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 Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 8:46 pm
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The theme to the story contest is Emotion! Make something emotional and draw us in! Submit your works in this thread using the code found below.
[quote="SorceressJacklyn"][/quote]
[color=purple][size=18]I have a rewrite for Calm![/size]
Username:
Submission Number:
Submission Title:
Submission:[/color]
Rules:
1. Keep it PG13.
2. You are allowed 3 submissions. But remember, you can only win once.
The prizes are as follows:
1st Prize: 1 November 2010 MC, Valefor Academy, Gaia Wrath, 251,293 gold
2nd Prize: Valefor Academy, Gaia Wrath, 128,868 gold
3rd Prize: Valefor Academy, Gaia Wrath, 83,765 gold
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:53 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:55 pm
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the little madeleine girl
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:05 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:29 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:51 pm
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I have a rewrite for Calm!
Username: Icy Rundas
Submission Number: 1
Submission Title: Perfect
Submission: It's...a different thing to be loved by people...and to really be loved by people. I'm sure you don't understand what I'm saying, so I'll try to explain it as best I can.
Since I was very young, I was known as perfect. I was known as the Hope of our Village, the brightest medic that had come out of the Village in a very long time. It's very difficult to be perfect, especially when you are young. You don't notice it when you are a child, but the pressure put on you is...difficult to cope with. It wasn't that I didn't have a good childhood, because the only memories I can recall were good memories of my parents and my brother.
...my clan...my family...was murdered when I was but five years old. And I blocked out everything I had seen to even be able to continue living normally. All I remember was that it had been my fault...my older brother, Shinsei had told me that it wasn't, but I knew...
I...moved on. I left my village and made my way to a neighboring village. It was the village that my father had grown up in. I met children my age and I made friends. Actual friends. Friends that I knew I could count on and wouldn't leave me, even if they knew that the demise of my people had been my fault. They made me almost...forget. The happiness they brought me took the place of my grief and my pain. I even got to meet and make friends with some of my father's family, however distantly related they were. Since I had not seen Shin since that night, I knew not of what had become of my beloved brother. I was truly the last of my clan.
As I grew older, despite my happiness in my new home, my mind began to unearth the memories of the night I had tried so hard to forget. I began having nightmares of my poor, beautiful mother and my poor, brave father dying before my eyes at the hands of a black-haired man that had some of the coldest, power-hungry eyes I had ever seen. And it felt like I was falling apart again; my sanity was slowly slipping away from between my fingers. The only thing that was keeping me from true madness and despair was the people I had come to love during my stay in the village.
And soon...sooner than I could have imagined...I discovered the man who had destroyed my original happiness; the man with the cold, yellow eyes. He had been following me, keeping watch as I grew ever older. I had been his target he told me once. He had only originally wanted my medic knowledge and abilities. The only reason he had killed my clan...my family...was because of something my brother had told him on his adventures. Shinsei had accidentally revealed our clan's special optic power; a power that only my mother's family had. Only I had. The man with the cold eyes had wanted this power for himself. And what better way to take it than get rid of the only thing protecting this power.
Even though I had known this information for many years...I never went looking for him; I never went looking for revenge. I had been asked why I never tried to avenge my family many times. And I had given the same answer every time. One day...his time will come, and my family will deal with him themselves, with their own brand of justice. And it's not like me to go after such things. The last part would be said with a small smile, because it was, indeed, not like me. And everyone knew it.
[This one is meh. neutral ]
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:55 pm
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the little madeleine girl
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 8:59 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:01 pm
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:51 pm
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I have a rewrite for Calm!
Username: Icy Rundas
Submission Number: 2
Submission Title: Happiness
Submission:
As I watched them at the table, all of them, I realized, not for the first time, just how fortunate I was. His family had been small; it had only been him and his father before his father had died and his estranged younger sister afterwards. My own family had been large once upon a time, but hard times had made the clan numbers dwindle until there were only a handful of us left, including my mother, older brother and I. Since then, the massacre had left me the only one. Neither he nor I knew much of large families until now, having been parts of small ones ourselves.
Now, though...now, we had a family together. And what a family it was. Twins seemed to be genetic on my mother's side, as my older brother Shinsei had once had a twin who had died in battle before I was born, and my own twin had been stillborn. Luckily for he and I, our first pair of twins, both girls, had been born perfectly healthy. The first born we named Kaori, after my poor, beautiful mother Kaora. Little Kaori had dark black hair like mine, with a large streak of her father's token silver right down the middle of her soft, downy baby hair. The second girl was named Sakuya, after my husband's father. She was a quiet baby. Surly almost. Sakuya was almost a perfect copy of me, with one little difference. She had the smallest streak of silver on the left side of her tiny head. While Sakuya was a quiet child, her almost exactly identical twin Kaori was a happy, responsive baby. They were both such sweet babies in their own little ways.
If I thought the happiness that my husband and little girls had brought me was going to last forever, I wasn't wrong, but I wasn't exactly right. Soon after the twins were born, my closest friend, a man I had known since I had come to the village, and his wife, my husband's sister and another of my closest friends, both died, leaving their very young son in our hands. They had both died in battle, and she had given me a small will. The two of them had left their baby in our hands. They had not had the chance to even have named him. His name, according to her dying words, was to be Chihiro. The boy was a painful, but beautiful reminder of the two friends I had lost and the sister that my husband had lost. Chihiro was the sweetest baby I had ever seen, so well-behaved and calm, like he knew what had happened but was trying to tell us that it would be okay.
...I had only cried twice since my clan's massacre; once when another very close friend and comrade of ours had died in battle, leaving his own lover alone and with child, and the other when I heard that my closest companion had died and left the only reminder the world had of him with me.
Since the time that Chihiro had joined our little family, my husband and I miraculously had a second pair of twins. This time, they were both boys. Sadly, there were not as healthy as the girls had been. More accurately, I should say, was that the younger of the two, Takumo, also named after my husband's father had absorbed more nutrients than his slightly older brother and left the other child with less to grow on. Neme, though quite a few minutes older than his brother, was much smaller and quite tiny at birth. Other than Neme's slight lack of nutrients, both of the boys were born healthy. And though he was small, Neme was the strongest little warrior I had ever seen. He had more of his father's silver than my ebony in his hair, but both of us were seen in him. He was a sweet boy, as sweet as you could see. Takumo looked the most like his father, with a little streak of black on the right side of his head. He was a tough little warrior, always looking after his older siblings, even though he was the youngest, even though they could look after themselves, and even though he didn't have to.
As I watched my family at the table, a smile pulled at my lips. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen or had ever hoped to see. My husband caught my eye and smiled, reaching across the wood to grasp my hand gently. Even his eyes were smiling, and my own smile grew even wider. I had never expected to fall in love, and I had never dreamed of having an actual family again, but I had been...blessed. And here I was, watching my large and still-growing family interact. I decided then that I was the most fortunate, happy woman in the world, and I wouldn't trade this happiness for anything else.
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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 2:18 am
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I have a rewrite for Calm!
Username: Savart
Submission Number: 1
Submission Title: ClockLock
Submission:
Preface: This piece is about my personal emotions as it relates to the story of the song "Clock Lock Works," hope you enjoy it.
*Knock knock*
"Hey, Savart you there?"
"Yeah," I answered, unsure of who asked, "why?"
"Ready to go?"
"Go where?"
"Out."
"Out? I don't know, I've never really been out before…"
"It's nice, you do want to meet people right?"
"But, people are mean; I mean, sure I want to meet friends but people aren't friends."
"How do you know that? Most friends are people, unless you want to meet a kind bird, or perhaps a fictional character?"
"I guess a real person would be nice as a friend, but what if they don't like me?"
"Then that's not a friend, you've had some before, why not try again now?"
"That was a long time ago, I don't even remember how it happened."
"You don't need to, it will come naturally."
"Still I don't know, whenever I go out I always get hurt. I don't like getting hurt, my heart falls to pieces and I end up crying in front of everyone."
"That doesn't have to be the case, I'll be your first friend. Then together we can go and look for more!"
"Really? I guess it wouldn't be so bad, but it could take me a while to get to the door."
"That's OK, that's what friends are for; I'll be here waiting for you."
"I'll trust you then," I said, slowly heading for the locked door. My room felt infinitely bigger, its small size grown exponentially with my worries, and my hopes. I reached for the door, and found my school on the other side. People to meet in class, people to hang out with: all sorts of different types.
At first my heart was still very delicate, it broke so easily; I sometimes worried that I wouldn't have any luck. But then things changed, there were people who could put my heart back together, and did.
This was what my sophomore year felt like: a hopeful start, with people I could depend on, I shall always be grateful to them. And, like Sweet Charity, I shall live "hopefully ever after."
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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 3:00 am
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I have a rewrite for Calm!
Username: NecHocNecIllud
Submission Number:1
Submission Title: Waiting
Submission: We stood right up against the barrier at the small landing field, clutching each other's hands in the dark. It was cold, our breath clouding from our mouths as we waited, excited and a little scared. Would it be okay? Would they really let him come home for Christmas? I jiggled a little, wishing my thin leather jacket were warmer.
We saw the lights and then the plane was landing. Waiting for it to taxi was excruciating. Finally, they rolled up the stairs and soldiers started down, one by one, carrying their duffles, and then I saw him in the door of the plane, looking almost like a stranger in a stocking cap, his long brown hair shorn.
They let us through the barrier and I ran and I hugged him tight. He clutched me like he was scared I'd float away. His Mother caught us in the light of her cameras flash ad then we were walking back to her car, still holding hands, still amazed to finally be back together, despite the army, despite everything. Still amazed to be looking at each other again in the flesh and breathing the same icy air. |
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