It is sad to say, and to realize, when one has a good thing going for them. Good things never lasted, anyways, and so why bother knowing heartache awaits when all the good has run out? She had been a fool for believing it could have been any other way.
Their moment in the field had seemed so sweet, and so real, that Tiyana had allowed herself to fall into something much deeper than she could dig herself out of; she let the situation run out of control, her feelings taking over her survivalist logic and telling her, ‘No harm can come from this. You are fine here!’ she was tricking herself, and in lieu, had tricked Adonai into keeping her at his side for a little while longer, all for the bit of comfort he offered and the companionship she knew she needed. He coddled her, and treated her so very cordially, bringing her meals and pretty things; flowers, usually, but small glittering stones and delicate feathers would occasionally find their way into her possession. She had a small treasury going on now, each and every gift placed within the fox den where they had first become comfortable with one another’s presence. It had been dug out a bit more for comfort’s sake, but otherwise, it remained a nice place to meet when complete secrecy was required; just in case another pokey little grandson thought to follow him along again. She became vulnerable and soft, and he had answered her every call as though blind to the consequences they could bring. She hadn’t given them a second thought, either, and why should she? Nothing had ever come to fruition before.
Of course, that didn’t mean it never would.
She wondered if he had noticed anything. It had taken her a while to realize that her slightly-altered waistline was not the buildup of good food and easy living, or that the bit of sickness hadn’t been because of an unsavory fish; she had been willing to blame it all on him, and truthfully, she still could. It would be better if he could just continue believing her somewhat swayful emotions were simply part of her personality, or a reaction to the changing weather. Spring was on its way, and so… she must have allergies. Yes. Allergies.
...
Oh, what did it matter?! She couldn’t hide it from him forever! What was she to do, tell him one morning that she was pregnant, carrying more unwanted pups that he most certainly would want to leave? He had left before… or at least, that was what she had gleaned from his grandson, Balios. He had left whatever female he’d impregnated, and hadn’t returned until his children were full-grown with young of their own. He had left, and would leave her, too. He couldn’t find out what had happened, or else…
How was she supposed to keep him from finding anything out? Stop her pregnancy? Perhaps if she ate certain poisonous things, but then, she ran the risk of seriously harming herself; which, at this point, almost wasn’t a concern. She thought of as many other things that might keep the little creatures from developing, but so many of them required courage as well as desperation, which she just didn’t have! She couldn’t make up her mind, and was so confused - what was she supposed to do?
Run.
She was supposed to run. Before Adonai could excuse himself from her life, she would vanish. Leave before he had the opportunity. Go back to the way her life was supposed to be, albeit with a few extra travelers... but even those would be easily taken care of, if she could find a pack close enough to be the lucky recipients of a few more members. Yes, that was exactly it! She could leave, and have her mistake far from where Adonai could catch wind; she would have them, leave them, and then continue on with her life, as she was sure he would, too.
She wouldn’t go back to him, though. She couldn’t, not knowing what they had shared and what she was about to give up. Small lives… little ones who would be raised not knowing their father or their mother, but knowing her own personal track record, that was probably for the best. They’d be cared for by others who might care more. They would be given more than what she could provide, and might actually grow into decent animals despite their shaky heritage.
She was doing the right thing. It was the right thing to do. It was right…
She was right to leave. And so one night, after Adonai was gone and the moon drifted high, she left.
