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 Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 7:46 am
 - "This Pokémon is a pack hunter. Swarms of this Pokémon will attack virtually anything in the water with unmatched ferocity. Without the strength of numbers, however, this Pokémon becomes cowardly and shy."
(( Image taken from Serebii.net // Quote taken from Bulbapedia.com ))o - Character Name:` ` ` ` ` `- Red.o - Type:` ` ` ` ` `- Pokemon.o - Species:` ` ` ` ` `- Carvanha.o - Region:` ` ` ` ` `- N/A.o - Trainer Type:` ` ` ` ` `- N/A.o - Gender:` ` ` ` ` `- Male.o - Height:` ` ` ` ` `- 5 Feet, 6 Inches.o - Age:` ` ` ` ` `- About 23 years old.o - Hair Color:` ` ` ` ` `- Just off-black, into navy blue. Looks more black than blue; when in a source of light, it shines navy blue/has a navy blue overlay. Scene hairstyle with the middle-tip dyed a yellow half-star like on the belly of his Pokemon form.o - Eye Color:` ` ` ` ` `- Red with a yellow rim around his pupils.o - Skin Color:` ` ` ` ` `- Caucasian.o - Other:` ` ` ` ` `- Clothing-wise: He has this bandana tied to his right wrist at all times, but what is ALWAYS on him is a navy blue bandana with two fang designs at the top (or middle if in a default square) by his mouth, with the bottom (or if seen on default, corners towards middle) being a red gradient. He wears this one over his mouth, and can somehow speak clearly enough with it on. His shirt is sleeveless, punk-styled with a navy blue base color and yellow straps, and wears red-checkered skinny jeans. He even appears to be wearing smoky eyeshadow. In human form, he still has his fish-like "tail", and instead of ears, his side fins have replaced them in a smaller-scale version of what they used to be.o - Nature:` ` ` ` ` `- Naiveo - Ability:` ` ` ` ` `- Rough Skino - Skill Set:` ` ` ` ` `- Crunch` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `~ Dark; "The user crunches up the target with sharp fangs. It may also lower the target's Defense stat."` ` ` ` ` `- Aqua Jet` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `~ Water; "The user lunges at the target at a speed that makes it almost invisible. It is sure to strike first."` ` ` ` ` `- Take Down` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `~ Normal; "A reckless, full-body charge attack for slamming into the target. It also damages the user a little."` ` ` ` ` `- Agility` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` ` `~ Psychic; "The user relaxes and lightens its body to move faster. It sharply boosts the Speed stat."(( One color done in "tan" instead of yellow, in case the colors seem a bit off compared to him. I didn't want to burn out anyone's eyes o__o ))
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 7:59 am
Who I Am
` ` ` `The personality
The Good:
o - Delightfully Peaceful: Partly because he wishes to keep to himself and partly out of pure intentions, Red doesn't cause any trouble for anyone and, besides when it comes to honesty, never tries to hurt anyone mentally or physically. He has a rather pure morale, even from the smallest act by giving a homeless person spare change.
o - Cheerily Optimistic: Unlike many of his fellow Carvanhas, Red actually has a rather positive, almost puppy-dog like outlook on the world and his community. As long as he isn’t around someone who is intimidating to him, he will talk about everything in a positive light and may even get excited enough to speak in simpler words and phrases. Even something like a horrible forest fire, he can easily give a positive spin to. He loves to positively give back to the world around him, and will always reach out a helpful hand, including volunteer work and giving his spare change to someone less fortunate. Unlike the others, he doesn’t have the usual snappy, grumpy outlook on life.
The So-so
o - Wishful Thinking: Red is known to have high goals in life that he wishes to aspire to. These goals lead him through his daily lives, from the simplest things like visiting a place he is interested in to something like practicing social skills, he will try his best to act on them. Sometimes, these goals that he sticks himself to give him a confidence boost, making him less flighty than he usually is. Yet, this doesn’t always happen for him, and just because he has big dreams and goals doesn’t mean that he will actually follow them or do them.
The Not-so Good
o - A bit Skittish: Just like his original Pokemon instincts, when alone or with a small group, he may have spontaneous bouts of cowardice and anxiety. Even if he's walking down a decently crowded street, if he sees something or someone that intimidates him, he will turn right around and start running away from it, even if it was an inanimate object. This also goes without saying that if he is ever caught by whatever it is that he runs from, he be as submissive as possible so he could get away as fast and with as little words spoken by him as possible.
o - Clings to the Past/Memories Unfortunately, Red does not know how to properly let go of the past, or several of the memories that he has. Granted, he doesn’t actually tend to be clingy to worldly possessions or people, but he will always relate back to a past date that may hinder his choices at the time being. For example, if he once tried to ride a bicycle when he was a child and fell off, every time he would have the opportunity to go biking he would relate back to that one memory and may deny himself from trying. This trait of his is most likely what contributes to his skittishness, as when he was growing up in the pack of Carvanhas, they were all tougher and probably intimidated him.
The things I'm GREAT at: Great runner, light-hearted attitude (people with positive outlooks usually have happier and healthier lives), can defend himself viciously in small areas/proximity, selfless.
The things I'm, er, not-so-great at: Very flighty, can be self-hindering, usually high anxiety, usually lonesome.
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:25 pm
History
` ` ` ` ` `The life story~
The beginning of his story isn't anything special, nor anything much unique, as much as one may think or wish. Although, from the start he was a very individual person within his school of which he was born into, thus giving his story its own little twist. He was completely the odd one out of the Carvanha and Sharpedo school he and his several siblings were born into; for one, his personality and social attitude were so abnormal compared to all of the others. Unlike what their behavior should "naturally" be, Red didn't necessarily enjoy hunting other creatures and Pokemon as a school, for it made him feel like a bully and a cruel person, and unlike their usual grumpy or livid interactions with one another, when he wasn't shunned away enough he would try to have a diplomatic and calm approach to a conversation. Because of this, he would even stray from his group sometimes in order to converse, or what little of conversing he did, with other marine creatures, such as Staryu, Goldeen, Seadra, Magikarp. Yet, even with these Pokemon, some would flee in fear because of what he was, or some conversations would somehow intimidate him and he would flee from them. He constantly felt so out of place, felt like the life and body he was in was wrong. He was "supposed" to act a certain way that was not him, and many saw him as something that he was not. All he really wanted was a home where he could feel a bit safer, a bit more equal, to be who he was or act the way he felt.
This petite desire of his only grew as he grew older, year after year. At first lead by curiosity, he drew closer and closer to the surface, and with every breathtaking new discovery of the world above the waters, Red soon discovered humans, as well as other flying and earth-roaming Pokemon of which he had never seen before. He kept his observations at a distance, his eyes barely skimming the surface of the waters he had known his entire lifetime. Every once in a while, he would see a human or two trying to lure the marine Pokemon in action (sure, he had seen the bait before, but knew better than to touch it), and would even see some land Pokemon walking alongside these humans, even assisting them at times. Now, if only he could be like one of them, a peaceful land Pokemon or one of those humans! But this was only a dream.
And did it become a dream. As he was watching these creatures more and more often, his desires to become like one of them grew exponentially. Red would daydream of such things nearly every day, and he would, every once in a while, have actual dreams of him being like one of those humans. And in each actual dream he envisioned as he slept each night, the time of day seemed to get later and later consecutively, starting as an early morning setting. After several weeks had passed, one particular night his dream was abnormally odd. The skies were the pink and lavender that usually painted the clouds right before dusk, and he was unusually already comfortable within this human skin. He sat by the edge of a river, his naked feet teasing the surface of the brisk water. Cheerfully, he entertained himself by simply feeding the marine creatures below pieces of bread and crackers, talking to them as he fed them. For an odd reason, as he fed them he felt as if this was the last of any food he had left, but he was more than happy to be giving it away to these Pokemon who looked like they were absolutely starving down below. He talked to them as well as himself as he continued to lazily rip tiny pieces and sloppily toss them in. If only this dream could last forever! He could actually get along with his fellow Pokemon occupying this world, and he just felt like he had so much more freedom, so much more potential available to him in this body than he did within his very own under the water.
And with the still ever-growing wish within him, whispers began to scrape within his head. As the voice continued to speak, a pinkish mist began to rise from the top of the water, carrying no scent along with it. The words stung with each syllable, but yet were as smooth as honey to his senses. What they requested of him, he couldn't help but to accept. Besides, the voice had a sense of mystery and power to it, which immediately sent chills up his spine and tensed his muscles up. He had never had someone else, other than those he was clearly speaking to, speak to him, which had definitely frightened him quite a bit.
He awoke quite suddenly after the encounter, finding himself right underwater where he had fallen asleep, but was now suffocating. In a panic, he instinctively clawed his way sky-bound. He broke through the surface of the water, air rushing through his throat. Taking a moment to contemplate what had just happened to him, his eyes grew wide in surprise. Hastily, he continued to swim his way over to the nearest bank, reaching out and crawling onto the earth on what he realized were hands and knees, just like the ones he had dreamed about. Instantly, a smile spread across his face, never feeling happier about anything else he had experienced in his lifetime beforehand. It really happened! He was now one of the equals, one of the free walkers that he had seen to live quietly and helpfully with each other and the fellow Pokemon. Now, he could finally be who he felt like being, free of persecution and judgement from the grumpy school he had been born and raised in. Now, he had so many possibilities to assist others, explore, and live peacefully the way he wished to, for from this day on, this life was truly his own. This was his first heartbeat.
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Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 7:17 am
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Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 5:11 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 7:18 am
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Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 9:34 am
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Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 12:25 pm
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Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:46 pm
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Posted: Sun Oct 02, 2011 3:57 pm
I AM RECYLCING THIS THREAD FOR NOW! I WILL FINISH/CONTINUE SCORCH AT A LATER DATE, BUT AS OF RIGHT NOW EVERYTHING ABOVE THIS POST IS OLD. EVERY POST BELOW THIS ONE WILL BE RELATED TO A NEW QUEST.
Thank you for your time~! ^_^
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Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 6:01 am
Red is finally up for crit! <3
And and all critique will be very appreciated!
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 4:43 am
I honestly can't find anything that gives me immediate cause for concern in Red's concept! All in all he seems to be a well rounded character with due consideration for your own personal perception of him, as well as the perception of those who are looking at him from outside your mind.
My only 'criticism', if you would even call it that, is to be careful of spelling errors as they can completely transform a sentence sometimes and render it confusing or meaningless e.g. morals vs morale, you currently have 'morale' down which is a different word entirely. Also, Magicarp vs Magikarp (pokemon world it has a 'k').
Fish also don't hang out in "packs", they hang out in "schools" so you may wish to change that little bit in your history.
Grammatically speaking, while I'm not going to smack you around the head and nag you over it, just for later food for thought - try to avoid using "And" at the start of sentences as this is actually poor sentence construction. Additionally, you'll need to avoid using repetition in various sentences as you repeat the same word a number of times e.g. "actual". It doesn't always read correctly, but again, this is just me nitpicking and isn't an immediate criticism.
All in all, with the exception of those little niggles the history is good as well. ^_^
Feel free to tweak the little typos indicated but I actually think this is at the level where I can pass it on for approval so it should be switched to the approved section shortly provided there are no immediate grievances from Mooty/Vittles either.
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 11:05 am
Thank you very much, Rose, this honestly really made my week! I've been feeling horribly down lately, and to wake up to this absolutely made me super happy~! I'm glad that he is liked and approved enough, too, for I really liked him a lot and put a bunch of effort into him! <3
I've fixed up all the careless errors that you mentioned, just to make it a better piece and cleaned up~
Thank you very much once again; not only do I really appreciate your approval, but I also really appreciate you taking the time to read his profile! ^_^
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Posted: Fri Jan 20, 2012 11:22 am
I tend to point out just what's amiss, but plz do let me know if you have any questions! Small things that you'll need to change: Number of personality traits. The shop follows as 2 Positive, 2 negative one neutral rule. Having 3 neutral traits oversteps that sadly. Small wording things that I get caught up in. "Red doesn't cause any trouble for anyone" Realistically, he would never be 100% not problem making. Simple word addition to "Red doesn't try to cause any trouble for anyone' It's a really small word change, but the effect leaves it more open ended and provide flexibility towards RP and development. On traits themselves- on baseline, brutally honest runs counter to being optimistic and being a wishful thinker. In optimistic, you touch on his wishful thinking so it might benefit to move that trait into his optimistic. But a brutally honest person doesn't often candy coat things. And if he's brutally honest, he probably wouldn't go for goals he can't obtain or do or get realistically. Like... They can work here in some ways, but no on a general spectrum they run counter. I'd suggest taking brutally honest and sprinkling it into his optimism like 'While he looks on the bright side of things sometimes he will just say it like it is'. You can sometimes sprinkle lesser traits into larger ones and still having it work. Underestimated- I have an issue with this because it's focusing on how others see him. Not only that, but it's negating the aspect of him being skittish. The trait is really showing the 'exception' to his skittishness which isn't something that would happen more often than not? Like unless everyday he's challenged, this wouldn't come up. It's really sort of like giving him a negative aspect then giving a large 'well actually it doesn't really apply'. A trait shouldn't depend on how others see him or, predetermine how others might see him. Being reserved in terms of how much he lets people know about himself is a trait, being stubborn in his thoughts is a trait. Being loyal to himself is a trait. You can probably find another thing that works. But the way it is now comes off as weak and diminishes a negative aspect. In traits, ask how it would effect relationships with other people and how it forms actions or a lack of. General helpful tool. Skittish- This is going into the far FAR extremes at running away at anyone. So if he meets a gijinka what stops him from running away? This is a very inner character trait, so, please elaborate how it effects his relationships with others rather than just scenarios. memories- again, make it about interactions with others, less about himself. Hope this helps
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:25 am
I think for the most part this character is pretty well fleshed out. I have a couple of the same quorums that Vamps does. However, I believe I have a very simple solution to this. I would say ditch the traits "Brutally honest" and "Under Estimated" Why: Brutally honest clashes with his skittishness. If you're afraid of someone it's unlikely that someone would run their mouth off unfiltered. Especially if they generally go about things with and air of optimism. This would make me think they're more likely to try to sugar coat if anything. As far as underestimated goes.... It's really hard to say how other people's character's may perceive your own and I wouldn't assume anything. But--aside from those two things everything checks out. If you do decide to discard them, you'd still meet the requirements of approval but feel free to re-hash if you think you can make it work.
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![[.Silvr-Moon.]'s avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/a2/89/59e868a46889a2_flip.png?t=1364596114_6.00_01)
