Epic by Faith No More hits, leading to a lot of boos from the Burn crowd. Jason walks out from the back, completely unfazed by the heat he's receiving. A likely reason for at least some of the boos is the T-shirt he's wearing, with "I PINNED MIKE LANDRY" in huge bold letters on the front. He's holding a microphone, which means this segment is going to be one of the most outrageous, entertaining parts of the night. As he walks to the ring, he ignores the little kids holding out their hands for high fives and flips one guy the bird. This is HIS night, as is every night, and if the idiots in the stands don't understand that, ******** them. He enters the ring, standing in the centre for a few moments as the crowd boos more. Once he's pretty sure the fans are hoarse, Jason raises his lethal weapon and begins to speak.
"Greetings, d**k jockeys."
Jason invites more booing, which the crowd is all too happy to give. With a hot crowd tonight getting over his material shouldn't be too hard.
"Now, since most of you are illiterate, my shirt says 'I pinned Mike Landry'. Kicked his a**. Absolutely destroyed him. When his rape-children watch tape of this match they're going to be embarrassed. But you see, I wasn't just supposed to beat Landry and Harli last week. There was supposed to be another team involved in that match, a team who didn't show up. You probably know them as the Damones, or those overweight black guys who can't deliver a promo."
A cheap shot at your opponents is always a good way to get booed, and this is no exception. Jason is supremely confident about saying this - after all, the Damones aren't even in the arena tonight!
"And this is news to me, but apparently Landry and Harli are big deals in the wrestling industry - could've fooled me, I made them look like autistic children - so EEW's front office has decided to reward me and my good friend and tag tam partner Nuke Fusion with the shot at the Tag Team Championships we so richly deserve. At the biggest Pay Per View of the year, One Night Stand, no less. I can't think of a better place for the Tap Out Mafia to win their first EEW Tag Team Titles, can you?"
The audience doesn't like this at all. Fans are shouting an assortment of insults at Jason, who can't make any out in particular. It doesn't matter, though. He's achieving his desired effect.
"You know why the Damones weren't here last week, don't you? Even you retards should be able to figure it out. They didn't show up because they were afraid. Afraid that I would not only beat them, but embarrass them in the process. I can't say I blame them. Look what I did to those two trolls they put me in the ring with. I beat not one, but TWO former world champions. They should be scared. The Damones can play all the mind games they want, but I'm scarier than any dragon, because I'm genetically superior."
The expected heat for his catchphrase comes quickly, followed by a "Jarel" chant.
"Chanting that idiot's name isn't going to bring him out here. He's at home right now, with his whole family, quaking in fear. They can't even bear to be in the same arena as the man who's going to take their championships. And just to make sure of that, I have this..."
Jason reaches in the pocket of his leather jacket and pulls out plane tickets, clearly those of the Unholy Alliance, and holds them up. The fans boo as Jason laughs at his own cleverness.
"Hey Damones, you suck and we're going to beat the s**t out of you on pay per view, again, and take your tag team titles, again."
Jason takes his shades off the collar of his T-shirt and puts them on.
"DEAL WITH IT!"
