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I posted the same thing in the life issuse sub forum but I still need some help.

Ok, I'll start from the begining. Two summers ago this girl and I became
very good friends. We were always hanging out and stuff, and of course, we told each other a lot of things we had done like secrets and crap. Well she started hanging out with these other girls who are really bitchy and I just started hanging out with my other friends. No big deal. Well recently she started dating a guy I have known my entire life. I never dated him but I had done somethings I am not proud of with him and she knew that. Well anyway she is telling everyone that I'm trying to steal him away from her! She is saying that I've had a crush on him for a really long time which is a TOTAL lie!! I think of him as a brother and what we did when we were younger we agreed never to let it affect our friendship. Well anyway, I dunno what she told my boyfriend but when I called him he sounded really mad and said that my friend had told him everything and that he didn't want to be with me anymore. I'm so pissed!! I'm sick of people talking about me and saying I'm trying to steal her boyfriend!! I dunno what to do and I'm really stressed. Usually I'm good at solving problems like this but I have no idea how to fix this. Please help.


Just so you know I already stopped being her friend so you don't have to tell me she is not a true friend. Also my boyfriend and I were probably going to split up anyway so I don't know if I should try to fix things between us.

For whatever reason, young people treat each other like s**t. There's nothing you can really do except damage control (which I believe you're already doing), and learning from the mistake of telling other people secrets. As they say in the intelligence community, the probability of a secret getting out is exponentially proportionate to the number of people who know the secret in the first place.

Oi, I have been in situations simular to this before. Here is what you can do that is usually pretty effective:

1) Get in touch with your (ex)boyfriend, preferably in person, and tell him everything from your pov. Maybe you can say something like: "Look, I feel that I deserve to have my side of things heard. All you have to do is listen to what I have to say. In the end, it is still up to you whether or not you believe me, but atleast give me that chance to tell you my side." Just calmly tell him your side of things and leave it at that. Don't try to force him to believe you, plead with him, beg with him, make deals, or anything like that. If he really loves/cares about you, he will at very least give you the chance to tell your side of things. he may take time to hitnk it over, but try your best to just sit back and let him come to his own conclusions. If he still pushes you away, then it wasn't meant to be and you will find someone better.

2) Is this guy you had some happenings with who is now with your (ex)friend saying anything in your defense? Is he steping up and helping to set things straight? Maybe something like "Okay we did those things, but that was a long time ago and we haven't done anything remotely like that since"? Maybe you should ask him to help you out, especially if it is true that you two have not done anything in a long time and never planned too.

3) Just realize that friends always come and go, but you are forever. You can always make new friends and even boyfriends and so on. What matters is not how they treat you or how the friendships/relationships ended, but how you handle it and walk away from it. It is okay to fight for something, but you still need to know when it is enough and when to tone it down or even back off completely.

4) The only other thing you really can do is get together with all those involved, and only those directly involved, and tlak it out all together. Yes, this can result in many fights and so on. You just have ot be calm about it, say what you have to say, and leave it at that. If they want to fight or throw insults, then let them.

If all those fail, as well as anything else you might have tried, then just walk away from it. if they truely loved/cared about you, they won't just let you leave them behind. They may go throug hthe rest of their lives convinced that becuase you walked away that proves them right. So what? Let them think and believe what they want too. Fight when you feel you need to, but learn when enoug his enough. Learn to walk away and find something/someone better for yourself.

It is good you ended your friendship with this young woman of which is saying such vile things about you.

However, in regards of your boyfriend try sitting down with him and start things off by telling him the truth. As it has been previously stated, should he not be willing to listen to you or believe you, then the relationship probably had little hope of lasting from the beginning and you can surely do better.

You have to talk to her boyfriend and tell him to stop going out with her, that way you'll get her pissed off, which will be your revenge and then you can be friends with him the same way you used to be.
You can't let him date that lying b***h.