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 Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:53 am
I posted all of these rants/threads in a private forum, so I will post them here in separate entries. I just really really need some input on this situation that i am in, i just feel like I have no real idea what to do and I could use some support.
Btw ignore any links posted in these, those go to the private guild.
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:54 am
My Parents. are driving me. ********. Insane.
7/5
So yep, this is a rant about how much my parents have been pissing me off lately. It will probably come out as a whiny teenager who hates her parents and their rules, and for all i know that is what it is, but I DO know that if i don't let this out NOW, I will explode.
My parents have really been getting on my nerves lately. I am a person who takes words VERY seriously, and I rarely ever use the word hate. But I am getting close to hating my mother and step father.
I am 15, almost 16, but I have been told countless times by people I work for, family members, friends and even strangers how mature I act. I do act a bit older for my age, I appreciate being a free spirit who does things on a whim, and I love to surround myself with friends.
My mother, on the other hand, is the type to baby me then tell me to grow up. With her, the smallest things that I slip up on are intentional, the slightest bit of firmness in my tone is attitude, and the most understandable miscomunications are me being manipulative. Examples of each:
My mother told me to clean my room which I am currently sharing with my two sisters. She told me to get the clothes from the foot of the bed and on the chair and so I gathered up all of the dirty socks and shirts and underwear that there was and put them in the hamper. As it turns out, i missed a pair of my little sister's socks that were on the chair. My mother, quite literally, screamed at me for telling her that I had gotten the clothes. She said there was no way that what I did was an accident, and in fact it was "complete disregard" for what she had asked me too do. My older sister agreed that it was totally uncalled for.
My older sister is visiting from out of state, where I had been visiting her for the past month. My very good friend just turned 17 and wanted me to go with her to a theme park to celebrate. My parents stood in the living room hollering how wrong it was for me to want to go on a day trip without my sister who was a house guest. I would understand this if I hadn't been with my sister for the past month, and if she had actually wanted to go. But my sister said she would like a day alone and that we had spent plenty of time together. I was almost in tears because my parents were frustrating me so much, and so I tried to talk in a firm steady tone so as not to cry. My mother told me to not dare use "That attitude" with her, and if that was the only way i felt I could talk to her that she didn't even want to hear it.
I wanted to show my sister around a little and introduce her to my best friend who really wanted to meet her. My mother said that we could go over to my friends house to get her, and we could show her around. I used to term "go get her" in reference to my friend and my mother said okay. My stepfather called and again i said we were going to get my friend and we were going to show amber some of the town and hang out. After walking 15 minutes to and from my friends house in 100+ weather, we went to Starbucks and Walmart and a small strip mall, then back to our apartment to go swimming. When my parents got home and found out my friend had been over, I got yelled at yet again for twisting my parents against each other to make it seem like they both gave me permission.
My parents are costantly yelling at me and my sisters, but especially me. I had missed home when i was away for a month, but now I miss my home state and all of my own friends. If I am texting with a friend I "have my phone up my a**". If i am on the computer I am a lazy a**. If I forget to do the dishes RIGHT AWAY (I do my chores on my own time, but they always get done) I am a spoiled teen who never listens.
I can't wait for the next 2 years to be over, so that i can move back to my home state where all of my good friends are. I have friends here but they will be in college anyways. My parents quite literally baby me, giving me little to no room and freedom, then tell me to grow up and get a grip of the world.
I can't wait to get a job. I can't wait to go to college. I can't wait to move out. I am pretty sure that my parents are being totally unreasonable. but again, i have no idea how i sound to you. Some feedback would be AMAZING, though. I would love to hear how you guys feel about this situation.
And if you read this far, thank you SO much for listening!
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:55 am
Another Parent Themed Rant 7/20 So my parents have been driving me up the wall lately. you can read alot of the issues between me and my parents here . Things have been getting even worse here. Not necessarily the yelling, badgering, name calling, or anything like that. But my parents are getting even more nit-picky about the stupidest things, and being incredibly insensitive. This is going to be a point blank rant, just me spewing random bits of info as they come into my brain. Some of the things I dislike about my parents: They insist that having me and my 10 year old sister walk 30 - 45 minutes in 100+ temperature so we can go to the library or public pool is a reasonable request. Also there is no shade on either trip, just straight on sunlight. They take long and obscure way to get me to do things. I would much rather have my mother say "When you are done with what you are doing, please do the dishes." Instead of "Hey what are you doing? ... How long have you been doing that? ... Well do you know what else you could be doing in stead? ... I mean, what you SHOULD be doing instead? ... The dishes, wow you're so smart, that's right!" I used to be able to have friends over at my house. Now suddenly, and literally without any reason, i am not allowed to have my friends over my house. They are sexual in front of me and my little sister. My and my sister will be on the couch watching TV with my parents, and they will suddenly start making out. Not like just kissing alot, I mean full out face-mowing. Loudly and moaning. And my step dad will do something totally (in my eyes) disgusting, like get down and start sucking on my mom's thighs while shes standing doing something, and instead of stopping him she drops what she is doing and says how good it feels. Not to mention the loud mid day sex session *shudder* My stepdad swears. A lot. I do the dishes, and sometimes I put dishes away without seeing they have a few specks of food on them. When he pulls out a glass with something in it, he won't say "Jasmin there is stuff in this glass, you really need to be watching what you are doing, please." he says "What the ******** is this ******** smegma s**t in the bottom of the glass! ******** Jasmin is it so ******** hard to ******** WASH THE DAMNED GLASS?" I am not exaggerating on this at all. He literally said this. btw, smegma is that whiteish yellow stuff that developes in you crotch if you don't wash it for a few days. My stepdad and my mom get into a lot of argument solely because they don't listen to each other when they are mad. My stepdad constantly tells my sister (who i will admit does seem a bit slow) how "******** retarded and mentally challenged" and what a pain in the a** she is. So yeah, this stuff and a lot of other things which, for the sake of space and time, I won't get, drive me ******** insane when it comes to my parents. I have decided that as SOON as I possibly can, I am moving back to my home state with my father and older sister, which they are both on board with.
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:56 am
to save alot of space, I'm just going to say that I have alot of issues with my mother and stepfather, you can read all about it here . I have decided to move back to my homestate and hometown with my father and sister, who both treat me very well. Should I go back to my old school? 7/26 But I have one problem. In my small hometown, there is only one high school to go to, and I hate it and the people there with a passion. I was bullied all my life, to the point of having an eating disorder and hurting myself, because of some of the kids at my school. Sure, i have grown up alot in the time I have been away, and they now tell my over the internet how pretty/talented/interesting I am, but I am not sure if I am willing to lower myself down to their hill billy closed minded levels again by going to the school. The closest high school other than that is 20 minutes away and I would have to pay because its in a different town, and there are no free online school for that particular state, so I don't really have a choice... but I would like for you guys to give any input you can on this matter, because it's one of the one things that is really worrying me about moving back home.
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:58 am
How do I tell my mom I want to move with my dad? 7/28 Hopefully this will be the last thread I make about these issues I have been having with my family. I just want to thank you girls who have been reading my posts and encouraging and supporting me to do what's healthy! You are making things so much easier on me. You can read all about my issues with my mom and step father here , there you will find my most recent post on the abuse(?) I have been dealing with, and the previous posts. So my question for all of you gals in... how do I do it? How do I open up and tell my mother that I want to move back with my dad, and that he and my sister are both totally on board? I don't know if I should sit her down and tell her, or do it while out and about on errands, or what. I have never been very good at starting confrontations and serious talks gonk To be honest, this is the only reason why I haven't talked to her yet. School down here starts soon, and I'd like to let them know I want to move before I go back, so that we don't have to pay for books I won't be reading or invest in a lunch account that I won't be using. My step dad will be going away for at least a few days to visit his kids out of state for their birthdays, so do you think that this would be a good time to talk to my mother? When she is more relaxed? School back in my home state doesn't start till September, so that gives me about a month to move if I want to get to school on time, which isn't very important to me because I'd be going back to my old school where I know all of the teachers, rooms, and people. So girls... how do I tell my mother that I feel that I am being abused and mistreated, and that I want to move back to my home town, which she thinks I still hate??
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 11:35 am
Okay, honestly, you're young. I'm not being mean about this or looking down because of your age, but you're young, and this situation is by far the least agressive and abusive you'll face as you get older.
High school sucks for everyone. I'm 23, I know what its like to have an abraisive family and a farm-boy high school in the middle of death summers.
When school comes back into session, you'll be away from your family instead of with them 24/7. It gives you a better scope of things and a break from both situations. Get involved with band or drama club or something and people do change from one grade to the next.
Also, just do the dishes.
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 11:44 am
o8Orobouros8o Okay, honestly, you're young. I'm not being mean about this or looking down because of your age, but you're young, and this situation is by far the least agressive and abusive you'll face as you get older. High school sucks for everyone. I'm 23, I know what its like to have an abraisive family and a farm-boy high school in the middle of death summers. When school comes back into session, you'll be away from your family instead of with them 24/7. It gives you a better scope of things and a break from both situations. Get involved with band or drama club or something and people do change from one grade to the next. Also, just do the dishes. Yeah I know I'm young. And I'm not saying that this is the worse thing in the world, and that my life is pitiful. It's not, and I'm sure there are children all over the world who would love to switch lives with me. But it's still a hard thing to do. I do do the dishes, it's not like I just leave them sitting around all day. I would just like to do them in piece, without my mother standing over me the entire time critiquing or my stepdad in the living room doing loud hurtful imitations of me. I will be with my family just the same amout durring school, for the most part, as my parents tend to leave early in the morning and get back after the school day would be well over with.
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 12:09 pm
Parents can hold a lot of resentment over the years against their kids. It sucks but it's only natural, you don't remember all the s**t you pulled everyday when you were 5 but the parents do. I know my relationship with my dad is way better now after college when he got to have a break and didn't have to see me everyday.
I know my friends' families and family distant members always thought I was mature for my age, but they only have to see me a few hours at a time and not live with me.
My only advice is teenage years are meant to be angsty, it'll get easier when you move out
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 2:37 pm
While I don't think that what they're doing qualifies as abuse, I can understand why it upsets you. Personally, I would just go out and tell her that you want to move back in with your father. I'm not sure what the legal statutes are in your state, in a lot of states, after a certain age the child has a legal right to choose what parent s/he wants to live with.
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Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 11:45 pm
pirulaso Parents can hold a lot of resentment over the years against their kids. It sucks but it's only natural, you don't remember all the s**t you pulled everyday when you were 5 but the parents do. I know my relationship with my dad is way better now after college when he got to have a break and didn't have to see me everyday. I know my friends' families and family distant members always thought I was mature for my age, but they only have to see me a few hours at a time and not live with me. My only advice is teenage years are meant to be angsty, it'll get easier when you move out Right? As soon as I moved out things got sooo much better. Mom and I stopped getting into fistfights *nodnod*
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Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 12:48 am
If you move out, cut ties with the two of them completely for no less than four months.
I'm the second youngest, and the only boy in the house, until mom got remarried. My step-dad was a d**k, but he was trying to raise me good, since I was surrounded by girls who LOVED to bedazzle the s**t out of me. But my mom seemed to have nothing but endless hate for me.
When I moved out and quit talking to everyone, eventually they kept trying to talk to me. Suddenly ma was nice.... then again, that could be her huge obsession with the "nuclear family". If all ties are successfully broken, that means our entire family will be able to call her a failure as a mother.
If you're sick of their behavior, get out of the house as soon as (comfortably) possible. Not only will you feel better, you tend to see how much they "care" about you. If their attitude towards you continues, only keep contact with your sisters and father. The other two obviously won't deserve your attention.
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