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 Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 2:20 pm
Race: Human
Position: Black Heart - Dragon Mononoke
With no noble family to associate with, let alone family at all, Cruor slowly worked his way through the ranks to become a Black Heart.
Stage: Reaper
Gender: Male
Personality:
Quick-Witted - Cruor is incredibly adaptable to any situation that requires him to think on his feet. He performs well under pressure and is good at making split-second decisions. This is also apparent in conversations where it takes him little to no time to retort to jabs or playful banter. However this can also make him seem a little coarse, a little mean at times, but it is, honestly, his way of showing affection. If he dislikes you, he won't talk to you at all, typically.
Charismatic - He has a way of drawing others to him through his confidence and experience. Cruor does not hesitate to take the lead in any situation that may require direction, even if the task seems daunting. This can cause him to gain many allies but, on the other hand, it can also make him enemies. While he isn't ambitious he can be seen as such due to how easy it is for others to place their trust and loyalty in him.
Calculating - Cruor rarely does anything without thinking it completely through. He always weighs the consequences and rewards of every interaction or situation which, at times, can make him seem rather selfish. This also includes combat, during which he is always thinking, gauging reactions to certain actions before attacking. However, due to this, it can occasionally leave him torn or unable to make a decision at times due to over thinking a situation. It is very rare that Cruor simply goes with the obvious or simple answer to anything.
Hot-Tempered - While Cruor hides it well, he has a rather vicious temper. Often he will seethe silently for extended period of time before unleashing his rage when its target is unsuspecting. This anger also fades incredibly slowly and he tends to hold onto it for days, sometimes up to a week. During combat this can cause him to become more reckless than normal. It can also cause him to lash out blindly at others, something he would find shameful normally.
Stubborn - For Cruor it's his way or the highway in most situations unless one does a considerable amount of convincing. He loathes being told that his decisions are wrong and, even if they are, he has a tendency to stick to them anyways out of sheer stubborn pride. This can cause a great deal of problems in leadership roles as it could lead to him getting someone hurt or killed.
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 1:25 pm
History:
Cruor and his younger brother were born only a few months apart, the latter of which was born premature and thus was a little small, a little more frail. When he was born, Cruor was already showing signs of being a mononoke, something that filled his mother and father with joy, but it seemed to get pushed in the face of his brother's frailty. From a young age he assisted in both helping with his brother and keeping the house clean, making sure to be the model son to his incredibly strict and borderline stoic father. However their mother was always kind to him, despite how quiet and withdrawn Cruor had gradually become over the years. His father continued to press him to become stronger, to do better, since he was the son that had the healthy body to do everything his father had dreamed of his sons doing.
Before the Academy he practiced daily when it came to spells as well as physical endurance. With his father's coaching he grew very fit for a boy his age and, with his mother's tutelage, he began to hone the magic he had shown signs of when he was much younger. His mother was always very proud of his advances, but his father was never satisfied. He always insisted that Cruor could do more, could be better than he was thus Cruor, being the obliging son, worked harder than ever. However his brother always seemed to have a smile for him, even when Cruor would not smile back at him. The younger boy always tried to do what he could for his older brother, even though it was very little.
Finally Cruor had to leave to attend the Academy. School was a little awkward for him, having had few interactions with other boys aside from his brother, but he soon adapted, gingerly growing less cold and more social. He made a few friends, even, and he excelled academically with their assistance as well. For a while, despite letters of his mother's poor health, Cruor was actually happy. For the first time since he could remember he didn't have to do everything around the home and could finally enjoy the company of other children his age.
One morning, however, he received a very different letter. It was from his father this time and was very brief, telling his son that his mother had passed away due to her illness. His blood had gone cold as the shock had settled in, causing him to cry for the first time since he had been a very young boy. Also in the letter was a demand that he come home more frequently to help tend to his brother, which meant that Cruor would have to find a way to get to their home in the city then back to the Academy regularly.
His studies suffered as he was often late to class and he was always exhausted. His father didn't accept these excuses, instead ranting and yelling about what he had to endure to let him and his brother go to school. However, finally, after over two years of barely scraping by in school, his brother was able to attend the Academy as well. Finally Cruor was able to keep an eye on his younger brother and focus on his studies as well, and he began to excel, especially when it came to offensive magic. Everything was going well until one night when, once again, one of his loved ones was taken from him.
Many murmured that he shouldn't have been out after dark, wandering the grounds alone, that his own foolishness resulted in his fate. But, briefly, Cruor wondered if his brother had been lured by someone, tricked into going out when and where it was not safe. Either way his brother's heart had been consumed by a Witch Eater before he had then been murdered... While he was supposed to be taking care of him.
It didn't take long for his father to find out about the incident and write him a letter. Cruor was blamed entirely for the incident, for his irresponsibility concerning his brother, practically being blamed for his brother's death. In his anger his father had disowned him, casting him out of the household, costing the then seventeen-year-old to lose his last name and his home. Despite that he still graduated, never asking for any form of assistance, all the while a cold bitterness began to fester in him; a hatred for Majins and for what they had done to him, to his family.
Once he graduated he disappeared to the city, enlisting immediately with the reapers and slowly climbing through the ranks. While his hatred slowly simmered down to a controllable level over the years of experience he gained, it still festered under the surface, driving him to become a Black Heart. Now he works harder than ever, becoming judge, jury, and executioner for any Majin that moves even a little out of line.
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 1:26 pm
Ability Concetration/Theme: Offensive, Fire Elemental Magic- Pyromancy~
His focus is on offensive magic with just a hint of magic that would assist him with stealth, such as being able to wrap himself in darkness or shadow.
Tea
Bloodwing Nocturne
xxxDeath's Mantle, Ifrit's Heart, Ornate Hilt, Dragon's Bane, Scarlet Ale, Tiger's Blood
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Posted: Fri Aug 12, 2011 1:28 pm
Visual References:[x] [x]Armor:[x] <--- I want you to have artistic freedom. No need to worry about a helmet, but I really like this set of armor, so if you feel inspired to do something similar, that would be lovely. Description:Hair: Black with red tips, medium length, shorter, closer to chin length in front, tapering back to just below the base of the neck in the back, bone straight. Eyes: Crimson Horns: Preferably straight-back pointing, kind of like this. However if you have an idea that might look better, I'm up for suggestions and creative freedom! Tail: Black and crimson markings, almost stripes, but don't go around the whole tail, perhaps a silver / white underside? Open to creativity here too.
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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 6:00 pm
Alright lets get started ~!
FYI, I love the idea of a Dragon Mononoke <33
Personality:
So from his quick-witted trait I'm picking up he kind of likes to pick at the people he is fond of? What would happen if this backfired on him like say he might come off a little to 'coarse or mean ' with that person and offend them? Would he apologize or play if off or ? ?
How exactly does him being Charismatic make him enemies? He is overly so to the point where maybe other people that want the lead find him to pushy or bossy or nosy? Or maybe he just is so charismatic he inspires envy in others ? xP
I'm sure plenty of people not only find him selfish for his calculating trait but, perhaps they find him a little to indecisive or grow impatient with him while he runs over every possible option ?
On this, the two traits quick-witted and Calculating ..are kind of conflicting one another. One time he is suppose to be able to spring into a decision on an instant and the other say he thinks it out very carefully...for this I'd say pick one of them to stick with ? OR you could even take quick-witted change it to something like decisive; as in once he's made up his mind he rarely wavers thereafter..? it can go in tune with his calculating trait since most people who think so much will rarely change their minds after they've arrived at a decision..? Or just take it down to Witty with just the verbal part that can come off as rude, rough or mean and leave out the quick decisions <3
I like how he is both hot tempered and stubborn that makes it easy to explain how he holds his grudges for up to a week at a time, lol. Is there a way however for someone to get back into his good graces sooner than the minimal cool off time for him? Does he every hold a longer grudge against someone due to his stubbornness EVEN if that person was right in whatever had spawned there fight,tension or what have you with one another? You say that he might do things he'd normally find shameful, in that would he ever offer an apology ? Or would he be to stubborn to do this, or just perhaps do it in private ?
I'm sure his Stubborn trait has him butting heads with people quite often and the fact that he can be seen as mean so my questions would be is it easy for him to make friends? Perhaps does his Charismatic side and wit help him in the aspect of acquiring friendships?
Errors
preforms - that's like preforming something beforehand, you want performs which is to carry out.
His history is a good on, nice details one issue though, unless the witch eater like actually killed him, killed him. Then just taking a witches heart does not kill them ; However Without it, a witch loses their ability to use magic, and to speak, and many become shadows of their former selves. The heart can only be returned by a Witch Eater, since it is their unique magic that can secure it and remove it.- With that you might want to rewrite that part of the history :3 <3
Since he has this hate for Majin, how would he deal with a known one? One is possibly good but might have rubbed him just the wrong way? Or even one they hasn't done anything to him at all ? Would he simply not talk to them or just hide the fact that he isn't overly fond of Majin?
Tea/Magic:
Hah dragon and fire >3 YES ! <3 Its a good idea, a little more detail couldn't hurt. *random feel free to ignore* stealth wise..perhaps scorch marks..could be used somehow . ?
Like I tell everyone a few things to consider adding for a more personal feel to the profile would be likes, dislikes, goals of some kind :3 just to help people get a good feel for him!
Overall on personality I think you've a pretty good idea of his traits maybe just go back and read them through again with the above things in mind and see if you might be able to add in a bit more detail. His history is good aside from the small bit about the death and how the shop does the dying with the hearts and all. He seems to be a very interesting individual I look forward to seeing him around. Alright all done hope you find it helpful ! :3 You've a good start here !
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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 9:22 pm
Thanks c:
I fixed the history thing and the spelling error. Derp.
On Charismatic...
This can cause him to gain many allies but, on the other hand, it can also make him enemies. While he isn't ambitious he can be seen as such due to how easy it is for others to place their trust and loyalty in him.
I'm guessing this doesn't flow well, but basically it implies that there is a possibility that he might make enemies due to others wanting to follow him. Thus, yes, envy. Usually that's how it works, I thought.
On the comment of impatience, it is possible, but it doesn't always take him more than a few moments to make a decision. Perhaps that I'll elaborate on that, but it's meant to go with the literal translation of quick-witted which is 'perceptive or bright'.
Calculating and Quick-Witted could possibly be changed to 'adapts well' but, also, some decisions don't take more than a few moments to process. Basically what I meant by 'qucik-witted' is that he thinks quickly, which goes along with the definition of being 'bright, intelligent, perceptive.' Basically what I meant by putting them together is that Cruor is a strategic thinker, one that processes data quickly, thus can act quickly and efficiently. Since it didn't come across as such I may have to reword some of it. *chinstroke.* Also the suggestion of decisive wouldn't work, because it's most likely too similar to his stubborn trait. :/ I don't want to make him seem flat at all. If you have any suggestions wording-wise for me, that would be great. <3
When it comes to his negative traits I'll attempt to elaborate further. <3
I'll think on your idea when it comes to magic. *contemplative chinstroke*
Thanks for the crit. c:
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