't a backwater city, surely they have child services that would notice within the space of 10 years since her mother died. Also, how did the family eat before Kalina learned to cook?
You mention Kalina has been mentally and sexually abused by other girls. This seems to be a pretty big point, but you hardly go into depth on it. When did it start? How did she cope? 15 is pretty young to enter a sexually abusive relationship, but this is in her history, so I assume this started even younger. How did she get involved in one, let alone three relationships like that before high school even? And if she clearly was forward enough to get counseling, why didn't she get counseling about her home life as well? How does she feel about having to get counseling and about her past relationships? About her home life and father? Why wouldn't she have done more about her home life sooner if she was willing to get counseling about an abusive relationship to protect herself? Remember, with the home life, the safety of not only herself but her little sister who is able to convince her to get therapy and clearly doesn't want to see Kalina get hurt, supposedly not by her father either, hangs in the balance. The stakes are far more compelling, even if her father is clearly still her father underneath.
Puella Magi: I really enjoy the weapon! Not only offensive, but able to shield someone from the elements- it goes well with Kalina's caring nature.
As for the power, I would play down the affecting the emotions of others, as that could seem a bit like godmoding, especially with berserker mode. Maybe focus it on herself more? It would go well with her weapon- the whole protecting those she cares about thing.
Kalina seems like a very sweet girl, and her personality is well balanced, but I think that the crux of this is the concept, which could use more work to make a really standout entry. Right now it just seems to fit quite comfortably inside a trope, and I'd enjoy seeing you either twist that trope somehow to your advantage competitively or to rework it to push her out of those boundaries a bit. Either way, I hope we can RP if you win her! I bet Flora would love to meet such a kind person. <3
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Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:45 pm
Also, as an aside, how did she find out about her sexuality?
She never really noticed it was "a thing" until she went to school and all the other girls really were into getting boyfriends and husbands when they got older, and she was still thinking she'd meet a princess to marry. And when she got into middleschool that sorta clicked that she wasn't really a heterosexual... at all. She'd always sort of known she was that way after looking back. As a note, she isn't ashamed, but won't really mention it unless asked. Her father doesn't really care about it, either.
What has he done to combat the alcoholism? Is he aware there's a problem? Was this problem present before his wife died? How did he cope with it then if it was?
He's tried to attend meetings when he's sober, as he's very aware he has a problem, but Dmitry still finds that he has trouble coping with his life and the way he treats his own children that he drinks again, in a vicious cycle. This actually began after his wife's death, as a way to dull his pain over losing her, and increased exponentially from then on.
What are his and his wife's relationships with their daughters? How did they raise them and were they always lower middle class?
He always got along very well with Kalina, and still does when he's sober (or nearly so), but he has an estranged relation to his youngest daughter Sofiya, since he can't help but subconciously blame her for his wife's death. He's much more quick to snap at her or try to hit Sofiya than he is Kalina, though she's made a point to protect her. Irina loved Kalina very much, and had a good relationship with her child, and she would have loved Sofiya if she didn't pass on in childbirth. They were always hanging between lower middle and middle class, but after Irina's death and Sofiya's birth, Dmitry had trouble managing the finances in the house. He and Irina had always been thrifty people though, so he was used to budget shopping and the like. Kalina is also like this.
Hasn't anyone noticed Kalina's situation if he's actually beating on her and her sister, and if they have, why haven't Kalina and her sister been taken out of his custody? Teufel Town isn't a backwater city, surely they have child services that would notice within the space of 10 years since her mother died.
Sofiya was very rarely touched by her father, because Kalina doesn't really allow her to be hurt, and would rather be hit instead. While it has been noticed, Kalina would vehemently deny it being abuse and would claim it to be from playing or being pushed by a friend. She was terrified if they found out they would seperate her from her sister.
Also, how did the family eat before Kalina learned to cook?
Dmitry wasn't so bad as to completely neglect all household responsibility and would still buy food. He just bought a lot of pre-cooked things like frozen meals. He got worse though as the years progressed.
This seems to be a pretty big point, but you hardly go into depth on it. When did it start? How did she cope?
I didn't go to in-depth because I worried it would be inappropriate or unecessary, and that it might make some people uncomfortable! It started when she was 12. She didn't really cope well, being so young and unsure of herself. She was incredibly gullible and believed everything they told her. Kalina rationalized it to herself as that just "being what love is like" and that if she made them upset she probably had deserved it.
How did she get involved in one, let alone three relationships like that before high school even?
Kalina was vulnerable and desperate, and she was taken advantage each time, without really realizing that was occurring to her.
And if she clearly was forward enough to get counseling, why didn't she get counseling about her home life as well? How does she feel about having to get counseling and about her past relationships?
Kalina is certain if she tried to get counseling for her home life, she would risk losing her sister, which she couldn't bear to do. Kalina is glad she took care of her relationship problems, because she feels damaged from them and that she's slowly learning to be more assertive in her life. She does not have many fond memories of her past relationships and prefers not to talk about them.
Why wouldn't she have done more about her home life sooner if she was willing to get counseling about an abusive relationship to protect herself? Remember, with the home life, the safety of not only herself but her little sister who is able to convince her to get therapy and clearly doesn't want to see Kalina get hurt, supposedly not by her father either, hangs in the balance. The stakes are far more compelling, even if her father is clearly still her father underneath.
Kalina's self-worth at the moment is all on taking care of her sister and making sure she is happy and healthy. She feels if she protects her sister and does the things she asks, she'll be okay, and so will Sofiya. She doesn't really care what happens to her as long as Sofiya is okay, so when her sister asked if she was being hurt, that was the first time it really occurred to her that maybe that wasn't what should be happening to her, if that makes sense? She has plans to take Sofiya with her when she's old enough to move out, but until then she won't risk losing her sister to foster care.
Powers
Thank you, powers are always so hard for me! I worried it was too much like godmoding, but I'll try to work it so it's more self-focused.
And thanks so much for the crit! I'll work on making her more planned out, and I would love to RP with you c:
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Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:54 pm
A few responses here for points that still don't make sense to me!
Sexual abuse- If you don't feel comfortable elaborating on this, I strongly suggest that you don't include it. Kalina already has more than enough tragedy in her life to be getting on with without this aside, and if it doesn't feel appropriate to you to expand upon, then it probably isn't appropriate for the shop.
Protecting Sofiya- "Kalina's self-worth at the moment is all on taking care of her sister and making sure she is happy and healthy. She feels if she protects her sister and does the things she asks, she'll be okay, and so will Sofiya." -If this is the case, why does she let Sofiya be raised in a household where her father is actively targeting and attempting to physically abuse Sofiya? This is what I meant- it makes no sense, and just taking the blows for her can't be effective all the time, nor can it keep Sofiya very happy if she's the type of girl who gets upset at even the thought of Kalina being abused by someone. Why does she care if she gets separated from Sofiya if it would give Sofiya a better chance of being happy and safe if she doesn't really care what happens to her so long as Sofiya is happy and safe?
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Posted: Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:11 am
Hey Purp!
I'm just gonna leave a quick note here to reinforce some things and maybe bring others to light.
Kalina
First off, I'm in agreement with Kota over writing her personality out in full paragraph form. It's cleaner and easier to follow, for one, and as she said it makes it easier to understand how each of the traits connect and play off one another. It feels like we're getting a fuller picture this way.
Secondly, I'm going to suggest that you add in the notes you made from Kota's questions in regards to her history into her profile's history. It's very short here and we don't get much detail at all, but you've obviously put thought into it so it would be best if that information was all in one place and easily digestible.
In regards to history, I'm going to probe a little deeper. Kota already touched on a lot of stuff but I'm going to agree with her on a lot of points. In particular, I strongly suggest removing the sexual abuse entirely. If you aren't comfortable elaborating on it then it honestly has no business being in her history at all; it's probably not appropriate for the shop and may in fact make others uncomfortable. Just as well, since it's kind of just mentioned and then quickly thrown away by her getting counseling for it, it seems like it doesn't make much of a difference in the long run for her character. She could just as easily be abused and manipulated in ways that aren't sexual and you could still keep that. Aside from that, she was so young when it happened, it seems rather farfetched. Not to pull on tropes or anything but that seems to mostly be an age older (creepy) men might find attractive, not other young girls.
Alternatively, in regards to Kalina's self-worth and connection with her sister as well as the parental abuse, it seems to me there's some sort of disconnect with Kalina's character here. She had no problem seeking counseling for her own problems and is recovering, and yet she is leaving herself and her sister at the mercy of her father who is clearly showing no signs of improvement. I realize Kota mentioned this already but, to me, if Kalina's only reason for not wanting to get help with this is that she doesn't want to lose her sister... that's very selfish of her. It also reeks of martyrdom, since she's giving herself up to more abuse in her sister's stead, which isn't necessarily a good thing in a lot of respects. Her motivation for not getting help for her sister feels very flimsy to me and in regards to it being selfish, rather out of character from everything else you've established. She seems to be much more of the type that would forego anything negative against her if it meant the betterment of the ones she loved and she clearly cares about her sister very much.
Puella
I'm curious if you've got any plans for how her desires might affect the actual wish and what consequences might befall her in regards to it (positive or negative). In almost all stories, love wishes are an exceptionally tricky thing and usually go horribly wrong. I'm not sure whether you're going for a tragic love story or something a bit more up beat, but there are a lot of ways this type of wish could go in regards to roleplay! In particular, I'm seeing that, if she wishes for "true love" she might end up unintentionally brainwashing someone into loving her, and that certainly wouldn't be what she wanted or intended. Love potion stories usually turn to very smothering companions who become completely obsessed with the object of their affection so much that it turns abusive and violent. I think these are some important things to consider in regards to her desires, as they may turn into a direction she or you do not want.
I'm sorry to say, her emblem (though more ornate/different in design) is still a heart shape and that was used for one of the Puella in a sale! Unfortunately that means you're going to have to change her emblem. I'm sure there are a lot of other symbols that represent love, devotion and passion so you shouldn't have too hard a time coming up with one. There's lots of resources posted in the quest sub-forum for that sort of thing!
Well, that's that. I hope this helped! Sorry it was a bit long winded.
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