|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 7:59 pm
I am just upset that my mom won't believe me when I say that I am bi. She says that she does not want me to come home with a girl. She thinks that I am being pressured into being bi. She thinks that I am just trying to fit in with other people. If I was trying to fit in, I would not have told anyone that i was gay. I would have kept that to myself. I just don't care what people think about me anymore. If they hate me because I like girls, then screw them. Unfortunately, my mother is one of those people. I just don't know what to do anymore.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 8:04 pm
Same with my mother :/
But perhaps if you give her time, she'll start to accept you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 8:11 pm
i hope so!
i don't know what i would do if she never came around! I would really rather have her accept the fact and kick me out than have her just go into straight up denial.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 8:16 pm
That's unfair if your happy for who you are then she should be happy for you
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 8:48 pm
that's what i had hoped for....
it's just hard when you finally get the courage to tell your homophobic mother that you're bi and she replies with "No you're not." *sigh*
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:14 pm
Well It's not her foult if her mom and dad told her it was wrong
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 11:01 pm
Conker4253 Well It's not her foult if her mom and dad told her it was wrong it would be completely different if she just told me that what i was feeling was wrong - but she just came straight out and told me that i DIDN'T feel these things at all, not that i shouldn't but that i didn't!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 11, 2011 11:21 pm
Wonderful Nicole Conker4253 Well It's not her foult if her mom and dad told her it was wrong it would be completely different if she just told me that what i was feeling was wrong - but she just came straight out and told me that i DIDN'T feel these things at all, not that i shouldn't but that i didn't! Yeah my dad told me when he was in school that if they find out you where gay,lesbians or bi they would get beat up
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:44 am
A few parents go through the denial stage, I think it's because they thought they knew everything about their child. I'm sure my parents would go through that stage if I came out to them.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:44 am
The thing is, it's a good sign. Seriously. If she's saying she doesn't believe that you are, when the day comes that she realizes that you really are, she's going to have to change her mentality around.
When a homophobic parent gets the news that his/her kid is gay, they have to make a choice between their belief that all gays are bad, and their belief that their kids are good. It's a lost cause if they tell you it's wrong- (well, mostly) but most of the time, if they can't accept the fact you're gay, it means their brain is currently short-circuiting at the moment and they need some time to figure out what's more important.
What you have to do now is be the same daughter you always were, loving and nice and whatever, but don't lie to her about who you're attracted to. You don't need to bring it up all the time, but keep her posted on, say, if you have a girlfriend (don't get into details though!) and act as though everything is completely normal otherwise.
A gay friend of mine's husband's mother just wouldn't accept that her son was gay and she kept acting like they were just roommates. Eventually, though, they talked it over, and now she's quite poud of her "two boys"- neither of them issure how she reconciles it with her religion, but the thing is she's accepting.
Most likely right now your mom is really, really unsure what to do about the fact her daughter is bi, so she just ignores the problem. But if she's ignoring it, it means she loves you very, very much, and she's having trouble putting you in the "gays- those people I hate" category for that reason. All you need to do is make sure she knows that you're still her daughter, and cross your fingers that she'll mke the right decision, and let love for you trump hate for gays.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:09 pm
A lot of parents are like that. They assume their child will end up one way and if they differentiate from that then they have no idea how their child's future will be.
I told my mom I am asexual and she says she doesn't care. Which kinda hurts actually since she seems to think that there shouldn't even be a word for it and I'm pretty sure she still thinks it's a choice. She just doesn't even want to talk about it when I try to talk to her.
So don't worry. It'll take time, but most parents seem to come to at least accept it. Even if they don't agree with it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:40 pm
Artemesia Greylace The thing is, it's a good sign. Seriously. If she's saying she doesn't believe that you are, when the day comes that she realizes that you really are, she's going to have to change her mentality around. When a homophobic parent gets the news that his/her kid is gay, they have to make a choice between their belief that all gays are bad, and their belief that their kids are good. It's a lost cause if they tell you it's wrong- (well, mostly) but most of the time, if they can't accept the fact you're gay, it means their brain is currently short-circuiting at the moment and they need some time to figure out what's more important. What you have to do now is be the same daughter you always were, loving and nice and whatever, but don't lie to her about who you're attracted to. You don't need to bring it up all the time, but keep her posted on, say, if you have a girlfriend (don't get into details though!) and act as though everything is completely normal otherwise. A gay friend of mine's husband's mother just wouldn't accept that her son was gay and she kept acting like they were just roommates. Eventually, though, they talked it over, and now she's quite proud of her "two boys"- neither of them is sure how she reconciles it with her religion, but the thing is she's accepting. Most likely right now your mom is really, really unsure what to do about the fact her daughter is bi, so she just ignores the problem. But if she's ignoring it, it means she loves you very, very much, and she's having trouble putting you in the "gays- those people I hate" category for that reason. All you need to do is make sure she knows that you're still her daughter, and cross your fingers that she'll make the right decision, and let love for you trump hate for gays. thank you so much for your input! this has to be the most helpful thing I've ever read on the topic!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 8:12 am
Wonderful Nicole Artemesia Greylace The thing is, it's a good sign. Seriously. If she's saying she doesn't believe that you are, when the day comes that she realizes that you really are, she's going to have to change her mentality around. When a homophobic parent gets the news that his/her kid is gay, they have to make a choice between their belief that all gays are bad, and their belief that their kids are good. It's a lost cause if they tell you it's wrong- (well, mostly) but most of the time, if they can't accept the fact you're gay, it means their brain is currently short-circuiting at the moment and they need some time to figure out what's more important. What you have to do now is be the same daughter you always were, loving and nice and whatever, but don't lie to her about who you're attracted to. You don't need to bring it up all the time, but keep her posted on, say, if you have a girlfriend (don't get into details though!) and act as though everything is completely normal otherwise. A gay friend of mine's husband's mother just wouldn't accept that her son was gay and she kept acting like they were just roommates. Eventually, though, they talked it over, and now she's quite proud of her "two boys"- neither of them is sure how she reconciles it with her religion, but the thing is she's accepting. Most likely right now your mom is really, really unsure what to do about the fact her daughter is bi, so she just ignores the problem. But if she's ignoring it, it means she loves you very, very much, and she's having trouble putting you in the "gays- those people I hate" category for that reason. All you need to do is make sure she knows that you're still her daughter, and cross your fingers that she'll make the right decision, and let love for you trump hate for gays. thank you so much for your input! this has to be the most helpful thing I've ever read on the topic! Aww, thanks! No problem! I hope you sort it all out eventually.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 12:17 pm
My mother sorta said the same thing. I told her when I was in 7th grade and till this day she dosen't believe me sad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:34 am
my mother was the same when i told her, she thought it was health issues and wanted me to check up. but i finally never ment to have a fight or anything told her and walk away to my gf(fiance) i got sick of being someone i was not and finally opened to my true self and my fiance accepts me as who i am and what i am.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
