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[APPROVED] Shelley the book person quest

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waphel

PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 8:18 am


Name: Shelley
Nickname(s): none yet
Age (Appearance Wise): late teens, early twenties
Age (Actual): ~3 months
Personality:

Adventurous- Shelley tends to be fearless. Occasionally stupidly so. It stems from his curiosity and desire to have new experiences and is his only way of keeping himself occupied and distracted from an insatiable wanderlust he can't fulfill. While at times he is certainly discontent with the cloistered life within the city, most of the time he is more than able to distract himself with adventures and lessons within the city limits. There is, after all, so very much to learn and do and see.

Wanderlust Plagued with a longing to do and see things far beyond the paper forest, Shelley is occasionally struck by an ennui he can't describe. Most of the time he compensates for this wanderlust by diving into a book, or immersing himself in some new thing, or exploring the city, or some other distraction, but every so often he'll be struck with a longing to venture out beyond the city.

Curious insatiably so, Shelley is driven more than anything else by a desire to learn and discover new things around him. Anything that can further his understanding of his world is welcomed with ravenous affection. His deepest passion lies in language. Syntax and Etymology can never bore him, and the fact that the city folk communicate via written word fascinates him beyond compare.

Joyful/Appreciative Shelley has an appreciation of life that borders on the weird. Wind, the sun- weak as it is, the way things feel and sound, sometimes it all gets to be a little much for him and he has to just stop and focus on the experience.

Fear of Death I can't think of a concise adjective for this, but Shelley is easily overwhelmed with a deeply-set fear of mortality. Any reminder of the transitory nature of existence sets him into a bit of a panic.

Lonely Even when he's with others, Shelley feels a little lonely. It is one of the driving forces behind his adventurism and probably stems from his unfulfilled wanderlust. He certainly isn't inconsiderate of the few friends he does have, though he often will wander away from them to be alone, where he feels more comfortable.

Clueless Shelley doesn't really know how to interact with people. He takes most of his social cues off of the books he's read, occasionally stealing lines outright. He has this clueless, awkward way about him and often ends up with a helpless look as he tries to navigate a social encounter to the best of his abilities.

Thoughts on the Forest: It still feels more like home than the city, he wishes he could return, but more than that, he wants to find his way through it.
Thoughts of Book Children: He knows they are supposed to be like him, and he's supposed to have some sort of sense of belonging with them, but he can't escape the feeling that he's somehow different.
Thoughts on City People: He's much more at ease with them than book children, not that that's saying much. At least with City People he's supposed to feel different. He absolutely loves the way they talk and could simply sit there for hours watching two of them have a conversation.

Physical Appearance: CC, for sure, but as I am basing him strongly off of the creature from Frankenstein, I see him as having a few scars, one in particular I have in mind is of a scar going from above his left eye, along his nose, and following his right cheekbone, ending below his right ear. Not that I have anything specific in mind or anything. I also picture him with different eyes (one green one blue perhaps?), and just an incongruous appearance in general.

History: Shelley loved that first hour of his life; simply wandering the forest, feeling the breeze, looking at the trees, and just feeling alive. He was trying to discover/remember who he was, but he could recall nothing but the story. Once he was finally forced out of the forest, he felt very much like a fish out of water, and didn't know how he was supposed to react to the city. On the one hand, he now had an entire new world to explore, on the other, he suddenly had to interact with these people, something neither experience nor his story had prepared him for.

Hobbies: reading, learning, exploring, painting (though he isn't very good). Shelley has recently started taking an interest in the clockwork machinery around the city, but his real passion still lies in language.

Birthday: April 8
Favorite Things: Words, books, brushes, pens, the wind, the city folk's language, the sun-weak though it may be, heights, new things, dreaming, the feel of cool metal on skin, laughter, etc...
Hated Things: He hasn't found anything yet. He probably won't. Shelley isn't the kind to hate.

Story: Frankenstein
Favorite type of Ending: Sad ones. Tragedies are Shelley's favorite, because they move him more deeply than happy endings. He loves the feeling of heart-ache, it makes him feel more alive.
Favorite Illustration:A painting of Sisyphus
Dreams: Shelley dreams of flying, and of wandering through enormous caverns of ice. Unless you meant less literal dreams, in which case he dreams of someday exploring out beyond the forest.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 1:38 pm


So, this shall be my first critique, hopefully it's helpful. xD;

shy/withdrawn: I think you will want to stick with withdrawn, or even isolated, since your description of being "plagued by a wanderlust" and being afraid of forming any long term relationships because of it doesn't quite fit the definition of being shy.
Also, why would he stay withdrawn from others in order to hide the fact that he doesn't belong?
This will probably need a rewrite, seeing how it doesn't agree with the rest of your description. Perhaps adventurous would be better?

curious: If he's always being drawn away by far off lands, why would he be interested in the city around him?
A bit of a contradiction.

Appreciative: Again, if he's unhappy in the city, I doubt he would appreciate it.

I guess you could say the last trait is afraid of death.

History: Six months, I believe, is rather a long time for the book children to be wandering along in the forest, since the guardians will eventually nudge them out. But expand a little. What happened when he got to the city? What made him feel like an outcast?

Hobbies: He takes an interest in the machinery around the city - again going back to the wanderlust is contradicting his interest in the city.


I would really like to see a few of your ideas of what he looks like, also.

Phoenix Songbird

Dapper Gekko


waphel

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 2:09 pm


Phoenix Songbird
So, this shall be my first critique, hopefully it's helpful. xD;

shy/withdrawn: I think you will want to stick with withdrawn, or even isolated, since your description of being "plagued by a wanderlust" and being afraid of forming any long term relationships because of it doesn't quite fit the definition of being shy.
Also, why would he stay withdrawn from others in order to hide the fact that he doesn't belong?
This will probably need a rewrite, seeing how it doesn't agree with the rest of your description. Perhaps adventurous would be better?

curious: If he's always being drawn away by far off lands, why would he be interested in the city around him?
A bit of a contradiction.

Appreciative: Again, if he's unhappy in the city, I doubt he would appreciate it.

I guess you could say the last trait is afraid of death.

History: Six months, I believe, is rather a long time for the book children to be wandering along in the forest, since the guardians will eventually nudge them out. But expand a little. What happened when he got to the city? What made him feel like an outcast?

Hobbies: He takes an interest in the machinery around the city - again going back to the wanderlust is contradicting his interest in the city.


I would really like to see a few of your ideas of what he looks like, also.



Thanks for the critique, I changed up a few things, I'll probably work on it a little more later tonight, but as for the wanderlust vs. curiosity of the city. I'll try to explain a little more thoroughly a little later, but basically what I was trying to show is that he has this longing for new places, but he is still fascinated by the city. Also, since he understands that he will never be able to satisfy his wanderlust, he distracts himself by learning more about the city.

does that make sense? My brain isn't working particularly well at the moment.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 2:13 pm


Yes, that makes sense.
So with that, I believe you'd want to use adventurous opposed to withdrawn, since being withdrawn is just a side affect of wanting to travel to other places.

Phoenix Songbird

Dapper Gekko


waphel

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:38 pm


Phoenix Songbird
Yes, that makes sense.
So with that, I believe you'd want to use adventurous opposed to withdrawn, since being withdrawn is just a side affect of wanting to travel to other places.


I fixed him up a little more, I'd love to hear what you think. Thanks again for all the help.
PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 10:28 pm


adventurous: So...it seems like you still want to keep the isolation part, so I suggest you make a new trait for it, since it's awkward if you put it in with adventurous. Or, explain how being adventurous might keep him distanced from people other than why his feeling isolated makes him adventurous.
I get what you're trying to say, but over all the description doesn't make too much sense. The first sentence doesn't really explain the adventurous trait, the second one makes a bit more sense. The third one is fine as well, though the wording is poor. The fourth sentence...the "jump before you look" is random and disconnected to everything else. As does the fourth sentence, since "spontaneity and intensity" is a different trait that adventurous.

curious: Seems fine, depending on how you decide to elaborate on adventurous.

joyful: I forgot to mention this earlier, but if you're going to say "appreciative" is a better descriptor, then you should probably use it. xD

history: A month is still a great deal of time. The way I understand it, book children are guided by guardians within hours of them waking up. Probably a few days at the most.
Now, you could stay instead that Shelley insisted on staying in the forest for a week or two, at the dismay of the guardian that found him. You could also mention more specific examples. Why did he feel like he was a fish out of water? What exactly made him feel that way?

Phoenix Songbird

Dapper Gekko



iStoleYurVamps

iStoleYurVamps

Vice Captain

Trash Husband

PostPosted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 11:43 pm


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:21 am


Phoenix Songbird
adventurous: So...it seems like you still want to keep the isolation part, so I suggest you make a new trait for it, since it's awkward if you put it in with adventurous. Or, explain how being adventurous might keep him distanced from people other than why his feeling isolated makes him adventurous.
I get what you're trying to say, but over all the description doesn't make too much sense. The first sentence doesn't really explain the adventurous trait, the second one makes a bit more sense. The third one is fine as well, though the wording is poor. The fourth sentence...the "jump before you look" is random and disconnected to everything else. As does the fourth sentence, since "spontaneity and intensity" is a different trait that adventurous.

curious: Seems fine, depending on how you decide to elaborate on adventurous.

joyful: I forgot to mention this earlier, but if you're going to say "appreciative" is a better descriptor, then you should probably use it. xD

history: A month is still a great deal of time. The way I understand it, book children are guided by guardians within hours of them waking up. Probably a few days at the most.
Now, you could stay instead that Shelley insisted on staying in the forest for a week or two, at the dismay of the guardian that found him. You could also mention more specific examples. Why did he feel like he was a fish out of water? What exactly made him feel that way?


So, I tried to change things up a bit more. At first I was kind of forcing the isolation bit because it's the biggest theme in Frankenstein, but when I was re-writing this morning it started to feel a little more like it belonged. I hope I did a better job of explaining it. Again, thank you so much for all the critiques, you've been incredibly helpful.

I bumped down his time in the forest to only a week, hopefully that's a little more realistic time frame- I do think he would have spent a little more time than most in the forest, but not excessively so, I guess I just misunderstood how long they usually spend out there. If that's still a little too long I can add something about him fighting his guardian over it.

waphel



iStoleYurVamps

iStoleYurVamps

Vice Captain

Trash Husband

PostPosted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 6:46 pm


waphel

User Image

Only thing needing to be changed is the fact Shelley would have been found in about an hour. Its a small fact and easy to miss but it's shop canon. =u=; Other than that, you're good to go!
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